Man, I woke up this morning in a cold sweat. I had two crazy dreams last night. The first one was that everyone who had an RSS Feed on this blog wrote in and had a comment, and I had to answer each and every one of them!

Man that is scary huh?

The other dream was more in line with my current lifestyle. I dreamed that I had a huge dumpster placed on my driveway and that I was busy chunking “stuff” into it and cleaning up some of the trash of man that I have collected over the years. That I was actually in control and was being allowed to throw something around here into the trash and, God Forbid, actually getting rid of it.

Like most Americans … We have far too much stuff.

We have over the years collected all of this garbage, some of it is nice, and some of it cheap and tacky, the absolute best that China Mart has to offer. When I came home from Viet Nam I had a sea bag and that was it, now it would take four Semi’s to move me, and that is a fact. Now all these years later, we are choking on it and I need to figure out a way to get rid of it.

You see, “I am the designated heaver and she is the stuffer.”  That is the pecking order here in Mt. Trashmore America.

One year, we had three, count ‘em, I said … Three … garage sales! I asked her, “Why are we hanging onto this. Baby clothes from her first born male child who is now 41 years old!” and her reply was …. “We might need it someday.”

Shoot me!

Take me out into a field like an old dog, put my head down

and pump one into my head.

Now I know that you are seriously doubting most or all of this, but I swear it is true. She went home to her mothers on a five week vacation and while she was away, I made three trips to the dump and we almost separated over that. One of the worst fights we ever had was because of something I said.

My uncle built this huge pole barn in Logan County.

This thing held three tractors, a combine, five ton wheat truck, motorhome, ski boat and all manner of tools. It was BIG and he said, “You ever see a pole barn this big Donnie?” and I said, “Nah, this aint all that big, my wife could fill something like this in less than three weeks!”

And I ate Tuna Fish sandwiches for a month.

Not long ago I watched a segment of Dr. Phil on compulsive hoarders and another similar show on Oprah that was basically covering the same problem. It was sad to see how people get so attached to their things, and that their things actually “ruled them” instead of the other way around. Sadly in America our things own us, and we are just the caretaker of items that will eventually be passed on to the next person.

So, that is what I dreamed about last night. Just between me and the fencepost, I liked the first dream the best. More than likely I could actually have done something about that.

000

Related:

• Tuna Fish Sandwiches
• Off The Shelf.

Parting shot: “God Bless America --- A thirty-something woman is never slender enough, a credit limit is never fat enough.”

This story has sat in my drafts folder for a very long time.  I knew it was news worthy but I just don't know what to say.

I do have a tip for Japanese law enforcement:  This guy came forward, faced international ridicule, disgraced himself to his family, etc.  Why don't we just bury this one and forget about it.  Hmm?

Pada hari minggu sepulang berbelanja bersama istri, aku terpikir untuk menulis surat pembaca di detik.com. Dalam beberapa hari terakhir aku memang penasaran dengan produk Coca-Cola yang dijual 5.000-an di sekitar tempatku tinggal, Petukangan. Sehari kemudian suratku dimuat di detik.com. Lebih lengkapnya bisa klik ini.

Keesokan harinya setelah suratku dimuat, pihak Coca-Cola langsung menghubungiku. Mereka mencoba memberi klarifikasi bahwa produk yang aku maksud itu memang produk asli Coca-Cola yang didistribusikan secara resmi. Mereka juga menjelaskan bahwa harga “diskon” tersebut hanya dalam rangka bulan puasa. Sebagai tambahan, mereka juga mempersenjatai penjual dengan surat keterangan dari Badan Pengawas Obat dan Makanan (BPOM), sayangnya aku belum sempat mengecek.

Menerima penjelasan seperti itu tentu saja dalam hati aku tidak puas. Latar belakang akuntansi memang membuatku sedikit skeptis, karena yang ada di otakku hanyalah perhitungan biaya, COGS, dan pricing theory.

Setelah telepon yang pertama, pihak Coca-Cola kembali menghubungiku untuk meminta tolong agar sekiranya aku menulis kembali di detik.com mengenai klarifikasi yang mereka berikan. Karena detik.com adalah situs top 10 di Indonesia yang sudah pasti pembacanya cukup banyak, aku juga tidak mau “aneh-aneh” untuk memperpanjang skeptisku yang tidak berujung. Maka dengan kerendahan hati aku tuliskan keterangan yang diberikan oleh pihak Coca-Cola (lihat). Dan sisanya, akan aku tuangkan dalam blog ini.

Kejanggalan-kejanggalan:

1. Dumping Theory

Dumping adalah salah satu kebijakan penetapan harga yang menggunakan lebih dari satu harga. Artinya perusahaan akan menjual harga lebih mahal/murah di tempat lain. Walaupun dumping mengandung konteks antarnegara, aku pikir masih relevan jika kita kaitkan dengan kasus ini.

Semenjak produk “diskon” tersebut beredar di masyarakat, ternyata aku masih menemukan harga produk Coca-Cola yang “normal” di supermarket. Katakanlah di Giant, Carrefour, Indomaret, Alfa, dll. Kalaupun ada perbedaan, pasti hanya sedikit dan itu karena kesepakatan dengan pihak supermarket.

Hal ini tentu saja menjadi pertanyaan besar bagi kita semua? Terlebih lagi, hal ini tentu akan merugikan pihak supermarket karena konsumen sudah pasti memilih harga yang lebih murah. Toh, tidak ada peraturan bahwa produk Coca-Cola 5.000-an itu hanya untuk orang miskin dan orang kaya tidak boleh membeli. Maka secara bisnis tentu saja hal ini akan berakibat buruk karena menganggu hubungan dengan pihak distributor, yaitu supermarket.

2. Predatory Pricing

Secara sederhana, predatory pricing adalah strategi penetapan harga dengan cara menjual barang/jasa dengan harga sangat murah di bawah harga pasar (bahkan sampai di bawah COGS = rugi), yang tujuannya untuk mengambil pangsa pasar pesaing dan kemudian menaikan harga secara bertahap sambil mempertahankan konsumen.

Industri minuman kaleng termasuk industri yang elastis (informasi dari situs www.coca-colabottling.co.id). Artinya persentase perubahan harga akan mengakibatkan perubahan persentase permintaan yang lebih besar melebihi perubahan harga itu sendiri.

Sekarang coba anda bayangkan saat Coca-Cola menetapkan harganya Rp 5.000 (diskon 44% dari harga normal yang sekitar Rp 9.000). Sudah pasti permintaannya akan jauh melonjak dan lebih besar. Dengan demikian, pasar industri minuman bisa terserap semua ke Coca-Cola. Pesaing yang lain seperti Pepsi tentu saja akan hancur.

Strategi ini sepertinya tidak perlu dilakukan Coca-Cola yang merupakan market leader di pasar Indonesia. Bukan hanya tidak tepat, tetapi bisa merusak citra/imej yang telah Coca-Cola bangun selama ini (akan kita bahas dalam poin selanjutnya).

3. Citra (Price Reflect Quality)

Harga mencerminkan kualitas. Saya yakin kebanyakan orang akan beranggapan bahwa harga yang murah identik dengan kualitas kelas rendah. Jika Coca-Cola menurunkan harga sedemikian drastis, tentu saja pengeluaran mereka di iklan untuk membangun citra/imej menjadi hancur lebur berantakan. Anda pasti kita ingat “Segarnya Mantap, itu Coca-Cola”, atau “Hidup Ala Coca-Cola”

Akupun pertama kali tahu bahwa harganya sedemikian murah sudah langsung beranggapan buruk, bahwa ini tidak mungkin produk legal Coca-Cola. Bisa jadi ini Coca-Cola “odong-odong” seperti produk, makanan, atau minuman yang sering masuk investigasi di Trans TV. Produk hasil penyalahgunaan zat-zat atau bahan-bahan tertentu.

4. Kemana Iklannya?

Saat pihak Coca-Cola mengatakan ‘dalam rangka bulan puasa’, langsung saja aku berpikir, ‘nonsense!’. Tidak mungkin mereka mau mengorbankan biaya yang mereka keluarkan secara cuma-cuma. Memberi kepuasan kepada konsumen? Impossible. Tujuan perusahaan adalah profit, atau lebih tepatnya memaksimalkan kesejahteraan pemilik saham. Sangat sulit diterima jika Coca-Cola mau “beramal” sedemikan baik seperti itu kepada “sebagian” konsumennya. Jangankan menurunkan harga, mengadakan sebuah acara “tidak penting” saja perusahaan pasti menggembar-gemborkan setengah mati di televisi.

5. Cost, cost, and cost!

Sebagai seorang akuntan tentu saja aku memikirkan biaya. Kalau Coca-Cola berani menetapkan harga Rp 5.000 untuk botol besar, jadi berapa COGS mereka? Apakah selama ini margin mereka sedemikian besar? Kenapa mereka tidak menurunkan harga sejak dulu kala? Remember: Elastisitas!

Secara akuntansi saja sudah tidak masuk akal, apalagi kita bercermin dalam kacamata ekonomi, opportunity cost. Oh my…

Sebagai konsumen kita memang harus lebih kritis dan jeli dalam memilih barang/jasa. Kesimpulanku adalah kecil kemungkinan produk Coca-Cola yang dipasarkan dengan harga “diskon” tersebut merupakan resmi melalui jalur distribusi Coca-Cola. Pendapatku yang terburuk adalah produk tersebut sudah kadaluarsa (walaupun saatku coba rasanya masih sama seperti biasa). Kecurigaanku ini didukung oleh fakta banyak dan marak terjadi penjualan produk kadaluarsa di pasar Indonesia saat ini.

Pendapat ini datang dari pribadiku sendiri tanpa ada maksud untuk menjatuhkan Coca-Cola dan tidak lebih lahir dari rasa skeptisme yang diajarkan di kuliah auditing (wahahahaha!!!).

But enough horror stories. If you simply change your oil and filter every 3000 to 5000 miles (or every 3 months, whichever comes first) and check its level regularly, chances are you'll never experience an oil-related problem. For drivers using synthetic oil, intervals as long as 5,000 miles or six months between changes are considered acceptable. Some service centers (usually the ones that will benefit economically) will tell you that extreme driving conditions like stop-and-go traffic or extremely cold weather require more frequent changes. The truth is that every three months or 3,000 miles is pretty extreme. If you aren't driving in stop-and-go traffic, through minus 20-degree blizzards, or up mountain passes with a 5,000 pound trailer, you could probably go longer between changes and there's certainly almost no condition that would warrant even more frequent changes.

O.K., so your oil has been in there for longer than 3,000 miles (maybe a lot longer...) and it's time to do something about it. At this point you basically have two options. You can change it yourself or you can go somewhere to have it changed for you. Which option is better? You may not like this but the correct answer is "That depends."

If your vehicle is an older or vintage model that is easy to work on and if you live in a small town or rural community, changing your own oil is a viable option. It will cost you less than if you paid someone to do it (around ten dollars) and if you have a decent set of tools and/or access to a vehicle lift, the whole process shouldn't take more than 15 minutes. The concept of parking your vehicle in the driveway while oil runs out of it probably won't offend your neighbors or landlord, either. Of course, just living out in the middle of West Texas doesn't excuse you from properly disposing of the oil which, even in West Texas, means you can't go dumping it into the ground. To find out about your local area recycling programs check the phone book or ask around at automotive service centers.

What about the car owner who lives in a downtown New York or Los Angeles apartment, drives a 1997 BMW 7-series, and has never seen the underside of an automobile (except during those rollover crashes on "Wildest Police Videos")? Well, first of all, if you own a late-model Bimmer you should have all maintenance duties covered for four years or 50,000 miles as part of the purchase price. This type of extended service contract is standard on many new cars, which means all these owners have to do is bring the vehicle in for service as scheduled. Obviously you'll want to confirm whether or not you have this type of agreement before running off to the nearest Jiffy Lube.

If you don't have a service agreement that includes oil changes but still would rather leave the job to someone else, there are two service centers that specialize in keeping your oil squeaky-clean. Both Jiffy Lube (jiffylube.com) and Grease Monkey (greasemonkey.net) are national chains that not only change your oil and oil filter but also check and fill your other vital fluids, lubricate the chassis, perform an overall vehicle inspection, vacuum the interior, and even clean the windows. Grease Monkey does all this for $26.99 while Jiffy Lube charges $28.99. I don't know about the rest of you, but not having to wash my own windows is almost worth 30 bucks by itself.

Since it would cost at least 8 to ten dollars for just the oil and filter, plus whatever it costs to top off the washer reservoir, brake fluid, power steering fluid...well, you get the picture. Remember that any automotive service center is capable of changing your oil, but you'll be hard pressed to find one as cheap as either Jiffy Lube or Grease Monkey. And, since this type of work is all these companies do, they've pretty much got it down to a science and can usually perform the entire service in less than 20 minutes (Grease Monkey claims "All In About 10 Minutes.")

So there you have it. Spend ten minutes and 30 dollars every three months or 3,000 miles, and the most vital of vital fluids, plus all the other ones too, is handled. Take it from someone who knows, it's easier and cheaper than replacing a set of rings and bearings.

In return, I shall be very faithful, not nag him too much and cook him good meals although I would like that favour returned every now and again.

Now that at last some Kanpuriya computer and latest laptop dealers have got their hands on the copy of the latest Ubuntu Linux Hardy Heron 8.04.1 - they are beginning to realize the beauty of using non pirated and legal software which works better than other COSTLY and outdated softwares and operating systems.

One of the key requirements for local computer assemblers in Uttar Pradesh, Bihar, Rajasthan, Punjab, Haryana, Gujarat, Madhya Pradesh, Jharkhand, Orissa, West Bengal, Kashmir - is to show to their customers the speed and performance of modern Assembled Computers AS COMPARED to BRANDED computers from Indian and foreign computer manufacturers which often use outdated hardware and motherboards 6 to 18 months older than those available in the assembled market.

To show off to their customers, the sheer fast performance of latest Taiwan motherboards, memory, hard disks and graphics cards, some of the smarter computer dealers have started loading LEGAL and FREE pre installed Ubuntu with OpenOffice suite of applications for Word Processing, Emails, Spreadsheets, Presentations and Graphics. For Rs 100/- they also hand over the 700 MB Live CD of latest version of Ubuntu.

Everyone is happy, the customers as well as computer dealers in Kanpur, Lucknow, Patna, Varanasi, Allahabad, Gorakhpur, Kathmandu, Guwahati, Jaipur, Bhopal, Bikaner, Surat, Raipur, Kolkata, Shillong, are busy giving the most modern assembled computers and Ubuntu operating system with latest version of Free Firefox browser. And cheap, fast broadband Internet from BSNL can be easily installed at just Rs 250 per month. Any better way to learn latest computer softwares that are LEGAL and FREE and available in SOURCE CODE ?

So the Pirates of India and China can now laugh all the way to the bank without doing any software chori - from Kashmir to Kanya Kumari, and from Nagaland to Gujarat.

Time to visit the chardham of legal software - just learn and teach and distribute FREE, LEGAL, OPEN SOURCE software to EVERYONE who needs the LATEST softwares in the world. And yes do not forget to connect the DataOne high speed and fast BSNL Broadband Internet connection for just Rs 250 to your latest and fundoo Ubuntu desktop or laptop computer.

No need to live in dinosaur age of costly desktop, laptop, server and office software or faltoo pirated copies of softwares from last century. Wake up - this is YEAR 2008 and Ubuntu Linux software has arrived in all the villages and cities of India. Time to wake up and get educated in the latest technologies and Free, legal, original, certified AND Open Source softwares.

Take home your own PERSONAL copy of latest and modern softwares in the world - on a 700 MB Ubuntu Linux CD. - एक था राजा एक थी रानी -

ATLANTA, GA - Hurricane Fay is currently dumping rain on the city, and the clouds are hanging over this town like any one of the bad political scandals that seem to surface every other week. I mean, it's gray - grayer than Madonna's underarm hair. Which, for a drought-stricken Georgia, is a good thing.

But it sure don't do much for lightening the mood as I look out my office window and feel a distinct case of the "blahs" coming on. I'm cruising the paper online, searching for some kind of good news, and all I get is war, death, and bad Braves baseball. When did the world become so pessimistic? When did the collective human race decide to flush things like optimism, good humor and grace down the universal toilet?

Oh yeah - right after life got done kicking the crap out of us in high school. Forgot about that.

So, I'm blah. Blue. Vaguely depressed. Sort of underwhelmed by a sub-par day. I hope you don't mind, but as a way of dealing with my depression, I have composed a short poem that addresses the issues. Please, if you're not a poetry fan, bear with this momentary artistic splurge:

Rain.

Falling, spilling, running over everything.

The pitter-pat of tiny drops that echo off my window and remind me that the seconds of the day are ticking by.

Rain.

Man, this sucks.

That's better. I feel my artistic soul has been purged. Feel free to use that poem if you'd like - I'm sure it will come in handy for those of you who are involved in Really Crappy Poetry groups. You can read that right after the lady who always reads from "Where the Sidewalk Ends," which used to be one of my all-time favorite poetry books until I found out Shel Silverstein was a psuedonym for Ann Coulter. After that, all of the poems seemed very angry and anti-people. Just kidding. Everyone knows that Ann Coulter can't write.

Anyway, before I get off into too much negativity, I guess I'll end the blog. If you're like me and suffering through a Monday, Rainy Monday, drop me a comment and let me know how you're coping - or leave your best angry comment. Feel free to vent your pessimism and frustration, sarcasm and anger, all in one pithy little snippet at the bottom of the page. In fact, I welcome it. The best post gets featured tomorrow. So fire away.

As an Indian user of high technology products to interface with my top quality and latest Ubuntu Linux PC Desktop or Laptop Computer from high technology companies - I have started REJECTING those peripherals and those companies which have not bothered to release free and open source Linux drivers for their devices. As with the best printers and high performance graphic cards, it is always best to do some research on whether a foreign company well known for manufacturing and distributing.

Many white goods companies are going ballistic in advertising that they sell a ( High Quality ? ) product to Indian users and in Indian markets EVERY three SECONDS. But do these companies sell products that play well with your Ubuntu Laptop ?

Make sure before you buy. Let them WAIT for THREE HOURS before they sell a product to Indian consumers.

Olympus is one of those companies making small and tiny Digital Voice Recorders - (good for sting operations on Indian politicians who excel in buying Votes for Notes for Civil Nuclear Treaty and solving the power and energy crisis of Indians - hamara nara, ghar ghar mein bijli pahuchana .... )

Unfortunately Olympus has not bothered to release free and open source software drivers for their Digital Voice Recorders. As far as I am concerned Olympus Digital Voice Recorder is USELESS till it makes available free and easily downloadable software drivers to work with my UBUNTU Laptop running on BSNL Broadband Internet.

No point buying rubbish electronic junk and e-waste which DOES NOT work with Ubuntu Linux computers in India. And this will be public service of voluntary nature as Indian Ministry of Communication and Information Technology has hardly any guidelines for disposing electronic and computer junk and how to penalise those foreign companies which sell outdated technologies in India - Litter packaged up as Glitter . So before investing any rupees in more electronic junk and devices, ALWAYS check if it WORKS well with Ubuntu Linux.

Chapter 2

“It was time to dump Jonathon”

So blunt and somewhat cold.  That being said I have also heard some of my friends say the same thing.  Saying you hate the stink of cigarettes even when you do smoke is kind of weird.  Because when you smoke the entirety of your being is covered with the stench of that smoke.  I feel strongly about this, people who smoke indoors and in cars aren’t all that considerate of others.  I was for one year a smoker and I swear my hair took a month to recover afterward.  That and coughing up lots of junk was enough for me to quit.  Amazing self-control huh?

Applying lip liner is something that is beyond my capabilities, so I admire Remy’s ability to do so while discussing how she is going to ditch her current beau.  She’s going to Stanford so she is obviously a bright girl, even on the other side of the duck pond I am able to recognise the effort needed to gain entry there.  The transition from high school to college can be particularly difficult on relationships due to the long distance nature and the influx of new people and experiences.  I am not saying it can’t work, you just need to like/love the person a lot and Remy obviously isn’t all that into poor Jonathon. 

Lissa is the sentimental type, every friendship group has one as they are necessary to remind you that once you were idealistic, hopeful and giving.  They remind you of more innocent times and can catch you in a moment, encouraging you to see its beauty and importance.  The crying though, I could do without.  Lissa is the girl who goes to college with her boyfriend with idealism and will either 1) live happily ever after or 2) be tragically disappointed.  It’s always rough when it’s the latter as these softies never deserve the pain that is inflicted upon them.  I am hoping for happily ever after, doves circling the air and dancing wood creatures.  However, she does ask the all important question – what does one wear to break up?  (I am shockingly reminded of a scene in Forgetting Sarah Marshall in this moment).  Remy chooses something black, slimming and showing some cleavage, her “every night” wear because to her this is truly any other night. I think I already have Remy’s number, her mum is a mess literally and figuratively and her whole existence is about control.  Clean bedroom, boys at her beck and call, organising everything – all ways for her to keep focused, un-rattled.

Jess is described as “solid as a rock”.  I like her already. 

“She’s been my best friend from fifth grade, and was the only one I knew I could always depend on.”

For me that is my sister, which might not count as she is family but she is a reliable gem of wisdom and truth.  And she’ll kick my tush if I am being self-delusional about something which is a valuable friendship trait.  In my mind she looks like my sister already.  The description that follows of Jess though is interestingly worded. 

“She wasn’t fat, exactly, just like she wasn’t fat now.  More just large, big boned, tall and wide.”

Now I see myself.  I am tall with big bones, broad back but I have some fat too.  Usually my friends are all dwarves to my giant height so it makes me even more self-conscious.  It’s like arriving in Lilliput, where all the Lilliputians wear teetering heels.  Being five eleven in a friendship group of five fours is not great for the vertically gifted.  Sure supermodels are tall but I don’t look like a supermodel.  While viewed as mean by her classmates, we know that Jess has had to be uncompromising to cope with what life has thrown at her.  There is no room for frivolity when you are the primary caretaker of siblings, your childhood is gone and so has any room for random acts of foolishness. 

Chloe, I immediately dislike from Jess’ reaction and knowing she’s a person that always runs late, those people infuriate me.  I see myself in Jess too much to think I will like Chloe.  She always has the latest clothes and I will not begrudge her having a mother who shops a lot and has good taste.  I do however not like the “diet” comment to Jess and was not equivalent with Jess’ comment about her new clothes.  Poor form.  There is apparently a line though as Chloe forgoes mentioning Jess’ brothers football gear in her car.  Thank goodness or Chloe would be beyond salvation in my eyes.  Obviously these two are polar opposites.  Jess may be afraid that Remy’s going to leave her behind as the new and exciting world (somewhat depicted in Chloe’s personality) calls. 

Remy, from all accounts, goes through guys like toilet paper.  Lissa has been with the guy she lost her virginity to long term.  Jess avoids the issue all together and Chloe dates college boys that cheat on her. Yep that summarises most of the girls I hang with.  Does that mean Remy is the “loose” one then?

I love the image of The Spot.  A trampoline resting in a lonely field, grass swaying.  A group of girls sitting on the tramp, trading stories and slurping on Zip Cokes (are they a real product?).  And these girls drink alcohol.  I am not going to judge because I wasn’t an angel but here in Australia these girls would be legal anyway.  Rum though, now I feel I have the right to judge.  Yuck.  The more I read about Jess the more I relate, I didn’t abstain completely from alcohol but I was also cautious and the responsible one.  If one of my friends was sick or about to do something stupid and/or dangerous then I was always the clean up crew.  It sucks being the mum of the group and strangely it’s always the bigger girl.  The girl who feels as though she doesn’t belong.  So she needs to make herself useful.  Chloe would only make Jess feel this more so.

The anti-climatic nature of graduating has been depicted well in this passage. It’s a goal for so long that you expect fireworks and yet it’s just another day.  The gin is brought out and I renege on the rum yuck comment and pull out a huge amount of hate for the gin.  It just gets worse but I guess it’s free. For some reason Remy’s comment that –

“This is just in-between time...It goes faster than you think,”

raised a ding-ding in my brain as a pertinent comment.  This may or may not be important later on.

After The Spot they go to Bendo where we see evidence that Remy knows Chloe well enough to correct guess where her ID is stashed – her bra.   That sounds weirder than it actually is, I have stuffed money into my bra numerous times but I find notes a little scratchy.  Actually I have stuffed everything Chloe has, into my bra including bobby pins, ouch!  There is only so much change you can get in there though.

The continued sniping between Jess and Chloe is somewhat entertaining but their repeated attempts at one another’s jugulars might get old.  Remy is going to study exactly what I wish I had studied, had I not bowed to pressure from my mother.  I am a little jealous.  Chloe feels dirty after dealing with the bouncer?  Standard, they have that affect on everyone.

Dexter makes a reappearance using what appears to be a line from a romance novel.  Cheesy, so much so I could slap it between two pieces of bread and toast me up a sandwich. Mmm food.  Okay hitting on someone in a seedy bar is just gross and is putting me off my imaginary grilled cheese sandwich.  He’s a walking cliché though –

“Oh God”

“No, it’s Dexter.”

I admit to laughing at that.  Boy has wit.  Then he has the know-how to contribute extra money towards beer, he’s not completely without common sense.  When in doubt, throw out the band card.  Since I know he’s a musician, I know he has a band but really, who hasn’t heard that line before?  We hear the no musician rule for the first time and while it could be considered a throw away excuse to avoid Dexter.  I am thinking it might be true.  Her dad was a musician so it would follow that she would avoid involving herself with someone like him.  I especially think it is amusing when he offers to write her a song, she’s had a HUGE one written about her and while it would normally work, it won’t on her.

Jess is my kind of chick, her interchange with Dexter was so dry that I was beside myself-

“Hi...I’m with them.”

“Well. I’m with them. But I’m not with you.  How is that possible?”

This then leads into his story about how they met.  The delusional qualities of this guy are amazing and endearing in one breath.  He would probably freak me out in person, but there is something engaging and quirky about him.  Very different from the calm and affable Nate, he would hang back while Dexter is all about the chase (at this stage anyway).  The way he just swept aside her dismissals is really entertaining but he would definitely wear me down.

We meet the proprietary Jonathon and upon hearing her problems with him I completely understand her need to dump him.  There is no way I would tolerate that crap either. But then she sleeps with him to sweeten up her rejection of him.  Or was she just carried away with lust?  I don’t know and I don’t get it.  Just as she is about to dump his gross self she discovers the panties and her control in the situation is wiped away.  She’s now the victim, the one to be pitied and Jonathon’s lucky his balls were left alone. 

Upon her return to the girls, she finds that Lissa has been dumped by her long standing, virginity swiping boyfriend because-

“...he needed his freedom because it is summer and high school was over and he didn’t want either of them to miss any opportunities in college.  He wanted to make sure that they...made the most of their lives.”

In one sense he is spot on.  This is a couple that chose to attend college together and probably needed to make decisions solo rather than as one unit.  But if “opportunities” means sleeping with other girls then I am pissed.  This reason for breaking up can make total sense but can also be interpreted as him wanting to score drunken college girls and be a single man.  The important thing is that Lissa is devastated, the difference between Lissa and Remy’s break ups is vast.  Both have been betrayed but their reactions are night and day.  My favourite part is Remy chucking her Zip Coke at Adam, her aim was true and her motivation was ice cold.  Brilliant.  Girlfriends have each other’s backs.

It’s the last passage of this chapter that really gives us the clearest sense of our protagonist.  We already know she can be clinical in her judgements, loyal to her friends, quick to anger, dismissive of men, tolerant of her mother, at ease with her brother but here we see her heart.  That song that she professes to loathe does mean something.  It’s her father, who lulls her to sleep every time she listens to him.

This lullaby is only a few words
A simple run of chords
Quiet here in this spare room
But you can hear it, hear it
Wherever you may go
I will let you down
This lullaby plays on...

_______________________________________________________________________________

A Note from Adele

Thanks for the increase in comments guys, I am loving it.

Thanks to Rachel I am now seeing Dexter more as Seth Cohen rather than Nick Jonas.  Thank goodness.

This Lullaby podcast will be up some time this weekend but I would love someone to suggest an ideal intro song.  Also for some further podcasting self-promotion - GreekSpeak (on ABC Family's Greek) is now up to it's seventh episode and a bonus episode of Three Chicks and a Mic featuring yours truly solo is ready for downloading.  Lastly, I am involved in another podcast on the new JJ Abrams show, Fringe, called Fringe Dwellers.  All of them can be found on iTunes and links are in the navigation bar.  I promise I won't mention them again for awhile.

A British trawler has sparked an international incident after being filmed taking a boatload of endangered fish caught in the Norwegian sector of the North Sea and then dumping the majority overboard in UK waters.

Norwegian government coastguards filmed the crew of the Prolific, a Shetland-based trawler, openly discarding more than 5,000 kg of cod and other dead white fish, or nearly 80% of its catch...

It is illegal to discard fish in Norwegian waters, but boats are forced to do so in European Union waters if they have caught the wrong species of fish or fish that are too small. Last year the EU estimated that between 40% and 60% of all fish caught by trawlers in the North sea is discarded. The practice of dumping is widely recognised as unsustainable but inevitable given the present EU quota system.

Norwegian minister for fisheries and coastal affairs Helga Pedersen, speaking to angry fishing communities in northern Norway who had seen the film, said she would press for review of the EU fishing policy and wanted to ban any boat discarding fish that were caught in Norwegian waters.

This is one of those sleazy practices accepted by commercial trawlers of most nations - for decades.

I grew up with subsistence fishing. I've resented the environmental disaster these creeps commit on an every day basis - my whole life. I sincerely hope they're banned from more than Norwegian waters.

The "foamies" is a term that weight loss surgery post-ops have coined for a very unpleasant thing that can happen if food gets stuck somewhere between swallowing and emptying into your intestines.  I have only had this happen to me twice since surgery and yesterday was one of those times. 

I was eating my usual ham and cheese and decided to roll it up in half of a small tortilla shell.  I think I maybe did not chew well enough, or ate too fast.  Soon, I had some very uncomfortable pain in my chest, and felt like I had to vomit.  This is the gross part, but kind of interesting too - because what happens next does not happen to people who haven't had gastric bypass surgery.....

As you pay homage to the porcelean god, waiting for the inevitable, streams of foam, similar to saliva (foamy stuff) come up your esophagus into your mouth.  It's like vomitting spit, although it just happens, without your stomach contracting or anything.  After this happened for several minutes, I wasn't sure what to do.  I knew I'd feel better if I threw-up whatever was stuck, and it just wasn't happening.  So, for the first time in my life, I thought, I'm going to have to make myself throw-up to get this over with.  Luckily, I must have been just about ready anyway, because just touching my tongue did the trick, and relief was soon mine.

Another very unpleasant thing that happens to some weight loss sugery post-ops (about 50% experience this if they eat incorrectly) is called "dumping".  Dumping occurs if you eat something that has too high of a sugar or fat content.  It causes shaking, cold sweats, sometimes pain, sometimes extreme lethargy, and for some culminates in abdominal cramping and bowel issues.  So far, I think I've had this happen to me twice - both in the first few days after surgery.  I was trying to take the prescribed oral medications, and I think the sugar content of the meds didn't agree with me.  I do read the labels of everything I eat to check the sugar and fat content to avoid this - because you kind of feel like you are dying when you are going through a dumping episode.

So, these problems are the dark side of weight loss surgery.  But, they are avoidable by following the eating rules, and learning to know what your own body likes and dislikes.

Luckily for me, I was feeling great again in about 15 minutes after my foamy attack, and will eat much slower and chew much more next time!

In terms of my e-mails with dating guy #1, I heard from him via e-mail again last night (just a short note), but he still hasn't asked me out.....

Il Tempo

Bringen Sie Emotionalität in Ihre Produkt/- und Unternehmenspräsentation auf HEROLD.at mit einer kurzen Diashow oder einem professionellen Unternehmensvideo:
* Komplett mit Hintergrundmusik und professionellem Sprecher
* Flash-Technologie für maximale Kompatibilität
* Vorteil: Unterscheidung zu Mitbewerb

Ist der Herold damit unter die Videoproduzenten gegangen?

Kaum bzw. jein - heute morgen flatterte mir via Unijobs-Newsletter folgende Job-Ausschreibung rein:

Filmemacher/in für 30 Sek Videospots
Wir suchen Filmemacher/innen welche 30 Sekunden Spots für Kleingewerbe Betriebe in ganz Österreich drehen wollen.

Das interessante daran ist die Menge. Es werden in ganz Österreich über 2000 Spots gedreht werden das heißt, es gibt genug Arbeit für mehrere Leute.

Bezahlung 100 Euro pro Spot
Zusatzgeschäfte siehe unten

Irr' ich mich oder soll mit dem Verweis auf 2000 Spots in ganz Österreich dem ganzen so ein bisserl ein Wettbewerbscharakter angedichtet werden? Um einen Wettbewerb geht es aber ganz und gar nicht - die Videos sollen ja an Herold-Kunden weiter verkauft werden, z.b. an Firmen wie Wallner-Pool und zu einem unbekannten Preis (aber sicher nicht für 100 Euro, ist mein Tipp), die Ausschreibung verlinkt auch direkt auf herold.at/video, wo die Videos als Dienstleistung angeboten werden:

Ihr persönliches Video oder Ihre Diashow können Sie direkt bei Ihrem HEROLD Medienberater anfordern. Bei weiteren Fragen kontaktieren Sie bitte unser Kundenservice unter 02236 401 - 133. Wir stehen Ihnen Montag - Donnerstag (werktags) von 8:00 - 18:00 sowie am Freitag von 08:00 - 15:00 telefonisch zur Verfügung.

Tja - darf man das jetzt auch als Crowdsourcing bezeichnen? Und wie lässt sich das vereinbaren, dass der Herold den Kunden einerseits ein professionelles Unternehmensvideo verspricht, "In weniger als einer Stunde vor Ort produziert", und andererseits ganz klar auf Studierende setzt, die das ganze nicht nur produzieren, sondern natürlich auch eigenes Equipment (bzw. wird das faktisch wohl häufig Equipment der FHs sein) mitbringen sollen. Hier nochmal der Wortlaut der Auschreibung:

Anforderungen

* Studium oder prakt. Erfahrung mit Kamera und Schnitt
* Equipment ist selbst mitzubringen
* Selbstständige Arbeit
* freie Terminwahl
* 1 Stunde drehen nach Shotlist (5-10min Material, nicht mehr) Dreh ohne Ton, Licht, Regie,
* 1 Stunde schneiden von Video (kein Audio)

Beispiel Videos : Link in Browser kopieren
www.herold.at/video

Was ihr benötigt:

* Kamera: 3Chip oder höher
* Stativ
* einfache Schnittsoftware
* Internetzugang für Upload

Genauer Ablauf:

* Registrierung in einem Netzwerk
* Download von Shotlist
* Telefonische Terminvereinbarung mit Betrieb und Besprechung der Shotlist (Räume, Statisten, etc)
* Hinfahrt
* Dreh nach Shotlist Max 1 Stunde.
* Schnitt: Nur Video (Kein Audio)
* Export als Flash Video
* Upload auf Server
* Warten bis Postpro fertig ist
* Download von fertigem Audio File
* Anlegen von Ton.
* Upload von fertigem Film

Wird das Versprechen von einer Stunde denn so einzuhalten sein? Ich hab etwa 10 bis 20 Einstellungen in den Beispielfilmen gezählt, da muss man dann schon zügig und erfahren vorgehen, wenn man die in einer Stunde professionell einfangen will. Kriegen die Studis Ärger, wenn sie länger brauchen? Was ist mit der Zeit die man braucht, um daraus die 10-15 Minuten brauchbares Material zu identifizieren? Haben die Leute beim Herold wiederum genügend Mitarbeiter, um 2000 Shotlists zu schreiben oder wo sollen die herkommen? Und wenn einE StudentIN Hochschul-Equipment verwendet, muss er/sie die 100 Euro für Aufnahme und Schnitt dann mit der FH teilen? Und kriegen die Studierenden Credits? Die Hochschulen?

Hmm. Irgendwie hab ich das Gefühl, hier will einer die Fähigkeiten der Digital Natives für wenig Geld zu seinem Nutzen einsetzen - das wirft einen gewaltigen Fragenkomplex auf rund um das Thema, was Medienarbeit denn noch wert ist wenn die digitale Medienkompetenz in der Bevölkerung immer breiter wird (siehe dazu auch nochmal diese Blogpost von Datenschmutz: Vom Ungleichgewicht medialer Einkommensverhältnisse).

Das auf den ersten Blick einzig Löbliche das mir hier auffällt: Dass die Herold-Leute verstanden haben, dass so ein Film BITTE nicht länger als 30 Sekunden sein darf. Das ist schon mal eine nicht schlechte Erkenntnis.

P.S.: Ach, die Zusatzgeschäfte - wieviel man dann wohl dafür kriegt? Klingt ja hochlukrativ:

Für den Export von mov File oder das Brennen einer DVD für den Betrieb gibt es extra Geld.

EDIT: Nachtragenswert - bei GoTV gibt's laut Twitternews 20 Euro - pro Dreh. Die spinnen alle, die Ausbeuter.