Over the past few weeks I have started a second job and been working an extra 20 hours a week. For the moment the extra cash I am bringing in is a huge help and the extra work load is also a plus because it keeps my mind busy and keeps me on my toes.

I have also been thinking long and hard about the direction my future is headed. The job I am currently in is the caretaker of a TAFE in northern NSW. It’s a pretty strange system the government education system and unless you’re actually working in the industry it may not make sense.

I started the job in the beginning of February as a temporary. 7 months later I’m in the same position. With a private sector position logic would kick in and you would give the guy doing the job the full time position. Not in the public sector though. I have had to apply for my own job and I am waiting to go through a round of interviews to get the job that I am already doing and that every one is happy with me doing. Frustrating and confusing!

Any way I digress. I have been thinking of where I want to be in the future and what would make me happy. I have thought about the things that I enjoy and the things that stimulate me into enjoying life. Given the answers to the above it has taken some time to come up with a suitable future option that I would be happy doing. I have been looking through TAFE courses and Uni courses and trying to find something that would match my wants and needs.

I stumbled across a brilliant website and system that makes starting a uni degree so so so simple! It took 5 minutes on the phone to enrol in the course I wanted to do and that was it, my course is posted to me and the rest is available online.

The concept is designed around distance education made easy. You don’t need to sit entry exams, English competency exams or anything. It is left up to you to decide if you’re capable of studying a uni degree. If you’re at all interested in studying at uni, no matter which state you live in or almost any degree you wish to study you can set this up online. The website is below – Have a look!

www.open.edu.au  

I have signed up for a bachelor’s degree in Community Development. The course outline struck chords with me and I’ve been excited to get stuck into the study since I first saw the course structure. There are no set careers at the end of the degree but you are able to specialise in certain subjects later in the course to guide you into a career. It also gives you the freedom to take the degree and mould it into the career you want to make. This is very appealing at the moment and my mind is boggling with options and directions I want to take.

It will take around 5 years to complete the course if I study at a steady pace. A long anxious 5 years! I am more excited to get my brain back into gear and actually challenge myself and be able to put forward thinking into practice then to actually finish the degree.

The number of options I feel I have opened for myself through just enrolling in this degree has lifted a weight off my shoulders and I’m starting to feel better where life is heading. It is a strange feeling and one that I have not felt in a long long time also one that I do not wish to relinquish any time soon.

My mind is ticking over and thoughts are flowing, expect another batch of posts to show up in the next couple of weeks.

Thanks for reading

Cheers

Steve

I need direction.

I'm constantly searching for it in my life but I seem to lack the ability to stay interested in any one thing for a period of more than 6 months to a year.

I realised this first when I left school half way through 6th form. I had decided I was going to do something with computers and got myself accepted to the Waikato Polytech with big ideas.

Luckily the course I did was only 6 months long because by the end of it I'd really had enough of sitting in a class room, even if it was hands on.

Then I moved to Wellington with my partner and got sick.

It was just over a year later that I realised I might actually want to go to university.

I had been reading my old maths books (?!) and was quite interested in pharmaceuticals and thought I might like to be a pharmacist. But, because I had left school with nothing but School Cert I wasn't going to be able to get into University until I was at least 20.

So I did Victoria University's Certificate of University Proficiency, which is pretty much University Entrance.

I really shouldn't have been that surprised that by the end of this 6 month course I couldn't face 3 years of study and so instead I got a job.

Wanting it all right now

It comes down to being from Generation Y. We want it all, right now and we assume that if we are good at what we do we will reap the rewards automatically. I want to do things my way. I want to minimise the use of paper. I want to be relaxed in my surroundings. Unfortunately our bosses are not of the same generation and often value long term commitment, age and 'the boys club' a lot higher.

Having only worked in office's in the public sector I can't be sure that's true throughout though.

So what now?

My love of surveys, personality tests and divining all stem from my need for answers. Answers to questions like what makes me unique and what should I do with my life? I know it sounds overly cheesy but I want to be special! :D

As of now this blog is my project. Who knows, I may fail and get bored in a years time (like the bass lessons I took, and the languages I want to learn). Or I may find my direction in life. Two blog posts I stumbled upon today may provide another step in the path "The World’s Largest Blog Niche and Topic Idea List" and "How to Choose the Perfect Blogging Topic".

I love music, design, television, movies, food, photos, writing (which funnily enough I hated at school but always got good marks in), I have a special interest in colitis due to my illness, I'm alternative in my approach to fashion and I'm a bit of a greeny/human rights/animal rights supporter.

Any ideas?

I'll take all the help I can get.

Directions:-

Add ingredients to bread pan in order recommended by manufacturer. Recipe recommends using whole wheat setting or use the sweet bread setting.

Here's a short Bible study I did for a dear friend - a wonderful Christian woman - whose job is fraught with difficulties and stresses.  She rescues many - but is in need of rescue herself from time to time (like all of us) so I put this together to help her refocus - get away - and get set to strategize and receive Heaven's help.

HOW TO KNOW THE WILL OF GOD

E. Julie Baxter

The first thing you need is to realize God LOVES you and will absolutely give you wisdom when you ask.  (1 John 4:8, 16; James 1:5)

1.  ASK (for inspiration) BELIEVE (God’s Word) RECEIVE (success & personal growth experiences).  God knows what you need before you ask Him (Matthew 6:8) and if you ask you will receive (Matthew 7:7-8; 21:22; Mark 11:24-25; Luke 11:13)

2.  WATCH GOD - John 5:19-21 Therefore Jesus answered and was saying to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner.  For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself is doing; and the Father will show Him greater works than these, so that you will marvel.”

3.  DO NOTHING EXCEPT WHAT YOU SEE GOD DO - John 8:28-30 So Jesus said, "When you lift up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am He, and I do nothing on My own initiative, but I speak these things as the Father taught Me. And He who sent Me is with Me; He has not left Me alone, for I always do the things that are pleasing to Him."  As He spoke these things, many came to believe in Him.

4.  EXPERIENCE SUCCESS - John 14:12-15 "Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father.  Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.  If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it. If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.

The question is: when it comes time to weed, or to slash the roots for transplant, does the need outweigh the pain? For our colorful friends in the garden, we know the answer is yes. Weeding is a needed and necessary part of cultivation. But what about us? Is the pain that comes with weeding the garden of our lives worth it? As difficult as it is at times, the answer is still yes. We all grow ... our lives change, sending off new shoots and seeds, and we need to continually tend to our garden - our path - to keep it as we intend it to be. If we aren't carefully attending to what happens in our life, things we don't want can grow into larger problems, choking out the clarity of our direction and intention.

The weeding process can often be very painful and require a tremendous amount of "letting go" - sometimes of friends, lovers, jobs, dreams - but if we keep a clear vision of what we truly want in our lives, the spaces left behind are quickly filled with healthy, robust new blossoms ... and we breathe in the joy of seeing our life-garden be all it was created to be.

TheSpiritWalk.com

___________________________________________________________________

Everyone has their own opinion of how the nation should be ran and what direction it should be going in. As you listen to the different opinions and discussions, you have many varied directions.

Where do we get the inspiration?

Where things back then much better? Me personally being on this earth only 22 years, i couldn't really tell you too much of how things were, but I've listened to the discussions my parents and grandparents have about the "good ole' days" as they call them.

In my opinion it's another grass is greener on the other side type deal.

I want to know your thoughts on the state of the nation and what direction you think we should take?

Regards,

Tony L. Jefferson, Jr.

The third principle for integrating faith in the workplace, then, we will refer to as the principle of active dependence. It is the deliberate cultivation of daily dependence upon God to enable you to represent Him well in the calling in which He has placed you. As a Christian, you are called to do your work "as unto the Lord, and not unto men." If you are to put this principle into practice, you must be in constant communication with your True Employer through prayer. Spurgeon wrote:

"Faith leads a man to look to God for help in his ordinary avocation. Here, again, it has a great influence over him. A believer may seek of God the qualifications for his particular calling. "What," say you, "may we pray about such things?" Yes. The labourer may appeal to God for strength; the artisan may ask God for skill; the student may seek God for help to quicken his intelligence."

Pray daily for skill, understanding, and ability

There are a plethora of resources available to professionals to help them succeed in the marketplace. Most focus on harnessing the "inner strength" of the individual, finding the "magic pill" that will give you a new perspective and enable you to unlock the secrets of success. For the follower of Jesus Christ, the secret of success is active dependence upon God, submitting every thought, action and decision to Him, and walking in His will. The man who does this will be successful, perhaps not as the world defines success, but certainly as God defines it.

Do you want to do well, and glorify God in your vocation? Do you feel inadequacy in some area of your work? Are there aspects of your job that you don't understand, or skills that you feel you lack? Go to your heavenly Father and ask Him to help you to glorify Him by growing in your effectiveness and mastery of your field. If your genuine desire is to honor Him, rather than merely enriching yourself or building your own reputation, you will find Him more than ready to help you in your daily endeavors.

"David was a great warrior, and he attributed his valour to God who taught his hands to war and his fingers to fight. We read of Bezaleel, and of the women that were wise-hearted, that God had taught them, so that they made all manner of embroidery and metal work for the house of the Lord. In those days they used to reckon skill and invention to be the gifts of God; this wretched century has grown too wise to honour any God but its own idolized self. If you pray over your work I am persuaded you will be helped in it. If for your calling you are as yet but slenderly qualified, you may every morning pray God to help you that you may be careful and observant as an apprentice or a beginner; for has he not promised that as your day your strength shall be? A mind which is trusting in the Lord is in the best condition for acquiring knowledge, and getting understanding."

Prayer for godly conduct in the workplace

Even more important than your skillfulness in executing your vocational tasks is your behavior in the workplace. Your credibility among your co-workers, superiors and subordinates depends upon your faithfulness as an individual who professes Christ. Especially as a professing Christian, your fellow workers will be watching your conduct. If your speech and behavior are inconsistent with godliness, you will not only lose credibility as a professional, but you will give the enemies of Christ a reason to blaspheme. Daily diligence in prayer is essential to maintaining godliness in the workplace. Ask the Lord each day to grant you the grace to respond to every situation and challenge in a manner that honors Him. Pray for help to guard your tongue from harshness, gossip, backbiting, and disingenuousness. And above all, pray for humility, that when you stumble in these things, you will have the grace to confess it and make it right with your fellow workers. Without purposeful prayer, you cannot hope to maintain a godly testimony. Spurgeon puts it this way:

"As to your behaviour also in your work, there is room for faith and prayer. For, O brethren, whether qualified or not for any particular offices of this life, our conduct is the most important matter. It is well to be clever, but it is essential to be pure. I would have you masters of your trades, but I am even more earnest that you should be honest, truthful, and holy. About this we may confidently go to God and ask him to lead us in a plain path, and to hold up our goings that we slip not, He can and will help us to behave ourselves wisely. "Lead us not into temptation" is one sentence of our daily prayer, and we may further ask that when we are in the temptation we may be delivered from the evil. We need prudence, and faith remembers that if any lack wisdom he may ask of God. Godliness teaches the young men prudence, the babes knowledge and discretion. See how Joseph prospered in Egypt because the Lord was with him. He was placed in very difficult positions, on one occasion in a position of the most terrible danger, but he escaped by saying, "How can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?" A sense of God's presence preserved him then and at all other times. He was set over all the house of Potiphar because God was with him. And so, dear friends, engaged in service or in business, you may go to your heavenly Father and ask him to guide you with his counsel, and you may rest assured that he will order all your way, so that your daily calling shall not hinder your heavenly calling, nor your conduct belie your profession."

Pray for success, as God defines it 

James exhorts us that we do not have because we do not ask, and when we ask and don't receive, it is because we have asked with wrong motives, that we may spend what we receive on our own pleasures (James 4:2-3). Two important things are evident here. First, God expects us to pray for His blessing upon our labors. It is not wrong to ask God to prosper you in your vocation. He promises to bless those who seek Him and to prosper the work of their hands. Second, God will not grant success if you are not seeking it for His glory. If your goal is self-advancement, you have no right to expect divine favor in your pursuits. But if you desire to do well in order to glorify God and serve the ends of advancing His kingdom, He will grant you success. One important caveat, though: success must be defined in God's terms, which are not necessarily linked to your material prosperity. When asking God to bless your labors, and prosper you in your vocation, you must be careful to submit your will to the divine will. It may be that God purposes to put you through a lean time, in order to strengthen your faith and increase your dependence upon Him. Remember that God does not define success as the world does, merely in terms of increasing in earthly possessions, wealth, or prestige. God defines success as that which most glorifies Him and serves the purposes of His kingdom. Spurgeon challenges us:

"Faith bids you seek help from God as to the success of your daily calling. Know ye not what David says, 'Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.' It is a most pleasant thing to be able by faith to consult the holy oracle about everything, whether it arises in trade, or in the family, or in the church. We may say with Abraham's servant, 'O Lord, I pray thee send me good speed this day.' You may expect success if you thus seek it: and peradventure some of you would have prospered more if you had more believingly sought the Lord. I say 'peradventure,' because God does not always prosper even his own people in outward things, since it is sometimes better for their souls that they should be in adversity, and then the highest prosperity is a want of prosperity. Faith quiets the heart in this matter by enabling us to leave results in the hand of God."

Pray for fellowship and support

One final area for which a believer can and should pray in relation to his daily pursuits is God's provision of friends and associates who will help, support, encourage, inspire and challenge him. God has created us as social beings, and the encouragement of friends is a great help to the soul. Yet, as all things are under the providential care and governance of God, it is important to commit this aspect of our vocations to Him in prayer as well. Ask Him to raise up fellow-believers around you, that you may lift up and support one another. Ask Him to make you a light among your co-workers, that some may even be drawn to Christ by your humble and godly example. Ask Him to surround you with sound advisors, and those who are endowed with gifts and abilities that complement yours. Ask Him to keep you from evil company, and those who would lead you into sin. Take hold of this promise: "In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path" (Prov. 3:6). Here are Spurgeon's comments:

"Faith acts also in reference to our surroundings. We are all very much influenced by those about us. God can raise us up friends who will be eminently helpful to us, and we may pray him to do so: he can put us into a circle of society in which we shall find much assistance in this life's affairs, and also in our progress towards heaven; and concerning this we know that 'The steps of a good man are ordered of the Lord.' Faith will keep you clear of evil company, and constrain you to seek the society of the excellent of this earth, and thus it will colour your whole life. If there be no friends to help him, the believer's dependence is so fixed upon God, that he goes forward in cheerful confidence knowing that the Lord alone is sufficient for him; yet, if he be encouraged and assisted by friends, he looks upon it as God's doing, as much as when David was strengthened by those who came to him in the cave."

Imitate your Savior, who was a man of prayer

Spurgeon closes the section of his discourse on the necessity of prayer in the workplace with an exhortation to follow the example of our Lord Jesus, and we will give him the last word on this subject:

"Do you say, We see the connection of this with faith, but how with faith upon the Son of God who loved us and gave himself for us? I answer,-Our Saviour as the object of our faith is also the object of our imitation, and you know, brethren, how in all things he rested upon God. Whenever he undertook a great enterprise you find him spending a night in prayer. If anybody could have dispensed with prayer it was our Lord Jesus; if any man that ever lived could have found his own way without heavenly guidance it was Christ the Son of God. If then he was as much in prayer and exercised faith in the great Father, much more should you and I bring everything before God. We should live in the flesh expecting that the Lord Jesus will be with us even to the end, and that we shall be upheld and comforted by his sympathetic love and tenderness. Faith enables us to follow Jesus as the great Shepherd of the sheep, and to expect to be led in a right way, and daily upheld and sustained until the Redeemer shall come to receive us unto himself."

Before we get to the topic: Lets summarize the parts 1 and 2 : and here we do:

1. Impossible = not easy = Hard.. and its because - Impossible = thing that's hard + that needs and waits for evidence - before we start

2. Impossible =Impossible, because Impossible = past ..

   To Move on - we need to make a new start. But all we know - is the past.

SO, here we are : knowing that we cant do what we did in the past:

1. We know we need to start. But to start -> we have to know where we are headed ( if you don't know where you want to go, any road will take you there).
   

2. From, 1 and 2 - above -> we know we need an end point. + a map.
   

3. STOP. YOU are wrong.

WAIT. Where are you headed is fine.. BUT WHY are you headed?

Time for a Quiz:

1. Go somewhere - because - There = Not HERE

2. Go There --> And See - if there = better than here?

3. Go there -> because is may be challenging

Analysis:

1. If you answered [1] -> I think you got me confused with the Club Med? perhaps?

2. If you answered [2] -> Which ad did you see ? - Let me know, I am into content too.

3. If you answered [3] --> Make sure you got your Scuba gear ready.

IF you didn't find the reason in [1] , [2], [3] above -> then read on:

Stop  reading the Blog -> what you read anywhere - including here - are just my thoughts and opinions.

You need to see inside yourself.

Free yourself - from YOU.

That's the most impossible  - and challenging thing mankind could ever do..

Its not the past that has to change. Past = History. History cant change.

But: Can you? Will you ?

Will you do the impossible?

Free - you - from YOU

Please send your comments

Cheers

Olga Lednichenko

Wandering about this evening... well, in a few minutes. I was sidetracked a bit in the RL with the political goings-on of the day but decided to kick back and see what I can find. Wanderlust... truly love that word. Totally describes this new persona of mine in the SL. I want to see and explore rather than plant roots like I have done previously. It seems like every time that I planted myself, I developed root rot or some other malady that could never seem to be cured except by uprooting.

Will I root again? Who knows... we'll all just have to wait and see. Enough words for now, time to walkabout the SL for a bit!

However, how do you know where to draw the line between "secular" concepts and "Christian" concepts? Although I personally highly recommend changing verbiage - I don't think there is a difference.

Now that you are thinking I've lost my mind, let me explain.

My faith tells me that God created everything. I base that on the foundation of God's Word (the Bible).  Therefore, any secular or Christian concept has it's roots in God's Creation.

Now, as sinners, we have perverted some of God's Creation. We rebel against God and choose to turn our backs. In fact, some choose to take God's wonders and twist them in such a way that they pervert Truth and replace it with deception. Something that sounds "sweet" to our ears may be a distortion of God's perfection that will lead us on an incorrect path.

Does that make the "original" bad? Does that make the concept's roots wrong? I don't think so. I think we need to dig deeper into something that sounds "pleasant" and seek to discern God in it. [Note to the extremists - GET OVER IT! I'm not talking about digging into that which is obviously, blatantly sin!!!]

God speaks to us through His holy and inerrant Word. He guides us each and every day through the Holy Spirit. We need to be studying the Word and listening to the Spirit (and testing what we "hear" with the Word).

To hopefully connect the dots, I'd like to once again suggest that all pastors, leaders and lay people stop to check out Good to Great. In fact, I'd also suggest (especially for the lay people) that you check out Chip Ingram's book, Good to Great in God's Eyes. Believe it or not, his inspiration for the book was Collins' work!

I think you will walk away with some great insights you can apply to your ministry and life!

Yours in Christ,

Marty

Before I tell you this dream, I want you open your understanding to how God works in someone’s life so that you will be prepared for your experience.

Ok, now the dream. I wouldn’t want you getting to impatient, now would I? My dream took place outside of some type of school building. It greatly resembled one that I use to live close to many years ago in Florida, USA. A three floor building enclosed structure to be exact.

For some reason (which didn’t seem important), a group of young people and myself were sitting on some bleachers outside of the building either listening to someone talk or enjoying the fellowship of each other. I remember seeing one of my relatives.

When it the event was over, everyone started leaving together in the general direction around the perimeter of the building. I was one of the last to leave, and as I was making my way towards the exit, my cell phone rang. Upon answering I realized that it was one of my friends who told me that they had left their phone at the bleachers and asked if I could go get it.

So I went back to the bleachers to retrieve the item, and was I shocked to see the whole bleachers filled with wallets, cell phones, and other personals. While getting my things, a young lady walked up and commented on how she wished she could care as much as I did.

Then I woke up.

Just like King Nebuchadnezzar in Daniel 2, I wanted to understand exactly what the dreamed meant. It just felt like it was so important to know.

So I brought it up with my mother, who listened until I was done. She was talking to God as I spoke and she gave me the meaning after a few seconds:

‘Your job is to bring people back to their valuables to help them remember what is most important in life.’

In awe, I have worked to digest this explanation and understand what the Lord has in store for my life.

What is the most important thing in your life? What is the Lord leading you? Whatever it is, don’t forsake the dream!

Here is the entire post:

Here's what they say to you when you graduate: "What are you going to do now?"

And here's what they say to you when you're about to leave on vacation: "Where are you going?"

In marketing (and thus, in life) it might be a lot more important to know, "How are you going to do the next thing?" or "How are you going to do your vacation?"

Direction is drilled into us. Picking the right direction is critical. If you don't know the right direction, sit tight until you figure it out.

The hyperactive have trouble with this advice. So they flit like a

hummingbird, dashing this way and that, trying this tactic or

that strategy until something works big, then they run with it.

What we're seeing, again and again, is that both of these strategies rarely work.

Organizations that sit tight tend to get very comfortable with sitting, and they don't move when they need to move.

They want proof that the direction is the right direction, they study it, consider it, test it, and the next thing you know, they are fourth in a three-person market.

Organizations (and leaders, and followers) that flit have a similar problem.

They're so good at flitting, so happy with it, that they continue to flit even when a decent path shows up.

No direction is perfect, so we play with a strategy for a while, but you know what, flitting is more fun, so we go back to that.

The alternative is to do your best to pick a direction (hopefully an unusual one, hopefully one you have resources to complete, hopefully one you can do authentically and hopefully one you enjoy) and then do it. Loudly. With patience and passion. (Loud doesn't mean boorish. Loud means proud and joyful and with confidence.)

No flitting, no waiting for proof. Just consistent, overwhelming performance in pursuit of a vision you believe in. That's far more important than which direction you chose in the first place. And yes, I think it's a marketing decision, because the market embraces 'how.'

Cheers

Olga

At first sight the veneer of my existence seems polished as can be. Beneath however is a tumultous flux of ferocious fury through which my being wades. I'm attracting mates like moths to the flame of my core, ticking off bull terriers in over-boarded carriages of transport, scrounging for meals in the corridors of philosphers, wearing merry masks in the playhouse of paradise whilst struggling incessantly for my very survival on this plane of existence.

I walk a lonely road; of principles unbending and patterns ever yeilding. This road I walk causes many a bloody foot and trembling thighs as I walk on adamant as the horizon beckons brazenly. Am I walking in  circles overlapping? or trudging through tragic tears? This phase of my existence on this planet has me clearly confused. On one level I'm actually educating myself in a steady stream of consciousness the likes of which were last observed in kindergarten. On the other hand I'm failing miserably in the mundane melodrama of life; bread-winning which threatens to snuff out the very substance of my dreams.

Whither shall I go? The torpedo of tyranny seems hell-bent on my destruction. If this were to be my epitaph, let it be written in bold "Damn that torpedo! Full speed ahead!"

This feat, like everything we do in life is mostly looking down the road of expectation and making many corrections in pace, distance, and direction until we reach the end - and then find another road to explore. It's fun! It's exciting! I find the challenge more interesting than the end result, because once you have reached the goal, unless you have another one in mind, your exuberance for life kind of deflates, at least mine does. So, I have a new project on the horizon at all times - that keeps me from getting bored - which is a good thing, because even now if I become bored I find myself looking for something to fill the void and it is usually food.

I know, I keep telling you (and myself) that maintaining your goal weight is easy if you just listen to your body and get away from the table when you are satisfied - and that is true, but sometimes there is a voice louder than he one your body is using that says, "you still feel hungry - you need something to fill you up!" That is the voice of doom and disaster and to be quieted at all times - so I keep that voice as quiet as I can by keeping myself busy - thus the Pottery Dog House Dress, the doll making, Toastmasters, judging contests, networking, writing in my blog - and having some quiet time, just meditating - quieting all the chatter in my head so I can be free of worry and concern about myself, my life in general, and maintaining my goal weight.

Gotta go now, the dog house dress is waiting.

Think Thin Thoughts!

Adinear

It cannot possibly be so difficult to just put the roll in the right direction. The world is doomed. Over and out.

I look for direction now.  I'm setting goals and telling myself to take my own damn advice.  "Shoot for the stars," I hear in my head.  "What do you want and when do you want it by and what will you do to achieve that by then?"  Then, I take some more of my own damn advice.  "Don't over-think things.  Take action and let some of it fall into place as it will."  

Where's my North Star?  How do I find it?  Have I already found it, and I just need to follow?  Why do some things seem so clear and others make me feel fuzzy and grey, like a cornered mouse?  Muddled like the Milky Way.

Now that I live about as close to the stars as a person can get on this continent with little around me but the highway and a few neighbors, I take stellar inventory every week.  When I get home from my late shifts, I get out of my car, look upward, listen to the stillness, and watch the show, even when it's zero degrees outside.  In the summer, they tempt me to sit on the deck and admire them rather than going to bed.  The stars haven't won yet, but maybe they will this week, if it's warm and clear and not too late.

Run, Baby, run and don't stop till you're done
Gone, we are gone to the dogs
we've begun where we failed the last time
now we got nothing to hide

We always expect just a little bit more than we get
We always regret just that little bit we never had

Come, Baby, come just a little bit closer
Where are you from, that you hesitate now?
as the edge is apparent:
jump or be stuck forever

Run, Baby, run, you're the first in the row
Stunned, they are stunned, because none of them knows
How you got something from nothing
now is not the time to hide

We always expect just a little bit more than we get
We always regret just that little bit we never had

Sleep, Baby, sleep, you have come to the aim
They way will go on, but never be the same
You got something from nothing
It's yours and will stay forever

It's yours and will stay forever

[VK, 23./24.08.08]

Years ago I sat in my therapist's office and said "I want to be independent; I just don't want to do it alone."  The minute it came out of my mouth we both laughed and I saw him write it in his notebook.  Years later at a talk he was giving regarding relationships, he used that quote which gave the audience a chuckle. 

I was just leaving a long-term marriage and was headed out on my own with two daughters who were not particularly happy with me for making this huge and unwelcome change to their lives.  I didn't know exactly where I was headed except toward independence.  I needed to know I could take care of myself first, and then to be open to a relationship that would feel more equal and alive.  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." That quote of Anais Nin's really said it all for me at that time.  I'd never lived alone or alone with children, except when my husband had been stationed on a ship for several weeks at a time.  I had little confidence that I could support myself and my daughters, but the fear of staying in an unhealthy relationship was greater than the fear of moving towards the unknown but more independent life.   We three girls went through some very rough times but I feel very fortunate to have two beautiful successful daughters to share life with as adults now.

Second Journey -   I want to be independent; I just don't want to do it alone.  I'm at a different stage of my life, in a committed loving relationship and looking toward retirement in a few years.  I want to remain independent, vibrant, life loving and satisfied with what I'm doing with my life.  This time in my life is an opportunity to look at where I've been, what I'm doing now, and how I want to fashion my future so that I can continue to grow, change and appreciate life.  I have to admit that I'm realizing that my reaction to talking about positive change and adjusting to real change are not always met with the same frame of mind or open arms.  But I am determined not to be a dinosaur and I want to keep challenging myself to keep growing and taking chances.  Independent doesn't mean alone, it means being able to make decisions, be happy with myself but also to be interdependent with others for support, friendships, and challenges.  So, see, I can be independent and yet not do it alone. 

Gail Brokaw, MA, CC
http://www.embracethepossibility.org

You CAN create the change you want in your life!

but what's the message?  what are we really getting across?

i have a feeling that the majority of the churches in the Western world have been communicating the importance of belonging, of giving, of many different things.  but what is the main message that we are all trying to get across?  basically, are we hitting or missing the mark?  do we honestly focus on the biggest and most important thing of all, or do we dwell in the small, nitpicky, questionable things that might improve our financial or social lives?

this comes from a message i just heard from Jim Cantelon.  the name may strike a familiar chord as a former pastor, television host of 100 Huntley Street, and currently working in Sub-Saharan Africa with churches there dealing with HIV-AIDS.  the guy has got a lot of credibility and is on the front lines of social justice in the Christian world.

the premise is this: the main point is about what Jesus established as the main point and is reiterated time and time again through Scripture to give us a greater understanding.  the greatest commandment is to love God and love your neighbour as yourself.  as i've written before, this is the foundation of the Christian life and is the necessity above all else.  but i'm not just writing about sitting on your ass and trying to love whoever sits next to you in church, or the guy that walks by with his dog every morning.  yeah, that's important, but it's clearly not the point.

the main point is this: to have a vertical relationship with God based in righteousness, which feeds to a horizontal relationship with humanity based in justice.

as Jim mentioned in his message, the Evangelical community has gotten really good at the vertical relationship, about being able to sing our songs and work on our own devotions, but we've abandoned the horizontal relationship.  likewise, groups like the Mennonites have focused probably too much on the horizontal relationship and not enough on the vertical.  in his words, "it has to be about finding the sweet spot".

in looking at the main point and considering it, one must understand that it calls for more than just giving money to a foreign group, or praying for your church.  a horizontal relationship of justice means that we get outside of our bubble and examine the world we actually live in.  a world that has a very different perception of life than the average Christian in the West.  you've probably read all the statistics, so i won't go there with them, but i do want to throw out the idea that our lives, as much as they are vertically planted, are horizontally immersed.  aka, social justice and the Church or the Christian, need to be working at this together.  social justice should be the heartbeat of the Christian life when we examine our lives with others.

i am blessed to come from a church that has chosen to build into the lives of the widows of our community, the single mothers.  these women are often giving so much of themselves to their children and jobs that they are emotionally and physically drained on a regular basis.  meanwhile, the happily married couple with the three perfect children, and the two perfect jobs, living in the perfect house, going to the perfect church, totally miss the fact that their are people right around them, often more than a few, that could use some genuine care and love from the people that are supposed to have their lives grounded in it.

as the Church in general, and i'm not trying to bash here but just observing, has chosen to focus on the little things like our financial welfare, our need for civility, and potluck lunches, our world around us is suffering and plummeting with minimal to no exposure to the Church and social justice.  what if we started to pay attention and focus our efforts on the HUGE things going on, and the real horizontal relationship we're called to?

the Church has an awesome opportunity to make a huge difference in this world and see the love of God spread throughout, but we're not going to get it out there as we sit around and focus on the petty things that could make our own lives better.  we have to make our lives about others, about the widows and orphans, the ones God has said He deeply cares for.

we have to be so deeply immersed in loving God and loving others that we find ourselves in the "sweet spot", caring about and making a difference in the things that matter to God.

we have to care about social justice as much as we care about our own relationship with God.

we have to love, and do it dangerously.

  Sure, he didn’t know how to touch her good – just fumbling in the dark like a blind cat screaming out in distress – a movement that seemed haphazard and clumsy, almost a pathetic, pointless attempt at tears, of crying out for an attention that they neither deserved nor craved but gleaned from a garnering of sight hazed by lust. Determined, he bit his nails and questioned his own thoughts as he wished her all the best and carried on.

  She paused a moment, her head full of meanings that did not relate to the word ‘sorry’, her heart deceived and lonely and wondering why she was here – she started to believe it should be illegal to deceive an open heart scorched by wounds most deep.

  Who’s to say that they always had to be? He thought that they both could take this love as a simple mistake. He had cried up some storms that had blown away the clouds, and his heart was waiting – thinking that there was still a chance, but all he could honestly see were shadows after this night. The beat of the sun racing, soaring, making him believe that they still had a chance – but alas, it was not meant to be.

  Still within her, she could feel his discomfort. A bitter sweet abduction of her love: stealing her obedient heart with a desire that was purely a dream, but she was the real deal – and he was younger than her – and if she had her say, she would open her arms and say “you have nothing to fear of me.” She would scream from the rooftops that she was “here to protect you from the fangs of this world –“ she smiled as the words flooded her soul.

  Once upon a time he was happy and all he really needed was his bare feet on the ground and he was fine. But now, looking into those eyes, he realised that he needed more; he needed to know what her guess would be – had he lived his life too fast? And he realised as her back arched and he did something right for a change, that she would realise the reason if she ever saw him crying.

 She liked to be the only thing on earth that could make them cry. She was irrefutable and arrogant and could make an offer that they could never refuse; she would be their muse that night...

   Without exception, he thought that this house was cold, that there was just something that was almost half a body, just lost within a hope that this place looked glum and it rained every day, just better than being without her embrace he screamed out no longer wondering on something called ecstasy, that happiness when he didn’t matter anymore –

  “Think I look pretty?” She mused, “look at how I take the make-up off my face – just don’t cheat on me!” her thoughts no-longer smelling like strawberries and cream, but more darkening with a hardened haste to a craving that could never be quenched by water, her thirst so strong –

  He thought he was so terribly lucky, thinking that things to be will be – her temperature, smell – his eyes closed. She had something he could not resist. She made him believe –

  Sitting alone waiting for a suggestion, waiting for someone to tell her so, she acted as if her world had changed and she held on just a minute longer, one more time – she smiled at ease within her being.