In 1999, Jay Mohr starred as Peter Dragon on one of the strangest sitcoms e’er to air on American network television. It was called Action, a very adult comedy about a Hollywood executive who would do anything to make sure his next movie is a hit. It was sexual, it was vulgar, and it pioneered swearing – however bleeped it may be – on national television. Just to give you an idea, two of the supporting characters were Buddy Hackett as Dragon’s one-testicled uncle and Illeana Douglas as a former child star-turned whore who then becomes the vice president of Dragon’s company. It lasted eight episodes (13 were filmed), ending when the main character freakin’ died!

Mohr’s new sitcom, Gary Unmarried, isn’t even close to the greatness and irreverence of that short-lived show, but when all is said and done, I thought it was cute. I dig the ensemble. The kids don’t bug me. I got a good share of chuckles. Why wouldn’t I continue at least watching this in a corner of my monitor while at work? (It’s going up against ANTM, Bones and Pushing Daisies, so unless it becomes brilliantly good, there’s no way it’s pushing any of those shows out of the way.

Here, Mohr plays Gary Brooks, a recent divorcé and bachelor. The pilot starts with him doing a post-coital tattoo inspection on the lovely Jaime King – I thought it was sexier when the actress’ name was James King, but that’s neither here nor there – but has the session cut short when his ex-wife Allison (Paula Marshall, i.e. the porn star on Sports Night and the gastric bypass nighttime soap actress on Nip/Tuck s5 who had some leakage issues) shows up unannounced to transfer their children onto him for the day. Apparently, the two had made some rules to not date other people for a while, so Gary has to get King’s Vanessa out of the house without being seen, much to her chagrin.

The next day, Gary approaches Vanessa at work (he’s a painting contractor and she’s his client) and apologizes for not telling her that he had children, and they decide to try to make it work. Inspired by the potential to be with a really ridiculously good-looking woman again, he confront Allison and asks that they lift their “no dating” ban. Allison is relieved, because it turns out that not only is she dating their former marriage counselor, they are actually to be married.

[Horn sound] Waah waah waaaaaah…

Vanessa then shows up at the house, where Gary is dealing with his two kids, his ex and her new lover (Ed Begley, Jr. – I once ate pea soup next to him on I-5!), and drops another bomb into Gary’s already overwhelmed lap – she’s a single mother, too, and brings her young son along. Oh noes! What’s a painting contractor to do?

Like I said, it’s cute but not uproarious, the laugh track is a little much but not too much, and the two main sets – Gary’s house and Allison’s house – are oddly claustrophobic. (Come on, comedy producers, you’re always supposed to make the living room far bigger than it would ever be in real life for maximum comedy potential.)

But I’m with this for the season, and will reevaluate its merits if it gets a second season. But that’s for then, and for now I’m quite pleased.

One line did get more than a mild chuckle out of me, a near-non sequitur that was almost too bizarre for such a middle-of-the-road sitcom. Even in as much context as it could muster up in relation to the scene, it was a strange and out-of-left-field statement to make.

I also felt humiliated and deceived, but for me it’s kind of a turn-on. – Gary

In 2006, Al Gore released the excellent “An Inconvenient Truth,” his inspired documentary about the state of the planet, and effectively introduced the problem of climate change into the mainstream.  Sure, being “green” had been around for some time at that point, and it wasn’t like no one was aware of global warming prior to the film’s existence, but Big Al presented the facts clearly, concisely and effectively enough that he incited widespread awareness of the problem, all the while looking much more stately, distinguished and commanding (read: fatter) than he ever did during the 2000 election to boot.  Winning the Oscar for Best Documentary that year (along with a second Oscar for Best Song, Melissa Etheridge’s robust “I Need to Wake Up”), only extended the reach of Gore’s film.  2006 was a good year for environmental awareness.

The problem is, the popularity of “An Inconvenient Truth” only encouraged the perpetuation of “being green” as an exclusive, enlightened niche group.  All of a sudden, dozens of “green” websites began popping up everywhere, promising tips on how to live a happier, healthier, more eco-friendly lifestyle (and trying to make a buck or two in the process).  Although sites like TreeHugger and AutoBlogGreen were doing a fine job providing quality, newsworthy environmental content, there started to be a trend of sites attempting to jump on the green bandwagon with pointless, inane eco-drivel, hoping that Birkenstock-wearing granola hippies would be too eager to embrace all things eco-friendly to notice the paucity of valuable information.

Particularly offensive was the launch of the Planet Green channel earlier this year, featuring a lineup of green-centric programming for the eco-friendly couch potato.  Highlights of the channel include an extra-smug Adrian Grenier patting himself on the back for his environmental efforts on “Alter Eco,” and Ed Begley Jr’s über-boring “Living With Ed,” which I think is tacitly about the monotony of married life.  In any event, the channel is a complete and utter waste of time, and effectively highlights the overarching problem with the green movement in general.  In an effort to capitalize on trends, media outlets have missed the point.  Yes, it’s important that people are making the effort to live responsibly, but why try to integrate environmentalism and entertainment? Instead, why don’t TV networks invest in more sustainable energy, so that I can know that the new episode of “Ugly Betty” is coming to me at less of a cost to the environment?

When being concerned about the environment is treated as a fringe mindset, or even as simply a “cool” subculture, it encourages both a snooty exclusivity, and the idea that environmental consciousness and responsibility is not a pertinent issue on the national stage, which it clearly is.  The 2008 presidential campaigns have given a great deal of attention to environmental concerns, and the question of how we acquire our energy will inevitably play a large role in determining who gets elected come November.  Emissions standards, alternative energy sources and our unhealthy dependence on oil are critical issues in this election cycle.  At this moment in history, the environment is important to everyone, not just the people who read blogs about Leonardo DiCaprio’s eco-friendly composting toilet (not that Modern Jackass has anything against Mr. DiCaprio’s toilet—in fact, we commend him for his purchase.  We just don’t want to feel like we have to be up to speed on the brand of toilet Mr. DiCaprio has selected to shit in in order to be considered environmentalists).

So why is green dead?  It’s dead because duh, of course you’re green.  Everyone’s green.  Or, at least, anyone who cares even the slightest bit about this country—nay, this planet—making any forward progress in the generations to come is green.  Green is not a niche movement anymore—it’s simply a part of being an informed human.  We need environmental legislation, renewable energy, cleaner cars, socially conscious corporations, etc etc.  We need the kind of change to the infrastructure of our society that will reverse the destructive course we’ve set for ourselves by becoming the poster children of waste and over-consumption.  We need leaders who understand that, and who will implement that change. What we don’t need is another website about recycled bookmarks. Use some scrap paper, for Christ’s sake!  Jesus.

*This photo pretty much says it all, don't you think?

Left to Right-Front to Back

Every day, when I walk down the hill, I'm greeted by the following advertisement:

It's so huge, you can't NOT see it. It makes me smile every time. That is one damn cute chihuahua, and they are EVERYWHERE here, along with tons of other dogs. No real story or flash of insight, it's just something that makes me happy and I wanted to share it. Needless to say, I will be one of the complete freaks at this movie on opening weekend, and I'm not even apologizing for it. Of course I'm not nearly as jazzed for this as I am for the screen adaptation of Marley & Me. Most dog lovers I know have read this book about "the world's worst dog," a yellow labrador retriever. If the movie is anything like the book, by the end I will be sobbing like a 5-year-old girl who can't find her Hello Kitty lunch box on the first day of kindergarten.

En route to my job, I thought I'd splurge and take a different bus at full fare today, saving my tootsies some wear and tear. Today's bus ride was my first experience in LA traffic. I had plenty of time to spare and wasn't worried about arriving to the edit late, but all the same, at one point we sat in the same place on La Cienega Boulevard for so long, I thought I could've walked there and made better time. Plus, NO A/C on the bus and no open windows so it was a bit sauna-esque, only without towels, glistening torsos and cheesy music... wait... no, that's a movie I saw once. OK, more like 20 movies I've seen 50 times. (Please, no comments from the peanut gallery, G.)

Grabbed a coffee and got to the job early. Guy, whose house I was working in, was leaving for most of the day. We'd set up the project when I met him on Tuesday, so it was up and running and ready for me to attack right away.

The job was straight-forward. Without getting into boring, technical edit-speak, I was essentially hired to organize clips into a cohesive project for the editor to work on later. The project is a comedy short that I imagine will be making the internet rounds at some point. The most recognizable face and name is Ed Begley Jr., who is playing a character hired by PBS to do an exposé on the adult entertainment industry. Now before my mother has a cow, let's clarify a few things. It's a mockumentary shot and performed in an improvisational style much like any of Christopher Guests' directorial features in recent years: Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, etc. The cast was comprised of legitimate actors skewering (pardon the innuendo) the porn industry. Jenna Jameson was nowhere to be found. On a personal note, the fact I even know Ms. Jameson's name saddens me on so many levels...

There were several other actors I recognized, including Wendi McLendon-Covey (Reno 911), Gary Anthony Williams (Boston Legal - THE best show on television... hmmm... or is that LOST?), Kate Flannery (The Office), and a favorite character actor of mine named Jack Plotnick. You might not recognize Jack's name, but I've no doubt you've seen his face in films and on television shows and commercials. Jack also has an amazing website called “New Thoughts for Actors,” which I discovered years ago and think is one of the most thorough and valuable resources for actors at any level who are serious about their craft.

I spent a good part of the day laughing, so I'm keeping fingers crossed for all involved that the project finds an audience. To my knowledge, the working title is The Rise and Fall of Tuck Johnson, so keep your internet-surfing eyes peeled. If I'm privy to additional information, I'll be sure to pass it along. While I didn't rake in the cash today, I felt amazing on the bus ride/walk up The Hill home. My work today didn't solve the world's problems or cure the common cold, but I was proud of the time and effort I contributed. An honest day's work.

I don't really know how to put it into words, but in recent days, I've been overwhelmed with the good feeling that all of this is going to work out for me, and far beyond my own expectations. It sounds weird, but I can physically feel my connection to it. I don't know the 'how' or even the 'when,' but to me, it feels as though it already exists. I'm hard pressed to believe that God, the Source, your Inner Being, The Universe, or whatever you want to call it... that this all-encompassing, abundant life force of which we're all a part would give us goals and dreams, but not the means to achieve them. Seems a cruel entity that would give us puppies, flowers, laughter, sunshine, autumn, love, the stars above and so much more, but would deny us the chance to live our individual purposes, don't you think? Two days ago my friend Lee posted a comment with the quote: “Empty yourself and let the universe fill you.” For the first time in a long time, I think I know how that feels, and I'm willing to see what happens.

by SAM PAGE

As a personal trainer working in Hollywood, I see my share of fads and trends. Southern California saw the beginnings of such fitness mainstays as Jack Lalanne, Richard Simmons, and Jane Fonda. Then came Soloflex, Tae Bo, and "striptease" cardio. The green movement also began here, birthing people and causes such as Healthy Child, Ralph Nader, and Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose legacy may in large part have to do with his stand to reduce greenhouse gas emissions in the world's sixth largest economy.

The Governator is probably the best combination of fitness and sustainability. If you're a gym-goer, it's an intriguing idea. Consider that besides your home, car, and office, your time in the gym (and the related travel time to get there) probably accounts for one or two hours each day. So here are some thoughts on how you can make your exercise regimen less impactful on the environment.

Buy a Nalgene water bottle. There have been scary stories about a chemical called BTA that "regular" water bottles release if you've inadvertently left them in a hot car. While the jury's still out on whether BPA causes cancer, laboratory studies on rats have shown that "it affects estrogen, decreases sperm production, has been associated to prostate and breast cancer, and it is especially hard on developing bodies." By using a Nalgene water bottle, you save the production of plastic which (even when recycled) still leaves a footprint. If that's not reason enough, then look at what a good corporate citizen Nalgene is.  More ideas...

Use self powered gym equipment. Have you ever noticed that no matter how crowded the gym, there's always a stationary bike available? Here's why: first, of all the cardio equipment out there, stationary bikes are by far the cheapest. And many stationary bikes are powered by the user and require zero electrical power. Fewer machines to fuel means lower electricity costs for the facility. Actor/environmentalist Ed Begley Jr. goes one step further and uses his exercise bike to power other stuff.

When shopping for sports supplements, think green. I got this idea from Begley, who (no big shocker) has already been doing a lot of thinking about fitness and sustainability. "Fitness enthusiasts often take supplements, powders and the like," he says. "When making purchases of this sort, think 'green.'" Ed offers a practical way to determine whether a container for your favorite protein powder is harmful to the environment. "The easiest plastic containers to recycle are the ones that have a 1 or a 2 in the center of the recycling triangle logo (usually on the bottom of the container)," he explains. "The 3,4,5 and 6 containers are the more problematic."

Use biofriendly disinfectants and cleaners. Rebecca Foster, an green educational consultant in Los Angeles, tells me that a natural substance such as tea tree oil is as effective as many commercial disinfectants—plus they smell way better. Think about the air in the room around you and your own respiratory system. Do you really want to breathe bleach, ammonia, and other harsh chemicals? Blech. There are dozens of non-toxic and biodegradable cleaning products on the market: Simple Green, Seventh Generation, and Method Home are three leaders.

Last, but what should probably be first: choose your gym wisely. Recently I joined a neighborhood gym which I selected for one criterion alone: where was the gym in relation to my work and home? Since I drive between my three business locations on a daily basis, I wanted the gym where I take up residence to cross my traffic patterns, that way I can't ever make an excuse NOT to work out. The same rule also helps the environment. By giving my membership to a gym that's "on the way," not "out of the way" of my daily traffic patterns, I reduce my consumption of gasoline and energy: every time I work out.

Got ideas for how to make your workout greener? Email me.

© 2008 SAM PAGE | about | contact

They all agree NOT to burden the postal service by Netflixing The Punisher War Zone (much less watching it in the theater), and Grae breaks Gariana's pregnancy news while they discuss Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist. And if all that doesn't give you the shudders, listen to see which May movie release got Jensen's big thumbs up.

Click here to listen!

The F-Bombs and bullets to the stomach gags only go so far and, since there’s no real story to move things along, the whole proceedings start to wear really thin. The biggest laughs for me came from the subplot involving Dale’s 18-year-old high school girlfriend Angie, well played by Amber Heard. The opening scene where Dale has a confrontation with her school administrator is very funny and a later scene when he meets her parents, played by Ed Begley Jr. and Nora Dunn, is the movies very best sequence. Also worth noting is the performance of Danny McBride (Drill Bit Taylor) as Saul’s pot supplier, Red. He gets a lot of mileage out of his material and, for my money, steals the film away from both Rogen and Franco. Overall, Pineapple Express is stuck in OK-Ville. It’s not really bad but it’s just not really good either. To me this is a case of a good concept lacking the really good script that sustains a feature length movie. It’s a decent watch with a handful of inspired moments but nothing to get excited about. 2.5 Zombies out of 5.

Pineapple Express is the big summer movie many have been waiting for: the one where Judd Apatow's camp finally and irredeemably misses the mark. Co-written by Evan Goldberg and star Seth Rogen (from a story by Apatow and Rogen & Goldberg), the film lacks the sense of innocence that made the raunchy zaniness of the duo's previous offering Superbad so charming.  Instead, viewers are treated to a rambling and repetitive mess of a picture that consistently fails to entertain.

This time around Rogen plays Dale Denton, a habitually stoned process server who obtains a unique strain of marijuana (the Pineapple Express of the title) from his brain-fried dealer Saul (James Franco).  In the most contrived plot device you'll see this year, Rogen must serve papers on the local drug kingpin Ted (Gary Cole), only to witness him and a policewoman (Rosie Perez) murder a member of a rival gang.  Later identified by the super-rare joint that he dropped at the scene, Dale must go into hiding with Saul in tow, and along the way a codependent bromance  blossoms between this odd couple. 

Hilarity should ensue, but it doesn't.  After an insufferable hour of uninspired stoner humor (read: lots of confused screaming), Pineapple Express actually manages to descend into a thoroughly mindless buddy action film with a body count to rival Kill Bill.  It's a schizophrenic jumble of two wholly dissimilar films that director David Gordon Green never remotely glues into a coherent whole.  The film's selling point of course is its sophomoric humor; the problem is, this time it's not funny.  The Apatow camp seems to pride itself on pushing the envelope, but in Pineapple Express the positively telegraphed jokes are so predictable, so obvious and so formulaic as to destroy any pretense of risk by the filmmakers.  (You can probably already guess the one-liner that Dale delivers upon finally defeating the bad guys.)  And the light-hearted depiction of violence in the final act is simply cynical and irresponsible.  On the plus side, the low-brow shenanigans contain remarkably little toilet humor.

Maybe less surprisingly, the sentiment beneath the jokes feels too familiar. Apatow's films have distinguished themselves from other bawdy comedies through the endearing sensitivity of their self-destructive characters.  If one simply wants outrageous gross-out humor, the Farrelly brothers provide such laughs better than anyone, and even the preposterously banal Harold and Kumar movies at least managed to be unpredictable.  But Pineapple Express develops the relationships as faithfully by the numbers as it delivers the vacant punch lines. We know that Dale and Saul will split up, only to inevitably realize that they're best pals and save each other in the end, because we've seen the exact same thing before - so why follow the same strict formula again?  Superbad seemed to stand out because of the characters' naïveté, yet after watching the same notes played again and again in Pineapple Express, perhaps it was the audience that was naïve.

It's no surprise then that Rogen's Dale is alternately cuddly and flustered, and that particular brand of schtick is beginning to wear thin (especially given his involvement in crafting such incoherent chaos).  Franco deserves some credit for playing completely against type, but he never registers anything beyond muddled neediness.  For that matter, the background is littered with talented character actors (including Kevin Corrigan, The Office's Craig Robinson, and of course Cole, who's nicely succeeded the late J.T. Walsh in playing mean white guys) who all seem miscast or at least misdirected, filling roles that do not play to their strengths.  Ed Begley, Jr. alone manages to shine as the father of Dale's teenaged girlfriend, but his character is tiny in comparison to the drug supplier played charmlessly by Danny R. McBride.

Not having seen the film "under the influence," I'm sure I missed something that the filmmakers believed they were accomplishing during the film's development.  One shouldn't have to distort one's own perceptions to be able to enjoy a film though, and yet Pineapple Express is still as disappointing as any chemically-induced crash.

- Stephen Kabel

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

I don't know about you...but I do love that Science Guy!

The article is a promotion of Begley's eco-propaganda book Living Like Ed. According to Queenan, Ed's lifestyle has very nearly cost him his marriage as his wife is a normal human being. He is also representative of the people in Congress, paid off by eco-lobbyists, writing global warming legislation at this very minute. Here is how you can live like Ed:

• You must stand outside the bathroom door and time and calculate your spouse's water usage, ready to barge in when too much water has been used.
• You must not fly on airplanes, because they damage the earth. Only use automobiles for travel.
• You must only wear vegan tennis shoes and clothing.
• Organize styrofoam recycling parties. This can be applied to all types of materials and waste products—plastics, steel, paper, carpet, tires, batteries, oil, feces, clothing, used condoms.
• Use non-toxic house cleaner. Ed likes to drink his.
• Use a solar oven to cook your food, because conventional ovens damage the earth.
• Make your pregnant wife, who is in labor, endure a 10 mile detour to fill up your natural gas car. You must not stop there. You have to make your pregnant wife get out and pump the gas.

If you do these things on a daily basis you will be well on your way to being like Ed, not to mention all the other militant eco-lunatics gaining momentum in Washington. This is where we are headed as a nation folks. One day, in the name of global warming, you will be prosecuted for not subscribing to this kind of lifestyle. Get your heads out of sand people.

* Che all'epoca era ancora viva e occhialonemunita, quindi vale.

With the democratic primary season (hopefully) drawing to a close, and with a potentially nasty general election upon us, now seemed like the perfect time to pick at the giant scab that is the 2000 Presidential Election. Recount is the latest from HBO Films which recounts (zing!) the entire George Bush/Al Gore fiasco. The movie sports an all-star cast, including Kevin Spacey, Laura Dern and Tom Wilkinson.

Recount accomplishes what more than a month of around the clock reporting failed to do: it lays out the entire process in a way you can actually understand, albeit with a decidedly liberal bias. But while we all know how this story ends, Recount will still glue you to your television screen, almost hoping that somehow it'll all play out differently this time. Spacey stars as Ron Klain, Al Gore's former chief of staff who heads up his effort to challenge the Florida election results. On the opposite side of the aisle is Tom Wilkinson as James Baker, Bush Senior's former Secretary of State who does everything he can to stand in his way.

Delivering one of the movie's finest (funniest?) performances is Laura Dern as Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris, a woman who only years ago was "teaching the Chicken Dance to seniors" and who is now excited to be right smack in the center of the national spotlight. Ed Begley Jr., Bob Balaban and Dennis Leary round out the cast.

Politicos and fans of shows like The West Wing are going to have a lot of fun here. Suspense plays throughout as Gore's camp races against the clock to get ballots in contested Florida counties recounted, or in some cases, counted at all. Republicans and all three or four fans of the Bush Administration will no doubt feel frustration at being painted as political slimeballs, resorting to harassment and intimidation to stop them. Of course, none of that will compare to frustration felt by Democrats, who will only view this as more evidence of an election that was stolen from it's rightful winner. Iraq, rising food and gas prices and a tanking economy makes sure the salt is rubbed in nice and deep.

The film ends with Bush's victory speech, in which he promises to earn the respect and trust of the American public, including those who didn't vote for him. This forces us to ask ourselves the same question Spacey asks Wilkinson after the Supreme Court hands down it's unprecedented, and some would say unbelievable, verdict, "Did the better man win?"

I love the political stuff, so Recount was right up my alley. But, as said, this movie will probably alienate some. But who cares, right? It was great anyway.

8 out of 10 stars

Never fear, my friends. Gaiam (per the usual) comes to the rescue! Following the recent success of their Spritiual Cinema Circle, the mega feel-good company has now partnered with founders Gay Hendricks and Rick Ridgeway to launch the Earth Cinema Circle.

The premise is simple. Pay $18 bucks a month to become a member and receive 4 environmental films, documentaries and videos delivered right to your mailbox. Invite some friends over for organic popcorn (or organic vodka martinis like in our house!) and it's just like a mini Environmental Film Festival right at home!

With spokesman actor environmentalist Ed Begley, Jr. (who??) by their side, the club brings you the best of wildlife, conservation, adventurous eco-travel and more. The kicker? The DVD's are packaged with eco-friendly materials (of course!) and are YOURS to keep and share forever.

So if you're looking for ways to productively spend that stimulus check, we suggest joining the club and start showing off your new eco DVD library.

Anyhoo, I'll write all that up later but for now, I have decided to only use Method products for cleaning the house. Method wipes are compostable, they have flushable ones for the bath. The sprays smell good and I'm not worried that Bunny will get sick from them, they have laundry soap, dish soap and mop-py stuff as well.
I might also use Dr. Bronner's (the almond stuff smells like HEAVEN and now they sell the big ass size at Target!) but I like the smell of Method Grapefruit better.
Soon as I use up or give away or recycle the last of the existing cleaning stuff that's it. No more.
I'll use vinegar and baking soda on things if I can't get those.

;)

Also, I have Tex on the solar bandwagon.
He's got his Solio in the window and using it to recharge his iPod (thus getting one transformer off the grid...working on more permanently...some are already off when I am not at my computer (I flick the power strip off) and my charging station, my printer and my speakers are off at that point). Also I Netflix'd "Living With Ed" and we watched it today on the kitchen computer while I cleaned and (while I mocked Rachelle) Tex decided that the solar thing was cool and now he's all for it. I just want to get things like rechargeable batteries, the cordless drill and our Bluetooth headsets away from being plugged in.
Now we are looking into a solar panel and a charge holder that will work in here. That will take a little research.

Also pondering a counter top dishwasher. I know it sounds like a waste and a luxury, but it only uses 3 gallons of water to wash and I'm pretty sure we use more than that washing by hand. Still haven't decided on that one...but it sure would be nice. (and I've already mentally rearranged my armoire stuff to allow for my KitchenAid mixer to be there so that I can put the washer on the rolly cart to not take up the little bit of counter space I have.)