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* Another version of this article was published some time back under another title. During prayer time today, I felt led by the Spirit to bring it forward and post it a second time. Perhaps there is someone out there who needs it.

Many times I find I have to remind myself to keep things simple when it comes to my walk of faith. I am a thinker, a questioner, and an unapologetic mystic by nature and taking things on face value is sometimes difficult for me. Still, I do need to keep ever before me the principle of simplicity and work hard to refrain from climbing aboard my train of thought when it pulls out of the station, bound for a destination I know from experience is not worth visiting.

I am fortunate and thankful that for some years now the Holy Spirit seems to be both alerting me when I am about to let my thoughts get the best of me and assisting me in refraining from doing so. I still have major problems with this but I am getting better.

In my own case, this admonition of the Spirit to keep thing simple means that I have to make every effort to not get caught up in my thinking. An old buddy of mine who has been sober in Alcoholics Anonymous for over 30 years now once told me that the most valuable lesson he learned early in his recovery was that when he was alone he was “behind enemy lines.” In some ways, I think this can be true in my case as well. I have a marked tendency to over-think things, especially spiritual issues, and, as a result, experience one of two mental states and neither is positive.

In the first case it seems that when I climb on board the train of my thought and allow it to leave the station with my ticket punched, I many times never arrive at a destination. Instead, I end up confused, frustrated, angry and, in the final analysis, spiritually paralyzed. This state of affairs makes it difficult for me to apply certain aspects of the Lord’s teaching to my daily life, which ends up making me even more frustrated.

These situations tend to occur when I become somewhat obsessed with some aspect of the Christian faith that I find especially hard to understand and/or accept. For example, I have major difficulty wrapping my mind and my heart around the whole notion of what theologians have long called the “substitutionary atonement.” This is the idea that the blood of Christ, shed on the cross at Calvary, somehow appeased a wrathful God that was more than a little ticked off with us humans because of our disobedience, otherwise known as “sin.” According to this theory, we owed God big time and, to make matters worse, there really wasn’t any way we could pay up. The only solution was for God to come down here, take on flesh, and be sacrificed in order to pay the debt.

I am well aware of all the explanations of this doctrine as well as the notion that blood sacrifice of animals was a common practice among humans since recorded history began. I am also aware that it was the central practice of the Jews. On the Day of Atonement the people brought their sacrifices into the Temple and they were offered up to God as a covering for their sins. The Old Testament is filled with the details of these sacrifices and, at least to the casual reader, they make Jehovah appear to be a barbaric tyrant whose forgiveness and clemency must be purchased with the currency of life and blood. Those who support this notion of substitutionary atonement put forth the idea that Christ was sinless and the ultimate, perfect sacrifice. His death on the cross appeased God once and for all.

I must confess that I still struggle with this teaching. I cannot fathom how God, the incomprehensible intelligence that forged this universe, would somehow be moved to mercy after a man in colorful robes and a big hat walked into the Holy of Holies and slit a lamb’s throat. Even now, after all these years of being associated with the faith, as I sit here and type this I am appalled and mystified.

My reaction to Mel Gibson’s film “The Passion” was not like most. I walked out of the theater wondering, “What kind of God would require such a hideous thing?” My conclusion was: God wouldn’t.

This is an example of how I have, with the Holy Spirit’s help, learned to put certain issues on the shelf and not waste valuable spiritual energies trying to resolve them in my own way and in my own time. In terms of the “Substitutionary Atonement,” I eventually came to a resolution on the issue and, in so doing, was able to clarify several other issues as well.

In the second case, I sometimes allow the actions and thoughts of others to drive me to distraction. For example, when a Christian leader of the fundamentalist/conservative persuasion does or says something that is patently stupid and offensive, but gets a lot of press nonetheless, it tends to get me riled up more than it should. Rather than letting this slide off my back as I should, I start over-thinking the event, ruminating on how it is these very sorts of things that gives Christianity such a bad name in our society, and just in general working myself into a lather. I especially have to struggle with this issue during election years, like this one. When the Religious Right, joined at the hip with the Republican Party, engages in dishonesty, distortion, and other forms of “less than Christ-like” behavior, all just to gain political leverage, I am disgusted and find myself wanting to flee any association with Christianity.

A prime example of this second tendency to let my mind run away with itself occurred a few years back when a very prominent Christian leader and pastor advocated “taking out” the President of Venezuela. I was mortified as were many other sincere believers. My suspicion is the Christian leader in question didn’t have his WWJD bracelet on that day.

On more than one occasion, these very sorts of happenings have nearly convinced me that it would be best if I just jettisoned Christianity altogether. I have explored many faith systems over the years and can see much benefit in many of them. When I work myself up to a near-Chernobyl state of mind over the comments or stridently-voiced opinions of a believer who thinks he or she is the final authority on God’s truth, a big part of me wants to declare myself a Buddhist and be done with it.

It would seem, however, the Hound of Heaven will not allow me to take such a course of action, no matter how much I may want to. I am, at the end of the day, eternally grateful for this. I love Christ, his mission, his Holy Spirit, and his faithfulness to me when I am far less than faithful to him. Further, I believe each of us, myself included, has a specific mission to accomplish in this life and if I, like Jonah, head in a direction other than my own revealed Nineveh, I just might end up in the belly of a whale.

I am sure some of you can’t relate to this dilemma of over-thinking things that either you can’t get your mind around or you just can’t tolerate. For you fortunate souls, all I can offer is the suggestion that you express a deep thankfulness for being so blessed. As to those of you who are afflicted as I am, I can offer the strategies that seem to work for me. I hope you find that they work for you, at least to some extent. However, I also understand that we are all wired differently and what works for me may not be your solution.

I have found that with all things it is best to begin with prayer. I ask the Lord to help me where I can’t help myself. I confess that I have major difficulty accepting certain things, or that I am angry at a Christian leader who said or did something that most civilized people would consider an affront to either reason or personal dignity. I ask for a forgiving spirit and to have the capacity to put away those aspects of the faith that I can’t understand or accept. I also ask for wisdom just in case it might be the Lord’s prerogative to give me valuable insight into the issue I am ruminating about.

After prayer, I have found that focusing on the very basic principles of my worldview is of immense help in keeping things simple on the cognitive front. In essence, what I remind myself of is those things that I do firmly hold to be true and, beyond that, give the rest to God.

Fueled by prayer, I next engage in the ongoing and often difficult process of taking every thought captive for Christ. By this I mean that I do not allow myself to get past the first one or two thoughts on one of these issues. I just shut it down, period. There are times when I will pick up a troubling issue and let my mind work on it, but these days I try to do this only by appointment. In terms of my thoughts, I now try not to accept “walk-ins.”

(c) L.D. Turner 2008/All Rights Reserved

But when that same reversal happens to people with a negative perspective on life, they view it as confirming what they already believed: life is basically a disappointing experience, a string of defeats interrupted only by the rare glimpse of victory. They believe those events confirm that they are losers, destined to stub their toe with every step they take.

To put it another way, positive people don’t react to life; they respond. Responding is positive; reacting is negative.

Zig Ziglar

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticise others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear; and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

This is from a book by Christian D. Larson (1912).  I find this promise inspiring, and it charges me up daily.  Try saying this promise to yourself daily and let's see what happens.  Share your experience on this blog.

Interzone has always championed a dark and pessimistic vision of SF. And it has always championed stories that live in the borderlands between scinece fiction, fantasy and mainstream literature. By their very nature, those stories tend to be darker and more pessimistic, and that has tended to make Interzone a counterweight to mainstream science fiction through the decades that the mainstream was a happier, more optimistic place.

But at some point in the last decade or more, the scales between optimism and pessimism tipped, and mainstream science fiction is now dominated by pesimistic visions of our dystopian future. Its a change tied in some way to the waves of British science fiction writers from Ballard through Banks. Trust the Brits to spread darkness, misery and pessimism wherever we go!

But to keep moving on science fiction needs to keep its wheels revolving. As is often noted, revolution is often a process of rediscovery. Maybe what we need now is not a Mundane SF revolution, but a Happy SF revolution!

What would such a revolution consist of? Not, in my view, stories with 'an optimistic view of technology', or a return to the values of golden age SF that some people call for. Revolutions that attempt to roll back the clock like that are always bloody failures. No, what we need are stories that look forward and find genune, credible causes for optimisim about our future.

Those might be technological causes. I don't think android labour will free us all from the evils of work, or that we will live in glittering metropoli with hover cars. But just maybe, if we can see our way to it, technology will lead us to a post-scarcity society where our children will hear the word money and say 'What is that?' Or perhaps they will be political, maybe far from the Orwellian big brother future we all fear, our systems of goverment will evolve into a free flowing anarchy where every human looks after every other when in need. They might even be personal, maybe in the future every geek in the world gets to date a beautiful person of their desired gender. Hurrah for the ranks of SF fandom!

Yes, I know, its all been done. But maybe we need to do it more. Much more. And in new ways that haven't been done. That IMHO seems like more of a revolutionary act in the context of contemporary SF than yet another brooding, dystopian vision of the future.

http://my.barackobama.com/page/outreach/view/main/Frazier

As the new school year starts, I am full of optimism for my children.  As a class, we set goals for our futures.  These range from the traditional to the wacky.  Most claim an interest in college, and several usually espouse a preference for a career in rap or professional sports.  I take the job of getting students like Brandon to college (or becoming a successful rapper) very seriously, yet with the recent addition of Governor Sarah Palin to the Republican ticket, I've grown even more concerned about the futures of my middle school kids.

These are students who are already facing issues of poverty, lack of quality health care, and agency in our political system.  It is now becoming clear that Republicans have a a true chance at winning this election, despite presenting a platform eerily similar to President George W. Bush, a veritable poster boy for failed representation of minorities in America.

As I imagine my students in various professions, be they doctor, lawyer, or the baddest MC on the East Coast, my hope for their success diminishes greatly under yet another Republican administration.  I shudder to think of a female student who has no choice in whether to have a child, or a male student killed in the never-ending Iraq War.  I wonder if college will be remotely affordable for students whose families inform me they need assistance paying for field trips.

In social studies we talk about the value of citizenship, but another Republican administration means more people, like the students I teach, remain second class citizens in America, restricted from the best resources available.  Despite what we may believe in our liberal bubbles, Sarah Palin could be selecting Supreme Court judges with the power to further discriminate against our rights as citizens. Please, help me support Barack Obama so that my students can follow their first-choice dream, and should rapping not work out, at least get a quality college education.

Learn how to donate here at my personal Barack Obama website

Oh, don't worry, I'm still a sarcastic and biting son of a gun, but I know something you don't know, and it's really been keeping me aloft pretty regularly over the last little while. 

I suppose now would be a good time to dwell upon the peaks and troughs of life, but I'd much prefer to continue immersing myself in the first real patch of unadulterated bliss since my high school days. 

Writing makes me happy. Not here, so much, but in general. Being able to categorize myself as such, and receiving little (trivial, even) affirmations on a regular basis has done a lot to solidify my notions about who I am.

And, I know something you don't know.

Hey, have a little Chesterton for now. This quote had me at "hello."

Yet He restrained something. I say it with reverence; there was in that shattering personality a thread that must be called shyness. There was something that He hid from all men when He went up a mountain to pray. There was something that He covered constantly by abrupt silence or impetuous isolation.

There was some one thing that was too great for God to show us when He walked upon our earth; and I have sometimes fancied that it was His mirth.

Optimismul vindecă mai repede bolile, cred americanii. Studiile arată însă că pofta de viaţă are limitele ei.

O stare de spirit pozitivă îi convinge pe cei mai mulţi că e eficientă în lupta cu maladiile, observă cercetătorii, iar o seamă de studii recente par să le dea dreptate. Potrivit unui studiu realizat de Universitatea Ben-Gurion (Israel), femeile care au trecut prin divorţuri sau prin decese în familie sunt mai predispuse la a fi diagnosticate cu cancer de sân decât cele cu o viaţă mai stabilă.

Starea emoţională nu este cel mai sensibil indicator, spune în replică James Coyne, directorul Departamentului de oncologie din cadrul Abramson Cancer Center din SUA, care dă exemplu cancerul de gât şi cel cerebral, care nu „răspund“ la buna dispoziţie: „Problema cu cancerul este că e o maladie foarte complexă.

În momentul în care este diagnosticat, acesta poate să fi pătruns în corp de ani buni“. În cazul altor maladii, oamenii de ştiinţă dau credit optimiştilor şi dezvăluie că starea de spirit poate prezice dacă o persoană va suferi un al doilea atac cardiac.

Explicaţia ţine de faptul că sistemul imunitar interacţionează cu creierul. Cum imunitatea joacă un rol în inflamarea arterelor, care poate declanşa un atac cardiac, se poate face o astfel de conexiune. Starea emoţională mai poate afecta sănătatea şi prin modul în care pacienţii se motivează să urmeze un anumit tratament.

„Dacă o persoană gândeşte pozitiv, sunt şanse mai mari să urmeze un tratament sau o dietă. Pe când atunci când treci printr-o depresie, dormi mai prost şi asta afectează sănătatea“, spune Anne Harrington, profesor în istoria ştiinţelor la Harvard. Harrington avertizează totuşi că „interpretarea eronată a acestor cercetări îi poate determina pe oameni să le fie teamă să-şi exprime adevăratele sentimente, lucru care poate fi extrem de stresant“.

Citeste in original acest articol din Cotidianul

Well the fault is mechanical i.e. could have happened to anyone, I think. On my way to work just a few 100 metres from home I could not change from 2nd to 3rd gear. I could feel some smoothness in the clutch and I knew something was wrong. My mind worked quickly though and I managed to turn back and park the car back in the drive way. Luckily for me I was on an incline and on my way back I had a slope and the car had enough power to climb up our steep driveway.

After I had parked the car I wondered - why me? why now? But after some deep thinking I realised it could have been worse. What if I was moving up a busy road? What if I was in town? surely it happened at the right place maybe not the right time as I was rushing to work. This "unfortunate" situation made me realise that we can see the good in bad situations!

Count your blessings, analyse every incident and think of a quick solution before you start wrenting, swearing and cursing. It could have been worse, but thank God it turned out like it did. Now I have to figure out a way to fix that car. Word of advice, buy a brand new car and you probably won't get caught up in an unfortunate situation.

Thats life!

I've been so focused in my studies I haven't taken the time to reflect upon what I've learned.  I get so tired, mentally, I just want to waste my free time away on things that don't involve much critical thinking.

I've been fairly isolated.  I ventured out with a couple old friends a few weeks back and partook in activities I had not done in at least a year.  It was very strange.  I did a lot of talking and thinking as I always did, but I felt uncomfortable.  I had trouble engaging my peers and I preferred writing my ideas out in general concepts. When I read what I'd written, it was pretty much a review of topics covered in my classes.

What I tapped into during this altered experience just reified how focused I am within academia.  Sometimes it seems like I'm one of those "all or nothing" people.  The more I know myself, the less it seems that I am a multitasker.  Yes, I can do different things within the same period of time, but when it comes to doing something absolutely excellently, I can only focus on one thing.  So far.  My next goal will be to learn to balance all important aspects of my life.  Right now I am just so desperate to complete my BA I can barely think of anything else.

I just had a vision of life being densely packed with many opaque layers.  I'm envisioning it as a sort of flower or fruit.  In this momentary vision, I saw a layer removed.  Age does this.  Experience does this.  In reflection it seems as though my person, my essence, my soul (however you wish to classify it) is born as some thick, densely packed object.  My goal is to reach the center.  That center, to me, is Enlightenment.  But there are so many layers to get through and they are all opaque.  I have no idea what's in the center (Tootsie Roll pop jokes will be checked at the door, please) and I don't know how long it will take to get there.  But I know there is an imperative for me to get there.  I don't know if the imperative is natural/instinctual or learned and it doesn't seem to matter.  I need to get there.

The path to get there is curious.  I think I am over the attempt to arrive there religiously.  As in through an established world/organized religion.  Right now I'd say I've got most of my eggs in the Academic basket, but part of me knows it's not that simple.  I think  I will spend the rest of my life stumbling along, slowly uncovering layers until that final glorious day.   I  have this feeling that  I may only  uncover that final stratum on the day I die, because no human could continue living life as we know it once the truth has been unmasked.

I often wonder if all my contemplation is alienating me or bringing me closer to the human community.  When I am in social situations, which has become rare these days, I feel as though I am a spectator.  Have I already become the anthropologist, the ethnographer? Being an insider has become difficult.  I feel awkward as a participator at times.  I'm not there right now, mentally.

I feel like a balloon that's lost its anchor to the earth and is slowly ascending toward infinity.  I wonder when I shall lose grasp of my corporeal vessel.  (I hope it's not soon.)

Occasionally, I think humans are predictable disappointments.  But I want to focus on what I don't know about us.  I'm really sick of the world the media glorifies.  And it's no surprise I am so disappointed in humanity if what I see on popular tv/film/etc is a reflection of society or of its ideals.  I think that's why I'm so drawn to Anthropology.  I have a desire to learn about cultures that aren't my own and through the study of other cultures, I hope to understand my own better.  But it doesn't just stop at culture.  I want to know why we are the way we are.  It's a pretty lofty ideal.  Maybe I'll never achieve it, but I think I'll have some fun traveling on that road.

I've managed to lose two of my closest friends this year.  We were those girls that you would see... and we'd be the biggest retards in public (probably irritating everyone around us), and we would call each other our sister from another mister.  I practically lived at there house on the weekends... and we were what I always though of as an adopted family.  However, through two specific incidents, they both turned there backs on our friends.  I can't explain the feelings that were going through me... all I know is... it didn't hurt.  It was as though I broke a nail... which irritating but nothing more.  I always thought that if anything happened to our friendships... I wouldn't know what to do with myself.  But I just learned that... where I looked at friendship as a relationship to cherish... my friends just looked at it as a relationship with interchangable individuals.  So... in actuality... what ended up hurting the most... was the fact that I feel for, and accepted, a half assed friendship. 

As soon as all the dust settled with that situation... instead of turning to other friends... I decided it was family all the way for now.  I just needed that understanding that I knew only family knows.  Because honetly... no one knows me like family.  My cousin and I have always been close... two peas in a pod kind of thing.  We've gone through a lot as not only family... but as best friends.  In fact, she had just split from her fiance last December... so while I was going through everything with my friends... she was going through a lot of crap with her fiance.  Over the next 6ish months a lot of bonding... venting... and crying happened.  And I finally thought she was moving on from her fiance... but then I learned that she met up with him on her drive home from my house.  And she stayed the night.  It was amazing... her fiance calls her a whore on a Thrusday... and on Sunday she decides to forgive him.  Wow.  Oh wait... and she lies to me about it.  Here's a person who I thought knew me better than any other individual.... and understood that it doesn't matter what you tell me... as long as you tell.  Because honestly... omission is lying.  No joke. 

So here I sit.  Thinking and wondering just what is in store for me in the last four months that is left of this year.  I know I'll survive... because that is what we do.  But I want to do more than just survive.  I want to learn the positive from the negative.

Si nu,nu sunt inconstienta.Sunt doar optimista.

God is great.  God is good.  And... I thank Him for another day to love Him and serve Him!

from Leadership Courage:
The proposition that optimism leads to success is not just a theory, it’s a researched-based fact. Martin Seligman, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, has proven that optimists are more successful than equally talented pessimists – in business, education, sports, and politics.

Some people think that optimism is about living in a Pollyanna world where everything is nice and bad things never happen to good people. Well, nothing could be further from the truth. Optimism really is a courageous state of mind – one that comes from a person’s desire, effort, and choice to accept and make the best of difficult situations. Certainly, the road of optimism is not without its potholes. And that’s especially true from those in leadership positions.

If you serve as a leader long enough, you’ll undoubtedly come face to face with setbacks and unexpected events that have the potential to be devastating. People and situations change, and your ability to remain optimistic will surely be tested against fear of the unknown. Refusing to engage in the all-too-common “woe is me” lament takes courage.

The optimistic leader believes that defeat is a temporary setback – isolated to a given situation. He or she wants the best possible outcome and therefore concentrates on finding something positive and hopeful in what appears to be a hopeless situation.

They can occur at any given time ... and via any given thing and/or person.  Someday I will make a collection of our God Winks ... but if ever there was one needed today ... God winked in the most unusual way!

I've been feeling a string of worry around my thoughts today ... the brown discharge has yet to go away ... some cramping has started again on the right side ... and even a bit of red spotting has started.  I know in most cases this is normal ... nothing to worry about ... but I can't help but feel a bit freaked out.

Brian and I have said our prayers ... and I have been trying to keep visualizing how well and wonderful all is going ... and will continue to go ... but still, every time I go pee I find 'stuff' and it is scaring me.

My rear is also very swollen and painful ... it actually feels like a goose-egg under the skin.  I'm going to call the doctor's office in the morning and see about going in so they can check the area for me and maybe test my progesterone.

Anyway ... I was in bed with an ice pack on my butt.  I don't usually watch TV, but tonight the show Deal or No Deal caught my eye.  The lady on there was pregnant!  She was so hyper and funny ... and so very positive!  She said she didn't believe in luck!  She said she had been visualizing this and knew how it would all work out!  Well ... she was right ... she is the 1st million dollar winner ever on the show!!!!! 

Of course my emotions are all weepy ... but as her and her family jumped around the stage I couldn't help but shed a few tears.  Not because they won the money ... but because I felt it was like a wink and a nudge to stay positive!

I'm sure I'll fall asleep saying my prayers again tonight ... more 'red' is starting to show ... but I will keep my thoughts and prayers alive ... I will walk by faith ... not by sight!

After commiserating with people for as long as I can remember and realizing that the perpetual frowns on their faces may be enabled by my own, I finally hit a major turning point.  For awhile, I knew that my pessimistic spirit brought people down and chased friends away, I felt as if it couldn't be helped, it was just a part of my nature.

Granted, this world is fallen and I can't wait for Christ to return again, but I think that it is very important to remember that God has given me the following gifts - not in particular order of importance:

1) The gift of God's salvation throught Jesus' death on the cross (okay, that is very very paramount in importance)

2) A brain to carry out everyday functions, such as movement and thinking. 

3) Funds to buy enough food to keep my tummy full - despite my lack of full time employment.

4) A family of parents, brother and a dog.

5) God has given me a love for animals

6) My friends

7) Solitude - I like spending a lot of time alone. 

8) Ability to cook

9) Coffee!!!!!!!!!

10) Cleaning products.  I like the smell of cleaning products and I love cleaning!

Okay, with that in mind, it is time to go wash some dishes!

Teenagers, filled with angst, confusion, simply loss of direction need a guideline. Where on Earth do we find that??? How do I KNOW, How do I KNOW WHAT I KNOW, How do I KEEP WHAT I KNOW, How do I KNOW life is even worth living. 

Nietzsche once said that if one could find a WHY to live, we could live through any HOW.

BUT what is this WHY in my life?

Hopefully, I will have this figured out after these very painful tumultous raging hormone filled years. Do I live for love? For work? For meaning just for the sake of finding it? I need answers. Do I turn to religion? To myself? To an unknown deity?

I have concluded (but this is bound to change reflecting my emotions) that I must turn to myself. To find meaning arising from my own needs, wants, desires. Even when there is no hope, when even seeking that silver lining is futile, there is bound to be that sliver left in my soul, my humanity. Existentially, this is very politically correct.

Yet, how do I obtain that, how do I dig down to find myself? That is the question at stake. 

Sigh. This is much too complex for my mere 16 years of existence, plus 9 months in the womb to comprehend. 

Let me resort to literature. Let me wade through my personal library being the bibliophile that I am, and I shall reveal the answer. Reveal it as if it were in the moment, even if it will take me years to discover.

xoxo Pipedreamer.

i have a new PROJECT.  two phases have been completed.  this week, possibly the last phase will take place.  the feeling is like welcoming spring after a cold and lonely winter.  it was a winter of hibernation.   

it was a time when i know i have reached a plateau.  that is never a good experience for me.  that is why this month of new beginnings hold so much promise. 

i feel so excited!