Be mindful that I am no professional PUA or if you can even be coined or regarded as that. So, take my considerations and statements lightly. Otherwise, analyse as you see fit. Whatever suits you.

I have no fucking idea how I'm going to set this out and no way do I want to format this into some sort of report. I don't have time for that.

The Digits

When about to close and attempting to obtain the target's phone number..

• Do not ask for her phone number - command for her number (it fortifies your sense of confidence in yourself and in your abilities);
• If possible, prank her phone to ensure legitimacy;
• Outline the purpose prior to obtaining the phone number and thereafter, highlight that you will call her (instills a sense of commitment and respect);
• Be arrogant and witty with your closure when it comes to the phone number.

Again, every girl differs and thus, every situation will always differ. These are very general and broad guidelines to the basic considerations in obtaining a target's number. They stem from mistakes and successes that I've encountered so it's nowhere near the gospel or a formal manual to how to pick up. Don't reprimand me if they don't get you what you want.

Woooo!

Right. Now that that's out of the way. Let's get onto real business, i.e., more stories of heart-wrenching or possibly positive stories about my PUA experience. The amateur game continues but it's definitely improving.

I'll point out beforehand that this pick-up occasion was provoked by a cigarette-scab cue. If that makes sense.

Setting was simple - on the street. Girl is about a HB7 (Hot Babe 7/10). She's by herself and smoking. I ask for a cigarette and the following conversation ensues:

Me - "I don't usually scab at the beginning of the night but hey, gotta do what you gotta do."

She laughs.

Her - "Oh really now. I totally agree."

We continue to smoke and the conversation is fucking extensive so I'll only annotate what I can remember that is of significance. Overall, a great conversation/starter. No canned material; all natural and situational improvisation.

The conversation continues to the point where we start describing what we both are smoking.

Her - "Well, these aren't menthols so they're good."

Me - "Oh don't worry - if they were menthols I would have given them back to you. You did well by telling me though. Good work."

We both laughed.

Shortly after, her friend arrives of which I remember as an acquintance. We re-introduce ourselves. Chuckle a bit and keep conversing between the three of us. The conversation is a bit blurry, however, it relates to a playful nature of how I'm deliberately trying to act like an amateur in picking up the target.

Her friend - "Oh my god - you didn't even get her name?!"

Me - "Hold on! I'm supposed to get her name? Aren't I supposed to simply jump in and use a disgusting pick up line?"

We all laughed.

Me - "Like 'Hey - I lost my mobile number, can I have yours?'"

I intentionally stare at the target in a goofy manner. It does the trick and we all laughed again.

Me - "It's working. Isn't it?"

Her - "Totally!"

Moments after - I depart to allow the conversation and the impression to sink in. The night was still young and too early for a pick up. I walked into the bar first and kicked a few drinks with my mates.

Later in the night (in which me and the target actually stood at the bar for probably the entirety of the night - talking and being playful), we found each other at the bar. Now in between intervals of drinking rounds, I can recall some snippets of the conversation we had. Trying to make it as precise as possible:

Me - "Tell you what. Instead of rambling on, getting to know each other and bullshit small talk. And also getting to know you and finding out what you do - we're gonna play a game instead. Think you can handle it?"

Her - "Haha. Of course."

Me - "Sweet. Let's do this. Simple alright? I'm going to buy a drink and you need to guess what it is. You guess it right - you get the drink and we play a final game."

Her - "Sounds good."

Me - "Turn around and don't look around. No cheating!"

The one thing I liked about this was that it built a friendly atmosphere and didn't convey any increasing sense that I was hitting on her. She guessed the drink correctly. haha

Cut to the chase - I went for the number later in the night. We had another drink and continue to converse. She brought up the fact that I was learning well how to pick up. Again, I put on the amateur persona for fun.

Her - "Ah, my friend taught you well how to pick up."

Me - "What makes you think I'm trying to pick you up?"

Both of us - "OOO Shieeeeeeet!"

Laughter ensued.

In the end, I got her number with ease. Honestly, I was disappointed with my closing:

Me - "I'm gonna take you out next time. Give me your number."

Her - "Alright, sure."

Her - "Prank me as well"

Got the number. Closed it off and walked off into the darkness of the crowd.

Overall, I was happy with my game for the night. There was comfort developed between the both of us. I could have definitely escalated it and concluded with a KB (kiss-close) but I really didn't come there to make or whatever with any girl. More the pursuit of the gaming experience, than the physicality that I wanted.

Slightly disappointed with my closing but still impressed that I've transitioned from asking for a number to instructing for a number. Whilst it seems quite insignificant, it's a focal mark for me.

The vibe was playful and friendly. Next time, I'm going to put more emphasis on being more more playful-cocky.

Were in riverside again, club sevilla, I was frustrated with the fact that the girls we were suppose to go with bailed so that's less value, even more frustrated when we missed the RSVP line by a few mins, and I almost had it when I went in and saw that there were so many guys, and so few girls in there, fuck it I'm not the type of guy to blow his lid and start choas but even I have my limits and you'll see where I'm pushed beyond those limits later.

I was in state that night though I had my buddy Ronnie and my wingman there so we were running game all over the club but it was just not on that night even though I had chugged all that alcohol out there in the parking lot.  We actually park next to these fat chicks and Ronnie labels them as "drunk" everytime he sees them "drunk" eeewww fat chicks dude seriously, and the part I regret is that I toasted them with my beer in the car haha

Let me just say for the record I (Adam J) am not of 21 years of alcoholic puchasing age, so I had to wait in the 18+ line and I told my wing and BC (Ronnie) to just go ahead on in and I'll make friends in line. So I did I opened up some dude with "Dude your not 21? You totally look at least 21 man" turns out the guy is barely 18 doesn't even have an real I.D. and he's using his friends I.D. to get in which looks like his 9 years old in. From there I start getting more people into the convo, the guy he's with, the two guys that are in front of us and the girls (fat girls) behind us. I end up having a pretty cool convo with one of the guys and we start talking about clubs and how "Dance" is gonna be really cool next weekend it turns out he drives a prius and is willing to drive us there and I'm like YES! Hit me up lets go! So that's for next week, stay tuned ;]

So I finally get in, I don't get shit for the way I'm dressed cause I'm dressed accordingly. I get in, look around and spot my buddies, I check the place out, pretty lame, thought it was gonna be cool. I try to make the best of things and dance and talk to people, but I couldn't help the fact that the shit was boring, perhaps I'm use to going out to these clubs by now? Nah it's just that it was empty and a total sausage fest. We spend like two hours in there and nothing, no hook ups or anything and then it happens..security guard comes up to me and here's our convo:

Faggot Security: Turn your hat around

Me: you wanna see my hat? What? ?

Faggot Security: Turn it around and keep it that way.

Me: fuck that, I'm not turning my hat around forwards, fuck you I'm outta here!

I get escorted out of the club and I tell my wing to find BC so we can jam, we get the hell outta there and hit up Ashley from the other night and she says that they just got into a car accident and they have to call us back later...gay. So we hit up Dennys (Denniels) and meet this surprisingly cool guy named "ron" a bit of a bisexual but that's coo I guess and he tells about hows he gone to these clubs and he's been to mexico and all this and it gaves some cool ideas. Like we should goto mexico for spring break! We eat our "shlamburgers" as we call them and chill outside by my car for a while. Oh and btw I am the AMOG master I defeated my wing like 6 times at amoging yesterday.

What I'm trying to get accross is that your going to fail much more than you are going to succeed, but you shouldn't take it lightly, fuck that blow your lid sometimes it feels good to do that, just to tell people off sometimes when you feel your being disrespected. Don't keep your emotions bottled up, learn how to handle them, but focus on the bigger picture too. Always ask yourself "How does this affect me on the bigger scale of things?" and you'll see it usually never does. Always stand up for what's right even if it doesn't apply to you, because confidence comes from courage half of the time. It's just these other pua's in the community almost feel cool about having a bad night and I'm not for that, I want be able to have a night that tops the previous one before every single time...and you should too.

So my ego and pride were really biting me in the ass for the past couple of days.  I was feeling so proud of myself for sleeping with two girls in one month, which hadn't happened to me before (and it still hasn't!  Which is the problem).  Honestly, I think if it DID happen, it would be fine for me to acknowledge my personal accomplishment, not because I am adding up notches on my bedpost but because having variety and choice in my life when it comes to women is important to me.

The problem happened after a conversation I had with a friend.  I didn't want to get too deep into the actuality's of what happened with the last two girls that I hooked up with, so instead of maintaining, "I had sex with one and the other one we were getting down and then she got sick, and it was really embarrassing for her..." etc., I just told him that I slept with both.  And then I started to believe it myself.

This morning I was getting ready for my morning run and I felt "burnt out", which has been coupled with feeling off balance the last couple of days.  It is quite amazing that since I've gotten my emotions and life straightened out that when something negative makes the slightest intrusion on my brain I get out of whack and am completely aware of it.

Anyway, I didn't go for my run, and was feeling run down, and then while I was taking a shower, BAM!  Jesus Christ, I am being fucking delusional!  So I dropped it.  There's nothing to be prideful about, it was what it was.  Self-honesty, being truthful to yourself, being open to yourself, these things are incredibly important for keeping a healthy and happy mental mindset.

Also, things with Audrina have gotten pretty bad (I talked with another PUA about this and he gave me some incredible advice and we figured out a plan of action to deal with this), which is what I would attribute as the catalyst to getting a little blue.

I called her the day after we hooked up, you know, don't let Buyer's Remorse kick in, and she is also a cool girl who I like talking to.  Anyway, she was SUPER cold and distant.  She brought up the whole getting sick thing, and because I have a tendency to be an insensitive ass, I joked with her about it.  Nothing too terrible.

The other PUA really put it in perspective.  For men sexual "accidents" or "embarassments" are fairly common.  Erectile Dysfunction, Premature Ejaculation, having a small dick, not being able to please the woman, or whatever, I think almost every guy has had SOMETHING happen to him.  So we have pretty thick skins when it comes to it and I know that I've gotten to the point where I totally accept it, laugh, and can move on pretty easily.

Women, on the other hand, rarely have situations like that happen.  So when it does, the embarrassment level is through the roof.

So, Audrina and I ended up having a 3 minute conversation, which she ended with, "I'm going to go meet some friends, I'll talk to you later," cutting things off really fast (and I could tell she wanted to get off the phone - I wouldn't be too surprised if it was just an excuse to get off).

Lesson learned, don't be insensitive and probably just give it a moment of recognition, i.e. "yeah, I'm glad you are feeling better", then move on to help her save face.

On Monday while I was at work, she popped on IM and when I said a hello, she was only responding with one word answers.  I stopped writing after a little bit.

She needs her space to cool off from the situation, I know that.  Honestly, I also am experienced enough to acknowledge that this may have killed anything that we had going and what we had going may be over.

BUT... to me this is where game matters.  Relationship management.  That is where the real skills kick in.  Don't get me wrong, I think approaching and seducing a girl takes a lot of skill also, but it's not a REQUIREMENT.  Tons and tons of guys out there get laid everyday without knowing what an opinion opener is.  But every single guy out there has to deal with those little issues that come with dating and know how to maintain your balls, power, and manliness.

This should be interesting.

For a quick recap:

Step 1 - Makeout to Sexual Touching - be a good kisser. Make out for 15 minutes, throw the leg over, grab the vajayjay.

Step 2 - Sexual Touching to First LMR (Last Minute Resistance) - Every woman hits internal resistance when they get turned on. Don't fear, it's all part of the process.

To continue:

Step 3 - First LMR to non-reactive diffusing/Freeze-out

My reaction HAS to be non-reactive. I have to be. I am beyond her silliness. But I am respectful and empathetic to WHAT she is saying, and this is pretty important.

Currently I'm reading a book by Joseph W. South, David Clare, and Franco called Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man. I'll get into the book later because I'm not finished yet, but I'm already learning a lot from it. Not to mention, JWS, Clare, and Franco are three guys who REALLY get the female mind, they are some of the most senior members of ASF and their technology and words are VITAL for understanding the more advanced parts of game (i.e. after you get yourself together, getting into the tought process of the female mind).

Anyway, in the book they say that there comes a point in which you have to learn how to talk in Chickspeak, which is speaking through emotions with a heavy lean towards subcommunication.

Don't let the words, "I will not have sex with you", be what you determine if she really does or doesn't want to have sex. You can tell much much more by being sensitive to how she is behaving. What is her body language telling you? Is she getting really nervous? Closing off? Does she really want to continue, but she's trying to convince herself otherwise? There are literally a million things going through a woman's mind at this point.

Even further, what she is really communicating, “I DO want to have sex with you, I just am feeling uneasy about it because; 1) I don’t want to feel like a slut, or 2) I don’t want you to think I’m a slut.” In other words, “MAKE ME FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE”.

I'd say a Freeze-Out is the best way to judge how she is really feeling. A Freeze-Out allows the space for her to feel like you are willing to back off. You are not treating her like a slut, because you are not attached to having sex with her. You both are enjoying the moment, and enjoying something that feels really good.

I'll sit back and just enjoy what we're doing. In Mystery Method, he advocates TOTALLY backing off, going so far as walking away and checking your email. I see strength in that, but I don't agree with it.

To me that is making her feel badly, manipulating her emotions so that she has to chase you back to continue being intimate with her. I am totally and completely against doing things that make women feel bad or doing things that are manipulative. Rather I believe in honesty, openness, and "love" (not traditional Hollywood or romance novel love, but in the sense of being fully accepting of people).

This usually works out for me because 95% of the time when I'm hooking with a girl I'm doing it watching a DVD with them. I'll tell her, "ok let's get back to the movie." She's laying across my chest, and the arm that I had around her is not making contact or very little in comparison to the affection I was giving her before. My attention and affection is elsewhere, and I let her re-initiate, where things can progress forward again.

Again, I am respecting her wishes, which are "make me feel more comfortable, like you don't just view me as a slut."

I also heard this somewhere, but I think this falls in with an NLP/Hypnosis (ugh!) concept called “fractionalization”. When someone is being hypnotized it needs to be done in steps. Put them under, pull them back, put them under again but this time it is going to be deeper. So in essence, hit a resistance point (LMR), back off (freeze-out), then when you go again the resistance point is going to be further past the last resistance point.

Also, there is a chance that things may end here. It's not a bad thing, it's just that not everyone is a robot and some women may be much more resistant to sex than others. I have to go through more experiences in this model, but I have yet to experience a woman wanting to totally stop the interaction at this point.

But the key is don't just plow to plow. Be sensitive to her needs and wants, don't just force yourself on her (getting her sex) but rather give her comfort and the opportunity to present her sexual desires to you.

Step 4 - Freeze-out to Re-initiation of Sexual Touching/PYDO - Pull your dick out (credit ASF)

If she's back to kissing, touching, rubbing, or whatever that happens from her re-initiation, then she's ready to get turned on even further. Obviously she's not ready to have sex, but she is ready to keep things going. The underlying message, "show me what you got."

So I do. I'll start making out again, then I'll grab her hand and put it down my pants.

There may possibly be something more effective than this, but so far it has worked best for me.

Also, let me make this very important point here. By Step 4 I am a raving lunatic of sexual desires. I feel like I am the man. Every single thing that I do is fully confident. Don't be a pussy about this. Remember you are her seducer. You are the ravisher, she is the ravishee (ala David Deida). She wants this. She wants you to take control and put her hand on your dick.

Again, this is one of those points where you need to be fully open and accepting of your sexuality, and guys who are ashamed of it will inevitably fail.

From this point forward the sexuality will jet power forward. Take your clothes off, take hers off, kiss, grab pull. The tenderness is over by now. You know that dimmer switch of BT/horniness? It is on full blast.

Step 5 - PYDO to Second LMR/Token Resistance

This Step I'm not really sure if it happens because of me or because this is how things happen. Even with my unsureness the similarities are odd. She is having the same mentality, same words, and same behaviors as the others.

So weird.

Anyway, at this point the girl HAS to stop. 'How is this happening?' she asks herself. 'How am I naked with this strange guy?' 'How have I spent the last 10 minutes rubbing his cock and letting him rub my pussy?' Etc., etc.

Ready guys, this IS Chicklogic AT... ITS... BEST.

In her head, she rationalizes, "well, I wouldn't have let things get here if I didn't want it" coupled with, "oh my god, I must look so slutty right now."

This is pure insanity and female schizophrenia.

What comes out of her mouth is classic. "Oh I really want to, but I don't, and I really like you, and I want to go and fuck you, but I can't..." it is hilarious.

Guys, put yourself in this position. If you really really cared about not fucking too fast when getting to know a girl (I know, laughable), wouldn't you just stop things? Or let's say you were like, "fuck it, let's get down." I mean, there's just NO back and forth as a man.

It brings me back to that amazing Jack Nicholson quote from As Good As It Gets when he's asked how he knows how to write like he's in the heart and mind of a woman. "Well," he says, "I think of a man, then I take away reason and accountability."

Classic.

The answer for this? Sincerity. Which is odd, because we're taught so many times that a freeze-out is a good solution to all LMRs, but *sigh* Mystery Method fails again (and actually makes you wonder the validity of it). If I were to freeze-out a woman at this point, then she'd think I was an asshole.

Well, maybe I'm wrong, but again, that whole manipulative thing.

So I look the girl really hard in the eye and SINCERELY say, "I really like you, and I don't want you to feel like you have to do something you don't want to. But I really like oral sex and I would really like to go down on you."

Step 6 - Token Resistance to Oral Sex

Even if she says "no", it's probably just token resistance. Take it slow, don't attack her vag. Remember, it's like walking a minefield (slightly) and you don't want to set off her ASD.

I am a skilled pussy eater. I take massive amounts of pride in my pussy eating abilities. I think the foundation is that I'm willing to just go at it. I am not afraid of pussy in any way whatsoever. I know that a lot of guys get grossed out by it and well, shit, you are really just limiting yourself, but hey, that's your choice and you'll have to figure out Step 6 by yourself.

Also, lately things have become INSANE. Before it was all about effort. I would go down on a girl for like 20 minutes (or more) to get her to orgasm. My mouth would hurt, my boner would be long gone soft, my fingers would be sore, it was just a lot of work.

Then, of all people, I listened to a Pickup Podcast episode with Ross Jeffries. He describes a way that he fingers girls that is really really creepy (big surprise with RJ) but if you can put that aside it is incredibly effective. He talks about touching the inside of a woman in a very sensual way. Exploring her curves, finding her g-spot, etc.

It is SOOO effective. Thankfully I also was with my ex-girlfriend at the time that I first heard it, so I was able to practice and experiment on her. Man, the sexual closeness that comes from a relationship can be really nice. I know I'm missing it right now.

Step 7 - Oral Sex to Fucking

She cums a bunch of times and it's over. She is now powerless. Ironically, this is the easiest step. Have fun!

-----------------------

So that's it.

I would be very very interested to know if this is something that only I experience or if other guys can relate to it. Please comment, I'm very curious.

1. The whole getting around the car issue. My direction now is to not even bring it up. My line that I use is, "why don't you come over here, and we can head out together." I tried it once before and it seemed like it worked, but the girl flaked. I tried it again Wednesday and it was money.

2. Then the Brent kiss routine. Being very upfront and honest and saying, "I'm not good at figuring out when to go for the first kiss, but I want to do it and if you want to also then that would be great."

We make plans the day before (as can be seen in my last post) and I use the car line. It works beautifully. She calls me up when she's outside, I walk out to meet her, and I say, "which one is your car?" We walk over and she says, "I guess I'm driving?" I don't even respond to that, there is no need to.

And that's it. Simple as pie.

Since the premise of us going out is so that I could run some errands we head over to a mall by my house. It's about 8:45 and the mall was closing in 15 minutes. It wasn't a big deal and I went into a couple of stores with her. I've been out running errands twice before on Day 2's and one time it was fine and the other time the whole Day 2 was awful, so the running errands was awful.

We're walking and talking, etc. Nothing too grand, just a lot of building comfort.

From that point forward I was figuring that we could head over to a bookstore, get some coffee and talk some more, but she says, "why don't we get a drink?" That sure made things convenient.

We head over to Fox's Lounge, which is one of my favorite Day 2 spots. I've taken a ton of girls there and it always works out well. Mood lighting, character, most of the time fairly empty.

When we get to the parking area, I turn to her and pull out the Kiss line. It falls kind of flat. She says something like, "I want to get more than 4 words out of you before I start making out with you." Then she apologized, and I said "for what?" with a smile.

I think the key to this is that I honestly maintained that I was telling her (giving) some information, rather than using it as a manipulative tool to get her to make out with me. Giving is always better than getting, even in situations in which both could be seen.

I think the reason it fell flat, though, was because I had preplanned it. Anything that comes from Brent has got to be genuine or else it dies. Truthfully, it wasn't a good moment to go in for the kiss, but because I was "field testing it", I was in my head and not just feeling the moment. I'll keep that in mind from now on.

I don't think whatwe were talking about was important, of course I always maintain David De'Angelo's Be Interested and Interesting, as well as my always maintaining a sexual frame.

1. I gave killer eye contact the whole time, and she even said something about it. There was even this blond girl with huge tits behind her getting overly dramatic with the guy that she was with, but I still maintained like... 90% EC. ha.

2. I was always in her space. Fox's Lounge has stools surrounding the bar and we were sitting next to each other. I had my arm across her chair, my foot on her stool. As Neil Strauss points out in The Game, I was taking up space and it felt damn good.

3. I just didn't care about so many things. You know those moments when the conversation ends? I used to go struggling with something else to fill the space, because god forbid things go silent and I get... uncomfortable. But the something that I have really developed since learning seduction is how to feel comfortable at all times. When I was first learning game, I would always challenge myself that whenever something made me feel uncomfortable then I would do it. Movies alone? Going. Going to a bar alone? I'm going. Talking in public? Well, I'm gonna save that for another day.

4. Kino. Kino. Kino. I don't care who you are, what you say, what you smell like, whatever. Game revolves around kino. Period. I would gently grab her arm, she would touch my forearm, I would touch her back, she would touch my chest, before long we're playing with each others fingers, etc. If you are just learning game and you feel like you don't have anything "interesting" to say, which is ok, just remember to kino. Everything else is manageable. Kino is irreplaceable.

Just a side note on the sexual frame. I am all about being sexual, but I've noticed that I'm using it primarily humorously. I was reading through a post from another PUA and he put up an AIM conversation that he was having with a girl, and he was being very sexual, but more like "I'm going to let you take advantage of me." It was more direct. More what we're going to do to each other. It reminds me of the AIM conversation I'd had with a girl a while ago before I got back with my ex-girlfriend. Yeah the sexuality was humorous, but it was upfront. This actually plays a role later, keep reading.

We're leave the bar and head back to my apartment, which is like 2 minutes away. This is a typical thing that I do now - She's getting ready to park and I start a sentence and when she parks I just get out in mid-sentence and wait until she gets out of the car then start walking to my apartment. I don't give her an option to say no to coming in, I just assume that she's coming in.

When we're in my place we sit down on the couch, I lower the lights, and light an incense candle. At some point I grab her hands, pull her into me, and she says, "so you're making your move now?" And I said, "yeah, see pretty terrible." With a big smile on my face and we start making out.

She's a good kisser and I enjoy it. We're getting hot and heavy. I keep in mind not to rush it and enjoy it. I roll onto my back, pull her on top of me, and I grab her ass and reach around to her vajayjay (Jeffy and Gunwitch). I then grab her hand an put it on my cock. Things are getting pretty heavy, and just like clockwork she pulls back and says, "we're not having sex tonight."

We make out a little more, and I reach for the front of her pants and she is not having it. That was stupid. Very "get her sex" mentality.

I've realized several things about this. She's not saying that she doesn't want to have sex, she's saying, "I'm thinking about having sex with you but I'm feeling uneasy about it." This is the point in which a pull back is necessary, a freeze-out, things progress.

Here's the problem. Since we started hanging out at almost 9 o'clock, it's now two in the morning and I'm feeling tired as shit and thinking to myself, "tomorrow is going to be fucked if I don't get enough sleep." I'm also thinking to myself, "man I really dig kissing this girl." And last, "I don't want to fuck this up."

The first two thoughts are ok, the last one, not so much. What can I say, I'm not perfect.

I knew what I should have done. Grabbed her hand, put it down my pants, moved forward. Given her the sex.

It just was late and I wasn't on my A+ game.

Going back to earlier, though, not going further and "respecting her by not pushing for sex" was totally incongruent. I told her that I was a sexual animal and then when it came down to it I didn't push it.

It's not a big deal and I don't think it is going to negatively affect anything. But I still think it is something to learn from and it won't happen again. Just a little flub in my game.

We're hanging out tonight again and trust me, things are going down. Not to mention I do honestly like this girl and think she's cool. For the sake of both of us, I know it'll be good for us to progress our relationship.

UPDATE: Ok, so I was thinking about this concept:

Things are getting pretty heavy, and just like clockwork she pulls back and says, "we're not having sex tonight."

I've realized several things about this. She's not saying that she doesn't want to have sex, she's saying, "I'm thinking about having sex with you but I'm feeling uneasy about it." This is the point in which a pull back is necessary, a freeze-out, things progress.

Here's the problem. Since we started hanging out at almost 9 o'clock, it's now two in the morning and I'm feeling tired as shit and thinking to myself, "tomorrow is going to be fucked if I don't get enough sleep." I'm also thinking to myself, "man I really dig kissing this girl." And last, "I don't want to fuck this up."

When I saw Jeffy speak down here, he said that there are all these little 1% things that add up to getting the lay.  You just have to keep shaving them down to get there.  And this is just a 1% thing.

Anyway, when she says, "I'm not having sex with you", which is a thinly veiled "I want you to have sex with me, but I'm uneasy about it", and then I DON'T proceed with trying to have sex with her, then I am justifying her fears.

Like, "you are right, you should be uneasy about it, so I'm going to back off."

I know I've read this elsewhere, but if the logistics aren't right to escalate, then I just shouldn't because there's a certain point in which you can hit, when if you don't keep it going, it makes things go downhill as opposed to uphill.

9 years into the process, the philosophies I have uncovered along the way have internalized. I have coached 100's of people in this lifestyle, and in that been a witness to the display of even more basketballs. What I don't have is a list of which guys have performed better than others. How do you measure that?

Today, I read about the Real Man Conference that is taking place in Amsterdam in September 2008. One of the credentials used to sell the event is a top 10 list of the best pickup artists in the world as rated by Thundercat. Now, even though I have no ill word to say about anyone on the list, or it's creator, I most say this:

Compiling a list like that, and then also write that certain members of the seduction society are not included on the list, because the author is in bad standing with them... Well, it says something about the credibility of the list, now, doesn't it?

Also, the lists mentions a pickup artist just outside the top 10, because he's a great guy, but... "I never saw him in-field, so he won't be on there this year." Then why mention him? I don't get it? 

I know, it's an old list... But, wouldn't it be nice with no lists, for a change?

Indeed, it would.

I guess though, that we will still ge to see more lists, as the majority of the seduction society is focused on external results. How hot are the women that you dare approach - and close? But then, why not make a real list with a lot of holywood celebrities on there? Oh yeah... I forgot... they aren't pickup artists, they just hang out with beautiful women all the time. They shouldn't be on "our" list.

I still want to thank the many great and unmentioned PUA's out there. I know many that do not feel the need to be on any lists, and that's why they are ranked as the world's best PUA's on my list.

The list of the heart. 

Be natural,

Anders

PickUpTara.com is a community featuring live broadcasts by Tara of VH1s The PickUp Artist 2 and Mystery’s celebrated wingwoman. PickUpTara.com is about exploring what exactly is going to make you maul-worthy. What is it that makes her want to rip your clothes off, or give you a soft wet kiss after an awesome night together? We’re going to go through the ABC’s of women and get to know what the heck is going on in their complicated heads. Nobody knows all of the answers but I’m going to answer as many questions as I can and interview women from all walks of womanness. Strippers, pornstars, goodgirls, tattooed rockers, hired guns, etc. We’re going to talk about all of those things that you want to know but are afraid to ask. Welcome to a new understanding of women. Welcome to PickUpTara.com.

I've gotten to the point where I hate having to figure out some sort of strategy with women. I dislike putting in the mental effort and I really hate the fact that I feel like I'm playing a strategy and not being honest.

I was talking to Audrina last night online. First off she was being kind of defensive. I didn't care and I ended up using it to my own advantage. I had said some sort of sexual joke along with a typical line that I use that I learned from Future (who I think retired from pickup), "but I'm just really trying to get in your pants."

She turns it around on me and says, "are you just talking to me because you are only trying to get a chance to fuck me?"

Guys, we all know the answer to this. Yes, yes I am trying to fuck you sweetheart. But I think it was the "only" in there that bothered me.

I joked with her and said something like, "well, I wouldn't call it 'a chance'."

But I could tell she mentioned it for a reason. She is obviously thinking about having sex with me, otherwise she wouldn't shit-test/anti-slut defense me. It's a good feeling, it means she wants it. She just wants to make sure that I'm not going to think that she's a slut, even if she does "slutty" behaviors.

So I take the moment to let her know that I'm worthy, and give her a speech along the lines of, 'I only spend time with girls that I like being around,' which is honest, and 'I am sexual and I can't deny that, but I wouldn't do it if I didn't think you were cool.' Honest also.

She was happy. Said she liked me too. It's all good.

We move on to start making plans. I tell her that I'm going to the gym after work but she can come over, hang out, and drink some wine with me when I get home.

Kind of stupid on my behalf especially after she hit me in the face with an ASD comment, but I figured since we had hung out and done something fun together on Saturday she would be cool with going straight to one-on-one.

Uh-uh. And she calls me on it.

"I'm not one to go over to a strange man's apartment and drink wine." [Insert random airplane falling out of the sky sound]. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not prude." Ooohhhh... redemption?

See, this is what sucks. This is a combination shit-test, anti-slut defense, and magic pussy syndrome comment all rolled up into one. I think it is impossible to Brent my way out of this situation.

Here's the thing, the first thing she says is this "I'm too good" sorta statement which she, of course, follows closely with a "don't give up" statement. Chick logic at it's best.

"Give me a better reason to be a slut".

I tell her that's fine and we can figure it out later. Brent Smith would tell me not to call her again until she conforms to what I'm saying. Traditional/Mystery Method pickup says give her a smaller hoop to jump through.

Another thing is that she's going to keep associating coming over with being slutty now. Which sucks in and of itself. Not to mention, we've already gone "out" together on Saturday, and I absolutely hate lateral movement in pickup.

(Except now that I think about it, Saturday we were among friends of mine, and tonight we'll be one-on-one, even though it's not in the "seduction" area.)

Well, so you can obviously see what I chose. I sent her a txt earlier today and told her to meet me out at the mall so she can help me run errands. Low pressure, not that big a deal, etc. Also we can end up at a B&N to talk, which can then lead to a bar, which can then lead to the unopened bottle of wine in my kitchen. And then we all know where things go from there.

The point is that sometimes it is a necessary evil to bust out the skills and get away from Brent Game. But maybe that's a problem, that I drop Brent Game when it's convenient and fall right back into the normal pickup dork cycle. The best things in life require resolve and perseverence. Maybe I need to keep that in mind?

fara articole lungi de cum sa faci nu stiu ce.. direct si la obiect. iata primul sfat:

Renunta la porn si la a te mai masturba pana iti faci o prietena.

Pentru a te motiva suficient si a urla din rarunchi ca esti dispus sa abordezi, sa citesti, sa inveti cum sa agati fete, pentru ca la sfarsit sa faci sex cu ele, renunta la porn si la a te masturba.
Filmele porno iti vand o fantezia de scurta durata. O realitate subreda care se consuma in cateva secunde si  durerea/dorinta care o simteai s-a linistit.

Tocmai acesta este scopul tau, sa-ti cresti durerea atat in cat sa actionezi iar frica de a aborda sa devina ceva isignifiant. Dorinta de a reusi sa fie mai puternica decat zona de confort in care te afli.

In momentul in care ai o prietena ai voie sa te masturbezi si sa te uiti la porn cat vrei, eventual impreuna ;)

In some instances, I'd go out with me and 4 girls. I got in everywhere, people wanted to know me. I didn't care what the outcome was of any night either, and most cases I'd be meeting new women in the process. I always introduced the new ladies to the old ones and claim one was my sister - I think one of them even liked that. It was fun. I even started writing this blog because I felt, at the time, my skills and abilities were strong to help other guys struggling socially.

Fast forward 4 months - I'm in Hollywood competing with actors, celebrities, and people who have real money. I'm also in the "sarge" capitol of the free world as those of us within this circle of knowledge acknowledge that the source of this whole operation originated in Hollywood.  Things are harder here and the game you run is different.

I gave up completely in the game and while I am NOT sitting here telling you I am an AFC or I sit home alone on the weekend crying myself to sleep, far from it, but I got burnt out of emotionally going out and trying. Girls in LA flake a LOT. It's a grinding experience to get numbers and in my opinion the whole operation should be a fun endeavor or why try it in the first place?

My rebirth came when I was in Las Vegas for my birthday - I enjoyed the company of my friends and a girl I hold personally, very high on my chart of cool people (That is of course, if this chart were real). I spent the whole weekend hanging out with a really beautiful, cool girl that can hold a conversation, make me laugh, talk dirty, and buy me drinks restores some of the faith I had lost in women (And people) having moved to the land of the fake and fake-beautiful.

Another thing I should tell you is that one particular evening before going out I was hanging out in the casino and I was just casually talking to a dealer - a legit "10" in her early 20's with enormous fake boobs 2 inches below her chin. This girl could have been in porn and I ran this natural game on her and it just happened so easily I was amazed because she gets hit on 100x+ a day by guys with way more loot than I and hell - even better looking ones too.

Here's how I worked my game with the dealer

> Opened with a warm smile, a "Hey" how are you? Then a non-reactive body language, but alpha.

> Threw $100 bucks down on the table to start playing ($100 is nothing in Las Vegas - I wasn't impressing her here with this) but then she casually asked me how my weekend was going (Normal for dealers to do, this is nothing special)

> I replied back "Oh I'm here celebrating my birthday, and I came out to hang out with this girl I met about 7 months ago out here (Then I showed the pictures of us on my iPhone) and I asked her 'have you ever really liked someone without knowing it wouldn't realistically happen?'" and I swear people - she was like, mine, right then and there. She melted.

> Her bitch shield dropped because she knew I wasn't going to hit on her or be a typical guy because it was obvious I was pre-selected by another hottie and was invested in that. We started talking between hands about the dealer's boyfriend breaking up with her (She shared a similar situation), and when I was winning hands she was high-fiving me (IOI). For those of you who gamble - how often does that occurrence happen? The answer is rarely, we're talking lunar eclipse rare.

> I caught the dealer checking me out each hand with her eyes on mine, and when new people came up to play they didn't exist, her attention as just on me - asking me where I'm from, what I do, where I'm staying, etc. These were not polite questions - these were her trying to make me qualify and find out if I'm boyfriend material. My body language was also very alpha- taking up 2 seats and being non-reactive to the situation around me (Other 1/2 naked girls walking by).

> Each reply implied high value; I run my own business, I am staying at a very nice hotel, I'm going to this club tonight and doing x with y, etc.

> She was interested and I could have walked away with her number quite easily if I had just asked. Why didn't I? Good question, I suppose I just wanted to see if I still had it in me. That my friends, I do.

I'm going to try a few things in the next month to revamp my game here, because there's just no excuse for the lack of magic in my life right now. Field reports shall follow with more advanced game.

My friend, Ted, as a new fashion blog up at: http://www.style-habits.com/blog/

So onto the next experiences. Last Satuday, a workmate invited me to come to his friend's 21st birthday. Gladly, I went. More opportunities mean more experiences.

We arrived at Velour Bar on Flinders Lane. Once we walked in, we were instantly in awe. Not only guys to girls ratio good (meaning that the girls outnumbered the guys) but the quality of the girls there were, on an average, good as well. Yes, I make it sound like girls are some form of commodity. I can't be fucked being politically correct at the moment.

One thing I should note is that my workmate is less of a socialite than I am. He is timid, uncreative and somewhat has no experience in the social field. Another thing to add is that he certainly is aware of my social ventures and somewhat regards me as a master. This is particularly dubious because no one can be a master in the social scene. A guy can be adapative but never a master.

So, we went off to the bar, caught a few drinks and observed the talent thereafter. Whilst on my lookabout, I was first to spot two girls sitting down quietly mumbling to each other. These two stood out from the crowd as they were Asian (as I am) from the chiefly Caucasian crowd. At one point, they walked out and I presumed correctly that it was for the purpose of smoking outside. Perfect cue for us to speak to them outside from the gradually-ascending noise evident in the bar.

We took haste and walked outside. Aside from the adverse health effects of smoking - smoking provides great cues for starting a conversation. Chain-smoking, asking for a cigarette and among other openings are ideal for starting conversations outside. I don't tend to get into the habit since smoking, is by the way, bad for you.

I took the approach towards them and if I can remember, this is the approximate opening I used:

Me - "Hey, this is going to sound so Asian but you reckon we can scab a smoke off you?"

First girl laughs.

First girl - "Sure"

The wheels start turning at this point. The conversation was great with the two girls. It was fluid, playful and most of all, very casual. I did most of the talking with the girls whilst my workmate had minimal input.

The target girl I was after seem to compliment me quite a bit for the whole night. I was wearing a slim polka-dot tie, slim-tabbed shirt, beige long trench coat and a black vest with black skinny jeans on. Make of it what you will. haha

One significant excerpts of the conversation which stood out was my sense of playful arrogance. I'm not usually the cocky, arrogant type but if it's in a playful, comical manner - I don't mind it.

Me - "You reckon I'm too dressed for tonight?"

Target girl - "Oh nah, you look really good."

Me - "Yeah, I know that!"

We both laughed.

Look, it sounds awfully strange that I'm glad with this but when you're a new starter or your changing your grounded mentality when it comes to the social scene - any changes you can recall in your behaviour and personality evokes a sense of satisfaction from it. That, after all, is the goal of self-improvement.

Another thing I learnt from this occasion is how your attitude plays a major role in determining how you intereact with girls. The worst thing you could do is display desperation. It demeans your self-esteem and it lowers your attraction value towards the girl. I was happy to say that I acted with pride during this occasion.

However, I wasn't able to get her number. Everything went well except for the fact that I used the 5-question game on her and ... she knew what the game was and had had experience with it being used on her.

When it all comes to interactions with girls - there has to be a balance between interest and disinterest. I'm sure this is one of the merits of the push/pull system. You show that you are interested in a particular girl but continuously push her away and pull her back through the attraction process. Of course, that does not mean you should heavily denounce a girl; it's all about doing this with an air of playfulness and coy. You're not out there to hurt a girl.

Here's a few more snippets of the conversation I can remember with her.

We are talking about each other. Finding out what nationality we are.

Me - "Chinese?"

Her - "Haha, nope."

Me - "Japanese?"

Her - "Nope!"

Me - "Wow. This is taking too long for me. I think I might go now."

I pretend to usher myself out of the conversation and fall back. We laugh.

I attempt to try another chance with getting her number. See how it unfolds:

Me - "Here, put in your number and I'll call you sometime."

Her - "I don't give out my number easily. We'll definitely bump into each other some time."

Me - "Nah, that might be never." (Bite me! But I loved that I said this. It's portrays that sense of objection and slight disinterest."

Her - "I'm sure we will."

Me - "That's too bad. I have to boot to another party now but I was great talking to you. Have a good night."

We hugged and I departed the scene.

The conversation for the whole night with the two girls was amazing. It wasn't awkward or disjointed. At one point her friend prompted her to get my number. Shockingly, I was put on the spot by this and this could've been a potential pick up. As for the demographics, she noted that she was 26 years old. I lied about my age, claimining I was 23 years old (Ironically, when she made a first guess of my age - she guessed correctly that I was 20 years old!).

Regardless of the age factor, I entirely satisfied with the night. Each experience provides you with a new perspective and different avenues to use in the social setting. It's about adapting and adjusting to the social conditions and situational factors. And that's what I had going on for me on this occasion.

Stayed tuned for more. I'll have plenty more in the coming weeks!

In a social circle interaction, there is assumed comfort.  You know some of the same people, maybe you have seen each other before in a non-sexual situation, maybe they know a lot from someone else about your background and personality without even having met you.  If you're real lucky, maybe you even have someone they respect and care about that's vouching for you and trying to make something happen.  Anyw ay you look it, there are built in supports there to make good things happen.  I would say if you're having trouble in this area, your problems are probably inner game and kino escalation issues, as these are the two main elements at play in a social circle pick-up.

Outside the social circle, the game changes.  Everything from above is still in play, but now you have to make it through an open, a transition, and a much more significant comfort building phase, as well as the same attraction and seduction process.  I will fully admit, I do not open enough sets.  I see targets, I smile, and I do nothing about it.  Some of this is, I think, a remnant of starting in the game through the Mystery Method and opinion openers, which are not nearly as versatile as developing a more direct style.  Part of it is just me being a chicken shit sometimes.

When I do open, I have found that my conversations tend to flounder early on.  It's an interesting contrast for me, because when I fail in social circle situations, I think the issue is the opposite.  In cold approach situations, I'm not ready to provide the 90% demanded, as stated in Juggler's 9-10 rule.  In a social circle setting, I so invest myself in owning the environment that I switch gears into entertainer mode and go over the top with the energy level required by the situation.  I want to take a look at both of these issues and what I might be able to do to get over them.

First, you have to know your environment.  A bar or a club often takes a very high energy vibe to be successful.  You want to be willing to dance, to keep moving, to talk loudly, to have superficial fun with no real depth of conversation.  All these things are great because these are the things women go out to find.  They want to find the guy that will make their night the most fun it can be, and that is not the guy that wants to find a quiet place to talk (at least if by "talk", you really mean "talk").

In those type of environments, I don't often feel dominant enough to try to control the scene with people I don't know.  I don't go very direct with new sets, I don't entertain from minute one, and I don't often hold anything longer than a couple of minutes.

Juggler offers his 90-10 rule as one explanation.  He says that a serious problem men have is that they open sets expecting a typical 50-50 conversation to ensue, when in fact, the women is not ready to offer more than 10% of the conversation until she gets a sense that you're worth offering more.  An opening and transition based on traditional conversational rules will, of course, flounder because you offer 50, she offers 10, and a 60% conversation is not interesting enough for either of you to hang out in.  He suggests that, instead, you ask open-ended, interesting questions, and be prepared for her not to answer.

"You: What did you want to be when you were ten years old?

Her: What? I don't remember.

You: Well that is too bad because it is useful to remember. If we can get in touch with our passions we had at that time we can learn a lot about what gets us excited today. For instance, when I was ten I knew exactly what I wanted to be.

Her: What did you want to be?

You: I wanted to be an astronaut. I even had this great way of training. I had a globe in my room and I would spin it and then quickly climb up onto my bunk bed and lean over like this and pretend I was floating around the Earth. (Pause) When my sister would come in the door she would be the space alien. (Zap zap)" (from The Juggler Method compiled by Charisma Sciences).

You have to be prepared to be the entertainer, to keep things going, to get her laughing and enjoying herself when all she's ready to give you is "Uh...I don't know."  There are lots of ways to do it.  Funny answers to Juggler's type of questions, bringing in a group of fun people to mingle with hers, generally being the life of the party (which I can never pull off at a bar).  90% of the energy needs to come from you, whether it's conversational energy or just partying, good time energy.  If you can't pull off the party energy, like I am admittedly incapable of most of the time, find more low key venues and focus on providing the conversational energy.

In a social circle situation, entertainer mode needs to be avoided at all costs.  I can remember distinct instances in my past where I tried to take the energy level of a venue to a higher level (usually with alcohol contributing to my energy level) which just made me that guy that people blow off to continue their conversations.  Success in a more low key setting involves a few things.  First, own the group.  Let other people suggest things, and then make sure you take over the direction things go from there.  Too many suggestions are risks of being shot down, but if you own other people's leads, you become the leader of the pack without the significant risk.  Be a little bit louder than everyone else, just making clear that everyone should hear you and that you will not be drowned out by anyone else.  Don't go crazy here, just make sure everyone else stops when you talk.  Pick your target, build attraction and kino escalation.  No canned opener necessary.  Even if you don't know each other, you know enough to just introduce yourself.  Comfort is basically built since she either already knows you or you mutually know somebody which is the definition of social proof.  At this point it's all about attraction and seduction.

Be comfortable in your own skin here, and things will go your way.  Don't react to every other person around you; make them react to you.  Don't try to provide 90% of the conversation; give her hoops to jump through and reward her with conversation when she jumps through them.  Finally, kino, kino, kino, because with comfort already built for you, every minute you're not kinoing is a minute you're backsliding into the friend zone.

Be mindful of your environment, match the energy level, and give people whatever type of enjoyment they came out to find, and you can guarantee significant success.

I was having a conversation with another PUA who said that he thinks Brent game sucks because guys use it as a crutch to not have to approach.  And yes, I am admitting it right now, Brent game has been a very convenient method to hide a fear of approach behind.

Then again, I just don't care, and I really dislike the feeling of "needing to approach".  But, I have been an approach machine before, but within the realm of Brent game, and it really has more to do with getting totally in line with your own wants and desires.  I don't approach because I have "3 sets I need to approach a night", I think that is lame, but rather, if I see a girl I am attracted to, I want to meet her.

Yesterday I'm walking up to the train to go to work, I spot this cute girl going up the stairs, and I set my sights.  We end up standing next to each other on the train and my mind starts working.  "Tap her shoulder and say X".  No, that's lame.  "Say to her Y".  No, that's lame.  "I'm going to tell her Z".  No that's lame.

And before I know it I don't want to say anything, and I feel uncomfortable and way in my head.  Seriously not a big deal.  Rather than beat myself up over it, because this is just a skill that I am re-improving, I just visualize myself opening her, her laughing, how I would interact with her, etc., etc.

Turned a negative to a positive.

Later on that day I'm getting in the elevator at my job and spot this cute girl I'd been wanting to talk to for awhile.  Rather then wait and try to figure something out, I just blurt out, "ahhh! green", because she was wearing a lime green shirt.  I bust her on it some, but I'll try to qualifer her as well.  I say, "wow, I feel like I'm at a rav."  And she'll laugh and be like, "that's not nice!"  And then I'll say, "no, I'm just kidding, it matches your tattoo (she had a little tattoo on her arm with some green in it)".  Just like two or three things back and forth.  Anyway, we bullshit with each other, she's into the conversation, we introduce ourselves, and I go onto lunch.

I remember this groove, and it's really easy to find again.  It is that social just blurt shit out groove.  Constantly ask (situationally appropriate NOT opinion opener) questions, constantly be social, just be talking.

I just don't want to be that guy who is in bars 6 nights a week hunting down chicks.  I feel like I have much better things to do with my life.  I am starting to get more involved in the things I care about, and I want to be sure that I have the social skills to talk to anyone I want, and want to be able to meet, get to know, and seduce (if it feels right) the women that I choose.

But I guess they're two sides of the same coin.  I suppose it just depends what's more important to you.

Yes, I've taken on board an entirely new perspective to the chase process when going out and meeting girls. It's been ecstatic, so much so that it's been riveting. I actually recommend that you take some time to search or google or whatever - what the game of the pick up artist is all about. At first, I thought the conceptualisation of picking up was horrible and in a sense, very sad. I assumed it meant using poorly constructed pickup lines to do the trick. However, objective as I am usually haha - I managed to do my research on this subject and discovered much more than the surface of it.

There's definitely more to the art of picking up. The whole notion of 'picking up' is perceived and typified as this bleak and certainly embarrassing methodology of - dare I say - scoring with women. That was the biggest setback for me since I derived from picking up women as an utter framework of using canned material and superfluously predetermined pickup lines. What I can tell during my short tenure in this venture of mine - this is obviously a bad way of how one is to go about picking up women. There is an effective way of introducing yourself and picking up women and there is the bad way, which is commonly through bad jokes and cliches.

The whole premise of picking up doesn't lie in the facet of appearance or your natural looks. Looks help. Cleaning up your appearance helps. However, this isn't mandatory to attract women. From the unofficial literature I've been reading on - the seduction of the process of the pickup revolves around two interrelated areas, i.e., value and attraction.

Now, the value component is probably more important I'm guessing. At the inception of meeting a woman or during interaction, the male exhibits value towards the female. This could be the value of friendship, the value of companionship, the value of anything that might presents the female or the target with a glimpse of what they can expect. If a girl doesn't find anything of value in the guy approaching her, it's plain to see that she won't break upon his advances. Obviously, each girl finds higher or lower value differently from each other so all I'll say for now is that interests will play a major role in determining value sought by a woman.

Attraction, on the other hand, concerns a wide range of factors that cause individuals to draw each other in and stimulate interest and admiration. This is formed from a combination of physical attractiveness, shared interests, behavioural patterns, conversational skills etc. Factors that stem from interactions.

Enough of theory for now. A week or two ago I went out to my mate's 21st birthday. I like smart dress - well, I felt like dressing a little more formally on that night than other nights. My attire consisted of skinny black jeans, slim-fit white tabbed shirt, slim grey tie topped off with a black trench coat. Why is this important? It is because my personal rule is that for one to feel good, they must at least try to look good. We live in a superficial, materialistic society and hence, girls are definitely influenced by how a male looks and appears to them. Isn't that true, though? Same applies with men too. Any man will prefer a well-dressed girl than an under-dressed girl.

The first few hours at my mate’s house were pretty uneventful. People talking to other people that they know. People getting plastered as fuck. A typical social night. Moving on now.

I ended up at QBH. It was an Asian nightclub event for that Saturday. After waiting in the cold for roughly 10-15 minutes, I eventually walked in. Inside, the usual occurred – met with some mates, consumed some more alcohol and strolled about searching for any talent. This is where it began for me. I had always been a casual clubber; going whenever I can. But there wasn’t really any goal in mind or more specifically, any goal to meet girls whenever at a club venue. In the past, it never really occurred as something that I would consider as something I’d endeavour to do. Before I delve into what the night consisted of, I will point out that I had been reading a bit about how the game works. I’ll call the ‘pickup’ as the ‘game’ from time to time. Hopefully, that isn’t confusing. One significant advice that I recall was that it isn’t about overcoming rejection but embracing rejection. I guess you can say the two are relatively synonymous but embracing rejection implies that we don’t push ourselves to eliminate rejection or forget about it but more so that understand that if it occurs, it is a further step in one’s learning and development. That’s how I see it.

So back to the story. Overall, the night was great. There was much to learn about myself and the logistics of the pickup in a nightclub environment. In short, I was unsuccessful in two pickups and the very last pickup was a success. Now for the time being, I’m deeming a pickup as either receipt of a girl’s phone number or a spontaneous moment of kissing/pashing.

First Occasion:

There is a girl leaning against the wall of the main dance area. I assume she is half Asian/Caucasian. She stands next to an average-height Asian male. I walk slowly and stand beside her watching the scene. The conversation below follows:

Me – “Hey. It’s me, John.”

Her – “.. what?”

Me – “It’s John, remember?”

Her – “Sorry..”

Me – “Nah, just kidding. How ya doing?”

I draw out my hand for a handshake.

She shakes my hand and smiles.

Her – “Good.”

Me – “What’s your name?”

She provides me her name. I can’t remember it. Lol

Me (in a joking manner) – “Wow, you certainly look Asian.”

I look around indicating the predominantly Asian crowd.

She laughs.

Her – “Yeah, I’m totally Asian.”

Me – “You look pretty lonely. You here by yourself?” (Ack! So clichéd)

Her – “Nope.”

She points to her male friend.

Me – “You with him?”

Her – “Yep.”

Me – “Well, nice meeting you.” Haha

I have to admit this was probably a really bad attempt to hit on a girl. Quite disappointed actually. But that’s what comes with a new kid to the game. She had a boyfriend and there definitely was a way of getting around that.

Second occasion:

I walk through a circle of people who are watching people brave enough to dance in the circle. I stagger as I almost trip over some girl’s leg. She smiles and is sympathetic. I walk off and smile back but at the same time, mischievously point back at her. I walk off a bit further and return to her. Before actually returning to her location, I see a guy close to her. This is the cockblock. I try to build rapport with him by acting silly through dance. The following conversation ensues:

Me – “You really hate me, don’t you?”

Her – “Haha. I didn’t mean it!”

Me – “Oh sure. Got something against me, huh?”

Her – “No!”

Me – “I’ll forgive you this time. What’s your name, anyway?”

She provides me her name. I don’t remember this girl’s name either.

Me – “You single?”

She points to the cockblock from before and says – “He’s my husband.”

Me – “Oh, that’s a shame then. Nice talking to you.”

Me - "I'm sorry I came up and spoke to you. Actually, I'm not."

haha

I thought this went better than the preceding occasion. I had a cue to return and the conversation went on more smoothly.

Third occasion:

I walk around and notice two girls standing by themselves, talking. I approach one of the girls and the following conversation starts:

Me – “Hey, can I borrow you for just two seconds? Just two seconds.”

She agrees as I pull her away.

Me – “Look. I’m not going to even try to hit on you and just get you to dance.”

I pull her away and we start dancing. She kinda sucked at dancing.. her hands were very feeble.

We start the small talk, finding out more about each other.

Eventually, I move in and slowly lean close to her and we start pashing.

And that’s it. Personally, I was pleased with the events of the night. The fact of the matter is that confidence takes precedence in how to approach a girl. With it, you feel a sense of invincibility. It sounds corny but really, that’s the vibe of it.

I will endeavour to share more once as I progress more.

Him and I were talking about it and we were saying, "man it is so shitty how women will shit-test you and take advantage of you whenever your guard slightly drops.  It's like being in a constant war, and you can't ease up for a second, or else a woman loses respect followed closely by attraction."

This sat badly on me for a day or so.

This is not my mentality and honestly something that I have against typical community thinking.  This also goes along with how a lot of guys believe that all women cheat on their boyfriends and husbands just because they've manage to seduce some girlfriends and husbands (sentiments that I heard again last night while watching the show "From G's to Gents" on MTV).

But to quote Thinker, "with the knowledge that you have, you are now in the top 1% of men and their abilities to understand women."  I.e., sure 99% of men may not fulfill their women's needs which causes the women to cheat on them, but I know that the likelihood that a woman will cheat on me is minimal at best, if not nonexistent.  Also, even if a woman that I was with DID cheat on me, I would be able to move on with my life with much more strength and clarity than most men would.

Anyway, I kept thinking about what we'd said because I didn't like the negativity of it.

Here are some fundamental truths.  Women are controlled by their emotions.  Not in a negative, it is comparable to say, men are controlled by logic.  Neither one is better than the other, it's just the truth.  Additionally, and this is from Nonex, "boundaries equal love, while letting someone run all over you is weakness."

So I talked to my friend again, and I told him this is how I would handle the situation:

If my girlfriend came home and bitched at me for not having dinner ready (even though it was not something that typically happened and she didn't ask), then I would walk over, hug her, and say, "hey, how was your day?  It sounds like you're stressed." 

Kiss her a little bit, sit her down on the couch, rub her feet, etc. 

Let her calm down a bit, then say, "look, I know that you're in a crappy mood, and I understand, but if you wanted dinner to be ready for when you came home, then I would appreciate if you asked me ahead of time, so I could have it ready for you.  But don't come and bitch at me about it, that's not cool."

I think that covers a lot of different bases.  It cuts off the negativity of the situation and interjects positivity (her coming in negative by bitching, me returning with understanding and loving behaviors) and it also sets up boundaries but not in a shitty or forceful way, but rather in a loving and positive way.

Of course, I don't mean to say that I would come with this behavior, only to have her return it by continuing her crappy attitude.  If she were to keep going in a negative line, then I would simple excuse myself, and go for a walk or get away from her.  I don't tolerate negativity, nor have negative people in my life.

Also, this is probably 95% of why my last relationship ended.  She would be negative, I would be positive, and she would keep on being negative.  Being with her was grating and affected my life for the worse.  She's not a bad person, just not the person I wanted to be with.

Anyway, I am going to be incredibly mindful of this for my relationships (mLTR or LTR) from this point forward.  I always want to keep love, positivity, and openness in all the relationships I have with women.

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