I have written an article on Madonna's Hard Candy era and the diverse reactions from critics and fans. You can read it on the Madonna Connexion website.

Oh, the drama!

The Steal:

Anyone remember 90s cult classic Hard Candy? Ok, good. Though most stores have stopped carrying it, the brand is alive and kicking online (hurrah!), and home to my favorite going-out eyeshadow quartet, Old Skool. The neutral palette, when layered, makes me feel like a desert queen. Or at least exotic enough to be the queen of a Jersey nightclub. The $14 pricetag? So worth it.

The Splurge:

Dior. We all go ga-ga for the designer's bags, outfits, cosmetics... and good ol' Christian has a neutral answer of his own: Dior 5-Colour Iridescent Eyeshadow in Earth Reflection 609.

The colors, every bit as earth-girl glam. The label, a savings sucker-punch at $54; $40 more than Hard Candy's product.

Referee Calls:

Hard Candy does basically the same job as Dior. In fact, the job is spookily similar. Applying the colors the same way (darkest on lid, continuing through the palette until the lightest graces the browbone) with a medium shadow brush, and it won't matterr which box it came from. Dior has its good points: it lasts longer, but both will get you through a night on the town. Girls looking for fancy packaging and to drop names will love Dior's midnight blue case, screaming "Dior!" in silver, not to mention its additional velvety slipcover. In the bathroom at an Atlantic City nightclub, I noticed a few envious glances at this little blue pearl.

But Hard Candy's no name-slouch either; it's sleek, futuristic silver case imprinted with logo are also bathroom mirror-worthy; both compacts come with mirror and applicators.

Unless you have to have that designer label, go for the steal. It's all in the application, ladies.

-C

A federal judge has ruled that the Redskins must continue to run captioned play-by-play and start showing the lyrics of songs played in the stadium so that the deaf and hard of hearing can have "full game experience."

This ruling affects all stadiums and I'm guessing this includes all sports venues?  Does it also include NASCAR and MMA, I had pondered.

The ruling is tied to ADA.  And because of that, it would make sense why the federal judge would rule the way he did (that is, if you are familiar with the American Disabilities Act.)

The public appears to not be in favor of this ruling, since the Polls [In the beginning] showed almost half had opposed it, whereas the other half (give or take) supports it.

I do have mixed feelings about this ruling.  There are several factors that comes into mind, with regards to this.  And, I'll get to that in a little bit.

Shane Feldman, a 30 year old deaf fan said " "The Redskins needed to understand that they had to provide captioning so that we could really the enjoy the game."  Key word here is "Game."  I'll get to that in a little bit too.

Apparently since 2006, the Redskin's FedEx Field have been captioning play-by-play and even captioning the "Star Spangled Banner" and "Hail to the Redskins."  The deaf and Hard of Hearing wanted a full stadium experience that includes public address announcements, advertisements, music and other information.

Another stadium in Washington D.C., Nationals Ballpark captions everything that is said on the ballpark's public address system.  Everything except the lyrics to the song that the Cheerleaders are performing to.  They are currently looking at the ruling to see if they need to make any adjustment to what they are already doing.

Over at one of the deaf blog aggregator site, there were a number of bloggers that wrote about this latest ruling. Most admonished the public for their ignorance.

A blogger known as "Deaf Mom" explains why deaf and hard of hearing people would need lyrics to be captioned at a live football game.  Deaf Mom feels that the deaf/HOH should have access to the same information as everyone in the stadium when stuffs is being broadcasted over a microphone.  And as she puts it:

"People with normal hearing have the ability to access what goes on in a stadium.  Even if a person couldn't understand what was said on the loudspeaker, they have the choice to get up and go closer to a speaker or find a quieter place near the food stand to grasp what is said."

For one blogger, the judge's ruling wasn't enough. One would think once a ruling is in place, law is law.  Who cares what people think, right?  Well, for this blogger, it was imperative that people go to the Washington Post Poll and vote to make it right.

Another blogger also blogged about the Poll numbers at Washington Post as well.  Encouraging people to vote in favor of at the Polls, and pretty much saying that the more the numbers change (in the poll)  in their favor, that it would somehow turn the public's opinion on this matter.

And this is what this blogger had to say about the ruling:

"Wanna bet how quickly they will change their mind if they lose their hearing? Funny because a lot of hearing people do benefit from the closed captioning, like if there are loud cheerings or jeers."

I clicked on the poll last night and voted "no opinion" and the results showed 64% yes, 33% no, and 1% no opinion (That's me!)  The poll is located on the same website as the article in Washington Post.  Simply put, it is not a valid poll anymore.

So, the Poll has, in effect, became unreliable due to manipulation.  Think about it, if the other side was afforded the same manipulation, you'll see the polls tilting the other way too.  Not a reliable poll, for one.  And, how is the poll going to change people's opinion?  I have considered starting a poll that asks whether one would let a Poll result influence their opinion on a matter.  Polls do not necessarily reflect the true numbers of the total population's view.

Here are some interesting comments from that deaf blogger's site:

"I'm a hard core football [fan] and I don't care about CC"

"I strongly feel that is pretty frivolous of Shane Feldman and the legal parties insist on the captioning of lyrics (songs)"

"It isn't a sports thing, friends. It's a DEAF thing."

"I prefer watch play games and read score board. Caption on the screen is a distraction!"

"I look forward to the day that all deaf and hard of hearing people can access the same things as people who can hear. "

Over at Sports Law Blog, here are what some of the commentors are saying in regards to the latest ruling on captions in a stadium.

"There has got to be some sort of personal responsibility here--this is clearly an attempt to extort money from the team."

"if this gentleman does not have to listen to the nonsense being blared at the crowd over the PA system in FedEx Field, he is very fortunate indeed."

"I think the deaf should have mandatory NFL referee penalty signal training as a prerequisite to attend. "

Now, that's an Idea!   :)

Seriously, I have misgivings. First off, apparently the Redskins have been captioning their games.  They have been captioning the two significant songs being played.  They have provided what was needed for a deaf and hard of hearing person to be able to enjoy the GAME.

But, in reality, we don't need captions to follow the game.  Now consider what one commenter in the Sports Law Blog stated:

"Someone has a chip on his shoulder.  What about an NFL game, seen live, needs captioning?

Penalties?  No, that's what the refs signals are for.  I've known the refs signals since I was about 5 years old.

Replays?  There's no play-by-play in the stadium anyway.

Scores?  Duh."

Who's going to have time to follow the captions when your eye would more likely focus on the ball and the player's moves on the field.  One wouldn't even have time to keep his eyes on the captions in the screen, you would agree, No?  I'm going to bet that these deaf hard-core sports fans will agree with this statement, in the majority.  Captions are a distraction in sports venues, usually.

To be able to experience and enjoy the game, we don't need to know the lyrics to a song that Cheerleaders dances to. I mean, if someone could just show the name of the artist and the song being played, one could look up the lyrics later and buy the song to listen to.   Let's be real here, most deaf (except those that are Hard of Hearing) do not bother to listen to music.  I'm hard of hearing, I listen to music all the time.  I would not expect them to caption the lyrics.  Sure, it'll be nice, but, if I like a song so much, I will buy the song and look up on the lyrics myself.

It's not like the Redskins were refusing to caption anything, they HAVE been captioning the important part of the 'game experience'.

Right now the focus is on "captioning the lyrics," more so than anything else.

Consider this,  if we were to start captioning every music video and post it in Deaf Read, the number of hits are going to be so low which defies the whole purpose of demanding captioning of  lyrics.

And speaking of LIVE game, it cost money!  Used to be cheap to get in to watch LIVE sports game, but, these days are gone.

Now with some frivolous demand to caption song lyrics that the Cheerleaders are dancing to, is only going to increase the cost of admissions to these LIVE games.

The game experience is gonna get pretty expensive, all just for a song.

I watch many sports on TV and captioning is always in the way, I don't bother to watch the captioning at all.   You're gonna find out that many people don't care for these public announcements or some sportscaster's opinion about the game.  And as most hearing people will say, you should consider yourself fortunate not to have to listen to all the crap.

That aside, ADA does say we should have the right to equal access.  But, how far is too far and what constitutes a reasonable solution?

Here's a subtitled music video of Linkin Park - "Leave out all the rest" by Jadisha over at YouTube.

Coldplay - Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends - 5.139.000
Amy Winehouse - Back To Black - 4.386.000
Duffy - Rockferry - 3.316.000
Leona Lewis- Spirit - 3.008.000
Madonna - Hard Candy - 2.893.000
Lil Wayne - Tha Carter III - 2.640.000
Jack Johnson - Sleep Through The Static - 2.518.000
Rihanna - Good Girl Gone Bad2.391.000
Soundtrack - Mamma Mia! - 2.187.000
Michael Jackson - Thriller (25th Anniversary Reissue) - 2.157.000
Alicia Keys - As I Am - 2.021.000
Mariah Carey - E=MC2 - 1.805.500
Kid Rock - Rock'n'Roll Jesus - 1.683.000
Usher - Here I Stand - 1.657.000
Radiohead - In Rainbows (Physical Release) - 1.655.000
Jonas Brothers - Jonas Brothers - 1.400.000
Chris Brown - Exclusive - 1.367.000
Taylor Swift - Taylor Swift - 1.233.000
OneRepublic - Dreaming Out Loud - 1.219.000
Michael Bublé - Call Me Irresponsible - 1.201.000
Soundtrack - Camp Rock - 1.171.000
Soundtrack - High School Musical - 21.162.000
Soundtrack - Juno - 1.155.000
R.E.M. - Accelerate - 1.121.000
Eagles - Long Road Out Of Eden - 1.113.000
Colbie Caillat - Coco - 1.071.000
Led Zeppelin - Mothership - 1.029.000
Miley Cyrus - Breakout - 1.023.000
Robert Plant / Alison Krauss - Raising Sand - 1.017.000
Lenny Kravitz - It's Time For A Love Revolution - 1.015.500
Disturbed - Indestructible - 1.014.000
Mika - Life In Cartoon Motion - 1.007.000
James Blunt - All The Lost Souls - 1.002.000

I can already see the meltdown coming up here! 

September 29th update:

Starting today US radios are being serviced with the one track promo for Miles Away, Madonna's new great single from Warner Bros. off the Hard Candy album.

Here are some scans of the CD and its front and back covers that as you can see do not feature Madonna but a nice design made of some stamps of the European tour stops of the Sticky & Sweet Tour on a pattern that reminds of an old passport.

This bailout bill is helping who?

Wall Street.

That's who.

Is this bill going to help MILLIONS of homeowners who are facing foreclosure?

Nope.

What's interesting is the people behind all this greed are the ones that created a homeownership frenzy and giving out loans to people who will not be able to afford it as ARM goes up over time.  If it was a fixed mortage, we wouldn't be seeing all of this foreclosures.   See, subprime and other loans that increases the ARM over time is what is hurting many homeowners.  I personally know of two people who have re-financed their home three times in the last two years because of ARM.  They were given verbal assurances that the ARM would not exceed the level of their affordability.  It's all screwed up, cuz, you'd think people would encourage home ownership by making it easy, not harder for them to own one.  Yet, greed takes over.....

I'm sure you have seen advertisements in the past where it screams at you online with this lucrative offer of not having to pay interest but principal of the loan over time before you even start paying interest on it.   A million dollar home for only 800 dollars a month.  Wow, what a deal.  This is just one of many offers that was out there convincing people that they can get a loan for a home of their dream.

This article tells us about this 90 year old woman who shot herself because her home was foreclosed.  And guess what Fannie Mae did when they heard about it (or was contacted to comment about it)?  Fannie Mae stopped the foreclosure and signed the house over to this 90 year old woman who, by the way is in critical condition at the moment.

Say, maybe we all should start shooting ourselves and maybe our house will be ours clear and free, eh?

This bailout bill is not going to help many people like this 90 year old lady who faced foreclosure, unless....maybe they'll get an idea from her.....God forbid.

Some greed.

It's all screwed up!

Hey here's AC/DC and a new single from their new album coming out October 20th

AC/DC - "All Screwed Up"   YouTube Video by 1ZOM

LYRICS (below)

Get ready
You think your kinda tough
Youre walkin kinda rough
When you want any more
You go fast wo wo wo
Things go tough
And you strut your stuff
And I want your thing
Then youre out of luck
Yes you are

Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Its all screwed up
All screwed up

Take you out to kick some butt
Work you over screw you nuts
And when you cant take no more
Then she push you out that door
And things go hard
Like a dog gone mad
She can pack some punch
Then youre out to lunch, back at one

Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Its all screwed up
All screwed up

Its all screwed up
Its all screwed up
Cant tell Im comin
All screwed up, yeah

I said its all screwed up
All screwed up, yeah
Said youre all screwed up
All screwed up
Its all screwed up, yes it is
All screwed up
Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Screwed up
Its all screwed up
Its all screwed up

Said you think you got some balls
But youre always out to lunch

Its all screwed up
Its all screwed up
Its all screwed up, yes it is
All screwed up
Its all screwed up, yeah

How's it goin?

Got any flavors comin your way?

Hey Daddy-O!

Got some gems comin your way?

haha!

I was alerted to Britney Spear's latest song "Womanizer" and the lyrics are revealing.  I like the song and wanted to share em wiith ya'll~

I suppose us girls can relate to that.  We've met our superstars in our life who's nothin but a womanizer or aptly known as players.

I've had my share over the years, and even while I was married, guys think they're so charming that they'll think they could somehow lift me off my feet with no qualms about respecting the sanctity of a committed relationship.  If you're wondering whether deaf guys are more or less a womanizer, trust me, they're more so from my experience.   Deaf guys who are big time players think they're superstars and tend to not understand that most married women do not play. Usually if they're (the women) not married or don't want to be married, then they're out there looking for a meaningful relationship not something that them superstars, players or womanizers are looking for!

Superstars, or more aptly known as Womanizers or Players, you know who you are.

Girls, this song is for you!

Britney Spears - Womanizer   Video by:  Britneyfan6969 (YouTube)

LYRICS:

Superstar
Where you from, how's it going?
I know you
Gotta clue, what youre doing?
You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here
But I know what you are, what you are, baby

Look at you
Gettin' more than just re-up
Baby, you
Got all the puppets with their strings up
Fakin' like a good one, but I call 'em like I see 'em
I know what you are, what you are, baby

Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer oh
womanizer oh, you are a womanizer baby
you you you are
you you you are
Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer

Boy dont try to front, uh uh
I know just what you are ah ah
Boy dont try to front, uh uh
I know just what you are ah ah
You got me, baby
You're oh so charming, honey
But I cant do it
Womanizer

Boy dont try to front, ah ah
I know just what you are ah ah
Boy dont try to front, ah ah
I know just what you are ah ah
You say I'm crazy
I got you crazy
You're nothing but a womanizer

Daddy-O
You got the swagger of champions
Too bad for you
You just can't find the right companion
I guess when you have one too many, makes it hard
It could be easy who you are, but that's who you are, baby

Lollipop
Must mistake me as a sucker
To think that I
Would be a victim not another
Say it, play it how you wanna
But no way I'm ever gonna fall for you, never you, baby

Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer oh
womanizer oh, you are a womanizer baby
you you you are
you you you are
Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer

Boy dont try to front, uh uh
I know just what you are ah ah
Boy dont try to front, uh uh
I know just what you are ah ah
You got me, baby
You're oh so charming, honey
But I cant do it
Womanizer

Boy dont try to front, ah ah
I know just what you are ah ah
Boy dont try to front, ah ah
I know just what you are ah ah
You say I'm crazy
I got you crazy
You're nothing but a womanizer

Maybe if we both lived in a different world
It would be all good, and maybe I could be ya girl
But I can't 'cause we don't

Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer oh
womanizer oh, you are a womanizer baby
you you you are
you you you are
Womanizer, womanizer, Womanizer

Boy dont try to front, uh uh
I know just what you are ah ah
Boy dont try to front, uh uh
I know just what you are ah ah
You got me, baby
You're oh so charming, honey
But I cant do it
Womanizer

Boy dont try to front, ah ah
I know just what you are ah ah
Boy dont try to front, ah ah
I know just what you are ah ah
You say I'm crazy
I got you crazy
You're nothing but a womanizer

Boy dont try to front, ah ah
I know just what you are ah ah
Boy dont try to front, ah ah
I know just what you are ah ah
Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer oh
womanizer oh, you are a womanizer baby

I was checking out Cubs tickets in Wrigley Field for the National League Championship Games (NLCG) just to see how much the tickets were.  I was floored to see that it costs 520 and up just to get one game 1 NLCG ticket.  A month ago, I thought I'd check and see if I can buy one of Cubs home game tickets since I have not been out there since 1990 and back then, I hadn't spent more than 10 bucks for a ticket, a regular home game ticket.  Guess how much the tickets were for a regular game?  110 bucks!  What happen to being able to buy tickets at all sorts of prices and as low as 10 bucks?!  And if you're a politician or have connections to some one who is one, you're in luck!

Amazing.......

And speaking of tickets, even some friends went to court and fought for Cubs tickets It kind of escalated because Cubs is in the Playoffs and the chances of Cubs making it to the World Series only made these four tickets so critical to these friends.

Amazing......

And speaking of money.......

This blog talks about Capitalism spin and its effect on the deaf community.  Services might be cut, etc.  But, what about events hosted by the deaf?  Will we see a decline in event attendances that requires a cover charge?  Will it change the face of the deaf culture?  Lots of things to mull about, indeed.

Fact is, it isn't really JUST about the banks, it's all about credit.  People buy things on credit and Captialism thrives on credit.   People are buying houses and big ticket items they can't even afford to begin with.  Living beyond your means is probably a dumb thing to do.  And what happens is, there's so much credit out there and no money to cover it!!  I have made it a rule in my life, never to get a credit card.  Well, I did get a major store card, but that's different.  I have a debit card by one of the major credit card company and can use it for reservations and down payment if needed.  I don't need a credit card.  At least I KNOW I was not one of many that contributed to this latest financial crisis.  I buy things I know I can afford and never on credit.  The only time I actually took out a loan was for a house and a car (only within my means.)  And because of greed, it is the middle class that will suffer the most, including people who live by on "pay check to pay check."

I'm even surprised that people are actually buying these Cubs Playoff tickets in exorbitantly crazed prices during these times.  I guess for some people, the moment is now.  For others, they're frugal and sacrifice the moment.  Life is short, so, what would you do?  Live like you always have or sacrifice the extras?

Amazing....

I'm not sure how I'm going to approach this.  I live my life one day at a time and see how things are.  And, whatever happens, I'll handle it, like I have handled every impossible road in my life.  Kind of like getting presents, you don't know what's in the box.

But, damn, I wanted to buy some Cubs tickets!   Yeah, even if that meant, I'm gonna have to cook up some hobo style meal for my family just for a few weeks.  :)   Tonight I made potato soup, from scratch, and with a hint of Swiss cheese.  mmmm  yummmy.   Not a bad idea, eh?

So, if you had to sacrifice something to make ends meet, what would you do?  And if deaf services were cut, what would you do?  What about going to deaf community events that charges admissions, would you still go?

All in all, I will just be content if Cubs just wins the World Series.

And, that deaf events reduces their cover charges to NOTHING, after all, it's nothing but lip and hand service.

And, after all's said and done, I'm "okay" just by listening to my number one love: ROCK!

Here's Bob Seger - Old Time Rock And Roll

UPDATE*** My old Candy blog over at Blogono is back up. This blog and that blog will have the same content. You can choose to hang out here or play with my kitty Kat over there. Whatever rocks your boat. :)

Giulia Innocenzi, anni 24, è la coordinatrice degli Studenti Luca Coscioni per la Libertà di Ricerca. L'abbiamo vista recentemente impegnata nella campagna "SOS pillola del Giorno Dopo", in occasione della quale ha organizzato tavoli di informazione sessuale davanti alle scuole e alle università italiane, e ha coordinato la raccolta di firme per l'abolizione dell'obbligo di ricetta per la contraccezione d'emergenza. Ha deciso ora di proporre la sua candidatura come Segretario dei Giovani del Partito Democratico, partecipando alle primarie previste per il prossimo mese di ottobre. A questo proposito, ha scritto nelle ultime settimane ben due lettere aperte indirizzate a Walter Veltroni, finalizzate allo scopo di ottenere chiarezza circa le modalità di partecipazione alle elezioni e le relative regolamentazioni. La sua battaglia quindi, che porta il segno inconfondibile del ‘metodo radicale', è incentrata sull'obiettivo di vedere ripristinata la democraticità all'interno del Partito Democratico, chiedendo regole chiare e certe sulla partecipazione alle primarie. Il fine ultimo è quello di eludere le logiche partitocratriche che ostacolano, o escludono, candidature provenienti dall'esterno rispetto agli apparati di partito. Nonostante le reticenze, Giulia ha vinto la sua prima battaglia, e si prepara per affrontare questa breve, ma intensa, campagna elettorale.

Su questo numero di Libmagazine potete leggere tutta la mia intervista a questa giovane radicale candidata a Segretario dei Young Democrats nostrani.

Atenas, 27 set (EFE).- Mais de 75 mil pessoas assistiram hoje ao show da cantora Madonna no Estádio Olímpico de Atenas, que encerrou a turnê da diva do pop na Europa.

As dezenas de milhares de espectadores começaram a chegar ao estádio desde as primeiras horas da tarde de hoje para garantir um lugar próximo ao palco.
Desde o início da manhã, a Polícia fechou os arredores do recinto e centenas de voluntários ajudaram as pessoas a encontrar seus lugares, enquanto equipes médicas e ambulâncias estavam preparadas para prestar assistência caso fosse necessário.
Madonna, que segundo a imprensa receberá 10 milhões de euros pelo espetáculo, subiu ao enorme palco por volta das 21h30 (horário local) e cantou durante quase duas horas.
A cantora virá o Brasil em dezembro, onde fará cinco shows: dois no Rio de Janeiro, nos dias 14 e 15 de dezembro, e três em São Paulo, nos dias 18, 20 e 21. :Arte, cultura e espetáculos:Música|

Madonna Hard Candy Special

Na tour, Madonna apresenta músicas de seu novo CD - Hard Candy e outros hits antigos e do Confessions on a Dance Floor.

O repertório do show, deve ficar mais ou menos assim:
Intro/Candy Shop
Beat Goes On
Human Nature
Vogue
Vídeo 1
Into The Groove
Heart Beat
Borderline
She’s Not Me
Music
Vídeo 2
Devil Wouldn’t Recognize You
Spanish Lesson
Miles Away
La Isla Bonita/Lela Pala Tute
Romanian Folk Musical Interlude
You Must Love Me
Vídeo 3
4 Minutes
Like A Prayer
Ray Of Light
Hung Up
Give It To Me (Finale)

MADONNA STICKY & SWEET TOUR, patrocinado pela RENNER, organizado pela empresa TIME FOR FUN.

Kylie Minogue vem ao Brasil, e seu produtor megablastermaxiflow Calvin Harris também vem (EEEEEEEE!!!), ele vai tocar no Terra. Quero ir. Em tempo: estava num bar ontem e vi Coldplay fazendo um cover de Cant Get You Outta My head, da Kylie. Looshoo!

Bom, da Madonna todo mundo tá careca de saber. Mas o que rola na boca pequena é que: Madonna gravaria um DVD com compilações dos shows do Brasil. Será?

A Cindy Lauper também vem, pra vanguarda!!! Os shows da Cindy serão em Sampa, Rio, Curitiba, Porto Alegre e Belo Horizonte. Mais espalhadão, o show deve ser bem menor que o das duas aí de cima. Ouvindo: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. [pirando].

A tia mór, diva, musa, viadaloka, Elton John também vem!!! UHUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Quero ir!!! E o show dele vai ser passado na TV, ao vivo, assim como o da Maddona.

jos video zapisa

Autor: Merkur*

jos fotografija

En medio de todas las noticias negativas, positivas y ni lo uno ni lo otro que cada día adornan los periódicos, sitios de internet y medios de comunicación en general, hay una que me llamó la atención. Y no es para menos, los beneficios de una posible actuación de Madonna en el Estadio Olímpico de Santo Domingo serían incuestionables. Eso sin contar el privilegio de poder disfrutar de un espectáculo de primera, al mejor estilo Reina del Pop, como su actual ´Sticky & Sweet Tour´.

¿Pero cuánto costarían las boletas? A juzgar por los US$4 millones que la cantante cobra por concierto, no serían muy baratas. Pero eso sí, valdría la pena. Al fin y al cabo es Madonna, "the one and only". Vamos, empresarios, negocien, lleguen a un acuerdo. El rumor, que salió en la edición de hoy de Diario Libre, se hizo eco en Dominican Today. Y no tardó en llegar a uno de los principales portales de fans, como MadonnaTribe.com. De este último sitio son las fotos que ilustran esta entrada.  

Fingers crossed.

Jo aiemmin ranskalaismediassa uskottiin vahvasti huhuihin, joiden mukaan Miles Away olisi Hard Candyn seuraava singlevalinta. Myöskin Internetissä liikkui huhuja, että Beat Goes On olisi Hard Candyn kolmas Amerikan single ja Miles Away Euroopan.

Single julkaistaneen vuoden 2008 lopulla. Videosta ei ole kuitenkaan vielä tietoa, millainen se tulee olemaan. Kiertuemateriaalista koostuvaa videota pidetään tällä hetkellä todennäköisenä.

Lähde: Madonna Foorumi

************

- Aivan... Ja Madonna on vielä Warner Brothersilla, khöm. ;)

- vi séries;

- comecei um post sobre novelas (é, novelas, sabe?) no pc do meu pai que ficou lá no word dele (não tinha um maldito de um wi-fi em volta)... qualquer dia eu recupero;

- tomei uma bronca por causa toda a postação que eu faço sobre séries no twitter (/_stella) que foi mais ou menos assim:

cena ext. (bar)

amiga 1: stella, o que houve que vc tá machucada?

amiga 2: ela apanhou do namorado (obviamente uma piada pq homem que bate em mulher merece aquele tratamento do filme meninama.com, sabe?)

amiga 1: é nada, tá na cara que a stella não tá namorando! eu vejo no twitter a quantidade de série que ela vê, ela não daria conta das duas coisas. [vira para mim] amiga, não pode, desse jeito vc se entrega muito na sua nerdice.

- fiz amizade com pessoas que não devo só pq me agradaram falando bem do Dexter (tipo assim: "vi por sua causa!" / "juuuuuuuura, quer ser meu amigo?!")

O que vou fazer na minha próxima longa ausência:

- domingo agora tem Emmy, a premiação que o povo da TV gosta de chamar de o "nosso Oscar". Festa nerds girls night in com comidinhas, bebidinhas e a gente se estapeando "tem que ganhar o House!" / "Calaboca, tem que ganhar Em Terapira!" / "Em Terapia my ass, se não ganhar Dexter vai ser tipo o fim do mundo".

Se esse fosse um blog sério, se eu fosse jornalista de verdade, no mínimo, ia comentar os prêmios na semana que vem. Mas duvido que eu consiga, aí o assunto vai ficar velho e eu nunca que consigo fazer as resenhas que gostaria sobre os episódios que vejo, anyway, então paciência, o blog é meu, eu escrevo quando dá (tô me explicando pra mim mesma, esse é um surto mal pontuado direcionado somente pra mim, que fique claro).

Um dia eu vou ter 1 lista de coisas "muito importantes" pra fazer jogada no fundo da bolsa e não 25, aí sim tudo vai dar certo.

Puntuación 8/10

Festival de Cine Fantástico de Sitges: Mejor Película, Mejor Guión, Premio del Público / Thriller psicológico.

Director: David Slade

Intérpretes: Ellen Page, Patrick Wilson, Sandra Oh

La película trata de una niña de 14 años (Ellen Page) que queda por el chat con un hombre de 32 (Patrick Wilson). Al principio parece que la película va a ser "normal", están un rato charlando en un bar, se conocen, tontean un poquillo y por fin se van a la casa de él. El es un fotógrafo infantil y tiene las paredes con fotos de niñas posando. Una vez en la casa siguen tonteando y empiezan a beber vodka.... A partir de ahí el hombre acaba atado de pies y manos a una silla y la niña empieza a registrar la casa porque piensa que es un pederesta. Luego pasará a torturarlo.

La película es un thriller psicológico, con unas actuaciones majestuosas de los dos protagonistas que mantienen un duelo interpretativo de gran altura. Llegas a vivir su angustia e incluso a darte cuenta de lo que está sufriendo el hombre (genial Patrick Wilson) y a ponerte de parte de la lolita (Ellen Page). Es una especie de cuento de caperucita donde la susodicha es de armas tomar.

Los fotogramas se suceden siguiendo los patrones de la publicidad y los videoclips y el sonido sin ser nada del otro mundo cumple su función sobradamente.

Sólo algún fallo de guión le ha impedido tener más nota, hay un par de escenas en los que se les ha ido la olla. Pero aún así es una película recomendable. Eso sí no es apta para gente muy sugestionable, porque hay alguna escena... y a los tíos que la veais os aseguro que vais a ver una buena parte con las piernas apretadas...

Madonna's abstract PSA for change and justice...

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Last year we brought you news of the Red Collection, a UK art company and its debut collection of art prints based on Madonna’s Confessions Tour. Ged Janczuk, photographer, designer and founder of the company says “Last years collection was very much a labour of love which started a year earlier, each design went through about a dozen proof stages before the final version.” When asked about the creative process behind the designs he says “70s music, especially Disco, is one of my favourite genres, so I was overwhelmed with the Confessions album and tour. The whole time that I was designing I was listening to a lot of 1970s LPs. I suppose a lot of the catchier dance-floor sounds influenced my mood. That collection was very colourful and very busy with lots of swishes and swirls. One piece in the collection ‘Let Me Be Your Guide’ was the figurehead of the collection, with the swooshing lines I incorporated a lot of stars, planets and nebulae. It was my homage to Madonna, 70’s disco and the beauty of the universe. I envisioned Madonna traveling through the universe creating a wondrous world of light and sound around her, the line from ‘Future Lovers’ seemed so apt and the rest of the collection grew from there.”

This week saw the launch of the 2009 Madonna Collection – utilizing exclusive photos by the Red Collection from the Sticky & Sweet Tour. The new collection is quite different from the last - being sharper, more dynamic – and very iconic! The 4 designs are 12 x 12 inches (approx 30cm) which makes framing easy. They are limited to a mere 100 copies each, printed using the lithographic process on heavy archive quality paper with a high gloss finish, discreetly hand numbered and embossed with a 3D seal of authenticity. Madonna Discography visitors are being given the chance to pre-order these artworks now with a 15% discount. Prints can be ordered separately or as a complete collection. The 4 new prints are titled “Savage”, “Zephyr”, “Attitude” & “Sugar”. To claim your 15% discount enter discount code: red during checkout at www.theredcollection.com

Hard Candy

Le retournement du monde

- Hayley (Ellen Page) et Jeff (Patrick Wilson)

par Kith

sur: http://insolitegrandiose.blogspot.com/2008/02/hard-candy-david-slade-2005.html

Le buzz qui entoure Juno (sortie française le 06/02), pour de multiples raisons (scénariste atypique, engouement du public, possibilité d'Oscar...), suscite un regain d'intérêt pour son interprète principale, Ellen Page. Laquelle s'est notamment illustrée dans le X-Men 3 de triste mémoire et l'excellent Hard Candy.

Présenté au festival de Sundance en 2005, Hard Candy y a suscité la polémique. Certains l'ont assimilé au shocker Saw projeté l'année précédente, d'autres ont (bruyamment) détesté, ulcérés notamment par la castration du protagoniste dont les testes sont ensuite passées au broyeur à ordure. Evidemment, dire qu'il s'agit là d'une des meilleures scènes du film pourrait prêter à confusion. C'est pourtant le cas, tant en terme d'interprétation que de ressort dramatique. Car Hard Candy est avant tout très bien écrit et très bien joué.

Le scénariste Brian Nelson part d'un postulat assez simple : renverser les modalités classiques de l'agression à connotation sexuelle. C'est la jeune fille à peine pubère, d'apparence naïve et inoffensive, qui entreprend de séquestrer et de torturer un prédateur en puissance. Une proposition qui pourrait vite virer à l'anecdotique, voire plonger dans la crétinerie gorno en se contentant d'en inverser les codes, si Nelson n'injectait pas une substantielle dose d'ambigüité et de subtilité dans son histoire.

Le réalisme du tchat entre les deux protagonistes qui constitue les premières images du film est un bon exemple de la justesse des personnages, justesse qui perdure lorsqu'ils tombent les masques (ou qu'ils en endossent d'autres). Car, sous son apparente simplicité, l'intrigue de Hard Candy, la jeune Hayley veut confondre et neutraliser Jeff, qu'elle pense être un pédophile et un assassin, recèle autant de fausses pistes (la castration sus-citée) que d'ambivalence.

Hayley semble gentiment ingénue, incroyablement cruelle, supérieurement intelligente, totalement insensée ou impitoyablement lucide, sans qu'on perce sa véritable nature. De même pour Jeff, est-il le monstre que pense Hayley ? Et même s'il l'est, mérite-t-il ce qu'elle lui inflige ? Alors même que ce qu'on croit être son châtiment ultime n'est finalement qu'un moyen de le ferrer définitivement.

Ellen Page et Patrick Wilson incarnent parfaitement ces personnages équivoques. A 18 ans, Page en paraît véritablement 14, légèrement androgyne, pleine d'une candeur enfantine teintée d'une froideur au-delà de la maturité. Patrick Wilson est à mille lieux du portrait fantasmé du prédateur sexuel en tant que monstre de foire et il n'en est que plus réaliste, et répugnant. C'est même sa normalité qui, au final, le condamne : il veut préserver son image et le souvenir d'un amour "vrai".

En ne rentrant pas dans un schéma binaire "monstre absolu vs justicier solitaire" (du type "L'inspecteur Harry bute les pédophiles"), le film empêche l'identification évidente et la catharsis facile qui sont les moteurs de ce type de récit. Il se paie même le luxe de rester flou sur les motivations de Hayley, en plus d'offrir une fin ouverte et de ne pas esthétiser la violence.

Finalement, ce qui a peut-être le plus choqué, notamment la f(r)ange du public qui se targue d'être friande de "transgression" et qui ne redoute rien tant que ce qui la force hors de sa zone de confort, c'est la mise en images du renversement du rapport de domination. Outre que Hayley domine psychologiquement son opposant, le spectacle d'un homme en larmes suppliant une gamine de ne pas lui faire de mal est aussi rare que l'inverse est fréquent. Si cela en a mis certains sur de métaphoriques charbons ardents, nous ne pourrons que nous en réjouir.
Sans que ça n'épuise l'intérêt du film.

Q : Hard Candy respecte-t-il la "règle de Bechdel*" ?
R : Le film étant essentiellement un huis clos entre une jeune fille et un homme, on pourrait penser que non. Pourtant, une voisine (Sandra Oh) fait une courte apparition et parle de baby-sitting et de cookies avec Hayley ! Le réponse est donc oui.

Par kith.

..................................................

ndlr: J'ai choisi de confronter au point de vue "féminin" de Kith cette critique très intéressante et assez représentative des interventions masculines que j'ai pu lire à propos de ce film au hasard de mes pérégrinations sur google , très instructif (d'ailleurs je suis convaincue que si ce film avait été scénarisé ou mis en scène par une femme, l'accueil aurait été encore très différent)... Vous noterez le passage concernant l'utilisation de ce troublant édulcorant sémantique: "loliphilie" ?

Intervention d'un certain Marv (lue ici) :

"HARD CANDY de David Slade

L’histoire :

Un photographe trentenaire donne rendez-vous innocemment à une jeune collégienne innocente de 14 ans rencontrée sur Internet en toute innocence. Après lui avoir fait boire quelques cocktails innocents, la fillette va se révéler être une véritable tortionnaire et va innocemment torturer son hôte tout aussi innocent.

SAVOIR C’EST AUSSI COMPRENDRE

(...) Sur le sujet traité, le film est en fait si innovateur et si intelligent qu’il aide mieux à comprendre que tout ce qui s’est fait auparavant sur le thème au cinéma.
Et pourtant, le film a la lourde tache de succéder au Lolita de Kubrick (ainsi qu’a son remake de 97 par Adrian Lynn), lui-même adaptation du livre fondateur de Nabokov.
Alors quel est l’apport du film ?

Dans un premier temps, ne pas traiter le pédophile comme un monstre mais comme un être humain (de la même manière que l’on traite Hitler dans La Chute). Ainsi, non seulement le mal a visage humain est plus angoissant, mais en plus il fait poser des questions au spectateur, se rendant compte qu’en ayant le même parcours, il aurait pu aboutir au même résultat. Ensuite Slade fait, tout comme Kubrick et Nabokov avant lui, une différence, une nuance essentielle entre la pédophilie et la loliphilie.

Mais alors, cher lecteur, tu vas sans doute te demander qu’est-ce que la loliphilie ?
Et bien, c’est tout simplement être attiré émotionnellement et/ou sexuellement par des jeunes filles entre 12 et 16 ans (d’où une moyenne de 14 ans représentée dans le film), ce qui est totalement diffèrent de la pédophilie, n’importe quel médecin qui a fait un minimum de psycho vous en dira autant (même si le terme de loliphile a été remplacé dans les bouquins de médecine par « complexe de lolita »).

Slade marque aussi une différence nécessaire (et celle-là est innovatrice au cinéma) entre celui qui passera à l’acte, celui qui passera à la barbarie et celui qui restera voyeur toute sa vie, passif, et c’est le spécimen qui est montré dans le film. Sans jamais justifier la pédophilie, Slade insiste donc (et il fait bien) sur le pourquoi et surtout sur le comment un homme normal et banal (ça pourrait être n'importe qui) peut être atteint d’un complexe de lolita.

Ce propos une fois posé, Slade peut raconter comme il l’entend sa version ironique du petit chaperon rouge.

LE VRAI MONSTRE DU FILM

Et c’est là que ça devient diablement couillu et intéressant. D’ailleurs n’oublions pas qu’à l’origine l’histoire du petit chaperon rouge a été crée justement pour « subtilement » mettre en garde les gamines contre les grands méchants loups qui voudraient les bouffer crues. C’est donc un juste retour des choses, ou plutôt un sévère retour de bâton dans la gueule que de montrer que le monstre n’est pas forcément celui qu’on croit, mais est en fait celui qui avait le masque le plus innocent, celui de l’enfance.

Parlons donc de cette monstrueuse Hayley, la petite croque-mitaine conçue pour faire peur aux aimants à écolières. « si t’es pas sage, un jour tu tomberas sur Hayley et elle te coupera le service 3-pièces ! », c’est ainsi qu’on met en garde ces messieurs maintenant !

Une des plus grandes qualités du film est d’avoir fait de la gamine une pourriture plus vicieuse et dangereuse que ce qu’elle combat. Car à mesure que le film passe, on réalise non seulement que le mec n’est jamais passé à l’acte, mais surtout qu’elle s’en fout royalement !

On le voit a partir du renversement de situation, elle prend même un malin plaisir à éxécuter son plan (qui d’ailleurs est révélateur de son immaturité puisqu’il ne fonctionne pas et qu’elle fait a peu près n’importe quoi dans les 20 dernières minutes du film).

Ce n’est donc pas d’une espèce de justice divine ou même morale dont il est ici question mais bel et bien d’une psychopathe ultra-violente, sanguinaire et sadique qui s’amuse à torturer physiquement et psychologiquement son adversaire dans sa propre maison. Certes il a un passé trouble. Certes il a été témoin d’un meurtre qu’il a été incapable d’empêcher. Certes il a fait boire quelques cocktails à une ado sans doute avec des intentions malveillantes. Mais il n’a rien fait qui mériterait dans un tribunal la peine de mort ou même la prison à vie. La soi-disante justice qui s’abat sur lui n’est donc qu’une vengeance aveugle se défoulant sur le premier venu pou peu qu’il montre certaines tendances.

En termes de valeurs et de morales, le spectateur ne peut donc pas raisonnablement ni se fier à la gamine, puisque c’est la méchante du film, ni au pédophile puisque nos préjugés et nos tabous nous inculquent que ce sont avec les nazis les pires représentants de l’espèce humaine. A ce moment-là, le réalisateur ne juge aucun des personnages (et heureusement) et offre donc 2 choix au spectateur : celui de se mettre dans le camp d’un des deux personnages puisqu’ils sont tous deux à la fois attirants, monstrueux et humains (et du coup identifiables), ou alors faire le choix conscient comme le réalisateur de ne pas juger les 2 personnages du film (ce qui serait stupide puisque ce sont des personnages fictifs) et de les appréhender comme n’importe quel personnage.

Ainsi le spectateur mâle s’identifiera automatiquement qu’il le veuille ou non au personnage de patrick wilson lors de l’incroyable scène de l’émasculation, qui même elle se révele être fictive (quel soulagement !), a des répercussions épidermiques importantes sur le spectateur. En d’autres termes, on se tient l’entre-jambe en imaginant l’incroyable souffrance de devoir subir cette perte, filmé avec énormement de tact et resséré sur lui a tel point qu’on a l’horrible sensation de subir cette opération nous-mêmes. Sachant que c’est pour un homme a peu près le pire choc traumatique qu’il peut avoir sur sa personne physique, imaginez mesdames alors a quel point on est scotché au film, et d’autant plus ravi quand on se rend compte que le gars est entier.

On comprend peu après qu’il a le choix entre s’échapper ou se venger de cette rencontre traumatisante. En optant pour la seconde voie, on comprend que personne n’est innocent et que ce qui se joue dans cette maison c’est un duel de gens dont la place est en hopital psychatrique et nulle part ailleurs. D’où un final presque décevant puisque forcément injuste et frustrant.

CELUI QUI A EMPRISONNE LE DIABLE DANS UN CORPS D’ANGE

(...) La classe.
L’intelligence de Slade vis-à-vis de ses contemporains est ainsi comparable à celle de Fritz Lang, le premier réalisateur a avoir en gros traité de la pédophilie et c’était rappelons-le dans M. Le Maudit. Comme dans Hard Candy, le film si il dénonce aussi de la monstruosité du pédophile (mais c’est alors plus grave, le bonhomme étant un vrai serial-killer à filletes), il y fait surtout une attaque incisive et brutale du peuple, de la masse rendue folle et en particulier ses criminels qui s’organisent pour attraper le pédo, et l’éxécuter. Lang faisait alors comprendre aux spectateurs que les tueurs ne valent pas mieux que le pédophile qu’ils ont tué. Les fillettes restent mortes, aucune véritable justice n’a été rendue, et le mal n’est pas vaincu si on ne combat que ses symptômes. Un propos qui est passé totalement à des kilomètres du public de son époque, au point que le film fut très apprécié par le IIIème Reich, Hitler et particulièrement Goebbels qui adora le film juste parce que le pédophile était condamné a mort. Lang se rend bien compte, horrifié, qu’ils n’ont rien compris au film (qui vomit le fascisme de son époque, rappelons-le, les criminels n’étant rien d’autre qu’un réseau fasciste).

Tout ça pour dire qu’on peut aimer le film en passant totalement a coté de son message qui est de dire : le monstre n’est pas celui que vous croyez, vous n’avez aucune idée de ce qu’il est réelement et si vous ne le comprenez pas en vous abaissant a son niveau (ou pire) de barbarie physique alors vous ne valez pas mieux que lui. "

........................................................................................

*La règle de Bechdel

samedi 12 janvier 2008

par Kith

sur http://insolitegrandiose.blogspot.com/2008/01/la-rgle-de-bechdel.html

La règle dite "de Bechdel" fait référence à un comic strip créé il y'a de ça presque 20 ans par la dessinatrice Alison Bechdel (Dykes to watch out for, Fun Home)*. La règle est énoncée par une des protagonistes de son strip et elle lui a été soufflée par une de ses amies, Liz Wallace, mais elle porte tout de même son nom ! Elle concerne le cinéma et les revendications qu'on peut avoir vis-à-vis des films.

La règle énonce "trois exigences simples", un film doit :

1/ avoir au moins deux personnages féminins qui…

2/ parlent ensemble de…

3/ quelque chose qui ne soit pas un homme. **

Dans la bande dessinée en question, cette règle sert au personnage à déterminer le genre de film qu'elle souhaite aller voir. Même dans un contexte plus global, il ne s'agit pas du critère ultime et indépassable pour déterminer si un film est bon ou (vaguement) féministe ou les deux ou quoi que ce soit d'intermédiaire. Il est cependant notable que les films (les grosses machines hollywoodiennes comme les productions plus confidentielles) satisfont rarement à cette règle.

Cela souligne cruellement la vision du monde d'une majorité de réalisateurs : un univers peuplé d'hommes qui font des trucs d'hommes (être en proie aux affres de la création, massacrer des gens, copiner avec des robots géants, sauver le monde, etc.) avec, éventuellement, des auxiliaires féminines : mère, sœur, épouse, copine, scientifique à la grosse poitrine… qui n'existent qu'en tant qu'elles se définissent par rapport au(x) protagoniste(s) masculin(s).
Le fait que le milieu du cinéma (dirigeants des studios, réalisateurs, scénaristes) soit très peu féminisé n'y est certainement pas pour rien.

Par ailleurs, la notion selon laquelle une histoire mettant en scène principalement des femmes occupe une niche particulière est toujours prégnante : les histoires "universelles" étant des histoires d'hommes, qu'il s'agisse d'être en proie aux affres de la création, de massacrer des gens, de copiner avec des robots géants et/ou de sauver le monde.

Cette idée vaut pour pratiquement toutes les formes de récits (voire, d'art) mais elle est particulièrement efficiente dans le cas du cinéma, qui est un art (parfois) et une industrie (souvent). Dans ce contexte, une rumeur selon laquelle Warner Bros. a décidé d'arrêter de produire des films avec un homme comme personnage principal est tellement absurde qu'elle ne peut pas se propager, mais l'inverse peut être crédible (avant démenti).

Pourquoi faire des films pour ce qui est considéré comme un marché de niche (les femmes, qu'il faut encore subdiviser par âge) quand les histoires "universelles" attirent un public plus massif et plus varié ? (voire, susceptible de retourner voir 300 ou Transformers trois ou quatre fois).
Parce qu'en appliquant la règle de Bechdel Transformers (3ème au box-office US) et 300 (8ème au box-office US) n'existent plus ? Cela peut constituer une raison suffisante pour un(e) cinéphile de bon aloi, mais pas pour les caïds de Paramount et de Warner.

La règle de Bechdel sert aussi à souligner l'immobilisme et le conformisme des productions cinématographiques, eut égard à la représentation des sexes.

Nota : Il est possible de faire un bon film (de genre) mettant en scène uniquement des hommes, mais il faut s'appeler John Carpenter. ***

* Voir le strip d'Alison Bechdel extrait de Dykes to watch out for : The Rule

* Récemment, elle a gagné en notoriété après un passage sur les blogs féministes US, notamment Pandagon.

** I only go to a movie if it satisfies three basic requirements. One, it has to have a least two women in it, who, two, talk to each other, about, three, something beside a man.

*** The Thing (1982). Notons tout de même que MacReady trouve le moyen d'insulter l'ordinateur qui le bat aux échecs et dont la voix est féminine (Adrienne Barbeau) !

Mercy. I am ready to be healthy and well again. This bug is driving me crazy, and I'm not referring to the housefly that's been buzzing around Gary's house for the past few days. That insect anomaly is so freakishly huge it could go toe-to-toe with a Cadillac Escalade and win.  Spooky.  Maybe that SUV-sized housefly ran over me Monday night, because my body still feels like it was hit by a large vehicle.

I managed to get a lot accomplished today despite feeling hazy.  Sent applications to a lot of opportunities - those I was made aware of after one of my meetings on Wednesday.  That was pretty sweet.  Even though I'm confident 'the job' will come through a referral of some kind, you still need to follow through on as many opportunities as possible, just to keep the good energy of a search like this 'activated.'

I HAD to do laundry yesterday, and laundry is a thrill no matter where and when it happens.  I only had one load of clothes to wash, so it wasn't going to be a major ordeal.  I'd found a laundromat only a few blocks from Fairfax and Santa Monica Boulevard, so thankfully it wasn't a long walk from Gary's.  I only had a paper grocery bag in which to cart my clothes, and nothing says "class" like walking into a public laundromat with a brown sack full of dirty unmentionables.  At least it was a Whole Foods grocery bag.  I mean, I have some dignity, people.

When I found this place a few days ago, it looked like a surreal, 'male-models-gone-slumming' social experiment gone awry.  Beautiful people washing their own clothes for the purpose of... wearing them again?!  What kind of sick world is this??  If I'd have stopped and continued watching that night, I'm sure it would have escalated into some Cinemax-level, soft-core, sudsy, locker room-pillow fight-underwear snapping-wrestling extravaganza... something I would've have willingly paid $1.25 or so to see.  That night I couldn't stay and watch, but I knew I had to be attired in some form of acceptable outerwear on my return visit.  By laundry day, I had one pair of clean jeans, and the only clean t-shirt available was the one with a permanent stain of unknown origin on the front, but nothing that couldn't be covered with this lightweight, hooded, jersey jacket zip-up I own.

As soon as I arrived, peering through the plate-glass windows, it was clear the modeling bus-and-truck tour had left town.  Disappointing.  It was just regular people like me.  Awww.  Why live in LA if not to be surrounded everywhere by fitness magazine cover models half-naked and lounging across the top-loading machines during the rinse cycle?!  Sheesh.  I'm tired of renting that movie.  I want to BE in that movie.  Anyway, walking through the door, the heat envelops me like an atomic blast... only one that smells like Snuggle rather than burning human flesh.  Exaggeration aside, I'm sure it was 163 degrees inside this place.  My gauge may be a little off, but I'd say that's accurate within 4-12 degrees.  I wasn't about to take off my jacket and admit to slovenly eating habits (or whatever else), so I just prepared myself for losing a few pounds of water weight that night.

The joint was jumping!  Most notable were a duo of trendy motorcycle lesbians (both with super-cool hair) washing their jeans and their dog/cat beds, and one man who had two 30-gallon trash bags worth of laundry.  He filled up machine after machine, which was no biggie because there were plenty available, but the laundry kept coming out of those bags like clowns out of a Volkswagen.  It was like he was reaching into these magic bags and pulling laundry from an alternate dimension into our own. Fascinating.

There was one dude who came in while I was sitting there patiently listening to my Hard Candy playlist.  He was cute, so of course I watched him.  A straight guy washing his jockstraps, so I knew he would have no clue I was studying his, uh, laundry technique.  First, he looked in the washing machine and removed a few items that had been left in there... a rubber band and a few other things.  THEN he proceeded to throw them on the floor.  The act of littering is so confounding and exasperating to me.  It is the epitome of laziness.  Apparently, it was too taxing to walk that three feet to the closest trash can and throw the items away.  ARGH.  You have to pick your battles, though, and this really wasn't that important in the bigger picture.  Still, I really had to fight back asking him, "Is your mother coming in next to clean up that mess?"

Next, he vigorously shook out all of his laundry items in this contained, overheated airspace for the rest of us to breathe in and savor. Shirts, gym socks, running shorts (with liner), jeans, t-shirts, bathroom towels... typical stuff. Why he hadn't done this step at home instead of this public venue is beyond my comprehension.  I thought of all the dirt, hair, pet hair, pet dander, bathroom germs, dust mites, lint, dead skin cells, fingernails, toe jam and countless other unknown, organic, crustified human secretion and body matter that was being forcibly launched from his laundry into the public breathing area.  This could've included just about any substance the body produces or contains internally or externally... I really don't want to get any more graphic here.  I'm sure your own, daily life experience will give you ample examples.  In the gym locker room, I've seen guys violate their bathroom towels in ways that would make the most iron-stomached person queasy, and here he is, shaking out a whole stack of 'em. Plus the liners of those running shorts contain all kinds of human DNA, and let's not even THINK about what's in them tube socks.  If this doesn't fall under the U.S. Government's classification guidelines for 'dirty bomb,' I'd be amazed.  It was definitely a Red Level threat of danger there in the laundromat.  I had to start controlling my breathing to prevent a spontaneous blowing of chunks on the floor.  Not that he would have noticed, the littering infidel!

I managed to keep my lunch down and soldier through.  Back home and still not feeling great, I wondered if huffing some Lysol would help stave of the Black Lung I was probably exposed to by having skidmarked, tighty-whities shaken out five feet in front of my face.  Eh.  Too complicated, plus there's that whole 'huffing can lead to death' possibility.  Maybe an extra hour or two of sleep will do the trick...