Warning: A lot of these pranks are a bit juvenile and some of them can get you banned from ever coming back to the restaurant (it has happened).  Seriously think about it before trying and do not do it if it is too extreme.  Some of these even I will not do.

Waiting

Some restaurants force you to wait.  This is a perfect first opportunity.

• If calling ahead for reservations, call with a complicated foreign name or almost dirty sounding name (careful, some may hang up thinking its a prank call).
• Or, even better, say it like "Ka-Noots," but then spell it "K-N-U-T-Z" even if they don't ask you to.
• When you get called, chances are it will be someone other than whoever answered the phone.  Make sure you make a big deal out of him/her mispronouncing it.
• Tell them your party is twice as large as it is, and the others are still coming.  Sit separated from each other as if the others will show up soon.  When you order deny you ever mentioned your party was larger.
• Have your entire party bring handkerchiefs.  Cough, sneeze and wheeze into them, pretending to fill the entire waiting room with germs.

Ordering

Chances are, your waitress/waiter is used to quirky people.  That's why you have to take it up a notch.

• When ordering drinks, make sure you express a lot of interest in the soup du jour.  Ask the waiter about every ingredient and act as if you are savoring it.  When ordering the food, forget all about it.  Ignore the waiter when he mentions it.
• When the drinks come, switch orders with your party.  Pretend that you ordered the iced tea and your friend next to you ordered the Coke.  Make sure you make the waiter do all the switching of glasses.
• Try to see if you can order an entree as an appetizer.  Insist on it.  When it comes, wait for everyone else's entree to come before eating.
• Insist on seeing the dessert tray before you order an entree, even if the restaurant doesn't have one.
• If there are a lot of people in your party, have one person order something and have everyone else, one by one, say they'll have what he's having.  Each time, he'll have to make a new number on his pad.  Likely, the waiter will have to check if they can serve that many of a particular entree.  Even if he comes back to say it's okay, have the first person change his order and, one by one, have everyone else change their order to that entree.
• Try to use coupons for fast food restaurants (for things your restaurant has), like free coffee or medium soda.

At the Table

Sometimes food can still be a long way off at this point.  Try to see how much you can get away with without being kicked out.

• Everyone fall asleep at the table.
• Go through all of the bread in the shortest amount of time possible and keep asking for more.
• Play the Left-or-Right game with waiters and waitresses carrying trays of plates and meals.  Basically, walk through the aisles aimlessly until you and the waitress are walking toward each other.  Try to block her path by figuring out which side she means to pass you on, and then walk towards that side.  Then switch simultaneously with her.  See how long this can go on.
• Take out McDonald's Happy Meal toys and play with them at the table.
• Be loud and obnoxious until the manager comes out.
• Light stuff on fire with the candle at your table.
• Play sword fights with the bread sticks.
• Have one member of your party change into a grim reaper costume in the bathroom.  When he comes back, have him stand behind another member of your party for as long as possible.  Have everyone ignore him completely.  Either stay there for the remainder of the meal and exit with the rest of the party, or have a watch alarm go off and walk out alone.
• Transform the table into a mobile office.  Do your best to bring laptops, land line phones, a cork board with papers and pictures tacked on to act as a cubicle wall, pen cups, staplers and as much other stuff you can think of.
• Take out food you brought with you and start eating it.

Eating

Here is what you've been waiting for.  Hopefully, you haven't completely filled up on bread.

• Make "OMNOMNOM" noises as you eat.
• Ask for extra napkins (if paper napkins).  Hide them when you get them (most restaurants give you hundreds to begin with) and ask for more.
• Treat your non-paper napkins like tissues.  Blow into them very loudly.
• If you are a man, ask for the ladies' room.  For a woman, ask for the men's room.  Do not make it seem like you are asking for someone else.  Then, go to the correct room (they're usually near each other anyway).
• Take a blender from out of your bag, find an outlet, and puree your food.
• Wear rubber gloves while eating.
• Drop anything you can find at your table into your drink.
• Count every french fry and complain that "there are only 56 fries.  Last time you gave me 61."
• Don't eat any of your food, have it wrapped, and have the waiter send compliments to the chef.

Paying and Tipping

The waiter and management thinks this is their big payoff, but it's actually your big payoff.

• Sign your name as something goofy on the check.
• Doodle all over the merchant's copy of the receipt.
• Tell your waiter the mints were the best part of your meal.
• Instead of the pen they provided, use a pink pen.
• Better yet, use red ink and mark the check with a circled "C+," noting all the poor quality foods on the check itself, and marking "good improvement" on the bottom.
• Leave the waiter grocery store coupons for tips.
• Leave the waiter a gift card for the restaurant you are at, if they have one.

The Exit Prank

Only do this once you are ready to leave.  I'd advise against actually doing this because the ensuing chaos could be dangerous and I am pretty sure it is breaking some law.

Disperse your party amongst the restaurant's empty tables.  Before any of the wait staff realize this, walk a few steps into the kitchen so that you cannot be seen by anyone.  Count to five slowly in your head, and once you have reached five, come out and scream "Someone has poisoned the soup!" at the top of your lungs.  At this cue, have everyone else in your party scream and run towards the exit.  Hopefully, the entire restaurant will do the same.

This is my most epic post ever

In walked Scoliosis Spice.

"Get out of here!" she shouted. "This is the ladies room!"

I bit my tongue to keep from pointing out that despite her polyester wig and homemade "gown" that she was, herself, not a lady, but instead tried to explain the situation.

"My friend asked me to come with her..." I started.

"That doesn't matter! Now get out before I throw you out!"

"He's with me!" my friend shouted from the stall.

"I don't give a damn! You are not allowed in here! OUT!"

"Who are you to throw anyone out?" I said, a bit annoyed.

"This is MY bar and I call the shots!"

"Well it's tragic and tired." I said, "And you have a lot more to worry about here than whether or not a dude is in the ladies room." The irony of the situation was more than I could handle--I was being yelled at for being in the ladies room by a crossdresser--all while standing in a bar that existed to serve people who did not conform to gender norms. I busted out laughing. "And how do you know I'm not just a butch lesbian?"

"Don't start your shit with me! If you think it's so tragic, you can leave!" She pointed her bony finger toward the door. My friend was done with her hand washing at this point, and trying not to laugh.

As we walked out the door, I turned over my shoulder and said, "I wonder if the folks at the Social Security office know about Grandpa's weekend job?"

The hunchbacked "performer" shouted about what a "F**in asshole" I was and we ran off laughing.

Now, as if that wasn't enough pissing and drag queens to last me a lifetime, today brought another chapter into my life. I'm working on a new law office, and was in my office today researching codes for the restrooms.

The owner of the company came in, and we started talking about choices for the stall walls. I googled something to the effect of "bathroom stall guidelines"--thinking as I hit enter that I would probably get thousands of Larry Craig related hits before finding what I really wanted. Now, the monitor in my office is HUGE...so the owner of the company was standing behind me, but well able to read the screen.

"How about that one..." he said, pointing to one of the top links. I clicked it to humor him, and was greeted with these words:

"For many trans men, using the men's room for the first time is a big step in the transition process. This section provides information on using the men's room safely, as well as on methods and products that can be used to urinate while standing. This includes devices that serve as both a packer and as a stand-to-pee (STP) device."

That's right! It was a guide teaching female to male transgendered people how to pee standing up!! I never knew such a thing existed.

"What's this?" he said, squinting to make out the words. I broke into laughter as his eyes scanned the first few lines. "What the..."

"It's something about transsexuals!" I laughed.

"Oh, I don't think that's going to help us."  he deadpanned.

Hopefully today's incident is the last experience I have that involves drag queens and pissing, but ya never know.

(In a shameless effort to win a contest--its now my duty to advise you to go visit MJ here: http://margeauxj.blogspot.com/ )

--Ladies Room

I've been so busy trying to get back in "the circle" that is Atlanta entertainment - I realized there were probably a thousand or so with me attempting the same feat.  So I grabbed my chalk and drew my own circle large enough to fit the thousands outside with me plus some.  Alas, this circle has an opening - you don't have to be anything but committed to what you do and have passion for it.  We call this circle The Ladies Room.

Why such a title you ask?  Well, have you ever heard a man scream if a woman walks accidently into the men's room?  It's just not as sacred.  I noticed that men congregate along the walls near the ladies rooms at clubs - don't deny it fellas.  They want to get a peek in at what is going on in there - other than the obvious - and whose coming out.  We're going to let you in - we are helping you get the secrets you need to be successful at whatever you do.  Being a DJ my heart is undeniably immersed in the music first and foremost.  

The Ladies Room has noticed that shine is being purchased these days instead of earned.  That being said, we hope to be the little engine that could who becomes the John Henry that beats the steam engine and plows through the payola mountain so the struggling TALENTED and DRIVEN artist can walk through with acceptance and less resistance.

So if you think you fit that bill - here is your chance to show all you have for your 15 minutes in hopes it turns into too many minutes for you to ever keep track of.  I've had a full 20+ years as a DJ and now I feel it's my place to pull up as many as I can; especially when you have worked as hard as I have.  Introduce yourself to our 3 million listeners here and then submit your MP3 or samples of whatever you do to diradiocast.com or djghost5000@gmail.com for play on our show and sister shows.  Here is where you can do the legwork to network your petunias off!

You can wait for your moment, or you can just go out there and make it happen - it's now or never.Ladies Room Episode 3_09

"Ladies Room"

Season One, Episode Two

One of the complications of using a pilot as a piece of misdirection, in this instance not revealing Don Draper's wife Betty until the very end of the episode, is that the need for exposition (a necessary evil in a series' first episode) lingers on.

In that sense, this is Betty's pilot, a chance to get a view into the life of a housewife in an era of uncertainty and confusion perpetuated by new-age psychiatry and the elusiveness of her own husband. Betty is a woman who just lost her mother and who feels as if she's missing a side of her husband (or five) that he never shows to her, without knowing that a few of them remain hidden even to his co-workers and his mistress.

With her introduction, the narrative of Mad Men's female characters comes fully into view, as Peggy's struggles on the job reflect upon the challenges women faced during the era in a frank and honest perspective. When jumping into this series, you really need to get through the second episode before you can understand where Matthew Weiner is taking us, with a whole new side to the story and continued subtle hints at the stories to come.

It takes some time to warm to January Jones' performance, one that should be getting some awards buzz leading into the Emmy Awards. I've seen some insinuate that her performance is all in the makeup, hair and costuming, but that's oversimplifying by half. Just watching this episode, you could call her character stiff or even lifeless, and some have seen this as a reflection of Jones' work, but this is where the character is located: she's playing someone who themselves is acting, constantly, and Jones gets more and more comfortable as her character does.

As she struggles with the mystery of the man in her life and how she fits into that mold, Sterling Cooper is fighting with another mystery: what do women want? The episode's central pitch is a new line of aerosol deodorant, and the question that Don Draper wants them to ask is "What do women want?" He doesn't want a psychological bullshit answer, ironic considering his unwillingness to allow his wife the same caveat in terms of his own relationship with women, but rather a simple explanation for what will make a woman buy a can of deodorant for the man in her life.

This is only the beginning of the strange relationship between Don Draper the creative director and Don Draper the man - how he treats the question of a woman's interest in an ad campaign is cold and realistic, and here we start to see the first signs that his decision to reflect many of the same qualities in the relationship with his wife is starting to take its toll. Betty is fighting to live up to a particular standard, and presumes (perhaps correctly) that Don's expectation is the model of the deodorant-purchasing housewife he creates for his account executives. This fact will, over time, continue to haunt pretty well all of these characters, if perhaps in different ways.

For Don, he finds his answer in Midge, another woman who isn't quite as prominent but nonetheless important. Don tells jokes to his wife about pornographic pseudonyms, while he talks to Midge about those bullshit psychological questions in an attempt to get work done. While some of his demeanor carries over between the two sides, in other ways that division between home and work displayed in the pilot is continuous, and at least somewhat describes how he uses Midge for both work and play.

In this episode, as the title suggests, we do get quite a lot of insight into the role of women within the universe that Weiner is creating. Here, they are a source of release (Peggy's own honeymoon of sorts remember her time with Pete, or Pete looking to blow off some steam with Peggy following a rough pitch), or ownership (Don's anger at Midge's television, clearly offered by another potential suitor); Sterling Cooper is awash with women crying in the bathroom stalls because these men are, for lack of a better word, pigs.

This is an oversimplification of their characters, but they certainly aren't done any favours in this episode: we learn more about Ken and Paul as we move on, but here they seem to be (to different degrees) claiming Peggy in some office ritual in which she does not feel comfortable. The show, at this point, actually needs to be careful not to over-characterize these men as hounds; while Pete is off on his honeymoon, there is still a sense that there isn't a decent man around these parts, a contention that is not quite true. Yes, they're all flawed, but at the very least they have reasons and the season does a fine job of explicating those as it moves on.

But for now, for Peggy, the world is a sea of struggles - she has Joan pointing out that she should probably enjoy this attention while it lasts since she isn't much to look at, she has all of the men looking at her, and she has the specter of Pete Campbell hanging over her. Betty, meanwhile, is in a place of supposed stability where her lack thereof is resulting in serious anxiety, and where therapy only makes her more anxious about everything that has gone wrong for her. And this will not change for quite some time, driving their storylines forward.

The conclusion of the episode, the absolute violation of Doctor/Patient privilege as Don contacts Dr. Wayne, Betty's psychiatrist, for details about her first session, reminds us that although these two episodes have partially divided male and female narrative introductions this is a world in which men can (and do) walk between the two as if it is their business. Although we get mostly Betty or Peggy's perspective in the episode, at any point in time these men will waltz into their space, violating their lives under some sort of relationship whether its perceived social hierarchy or the belief that a husband has a right to know. For now, they haven't done much to challenge this, but trust me: we haven't seen the last of these ladies, nor their final moments.

Cultural Observations

• You know that a show is a character drama when it has important exposition about how the ad agency works (Paul's tour he provides Peggy) in the second episode - it isn't really important to the point of the series, but it is nice to get a glimpse into how exactly things work at Sterling Cooper.
• Play close attention to the Nixon campaign, something that I really enjoy as it starts to echo throughout the season. Not only does it eventually require knowledge of the tour that Paul provides (Media becomes important), but it features the great Robert Morse as Bertram Cooper, the other half of the agency's title.
• The 60s references, as you can tell, are far more subtle here; when they mention the near-death of radio, the detriment of television, the space-ageness of aerosol deodorant, it never feels like the show is winking at us, screaming "WE'RE IN THE SIXTIES, REMEMBER?" at every turn. It wasn't that egregious in the pilot, but it is certainly more measured here (And throughout the rest of the season).

... who has wondered why, in ladies room that includes at least three stalls, the next person into the bathroom chooses the stall next to the one which she is already occupying? (Isn't there a code that implies that you try, whenever possible, to leave at least one stall in between you and an occupied stall)

.... who has ever stared at a public toilet, waiting for it to flush itself, before realizing that it is necessary to manually activate the lever in order to make the contents of the soiled bowl disappear?

.... who has ever frantically moved her hands up and down within the confines of a sink bowl, waiting for enough soap and/or water to magically squirt out so that she can sufficiently moisten and cleanse her hands after waiting in vain for said toilet to flush?

... who has waived her hands in front of a nonexistent sensor, expecting paper towels to automatically dispense themselves in sufficient quantity to thoroughly dry her hands, so as to avoid chapping?

... who has - after all of that! - wondered why she must touch the restroom door handle to pull it in order to exit, and if so, who has noted the absence of a nearby trash can into which she can conveniently deposit the aforementioned paper towel, after using it to pull the door handle in a sanitary fashion?

No??? Well then, what in the hell is wrong with me???

She walks into the building self-assured and confident. She is the picture of perfection, eloquent, friendly, smart and compassionate. She is perfectly groomed from her chic hairstyle to the soles of her custom made shoes; chances are she is a leader in her organization. She is the picture many of us have of what success is. She is a role model.

In our everyday life, what we really need to fulfil us is a decision to live for something bigger than self. That something is known as purpose. Adding value to yourself and others is a very important fact overlooked and ignored by many Africans. Take a good look at yourself in the mirror, a floor length mirror if it is possible. You look good right. The image before you is your greatest asset and it is your responsibility to always add to you. The way in which you take care and utilize all you have will determine the output, achievement and contribution you will make to your society and your generation.

One of the ways of adding value to yourself is by having a healthy self esteem, respecting your body by dressing modestly and smart. If you love and place value on yourself, you will do away with habits that do not support your purpose. Laziness is an example of a trait that can stand against your dream of one day starting your company. Another way to improve your person is to constantly upgrade on your qualifications, graduate studies, master’s degree, skills acquisition etc. learn to think, take initiative and follow instructions from the authority, your husband, your pastor and God. You can also learn skills and attend seminars that improve your skills, whatever your skills may be, be it comedy, dancing, writing, singing, public speaking, sewing, modeling or software designing, learn to constantly upgrade. The important point of note is as the years roll by; constantly add value to yourself so you do not become irrelevant to your world.

Another thing of note is that when you work to fulfil another man’s vision also trains you and you receive the skills to adequately work your own vision. It is often said that if you want to go far in far, you must cultivate mentors. It gives you a sneak peak of where you can be. Choose one of two mentor in your field that you admire, it is not necessary for you to like them; it is just necessary to learn from them. It is easier to be a millionaire when you have mentoring you and teaching you what works and what doesn’t, you will not make the mistake the mistakes they made. Like it is when you pick mannerisms and attitudes from the friends you hang with within no conscious effort, so it is when you listen and learn from mentors, you will unconsciously pick their character traits and habits and their winning spirit.

We all dream of fulfilling our dreams and visions by carrying out action. Until you actualize your dream, it is still just an idea. Remember, in your life and business, be purpose driven, and refuse to be intimidated by obstacles in the form of people or circumstance. Give time and attention to your personal growth and development and never ever forget your dreams. A person without a dream just exists. Keep your dreams alive. They are the expression of a unique person. Operate at your best this month.

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.A nurse noticed his predicament.

Sir, she said ' You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the
buttons on the wall.'

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

Each button was identified by letters: WW , WA , PP, and a red one labeled ATR.

Who would know if he touched them?

He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.

What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.

When the powder puff
completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.

'What happened?' he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.

'The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow.'

MEN NEVER LISTEN

Forwarded by: Ryan Val

Check it out.

Masih ada yang ingat The Ladies Room? Mereka adalah salah satu band yang sempat juga berkiprah di jatuh bangunnya musik lokal di Bali. Sudah lama band yang pernah saya bantu untuk memproduseri hingga mereka punya tempat juga di beberapa kalangan ini tidak beraktifitas lagi karena kesibukan masing-masing. Beberapa hari yang lalu saya bertemu kembali di Warung Aseupan, tempat yang dikelola teman baru saya Mbak Rita. Saya bisa berjumpa dengan Sukma, Gek Indah, Febby dan Dessy. Ladies Room cukup lama vakum di aksi panggung dan pergaulan musik di Bali karena masing-masing personel memang pada sibuk-sibuknya. Terlebih setelah Nanda, vokalisnya, mengundurkan diri untuk merampungkan skripsi, menikah dan mengelola agency model. Juga mundurnya kru Ladies Room yang tadinya sangat solid mulai dari SEA yang banyak melatih skill dan menyumbangkan lagu buat Ladies Room. Hingga diikuti juga oleh pamitnya Zupho dan Chombe. Otomatis jalannya progres perampungan album, upgrading skill bermusik juga sempat mandeg, terlebih saya sendiri juga banyak handle berbagai kegiatan edukasi dan riset seksualitas jadi tidak bisa banyak berperan lagi memberi dukungan moril. Tapi syukurnya ada suntikan semangat buat Ladies Room dengan masuknya Dessy, yang banyak juga malang melintang di festival band, bergabung menjadi vokalis Ladies Room yang baru. Tapi itu dia karena kesibukan Sukma juga di event organiser dan lembaga survey, Gek Indah di bisnis kecil-kecilan, Febby yang mengejar kelarnya skripsi dan Widie yang gawe di bank, kembali membuat aktivitas Ladies Room jalan di tempat. Satu yang jadi pelajaran, nggak gampang mengelola band cewek. Beneran!! Udah pada sibuk masing-masing, sering berantem dan nggak bisa diajak manggung sampai pagi.

Flash back dikit. Ladies Room awalnya berdiri memang karena misi sosial. Gek Indah dan Sukma motornya. Mereka anak KISARA (Kita Sayang Remaja). Nanda, Widie diajak bergabung berikutnya, serta terakhir Febby. Dibentuk tahun 2003 an. Berkat dukungan semua relawan KISARA dan tim yang solid dari SEA dkk, akhirnya mereka bisa menjadi band yang unik dan cukup diperhitungkan. Ajang-ajang sosial dan remaja sering dijajal hingga mereka bisa dikenal dengan band yang selalu membawa pesan-pesan positif buat remaja.

Kok bisa namanya Ladies Room? Nama ini bukan buat ngingetin toilet perempuan, tetapi memang murni karena mereka cewek-cewek semua, dan cantik-cantik maka sepakat untuk membentuk konsep yang "ladies" banget, jadilah Ladies Room. Nama-nama unik pernah menjadi tawaran nama buat band ini, mulai dari The Pretty hingga Monggo Mas Band. So, jadilah Ladies Room bisa eksis dengan personel waktu itu Nanda (vokal), Sukma (keyboard dan vokal), Widie (bass), Febby (Gitar) dan Gek Indah (Drum). Beberapa lagu menjadi jagoan mereka, dengan hits "Bajang Jani" yang pernah jadi jawara di beberapa radio lokal, juga ada beberapa lagu pop kreatif macam "Bulan Bintang", "Malam Minggu", dll. Dalam perjalanannya, dukungan pun mengalir deras, hingga nominasi musik bergengsi di Bali pun sempat mereka torehkan.

Menjelang akhir tahun 2005, Ladies Room masuk nominasi dalam dua katagori dalam GDA AWARDS 2005, yang merupakan sebuah event penghargaan yang cukup bergengsi di Bali. Ladies Room masuk katagori sebagai nominasi band favorit bersama band-band besar Bali lain seperti Lolot, Bintang dan XXX. Lagunya Ladies Room yang berjudul "Bajang Jani" juga masuk katagori Lagu Favorit saat itu. Beberapa media dan buku juga sempat memuat profil unik mereka.

Ladies Room sempat berhasil masuk dalam album kompilasi yang saya buat waktu itu, nama albumnya: " 5+1" bersama band-band potensial lainnya Cematu (sekarang personelnya di Jepang), Toom Band (sekarang beberapa personel main di indie, Cyber Machine), Biongo (yang kemudian berubah menjadi Free Zee, menjadi macan festival dan menjadi pendukung Gde Kurniawan n band), Vegasus (jagoan karangasem) dan Tirtha Band (personelnya pada kerja sebagai seaman), bahkan album ini juga menjadi 10 besar album terbaik di Bali saat itu. Rupanya kisah gembira tidak bisa bertahan lama. Setelah ini, perlahan geliat Ladies Room makin memudar, padahal banyak yang menunggu kehadiran mereka sampai sekarang.

Okay, bangun. Itu cerita kemarin. Sekarang ada apa nih? Rupanya Gek Indah yang tidak sabar dengan kevakuman Ladies room. "Tangan sudah gatal buat gebukin orang, ehh drum" katanya. So, semuanya ngumpul lagi. Tanpa Widie. Sukma sepakat untuk bangkit lagi. Febby sudah kelar skripsi. Dessy siap nyanyi lagi. Ladies Room sepakat buat bangkit lagi, tentu saja dengan mempersuasi Widie yang hari ini tidak hadir. Tidak usah muluk-muluk untuk ngejar album. Latihan kembali dulu, memperbaiki konsep bermusik, bikin lagu baru, rekrut kru baru dan bina hubungan baik dengan jaringan musik yang lain. Itu dulu. So, get ready to rock the stage! My ladies are back!!

Ladies Room, c'est un journal en ligne, écrit par des femmes. Tout le monde peut s'inscrire pour y poster son article, et c'est l'équipe qui choisit ensuite les articles qui paraîtront à la Une. Comme un vrai journal. Sauf que là, on peut commenter. Et avoir un joli avatar. On y trouve vraiment des choses intéressantes, bref, j'adore et j'adhère.

Et en plus je viens d'y poster mon premier article, ici. :)

I am so outraged. Like, speechless. (Well, my version of speechless is kind of word-heavy, but you get it.)

Those stupidheads at AMC are NOT GOING TO BE SHOWING MAD MEN AT ALL IN MAY. NOT AT ALL. NOT SUNDAYS AT MIDNIGHT, NOT WEDNESDAYS AT 3AM, NOT SATURDAYS AT 6AM TO COMPETE WITH ANGEL ON TNT, NOT ANYWHERE AT ALL.

Heard about this great new show but still haven't gotten around to seeing it? Been waiting for the latest run to wind up, (which it just now has) and maybe you've even read that the first two episodes will be airing over the next two weeks?

WELL TOO BAD FOR YOU!!! Guess you'll have to wait until July.

Way to build momentum, Jack. Or, what's that other thing... LOSE ANY STEAM YOU HAVE WITH POTENTIAL NEW VIEWERS WHO WILL FORGET ABOUT YOU ONCE THEY START WATCHING NEW EPISODES OF HOUSE AND ER.

Anyway, I think this little intro perfectly sets up the rest of what I had prepared. Enjoy:

I’ve been thinking it’s time to recap AMC’s sins. Some of you are new, but also, like when your shitty boyfriend starts acting all sweet lately, you might be losing perspective.

Let’s take a moment, shall we, to think back to a simpler, happier time.

July, 2007. It all started so perfect. I, like so many others (well, there were like twelve of us, including Matthew Weiner’s mom) had been breathlessly awaiting the premiere of AMC’s new original series.

We watched. We were smitten. We were beholden. We were in its thrall.

(And in some cases, we were unemployed, and so in those early, blissful, income-free days of summer, we watched the episodes over and over. In what turned out to be an uncanny lack of foreshadowing, AMC was repeating each one all over its programming schedule, all week long, both nights and days.)

Okay also we told our friends (and in some cases, siblings) about it. And many of them wanted to see it, but wanted to wait until they could see it from the beginning. A respectable choice in these Netflixian times. We hoped at least for a Mad Men marathon to play catch-up with. (Apparently there was one fairly early in the initial season, perhaps pre-midway through, but I somehow missed it. Was certainly not well promoted.) As the season rolled on, and writers were striking so there was NOTHING ELSE ON TELEVISION, and Mad Men was beginning to receive accolades, AMC just kept sitting on their golden egg, wiggling around, proud of what they’d laid but unwilling to share.

(Yeah. No Mad Men marathon leading up to the season finale. Whatever.)

And then a blog was born. Basket of Kisses beginnings coincided with the blowup that was Peggy’s giving birth. We were going to give that child a home. A basinet of kisses, if you will.

(Okay that was just weird. But I’m having fun so it’s staying.)

And we wait with the collective bated breath for one week later, right there in its regular time slot of Thursdays at 10pm (with an encore at 11) for Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, the pilot.

And now here is the recap, with links to outraged post after outraged post, of what AMC has done wrong. Wrong, wrong wrong.

AMC You’ve Harshed My Happy
The first thing I notice is that the pilot is chopped up into smaller pieces. The commercials are in the wrong spots. Also, they have done away with the cool little branded ‘fun facts’ that appear between commercials and tie in with the advertising.

AMC You’re Harshing My Mellow
Week two I’m all set to watch Ladies Room, and they skip three episodes ahead to New Amsterdam.

AMC You are Damaging My Calm
Nothing new here, I just continue to rant my devastation over the unnecessary, premature editing.

AMC You are Wrinkling My Smooth
Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water… they show episodes 4-6, then they skip to 10; Long Weekend. Included in what they skipped was Hobo Code!!! (An award-winning, revealing and important episode.)

AMC’s Got Stinking Paws
This is where I finally put it together that there were scenes deleted from the premiere airings. I knew they were chopping up the episodes, but I had assumed the content was still untouched, that it was simply a matter of shorter but more frequent commercial breaks (and shorter “acts” in between commercials). But no. Scenes and lines are missing. Not only that, but it has been this way since the very first. During the very first run, The 10pm airing was pristine and intact, and the 11pm was re-editing; missing scenes. Oh god, it still hurts to think about it.

AMC and I are barely on speaking terms.
So now the second run (if you can call it that, what with five missing episodes) is wrapping up, and what’s next? Not only are they showing it in the worst time slot known to time slots, but the AMC website buried the information. It’s like they don’t want people to find it. (It has since been reworded.)

AMC You are Perching My Nerves
This is just irksome. They are flooding the airways with Breaking Bad. Which is like, a great idea. Wish I’d thought of it!

AMC Schedule
And uh… this latest (midnight) run is almost done. You’d think your fans, both the loyal ones and the potentials, might want to hear some news about your future plans to air/not to air? Your scheduled for the airings (still in that same crappy time slot) for episodes 1 and 2, but can you maybe commit?

AMC You do NOT get points for this.
It hurts my heart. The AMC website is showing “deleted scenes” like it’s something to be proud of. And confusing the fuck out of viewers in the process.

Hope this helps. I am totally depressed.

Kisses,
Roberta

This has only been bothering me for 2 months.

Betty, to Mona: I don’t know if I told you, but my mother died three months ago.

Mona: (says nothing. Nothing!)

Ladies Room attendant, to Betty and Mona: I’m sorry. There are other ladies waiting to use the mirror.

So what you hear is:

Betty: I don’t know if I told you, but my mother died three months ago.

Anyone in the world who is finally responding to Betty: I’m sorry.

Alors que la Belgique vient (enfin!) de se doter d'un gouvernement,

Les femmes se lâchent et parlent sexe sur Ladies Room...

Matte un peu l'édito:

A la fin de la semaine, nous fêterons le Printemps et nous allons enfin pouvoir sortir de ce long et vigoureux hiver triste et monotone qui rendait nos relations amoureuses et notre libido aussi froides qu’un iceberg du pôle Nord !

Donc chères célibataires et couples en hibernation, nous sommes heureux de vous annoncer que cette période est sur le point de s’achever.
Préparez-vous à voir le thermomètre monter en température. Les jupettes vont fleurir aux terrasses des cafés, les teints blafards se hâler, les joues s’empourprer et les décolletés se déboutonner.

Les roucoulements des pintades vont se faire entendre et les ours en rut vont sortir de leurs grottes !
Alors pour fêter le premier jour du printemps, instaurons la journée «spécial sexe» !
On attend que vous postiez vos confessions intimes en cochant la case à la fin « Je propose cet article à la rédaction pour la Journée sexe» et vos secrets seront dévoilés vendredi !

Alors, comme il fait dégueu dehors, va donc y faire un tour, histoire de lire les réflexions éclairées sur le sujet de tout ce que le net francophone féminin compte en furies pleines d'ardeur... et de talent!

Celle de l'homme ?

C'est tout le reste de l'année.

En attendant que ce soit notre fête tous les jours,
vous aurez largement le temps d'aller visiter :

Ladies Room, le site des femmes à la page.

]]> http://ilovespicemagazine.wordpress.com/?p=98 Sun, 24 Feb 2008 21:59:23 +0000 icanspeakout http://ilovespicemagazine.wordpress.com/?p=98

Who calls the shots?

I was looking for interior décor styles that are out of the ordinary online when I stumbled on two articles which read “ten things a woman does not want to hear” and “ten things a dude will not want to hear” I read carefully through them and though they were interesting and fast-paced and certainly some of it was true, I noticed that a couple of things that were mentioned were witty but sadly untrue.

I realized that the media is a kind of big brother that somehow controls our thought patterns and thus our lives and our ideas about love. The media affects the way we live our lives, what we wear, how we speak, where we shop for aftershave, makeup kits, perfumes and colognes. ‘It practically runs our lives, if we let ‘it’. I wonder how many people have read such articles and have developed mindsets and thought patterns about the male and female gender. The amazing thing about the ‘it’ is that they control our hair styles, fashion styles and our lifestyles all without telling us once “this is what you should do” it is done simply by influence, if you can influence enough people, you rule. If you don’t believe me, ask Adolph Hitler about his dynamite plan to take over the world and how he started his vision. Influence is more than clout any day.

Many of us in this “y generation” as it were are extremely addicted to our gadgets. I mean we will be lost without our PDA’s cell phones, laptops and blueberry’s, oops! Black Berry’s. While I am not opposed to recent technology I believe there’s a limit to the stuff we let govern what’s wrong and what’s right. We feed our mind on that may condition us to think in certain ways. We are responsible for any stuff we feed our mind on. Like the computer slang goes “garbage in, garbage out” A highly respected persona once said “The difference between a man and a woman is the presence of a womb in a woman and the absence of same in man. Man and woman are capable of the same amount of business acumen and their mental, social and spiritual abilities can be at par depending on the demand they place on themselves. I believe a man or a woman can do as much good as they put their mind to, because the capacities to rise to the top in any field either professional or not are within them.

In the sixties, the women burnt their brassieres, in the seventies, the men and women were into afro’s and hipsters, in the eighties, music and drugs was the ‘in’ thing and in the nineties, in came the career woman and out went the idea that men were helpless in the kitchen and with children. We are in the decade following the millennium and it is in doubt whether women and men have learnt how to relate. I personally say let’s do away with the battle of the sexes because nobody ever wins anyway the battle did not do anyone good whether the male or the female. I suggest we call a truce and cease fire and focus on the good in life. I sat yes to causes that add value to lives. There is power in influence. This is why we ought to be cautious of who is influencing us. It is very subtle but we are influenced by the people closest to us who we interact with daily or respect and hold in awe. Let’s change our attitudes and choose peace over war.

It’s the love season and love is in the air. The good book says “love never fails” and that the greatest of all things is love. Let’s choose to be defined by love. Love has been given so many definitions by many people, poets, authors, preachers and presidents but one thing sticks out like a sore thumb. This is the fact that love is unselfish and patient and kind and all the many good unconditional stuff. The media has done so much good that I will not deny, but do not allow the media tell you who’s beautiful and who’s not, what is right or wrong, what is acceptable or unacceptable, what is love and what is not. The media cannot and should not define your values, choose to live by a higher standard, choose to decide the factors you allow to have influence over you, make the right choices. Love right this valentine.

Voici donc Xavier qui nous parle des femmes, de sa vision de la femme qui a changé grâce à l'arrivée de Prune.

[dailymotion id=x4fryd&v3]

He can't take credit for it; he knew they wanted some "old luminary". It was Tom Palmer who suggested him, and Weiner was thrilled at the idea.

(There's no one who reads this who doesn't know that Robert Morse originated the role of J. Pierrepont Finch in How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, and who doesn't get what a brilliant and hilarious nod that is to the fourth wall, right?)

He had to audition, like everyone. He wasn't at all insulted by that, but he "had nooo idea what was going on". He kept saying, So much yarn, so little time, which Weiner put into the show. (Was it New Amsterdam? In Ladies Room, in reaction to all the boys running around in t-shirts playing with Right Guard.)

He still doesn't know the name of his character. He calls himself Sterling Cooper.

Awesome.

Weiner then spoke a bit about the Asian-influenced behavior of the character. He said he'd wanted that from the beginning; that it fit the period. He said that while the shoelessness is Asian, he could also wear house shoes, but he took that from someone specific he had known.

And then he revealed...

Really, like most of the things that he does, they come off as eccentricities, but they're really a way of controlling other people.

See why we could talk to him for like... EVER?

So all through season 1, I absolutely believed that Don was contemplating suicide that afternoon; that's why he sat at the train. Sure he's a bastard: He's a bastard for walking in with no explanation or apology, for choosing a moment when his daughter needed him to fall apart like that, for acting as if there had been no crisis in the first place. But he's also so horribly wounded that it seemed to me that he could not for the life of him leave those train tracks. It just hurt too much.

Only now I don't think he was suicidal. I think it was the train.

The second major motif of Mad Men (other than birds) is trains. Don doesn't get off the train in his home town, leaving the real Don's body to be Dick Whitman. Don's identity is first hinted at (in Marriage of Figaro) on the train. Trains are escape.

One thing we learned about Don in Nixon vs. Kennedy is that he always wants to run away. Running away is the only thing he's 100% sure he knows how to do. I think, now, that's what he was contemplating in MoF, he was looking at the train and deciding whether or not to escape.

Women all over the world tend to be defined by their family, spouses, children or their work. This is prevalent all over the world but more so in Africa because many Africans are ruled and guided by traditional values. Talk about female genital mutilation, sexist behaviors, non-right to inherit, burial rites that dehumanize women, in our white sisters we talk about women trafficking, infidelity and unstable marriages, serial killing, lower salary scales and the challenges are countless.

Of all the challenges mentioned something is glaring, these are not the excuses for women to stay fallow and not accomplish all that they were created to do. Challenges are supposed to push individuals to attain greatness in spite of obstacles or mountains. Imagine if Rosa Parks had said “how will a little black woman like me stand up to this great white man, I am inconsequential” she would not have gone down in history, we would be saying who’s Rosa?

Ever heard of “running through troops” and “leaping over walls” majority of women who have ever made something of themselves have had to leap over wall of discrimination and criticism. To leave a legacy, it takes courage and grit and sheer determination. You must slay your giants and run through walls of discouragement and leap over the obstacles that come your way. Woman in the place of work have to make an effort not to be overlooked and will usually work twice as hard as their male counterparts to be praised for being good at their work.

Woman! When you run through your valley of doubt and desperation and press for your prize, remember that the prize is at the end of the marathon. If it were a 100meters, you would depend on your own strength, when the race is a marathon you must realize that along with preparation and inner strength and doing your work to the best of your ability, that is a factor that no one counts that will work for you. Keep in mind that “anything is possible”

This March month, as you plan to be the best you can be and succeed in your exploits. Choose to live by higher standards than your own set not by a Richter scale but by the One who knows your name and prices you higher than any other. You must price integrity and dignity higher than money. Do not be defined by society, tradition, family or friends. Be defined by the one with a higher standard. Define you. Define your relationships. Define your values and your entire life by the word that is ever true. Be different.