Offered free of charge as a community service by the author and Clarey Rudd, owner of Bank of Books, the transformational series has been a huge success from the start.

“More than sixty people turned out for the first meeting,” Rudd said. “We had a full house and needed to set up chairs out in the parking lot behind the store. We had the meeting under the stars. Everyone was participating and asked lots of questions. They all seemed to enjoy working together toward creating positive change.”

Persons at all levels of the transformative experience are invited to attend one or more of the monthly events. The goal of the workshop is for each participant to learn and/or strengthen the building blocks to his or her own positive transformation.

“By changing ourselves as individuals, and learning how to tap into the higher vibrations of love and peace,” Mehas says, “we can change the collective energies of the world around us. By becoming peace-filled and loving, each one of us can help create a world of peace and love. But we have a lot of work to do, so please come on down and help us.”

The six-month series, which continues on August 21st, will meet on the third Thursday of each month, concluding on December 18th. All events will be held from 7 to 8:30 p.m. at Bank of Books in downtown Ventura.

Tolle’s books, The Power of Now and A New Earth, and Stolen Boy can be found on the shelves at Bank of Books. In celebration of transformation, Clarey Rudd has agreed to offer a 20% discount on all three books. For further information about the series, call 805.643-3154. To learn more about Michael Mehas, go to http://michaelmehas.com.

As I allowed this question in I experienced a release of sorts… a deep sigh, an expanding of all parts of my being… and a calm, subtle emptiness. All at once I experienced something brand new. Arising from somewhere beyond my mind for the first time I can remember… 5 words came. “I want to wake up.”

I want to wake up. I want to experience myself as me, so fully, that my experience becomes a light-tower… As I write about it I am re-experiencing it to some degree, and shivers are running up and down my body. Practices like this inspire me. They take the experience that I am having throughout my day and sink it so fully into my body that I feel whole again. It is very much like a state of remembrance. Through these experiences I remember who I am, what I am wanting, what it feels like to be free from wanting, what I feel like in my essential expression. I taste my deeper dreams and I taste a yearning for my development.. for my personal awakening. I want this for you. The practices that I have studied may or may not be relevant for the creation of that which you most deeply seek in life. Just as I am invited to experience my deeper sense of being-ness through the dance that I call my life… You are invited to join me. I share my practice in tele-conferences regularly, and I share some of the other tools and methodologies in my toolbox in workshops and extensive trainings. Voice your support and interest and we will work together.

Free E-Course Lesson 10

Chapter 4: Me, Myself, and I
Part 1: Knowing Thyself in One Easy Lesson

Join now! Find details about this free E-course at Lesson 1.

Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is! —Anne Frank, Anne Frank’s Diary

♦

I am a divine idea of a loving God, created for a divine purpose, which finds its greatest satisfaction in expression of its uniqueness, in harmony with God’s other divine ideas, which make up the infinite universe. Perhaps the universe produces what is needed in every place, at every time.

All of the millions of tiny needles on a fir tree are necessary for the perfect functioning of the tree. You and I are like those needles — we are right here, right now, because the universe requires it. The difference between us and the fir tree’s needles is that we can choose (a) to follow our inclinations—doing what we love, fulfilling our destiny, and perfecting the universe — or (b) to deny our talents and be diverted from our purpose. —Anonymous

♦

[Knowing who you are] does not even require your realization, since you already are who you are. But without realization, who you are does not shine forth into this world.... You are... like an apparently poor person who does not know he has a bank account with $100 million in it and so his wealth remains an unexpressed potential. —Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

♦

Who am I? What am I? How did I get here? Now that I am here, what should I be doing? No kidding? All that? Can I have a nap first?

These are the kinds of questions most of us ask from time to time — for example,

• During or after a crisis
• During or after a long summer evening at the campsite drinking beer and saying to virtual strangers, “I love ya, man.”
• When we have way too much time on our hands (see also [b])
• When we’re not struggling for survival; that is, when our basic physical needs have been met
• When we’re tired of struggling for survival and we’re wondering if it’s worth it
• When we’re living in a dorm and a lot of us are taking Philosophy 203: The Mind-Body Problem (with a focus on the nature of our mental life in relation to the brain)
• When we’re depressed; when we doubt our value; when we discover that other people’s perceptions of us are less flattering than our own
• When, in short, we find that we’re not who we thought we were, which is just as well, because we’re never who we think we are, and we’re just as likely to be as uncertain today as we were yesterday

As in Chapter 3, however, I’ll put forth a few operational definitions so that we’re all speaking the same language, or nearly so. These definitions will be incomplete but useful answers to the questions

What is the self?

In what sense can you know yourself?

Is it possible to “reinvent” yourself? (Reinvent is the buzzword du jour for “adapt” or “change.” None of these words says precisely what I mean. “Adapting” is passive and gradual. “Changing” is too general. “Reinventing” implies that you’re starting from scratch.

(“Participating in your own creation” or “co-creating yourself” are cumbersome but are more to the point—which is that, when things aren’t going well, or when what has worked for you in the past doesn’t work any more, you can either change your approach or rant about the unfairness of everything. “Participating in your own creation” conveys both intention and acceptance of an essential, divinely created self.)

There are tomes dealing with each of these concepts. Take self-knowledge, for example. Most would agree that since the self is never static, it can never be known. By the time you figure out who you are, you’re someone else. *

I have only a casual observer’s understanding of Buddhist ideas about the amorphous self—personal identity without boundaries. But Buddhists don’t want everybody to walk around bumping into things all the time. The Buddha himself emerged from his transformative meditation believing in the “Middle Way” between an ascetic life and a worldly one. To learn more about what I call “practical Buddhism,” which I hope is not an oxymoron or an offense to actual Buddhists, I highly recommend the book The Joy of Living, by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche (Harmony Books, 2007).  

Let’s assume for the moment that it’s possible to have a working knowledge of ourselves through information gained from three sources: (a) self-observation, (b) a more-or-less accurate understanding of others’ perceptions of us, and (c) revelation (or, if you prefer, intuition). Now consider the story of my friend Carrie, a widow, who had an electrical problem.

Who is Carrie: Tramp, chemist, pathetic widow?

Several aspects of Carrie’s surface identity are easy to describe: She is

• a widow
• a charming woman with a firm handshake and a good memory for names. When she says, “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she means it. She asks friendly questions about your family, your work, your beer-bottle-cap collection. If you rebuild transmissions for a living, Carrie can’t think of anything more fascinating. “Now, how is it that my automatic transmission knows when it’s time to shift into overdrive?” she wants to know.
• a neatnik. Carrie is one of those people who dust beneath and behind the sofa daily. She can see bacteria and viruses with the naked eye. Hospital sterilization personnel salute her as she walks by. They name autoclaves after her.
• not an electrician. Carrie doesn’t know an amp from an alligator. She breaks out in hives when she has to change a light bulb.

Thus, when the electrical outlet next to her bed stopped functioning, Carrie called in a professional. Al the electrician would arrive at 8 a.m. the next morning, Carrie was assured.

In the perverse way of such professionals, Al arrived at 7:15. Carrie was discomfited because, though she was dressed and halfway through her second cup of coffee, and though her little house was always spick and span, she hadn’t yet made her bed.

She greeted Al at the door, offered him coffee (which he declined), and ushered him into the bedroom. The electrical outlet was situated near the floor between Carrie’s bed and her nightstand. There were four items neatly arranged on the nightstand: an alarm clock, a lamp, a book, and a jar labeled (in letters that, to Carrie’s horrified eyes, appeared at least two feet tall) “Sexual Enhancement Cream.” As Carrie told me later that day,

Al was here for half an hour, fooling with that electrical outlet, reaching over the table checking this and that, at one point even elbowing the jar aside; and he's talking to me, explaining electrical things, and I don't remember a word he said because I was trying so hard to be nonchalant, while this jar, before my very eyes, is inflating to four or five times its original size and also changing from white to neon orange with flashing purple letters, and an actual human voice, like at a carnival, is shouting "Sexual Enhancement Cream! Getcher Sexual Enhancement Cream here, on Carrie’s nightstand, next to her unmade bed!"

Carrie used the word mortified several times. She could have said embarrassed or humiliated. Mortified, really, is overkill, so to speak. Mortify enters the English language from the French mortifier, which in turn comes from the Latin mortificare: “to put someone to death.”

But there is a sense — a poetic sense — in which Carrie was indeed “put to death” during that excruciating half-hour and for a while afterward. Carrie’s “death” is, of course, metaphorical.

The self she knew, the tidy widow, mortified
By nothing but a jar, was stricken, died,
And what was resurrected wasn’t she at all,
But something hard, dispassionate; so small
And wretched, so pathetic, it seemed barely worth
Its rations—water, air, a bit of earth.

During that excruciating half-hour, Carrie saw herself as she imagined Al must have seen her. Since Al had given no sign of having even noticed the jar (“but he couldn’t possibly have missed it!”), her imagination ran wild. In Al’s eyes, she was (a) an oversexed spinster, (b) a brazen hussy, or (c) a purveyor of phone pornography.

I suggested (d) a chemist, and anyway, (e) why did she care what Al thought? But for some reason, in Carrie’s mind, Al’s perception of her had become more important than her own, which, it appeared, was a little on the fuzzy side. “Widowhood” was still a strange and shadowy place for Carrie. Her identity as “Phil’s wife” had been well defined. Without Phil, she wasn’t sure who she was.

_______________ 

* My research on the physics of observing and understanding a system (in this case, the self) when you, the observer, are embedded within the system, came to an abrupt halt when I learned that it would involve “fractals,” which—being statistically self-similar to their substructures and, further, generated by an infinitely recursive process—are clearly wicked, and possibly radioactive as well, and should be avoided at all cost.

Lesson 10.1: Assignment
How 'Conscious' Are You?

Eckhart Tolle writes in A New Earth that "nothing you can know about you is you." We are not our titles or our roles. When my children were still living at home, I was so enmeshed in the role of "motherhood" that I became very ill when my youngest left the nest.

Meditation is one way to encounter your "essential" self—the you that isn't plastered over with ego: roles, ambitions, relationships, other people's perceptions, even your own measurement of your worth. Tolle calls these things "content... the inner and outer circumstances of your life, your past and your future [as well as] ... events." The more you identify with "the inner space of consciousness"—which, unlike content, is not transient—the less likely you are to be buffeted about by emotions and the freer you are to live poetically.

If you are young and competent, you probably have experienced little tragedy and you are confident of your ability to manage your life. I remember thinking, from time to time, that I "couldn't bear it" if "X" happened, and I would do everything in my power to prevent it. And then "X" happened anyway (my first big "X" was the death of my mother at age 62), and I suffered, and survived, and grew in compassion. Since then, there have been lots of "X's," and there is little left to be afraid of, and much to celebrate.

Your assignment is to answer the following questions in a paragraph or two (about fifty words):

What makes you unhappy or afraid? What do you have or do that, if you couldn't have it or do it, would seriously disrupt your sense of self?

It's important to be honest here. This is the first step in "knowing thyself." I will not ask you to send me this assignment, but it is important to write down your answers and save them for use later in this course.

Next: Chapter 4, Part 2: Your Self Is Irrepressible

Δεν γνωρίζω ποιό θέμα ακριβώς θα ακούσουμε - στο youtube παρακάτω πρόκειται για το Being Yourself...

Να δούμε πόσο πιό spiritual θα γίνω...

• De onde surgiu a Idéia?
• Parte I
• Parte II

O VÍCIO E A BUSCA DA PLENITUDE

Por que nos viciamos na outra pessoa?

O desejo de ter um relacionamento amoroso é universal porque as pessoas acreditam que a paixão, o "amor", pode libertá-las do medo, da necessidade e do vazio que fazem parte da condição humana em seu estado de pecado e não iluminação. Existe uma dimensão física e outra psicológica para esse estado.

No nível físico, é obvio que não somos um todo, nem jamais seremos. Cada um de nós é homem ou mulher, o que vale dizer, uma metade de um todo. Nesse nível, o desejo de ser completo, de retornar à unidade, se manifesta através de atração entre homem e mulher. É um impulso quase irresistível de união com a polaridade oposta de energia. A raiz deste impulso físico é espiritual, porque nele está o desejo ardente d o fim de uma dualidade, de um retorno ao estado de completude. A união sexual é o mais perto que podemos desse estado no nível físico. Essa é a razão pela qual ela é a experiência mais satisfatória que o reino físico pode nos oferecer. Mas a união sexual não de um lampejo breve de plenitude, um instante abençoado.  Enquanto ela for inconscientemente vista como um meio de salvação, você a verá como o fim da dualidade no nível da forma, um lugar onde ela não pode ser encontrada. Você teve um lampejo do paraíso, mas não pode ficar ali e se percebe, de novo, em um corpo separado.

No nível psicológico, a sensação de falta, de não estar completo, é até maior do que no nível físico. Enquanto houver uma identificação com a mente, o sentido do eu interior é dado pelas coisas externas. Isso significa que você extrai o sentido de quem você é de coisas que não têm nada a ver com quem você realmente é, com o seu papel na sociedade, suas propriedades, sua aparência externa, seus sucessos e fracassos, seus sistemas de crenças etc. Esse eu interior falso, o ego construído pela mente, sente-se vulnerável, inseguro e está sempre em busca de coisas novas com as quais se identificar, para obter a sensação de que ele existe. Mas nada é suficiente paralhe dar uma satisfação duradoura. O medo permanece. A sensação de falta e de necessidade permanecem.

Então acontece aquele relacionamento especial. Parece ser a resposta para todos os problemas do ego, parece preencher todas as nossas necessidades. Todas aquelas outras coisas das quais você tinha extraído o sentido do eu interior se tornam relativamente insignificantes. Você agora tem um ponto focal que substitui todos os outros, que da sentido à sua vida e até define a sua identidade: a pessoa por quem você se "apaixonou". Você não é mais um fragmento isolado em um mundo insensível. Seu mundo agora tem um centro, a pessoa amada. O fato de que o centro está fora de você - e, portanto, você ainda tem um sentido de eu interior derivado das coisas externas - parece não importar muito num primeiro momento. O que importa é que aquelas sensações de medo, falta, vazio e insatisfação não estão mais presentes. Ou será que estão? Será que elas desapareceram ou continuam a existir por baixo da aparente felicidade?

Se em seus relacionamentos você vivenciou tanto o "amor" quando o seu oposto, então é provável que você esteja confundindo o apego do ego e a dependência com amor. Não se pode amar alguém em um momento e atacar essa pessoa no momento seguinte. O verdadeiro amor não tem oposto. Se o seu "amor" tem oposto, então não é amor, mas uma grande necessidade do ego de obter um sentido mais profundo e mais completo do eu interior, uma necessidade que a outra pessoa preenche temporariamente. É uma forma de substituição que o ego encontrou e, por um curto período, ela parece ser mesmo a salvação.

Chega então um momento em que o outro passa a se comportar de um modo que deixa de preencher as nossas necessidades, ou melhor, as necessidades do nosso ego. As sensações de medo, sofrimento e falta, que estavam encobertas pelo "relacionamento amoroso", voltam a aparecer. Como acontece com qualquer vício, ficamos muito bem enquanto a droga está disponível, mas chega um momento em que a droga não funciona mais. Quando essas dolorosas sensações de medo reaparecem, nós as sentimos mais fortes do que antes e passamos a ver o outro como a causa de todas essas sensações. Isso significa que estamos projetando no outro essas sensações, por isso nós o agredimos com toda a violência que é a parte do nosso sofrimento. Essa agressão pode despertar o sofrimento do outro, que é induzido a contra-atacar. Nesse ponto, o ego ainda está, inconscientemente, esperando que a agressão ou a tentativa de manipulação seja suficiente para levar o outro a mudar o comportamento, de forma que possa usá-lo, de novo, para encobrir seu sofrimento.

Todo vício surge de uma recusa inconsciente de encararmos nossos próprios sofrimentos. Todo vício começa no sofrimento e termina nele. Qualquer que seja o vício - álcool, comida, drogas legais ou ilegais, ou mesmo uma pessoa -, ele é um meio que usamos para encobrir o sofrimento. Essa é a razão por que, passada a euforia inicial, existe tanta infelicidade, tanto sofrimento nos relacionamentos íntimos. Eles não causam o sofrimento e a infelicidade. Eles trazem à superfície o sofrimento e a infelicidade que já estão dentro de nós. Todo vício faz isso. Todo vício chega a um ponto em que já não funciona mais para nós e, então, sentimos o sofrimento mais forte do que nunca.

Essa é uma razão pela qual muitas pessoas estão sempre tentando escapar do momento presente e buscando algum tipo de salvação no futuro. A primeira coisa que devem encontrar, caso focalizem a atenção no Agora, é o próprio sofrimento que carregam, e é isso que mais temem. Se ao menos soubessem como, no Agora, é fácil acessar o poder da presença que dissolve o passado e o sofrimento. Se ao menos soubessem cmo estão perto da própria realidade, como estão perto de Deus.

Evitar se relacionar como uma tentiva de evitar o sofrimento também não é a resposta. O sofrimento está lá, de qualquer jeito. Três relacionamentos infelizes em alguns anos têm mais probabilidade de forçar você a acordar do que três anos em uma deserta ou trancafiado em seu quarto. Mas, se você pudesse colocar uma presença intensa em sua solidão, isso também funcionaria para você.

link to this week's "speaking of faith" with eckhart tolle. he speaks about something he calls the "pain body." i am curious, but also skeptical. inevitable, i am always skeptical of anyone who professes knowledge of how another person's mental landscape is formed and how it changes. i would only speak for myself.

i have been meaning to read "the body in pain" by elaine scarry. since i have just finished the delicious "ship of fools" by katherine ann porter, perhaps i will actually read scarry's book.

not that he looks like he is in pain, but john coplan's self-portraits impressed me immediately as revealing something truthful about the body and consciousness. maybe i was just started because he's old (i hope i am not so obvious.)

i have also

One of the more substantial challenges I have had in my life is the undertaking of creating a personal daily practice.  I wanted to practice yoga every morning, or meditation - something that would ground me.  Frustrated with a lack of personal follow through, I gave up the effort many times.  Something changed for me recently and I am consistently taking time for myself every day.   This is probably one of the best ways that I could spend my time, and often feel really, really good when I complete it.

A couple of things sparked this change.  The first is that I realized the connection between wanting a daily practice and the persona that I was representing as who I am.  Essentially, I wanted to recieve approval from the people I respected, and in order to do this, I was putting on a mask.  "This is who I am..."

I was sitting in Gateways Bookstore reading Byron Katie and the Sedona Method, and walking myself through the practices in each book when it hit me.  I had written 3 categories of people I wanted to impress, and I wrote out the qualities I would like them to see in me.  I remember the shock that I experienced when I realized that the exact opposite of each trait were the primary challenges in my life.  I was missing out on the experience of being loved and accepted for who I truly am for fear of rejection.  Go figure.

Another thing that changed was that working with the Sedona Method I recognized how often my actions are motivated by the basic desire to receive approval.  As of today, by daily practice - which I call the "Integrative Personal Practice" on this site, includes time to reflect on who I truly am, time to reflect on my sense of purpose, time to suss out my goals and release the attachments associated with them, and time to recognize and release other attachments.

The exercises that I use change every day to suit what I am most wanting to experience, but the purpose remains the same.  In essence - the purpose of this practice for me, as of this moment, is to wake up. It is to experience re-memberance.  (the roots of the word rememberance mean to integrate/ the opposite of dismember)  It is to remember who I truly am, and to attune to the larger and deeper aspect of myself... to my fully integrated self.

I quickly realized that I could use my personal practice to create weekend workshop curricula, a coaching style, tools for others, and as a context for learning about the different influences that have shaped my way of coaching.  To this avail, I have created a written document that I pasted below this page.  It is meant to serve as a resource that you can draw from.

If you are a healer, a facilitator, or a coach of some form, then you already know how important it is to show up from a place of wholeness for your clients.  This practice is especially for you.

Integrative Personal Practice for Healers, Coaches, Facilitators

Purpose
• Clarify what it is that you really want, when you are not limiting yourself or playing small
• Learn how it can be easy and effortless to align thoughts and actions with what you really want
• Learn how to easily see what stands in the way, and to clear it

Learning Objectives
(these learning objectives are designed to help the program fulfill its purpose)
• Learn a simple, effective process to quickly tune in to what is most real for you, and align your actions with that sense of knowing
o Move towards knowing who you really are
o Align your sense of purpose and mission with that
o Align your goals and action steps with your sense of purpose and mission
o Learn to easily release resistance in its different forms
o Learn to identify and release attachments in their different forms
o Learn how to work with emotions so they support you in your chosen direction

How to use this practice
• Preparation
o Start out by reading it through and make sure that you understand what it entails.
o Order a copy of “the Sedona method” and “I need your love, is that true” by Byron Katie.
o (Byron Katie’s book can be substituted with a set of downloadable forms on her 5 step inquiry process, available on her website at thework.com)
o OR join me for a conference call training or a coaching session to learn these tools.
• Using the practice
o Next, start out by working with Integrative Practice 1. Work through it, targeting for the amount of time delegated for each item, or choosing to expand upon that time given your availability. Part of the genius of this practice working wonders for me is that it can be done very quickly, and that I am becoming more adept at using the tools by giving it 20 minutes a day.
o After a week or two of working with the base practice, consider expanding its scope by replacing the “work” section with some of the alternatives below. If you run into challenges or questions with it, let me know. I am available to support you.

Preperation for the practice
• Letting go of resistance
• Identifying and releasing the basic wants
o Control
o Security
o Validation
• Letting go of likes and dislikes

Integrative Practice 1
Grounding
• Plieadian Grounding 2m
• Yoga 2m
• Chi Gung 2m
Opening
• Dedication 2m
• Invocation 2m
“The work”
Alignment Practice 1 (answer the following questions, follow the prompts)
• Who are you? 2m
• As of this moment, what is your purpose? 1m
• As of this moment, what is your mission? 1m
• As of this moment, what are 2-3 goals you are interested in working on?
o List them 2m
o Clear any attachments associated with them 2m
• What are some action steps that you could take to move forward regarding these goals?
o Brainstorm them - 2m
o Select some to take - 2m
o Clear any attachments associated with them - 2m
o You are complete

Alternative themes for "the work" (expanding the scope of the practice)
Invocation 2
Preparation
• Clarify what you are interested in calling forth in your life in each of the following areas
o Essence (the expression of my essential nature)
o Purpose (awareness of and alignment with my sense of purpose)
o Self Care (How I treat myself)
o Right Livelihood (the work I do in the world)
o Aliveness and Connection
o Support (where I get my sense of support from and how consistent it is)
o Travel
o Training
o Relationship
• You can use your own list, and customize this list to suit you.
• For this practice, it is essential that you imagine you have no limitations, and that you dream big. Emphasize realization, insight, and ways of being in the world as opposed to circumstances… because the circumstances that you believe will support you in living this kind of life will change, and may or may not actually be what provides your fulfillment when the cards are on the table.
• When you write your statements, write them in the present, as if they are your experience now, and write them so that they facilitate release. (Eg I easily allow myself to experience loving and caring for myself with care and compassion)
The practice
• Move through your invocation list and read them out loud. Clear any attachments or false beliefs before moving on.

Clearing 1
Preparation
• Complete Invocation 2
• Create Goals that are symbolic for moving in that direction
The Practice
• Move through any of your written goals and clear any attachments to completing them.
• Notice the thoughts that come up, and inquire to see if they are true.
• For your inquiry, use Byron Katie’s 4 steps

Spot Clearing 1
Outline
• Control
• Security
• Approval
• Resistance
Preperation:
• once you have done some work with identifying which of the basic wants you are experiencing in relation to living your purpose, creating your goals, and whatever else your clearing on, this practice will support you in doing quick work.
The Practice:
• Start with control, ask yourself what one thing is you are wanting to control, and release the attachment. Go to the next item on the list. One way in which you are seeking security, one way or from one person you are seeking approval, one area of my life in the moment that I am resisting, or one place in the past or anticipation of the future you are resisting. Each time, notice the want and release the attachment. Bounce through them with quick releases until you feel complete.
o

FAQ
What is an integrative Coaching Practice
• In my world, an integrative coaching practice is a platform for bringing myself into alignment with what I am really wanting. It supports me in taking a bottom up approach to how I show up in the world.

What is a bottom up approach and why is it important?
• Through trial and error I tried to set goals without learning how to work with my attachments to the outcomes, and I asked for accountability and found myself falling short. In learning this approach, I have deepened my inquiry, looking first at coming into clarity about who I am, what I hold as my deepest realizations, and how I can live in accordance to them. Trying to create change from the top down was like swimming upriver. Through this practice I am learning to embrace what is, and to embrace the obstacles that stand before me, as well as to release them. I am learning to allow change to be effortless, and to root myself more fully into the present in this practice.

How do I identify and clear my attachments?
• If you are not experienced and comfortable identifying attachments and letting them go, either pick up a copy of the book "the Sedona method" and work the practices, or ask me for help with this.

How do I identify and clear my false beliefs?
• If you are not comfortable identifying beliefs and inquiring into their truth, either pick up the book "I need your love, is that true" and work the practice in the back of the book, check out Byron Katie’s website and downloadable forms, or ask me to help you with this.

How do I handle old memories that come up, or really deep pain that comes up, while clearing?
• These situations represent doorways. To step through is to open yourself more fully to what is, and there are practices that are designed to support this that will be outlined in future trainings. A great guide to one of them is the book “The Journey” by Brandon Bays

What is the purpose of the grounding portion and can I customize it to suit my style?
• This portion is designed to support me in rooting deeply into the earth and into my body. If you prefer to dance, to stretch, or to meditate to ground yourself, all is well. Make it work for you.

What influenced this practice?
• There were a number of influences, here is a short list. These are all recommended resources for the future cultivation of an integrative coaching practice. The primary influences are in bold.
o The Sedona Method (Releasing Attachments)
o The Work (Byron Katie)
o Co-active Coaching (the book/study)
o Pema Chodron
o The Work that Reconnects (Joanna Macy/ Practices)
o The "Big Mind Technique" (Genpo Roshi, Zen/Gestalt Practices)
o Clearness Committee (Quaker Tradition)
o Hakomi (Body Centered/Somatic Principles)
o The Mankind Project (Diving into Core Material)
o Eckhart Tolle (the power of now)
o Don Miguel Ruiz (the 4 agreements)
o Brandon Bays “The Journey”

If you want a snapshot of additional resources that I provide, here they are.

Integrative Coaching Conference call
• Bi Weekly

Teleclasses
• Teleclass on the development of an integrative personal practice (Tuesdays at 9:30 pdt)

Coaching
• Coaching for Personal Unfoldment and Integrative Personal Practice Development

Opportunities to get involved
• I am creating a curricula for training coaches in an integrative model, which will compliment the co-active coaching model. We need volunteers for curricula development and presentation.

Email me or Call me with any questions/comments/inquiries

"I am one with the limitless intelligence, energy and potential of the universe.

Every thought that I have, every word that I utter and every choice that I make ripples forth through my life, the lives of my loved ones, and the unfolding universe.

Knowing that I have the power to create what I believe,I now affirm my beliefs, releasing them confidently to the universe:

I enjoy affirming my intentions and my gratitude every day.

I enjoy the stillness and peace that come from meditating daily to open a path to greater presence in my life.

I remain aware of the vast empty space in which all objects temporarily rest, the complete silence onto which all sounds are briefly projected,the calm presence surrounding every fleeting thought,and the universal life force that energizes my body.

I accept, enjoy or enthusiastically embrace each present moment, drawing energy from the universe, and joyfully participating in my life’s experiences.

I accept the bounty of the universe gratefully and enjoy every gift that flows to me, sharing freely my gifts to benefit others and to create room for all of the blessings that continue to flow into my life.

I am joyful, fearless, full of love and can never feel sorry for myself with all of the good fortune I am blessed with.

I am grateful for all of the beauty in the world that is here for me to enjoy and for my body and its senses that allow me to experience it.

I care for my body, give it my conscious attention and sleep long enough to allow it to miraculously rejuvenate itself every night.

I feel my connection to all persons, creatures and objects in the universe, as the same energy that gives me life, runs through them.

I accept perceived mistakes and shortcomings in myself and others, knowing that the potential for both good and bad is in all of us.

I genuinely care about others but do not take what they say or do personally."

I sometimes wonder if Oprah Winfrey really researches her guests all that well? On the one hand she all not that long ago endorsed The Secret (Byrne) which promised that we could have anything our heart's desired by tethering ourselves to "The Universe" while using what I call the enchanted Law of Attraction. Then before you know it, Winfrey flip flops and brings on Eckhart Tolle who admonishes us to do just the opposite? He explains that we need to let go of material things which is the very thing The Secret promoted! Tolle suggests that our personal evolutions can only be achieved by letting go of our ego's. I can guarentee you that Tolle will never be a guest on Robert Schuller's Hour of Power.

Six months ago "A New Earth" was out in bookstores around the world with a rallying cry to awake to one's life purpose. It provides one with the mumbo jumbo of loosing yourself from thought without trying to understand what you're loosing yourself from. That's original if not totally confusing. Tolle's book is the standard bearer of Pantheism. The rather unusual thing about Tolle's book is how he often quotes Christ yet the meanings he provides for those texts are wrested terribly. "Those who are untaught and unstable (Tolle) twist to their own destuction as they do also the rest of the Scriptures" 2 Pet. 3:16.

Those that are under the sway of Tolle's new book are being led away by New Age philosophy that has caused them to fall from their steadfastness in Christ (2 Peter 3:17), that is, if they had any steadfastness in Christ to begin with! Believers are not to grow in the grace and knowlede of Eckhart Tolle, but in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18).

Oprah Winfrey has for decades been trying to establish that we are gods just as Satan promised Eve in the garden. "You will be like God knowing good and evil" Gen. 3:5. That has always been the ambition of Satan. "I will be like the Most High" Is. 14:14. Tolle's new book is nothing less than promising what Satan had desired can also be ours. "Of the Rock who fathered you, you are unmindful, and have forgotten the God who fathered you" Deut. 32:18, which is exactly the dilemma that Oprah Winfrey finds herself. She rejected God for being a "jealous God" while misconstruing the meaning behind that term.

As for Tolle, "Their rock is not like OUR ROCK" Deut. 32:31. In effect, Tolle mangles the concept of God before our very eyes but makes it appear good to the gullible at heart. One day those that follow the reasoning of Tolle will "awake" saying, "Where are their gods, the rock in which I sought refuge?" Deut. 32:37. What Tolle. Winfrey, and Rolfe alike cannot discern is- "There is no God besides Me" Deut. 32:39. They are all at sea about that marvelous message.

I am sure that nearly everyone has seen "The Church of Oprah Exposed" since she often uses her television program as a bully pulpit for her New Age Movement ideas and concepts. "There are many paths to what you call God,” Oprah says. When someone in her televison audience rebuked that stating that Jesus is the Only way, Oprah poo-pawed that saying, "There couldn't possibly be just one way". Jesus said, "No one comes to the Father except through Me" John 14:6. That statement even gets stronger when you factor in 2 John 9 for if you aren't abiding in the doctrine of Christ you don't have God either! Oprah's eternal exposure could well come at the Great White Throne Judgment if she keeps this up!

The longer that Oprah Winfrey trots out all these New Age Movement marvels of her's her vision of God will be marred and that is regretable. It would seem that Oprah has not discovered that it is not the books of Rolfe or Tolle that means anything but "If you ABIDE IN MY WORD, you are My disciples indeed, and you shall know the truth and the truth will make you free" John 8:31-32. But the stumbling block for Winfrey is that opening and operative word "IF".

• De onde surgiu a Idéia?
• Parte I

RELAÇÃO DE AMOR E ÓDIO

A menos que você acesse a freqüência consciente da presença, todos os seus relacionamentos, principalmente os mais íntimos, vão apresentar defeitos profundos. Durante um tempo, eles podem dar a impressão de serem perfeitos,como quando estamos apaixonados, mas, invariavelmente,essa perfeição aparente acaba destruída por discussões, conflitos, insatisfações e até mesmo por violência física e emocional, que passa a acontecer com uma freqüência cada vez maior. Parece que a maioria dos "relacionamentos amorosos" não leva muito tempo para se tornar uma relação de amor e ódio.

O amor pode se transformar em agressões furiosas, em sentimentos de hostilidade ou, num piscar de olhos, em um completo recuo da afeição. Isso é visto como normal. Os relacionamentos, então, oscilam por um tempo,por alguns meses ou anos, entre as polaridades de "amor" e ódio, e nos trazem muito prazer e muita dor. Não é pouco comum que os casais se tornem viciados nesses ciclos. Esse tipo de drama nos faz sentir vivos. Quando o equilíbrio entre as polaridades negativa e positiva é desfeito e os ciclos negativos e destrutivos acontecem com freqüência e intensidade crescentes, não demora muito para o relacionamento acabar.

Pode parecer que tudo se resolveria se conseguíssemos eliminar os ciclos negativos e destrutivos, permitindo que o relacionamento florecesse sem problemas, mas isso não é possível. As polaridades são mutuamente interdependentes. Não podemos ter uma sem a outra. A positiva já contém dentro de si a negativa, ainda não manifestada. Ambas são, na verdade, aspectos diferentes de um sistema defeituoso. Estou tratando aqui dos chamados relacionamentos românticos, não do verdadeiro amor, que não possuí opositores porque nasce além da mente. O amor como um estado permanente ainda é raro de encontrar, tão raro quanto a consciência nos seres humanos. Entretanto, é possível haver lampejos breves e ilusórios de amor, sempre que existir um espaço no fluxo da mente.

O lado negativo de um relacionamento é mais facilmente reconhecido como um defeito ou anormalidade do que o positivo. E é muito mais fácil reconhecer a fonte da negatividade no parceiro do que vê-la em nós mesmos. Ela pode se manifestar de várias formas, tais como a possessividade, ciúme, controle, ressentimento, insensibilidade e egocentrismo, cobranças emocionais e manipulação, raiva e violência física, necessidade de ter sempre razão, de discutir, criticar, julgar, culpar, agredir, irritar, ou se vingar, inconscientemente, de um sofrimento do passado imposto por um dos pais.

Pelo lado positivo, há uma "paixão" pela outra pessoa. No primeiro momento, esse é um estado altamente gratificante. Sentimos que estamos intensamente vivos. Nossa existência passa a ter um significado porque, de repente, alguém precisa de nós, nos deseja, e nos faz sentir especial. Além disso, provocamos as mesmas sensações no outro, o que faz com que os dois se sintam completos. O sentimento pode se tornar tão intenso que o resto do mundo perde o significado.

Você deve ter percebido que existe uma certa dependência nessa intensidade. Ficamos viciados na outra pessoa, que age sobre nós como uma droga. Quando a droga está disponível, nos sentimos muito bem. Mas a possibilidade, ainda que remota, de que ela não esteja mais ali, disponível para nós, pode levar ao ciúme, à possessividade, a tentativas de manipulação através de chantagem emocional, culpa ou acusações - o que, no fundo, é o medo da perda. Se a outra pessoa nos abandonar mesmo, pode fazer nascer a mais intensa hostilidade,ou um profundo desespero. Em segundos, a ternura amorosa pode dar lugar à agressão selvagem ou a um desgosto terrível. Onde é que está o amor agora? Será que o amor pode se transformar no seu oposto em segundos? Será que era amor de verdade ou um vício, uma dependência?

This past week I was in Hawaii with my dear friend who is making a film about Ram Dass. I was the gofer, the assistant, and the shaper of questions. – certainly a far cry from being in my office in New York City. And because of that I had the privilege to peer into the window to the soul of this wise man.

Ram Dass is about 74 years old. Today he lives in Maui and has suffered a physically debilitating stroke which has not robbed him of wisdom nor wit. He was ready and enthusiastic for his on camera interview. He talked and generously shared his experience. He told stories, many stories, about his life in the 50s and 60s (which bring to mind the characters of the series MadMen!)

Born Richard Alpert to a financially well-off family in Boston he was the youngest of three sons. Richard “had the privilege of studying psychology at Harvard when his two brothers entered more traditional professions. At that time psychology and child development were just beginning to flourish. Prior to the 60s child development was primarily Dr. Spock and Sigmund Freud. The idea of developmental process and interaction was still just the tip of the iceberg. Observation was a tool of journalists, not the scientific study of psychologists. So, in his own words, Richard Alpert entered an exciting field with unknown borders.

Moving on from the end of the Eisenhower years to the turbulence of the 60s Richard Alpert and his peers went out on a limb in their research and in doing so helped to change our minds about the way we view ourselves as a collective community from the 70s forward. Ram Dass stands as a seminal figure of an era.

Although it is well known that Richard Alpert and Timothy Leary (both Harvard professors), along with Aldous Huxley (then a professor at MIT) experimented with mind altering substances that was not what emerged as the central tenets of his message as he became Ram Dass. He looks to the collaborative spirit of life with the compassion and kindness. He urges us to bring balance into our lives, and thereby the world, by not getting caught in our own self-importance and roles.

Sitting in his living room with a hug picture window overlooking the Pacific Ocean where we could see the spherical curve of the earth in the horizon his stories assumed a surreal aspect. The messages and philosophies that Ram Dass brought to western society – after his long studies in India – are now so widely accepted and prevalent that they are now even quoted on Oprah!

I won’t re-cap all of these philosophies for you, but I can break it down to a simple idea which will help to create a more satisfying day to day existence.

It is a necessity for each of us to quiet the chatter in our minds so we can assess each experience as it presents itself. Before just reacting – as perhaps you may have in the past – greet the new experience in its present context.

With this, I’ll leave you with the following quotes for your consideration:

“Each of us finds his unique vehicle for sharing with others his bit of personal wisdom”
Ram Dass, Remember, Be Here Now.

“If you think you are so enlightened” Ram Dass said, “go and spend a week with your parents”. It is often a good test for your ability to live in the present.
Quote from Ram Dass in Echkhart Tolle’s, A New Earth

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For me, and many of the guys present, the conversation was raw, meaningful and relevant; there was substance behind every comment as each person was Present, clear and in the moment. There was “no ego” as we shared intimately but with great respect for each other.

For those not able to join us or watch us live (we had some technical difficulties and now resolved the problem) you missed one of the most intriguing conversations you will ever hear about the human ego from the perspective of Black men in this country. This session could be the follow-up to CNN’s Black in America series for its richness and to dispel stereotypes and misinformation about us.

To set the stage, we played a segment of the conversation between Eckhart Tolle and Oprah to help explain what is the ego? Simply put, the ego of a person is when we identify ourselves with things, content or thoughts and in our minds believe that is who we are.

More, More, More…

This is what marketers want you to believe. The guys talked about giving more of themselves and how you get tapped out. Is it wrong to say "no" to someone you care about? Is it wrong to be selfish? People will take from you as long as you give it and therein lies the struggle for many of us who are not only doing the right thing for our families but for others. Are you being selfish when you say no?

The conversation shifted to how marketers brainwash us into thinking that we need more stuff; bigger, more expensive cars, shinier jewelry, larger house. What they are doing is systematically making us feel bad about ourselves. That is the ego talking. There was a struggle taking place as we discussed the subject of wanting more. As Tolle writes, on page 37, “we cannot really honor things if we use them as a means to self-enhancement…if we try to find ourselves through them”. Further, he goes on to say, “A large part of many people’s lives is consumed with an obsessive preoccupation with things.”

The Journey to Being Ego Free

If we spend time with our children at home, going to a park, having a cookout at a neighbor or friend’s house instead of going to the mall for an entire month, what would be the impact to the U.S. economy? Yet, as the poorest group in the country (in financial terms) we consume the most. The answer is having this insatiable appetite to feed our ego to make us think in our delusional state that we are better because of things that are impermanent and do not last. We don’t need stimulus checks to buy more stuff we do not need. Rather, we need to free ourselves of unconscious thinking, attitudes and behaviors all driven by “ego”.

Busy is great - I wouldn't have it any other way. But Busy can go two ways - you can either let it get the best of you (and end up curled up in the corner in the fetal position for the rest of the day), or you can embrace it.

Feeling overwhelmed? Here are a few tips for overcoming the Busy in your life:

1) Find a partner in crime. I have a business partner. Half of the stuff we get done on a weekly basis wouldn't be possible if we didn't have each other. We both have crazy lives outside of work and crazy deadlines inside of work. We rely on each other immensely during the Busy. Finding someone to split the workload will make you more productive, and ultimately more profitable. Just make sure it's the right person. My partner and I have spent 13 years building a relationship of mutual understanding and respect. It's like a marriage of sorts - we have to work at it. Good partnerships are hard to find - but when they work, they work really well. And it helps tremendously knowing there is someone there to share the load.

2) Make lots of lists. Don't try to keep everything in your head - you will never sleep at night. I can't stress enough how much lists can help you to over come that overwhelmed feeling. I have multiple lists. My calendar, my white board, my BlackBerry, and my notebook all have different lists for different reasons. There's no tried and true way - find a system outside of your mental list that works for you.

3) Delegate delegate delegate. One of the main stresses of the Busy is trying to do too much yourself. If your to do list is getting you down, figure out which tasks you can delegate. The biggest task hubby and I outsourced this year was housecleaning. Sure, it costs a bit, but less than you think. And now, the last thing on my mind is having to clean the bathtub or mop the floor. And that makes it worth every penny. So, figure out where you can outsource. Hire an intern. Ask your spouse or kids to help you. Hire a virtual assistant. Still don't think you can delegate? Read Tim Ferriss' The Four Hour Workweek and your mind will be forever changed.

4) Stay in the Now. Perhaps the most important rule for overcoming Busy is to stay in the present moment. Really, the present moment is all we have. All the to do lists in the world cannot make up for the fact that everything on that list is in the future. And the future ain't here yet. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed thinking of all those things on your list that haven't happened yet, stop. Sit back. Take some deep breaths. Regain your presence in THIS moment. I promise you will not only feel less overwhelmed, you will enjoy the process of the Busy much more. And read Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now, it's life-altering.

At the end of the day, the Busy is good. But managing the Busy is the way to truly get the most out of life and work. How do you manage your Busy?

As I was reading about acceptance, I thought to make a list of the things in my life I am particularly attached to (it seems to me that attachment is one of my obstacles to acceptance). I asked and answered two questions:

What am I attached to?

• The idea that I have substantial value to contribute to the world
• The dream that I will be rewarded financially for that value
• My apartment and living situation
• My sister, my nieces, my mother
• The story of how "perfect" the events were that led me to meet my girlfriend and connect with her as strongly as we have
• The implication that because of the events of that story, it must mean a great future for us as a couple
• My identity as a coach and entrepreneur

If I wasn't attached to these things, what would I do?

• Coach as many people as I can
• Work with other entrepreneurs and business owners testing out creative marketing ideas
• Play with my nieces more
• Do physical work (digging holes, moving heavy things, whatever)

These lists are by no means exhaustive, simply the first few answers that came to me, some of which were quite a surprise! I intend to explore this inquiry more.

We learn in meditation that life is not linear, but circular. In the same way that we try to find meaning in life not only in meditation, but also in many ways like reading books, seeking counsel, and observing nature.

Often times the metaphor of linear and circular outlook in life is not so clear to many who came from the West. Nevertheless, this point of view for many Asians is very much a part of how meditation has been formed and taught.

We all want to feel good. Period.

The thing is, how come it seems that most of us are waiting for something in order to feel good?

Consider this: are you setting up specific conditions or very tight criteria that God/the Universe/Life must meet in order for you to finally allow yourself to feel good, to be at peace, to choose to be happy?

If you have behavioural patterns that can be summarized by the sentence: "If/when _________ happens, only then will I be happy", then you are practicing this dysfunctional behaviour - a practice dubbed by Eckhart Tolle as "long-term waiting" in his seminal book, "The Power of Now". Long-term 'waiters' are people whose happiness and peace of mind are always just around the corner, some time in the future - never in the here and now.

The dysfunction has nothing to do with whatever you are desiring or waiting for. It is perfectly healthy and human to desire to expand, to have new experiences. Indeed, it is wonderful to set worthwhile goals and give everything we have towards achieving them. The dysfunction happens when:

• you mistake your achievements, your status, your job, your abilities, your looks, body, your possessions - with who you are. These things come and go, wither and die. Is this really who you are, in essence?
• you postpone your happiness, when it can only be truly experienced here and now.
• you allow your peace of mind to depend on some future situation - a mental projection, an imagined situation
• you relinquish your personal power by allowing things outside of you to decide your sense of self, your identity, your well-being
• you allow your happiness to depend on the fulfillment of things, events and other people: factors that are not entirely within your control
  
• you seek to find fulfillment in things that will never give it to you. If these things really are the answer to true happiness, then why are there unhappy people who already have these things?
  

If you really think about it, isn't long-term waiting a sure-fire way to being unhappy?

Are you a long-term waiter?

Are you a long-term waiter? Here are some examples of how you may be doing it:

1. If you are single: "When I meet the man/woman of my dreams, then I will be happy!"
2. If you are in a relationship: "When my partner turns into the perfect, flawless person who looks, speaks, thinks, smells, dresses, earns and behaves exactly how I think he/she should, then I'll be happy!"
3. If you are financially challenged: "One day, if I win the lottery I will finally be able to afford the extravagant things that I'd long been dreaming of - then I'll definitely be happy!"
4. If you are frustrated about your physical looks: "One day, when I finally turn into a hunk/Goddess with the perfect body and the gorgeous face, wearing the most glamorous clothes and hanging out with the most prestigious people...then I'll be happy!"
5. If you are a spiritual seeker: "When I find the highest-evolved spiritual Master, then I will reach enlightenment sooner. Then I will surely be at peace, at last."

There are more subtle ways and different variations of the waiting game. For example, in Michael J. Fox's memoir, "Lucky Man", he admitted that he used to live a life marked by excesses: partying, boozing, extravagance, working to the point of exhaustion. He wrote that he did this because deep down, he couldn't believe his good fortune. Deep inside, he was afraid that his good fortune was a fluke, a mistake made by the Universe. And when the powers that be finds out, surely the music will stop, the party will be over and his blessings will end. So he made sure he took full advantage by clinging so tight to the good things, only to realize that all he really ended up doing was spend every moment looking over his shoulder: dreading, anticipating - waiting for the music to end, for the party to be over. And when his Parkinson's kicked in, from one perspective you could say the party did end by then. But he never lost sight that Parkinson's was exactly what he needed to wake up and notice all the other things that meant far more to him than fame and his career!

Questions to Ponder

Can you list ways of how you may be long-term waiting? (LTW)

Cite ways how LTW may be causing you to lose the very things you want to experience. What consequences are you sufferring from now because of long-term waiting?

Consider this: what other options do you have apart from 'waiting'?

In what ways can you possibly give yourself the permisssion to feel happy/fulfilled/at peace NOW, regardless of your life situation?

Next time we will look at how we can be happy right here right now, regardless of what's happening outside us.

I went to my primary purpose (as Eckhart Tolle teaches in A New Earth), becoming present and accessing a deep peace. But on the surface there is still a big question: What do I do?

I invite answers to come into my consciousness...

Clip 1 - August 4, 2008: Introduction

Clip 2 - August 4, 2008: Awareness

Clip 3 - August 4, 2008: Black Men Unconscious

Clip 4 - August 4, 2008: Living Skillfully

Clip 5 - August 4, 2008: Conclusion