And Georgia men? Puh-- I've known enough of them to know the one thing they cherish more than Dale Earnhardt stickers and a mile high truck lift is a virgin (white preferable).

Have you heard? (feministing.com) Sure you have! You know the drill feminists--get out your "I am officially un-rape-able" book--you know the one where you logged the info of all the people you've " ever dated, or engaged in any sexual activity with, including their names, dates of interaction, and contact information."

According to one Judge in Bibb County Georgia (other county names in Georgia include: Butts, Coffee), this sort of info is pertinent to determine one's ability to have refused a sexual encounter (even a drugged one!). Your past sexual history can actually prove consent in a future sexual/possibly sexual encounter. Transferrable consent!

Like rollover minutes or something.

Of course the defining factor in this Georgia case is that the young woman was not a virgin. Not only that she had the audacity to accuse a young man on a high rung of the patriarchy: "the son of state Rep. Burke Day, whose family founded the Days Inn hotel chain."

Maybe the Bibb Judge is just trying to get him a lifetime guaranteed stay at Days Inn? (I love me some Days Inn ya'll!). For why else would he, after dismissing the woman's two sexual violence claims on accounta prior hymen removal, also fine her $150,000 for wasting the court's time with such a second class citizen??

Here is the fine Judge's info:

Judge S. Phillip Brown
601 Mulberry Street
310 Bibb County Courthouse
Macon, GA 31201
Work Phone: 478-621-6328

Go ahead and send him all that information you've been keeping about every single person you've ever dated and/or had sexual contact with. Maybe if he already has it on file you will at least avoid the 150K fine.

People tell me that I'm a pretty creative guy. I tend to believe them. I really really really like creativity and being creative. The problem that I often think through is that I'm not really sure what creativity is OR who should tell me what creativity is.

My personal opinion is that a creative idea is something that you thought of that no one else thought of, or at least you didn't know they thought of it.

I'm tired of calling creativity something like painting your bedroom blue because you like that color. You didn't think of a blue room, you saw that before. Paint blue flames on your wall. I think we can all bring it to a higher standard.

You?

And while we're here, I'd just like to chip in that creative people need to create things, or else they will get tired and burned out like bad firestarter. And furthermore, remember that all creative things will burn you out over time, but rest and the fire of God is never extinguished, no matter how much water you have.

Sitting on the train, surrounded by soggy people I noticed something which got me thinking. Now, this is either the type of paper used in Ireland, or perhaps unknown components in the Irish rain, but damp newspapers smell like vomit!

While we are on this interesting topic I think just cooked popcorn smells like vomit too. But it's strange how your sense of smell is linked to your taste yet in the case of popcorn it smells very different to how it tastes?? Does this mean we cannot trust these people that sniff wine, or what about people that enjoy the smell of their own gases - could this mean that this gas sniffer unknowingly makes all dishes with similar smells to the one they like, suddenly "Toad in the Hole" and especially "Bubble & Squeak" leave me thinking.

Now, do you have any taste, smell stories?

Note to self: You really need to put the paper and pen next to the bed. I’m sure it would have been a great, multiple comment-provoking blog and now it’s gone. *sigh*

i have not spoken to anyone today.  i mean, there was the man at the pc bang playing world of warcraft (or something) that helped me sign on when i ignorantly placed my cursor in the wrong field (it was in korean, and i'm stupid...what do you expect?), and then there was the man i bought water, noodles, and cigarettes from.  but the extent of our interaction was to place my items on the counter, point at the cigarettes, and pull my own pack of cigarettes out.  he told me my total, i gave him money, i received change, nodded my head in gratitude, and i left.  oh, and there was the teenage korean girl who said hello to me as i walked by.  yet again, someone is very proud that they know some english. 

so since i can't leave, and i've been doing nothing but talking about how in awe i am of everything, let's talk about some not so cool things in korea.

first, are the smells.  i know america would smell bad to koreans.  but my nose is not trained for all of this.  it's too cool outside to run my air conditioner, so i have my windows open.  something not unlike the scent of an open sewer line is wafting in and out of my apartment.  it also didn't help when i cooked my dinner.  korean food all has a slight fishy scent to it.  it didn't taste fishy, but it left my whole apartment smelling like fish food.  mmm mmm!

now, we're going to talk about my eating situation.  every other storefront seems to be a restaurant.  most have pictures of strange looking meaty dishes in the window.  i walked by one place today that smelled very good, and i was able to tell it was a fried chicken restaurant.  i, however, have no idea how to go about getting vegetarian food. 

i'm kind of just eating stuff that doesn't outright have giant chunks of meat in it.  this means i have been eating mostly ramyeon from the corner store.  i did buy spaghetti stuff at lotte mart.  even though the sauce was an imported american brand, it tasted like water with tomato chunks in it.  i bought some bread, but it tastes strange.  not bad, but strange.  it'll take some getting used to.  i got a popsicle from a store on the street yesterday since it was so hot.  i've been drinking a lot of vending machine coffee (i swear, i love that stuff).  i ate those strange potato snacks.  and i ate pizza at work.  that pretty much sums up what i've eaten.  i have a list of korean foods, and i imagine once i learn hangol (the alphabet) i'll be able to look at a menu and eat a little more nutritiously, but for now, i'm on the korean crap diet.  luckily, my appetite has completely dropped off, so it's not like i'm hungry.  just depriving my body of essential nutrition.  :)

i think i just heard someone puke on the street.  ah ha ha ha!

now, let's talk about the weather.  when i landed, it was relatively cool and way humid.  friday, it was hotter than hell.  yesterday, it wasn't quite as hot, but i still sweated up a storm walking around.  today, it was a little overcast and ever so slightly warm in the afternoon.  now it's rainy and kind of chilly.

and we all joke about how houston has jumpy weather.

i don't know if i've covered this in other entries, but koreans like to stare at foreigners.  this, i was prepared for.  but the people who were talking about this when i was researching this place weren't kidding.  they stare.  and point.  and laugh.  and, i'm guessing, talk shit.  i've got thick skin, so i can deal with it.  I'm guessing, though, that the fact that i'm not just a foreigner, but a curly headed, big chested, tallish foreigner isn't helping me blend in.  maybe i should get a straight perm, dye my hair black, hide my round eyes behind sunglasses, wear a sports bra and baggy clothes, and lose 400 lbs.  then i'll blend in.  :) 

don't get me wrong, i don't feel like i'm being treated badly.  they stare, but whenever anyone has noticed that i need help they help.  whenever i am being served or waited on in a bank or store, they are very gracious and polite.  so they're very welcoming once you give them the chance to be, but they are very standoffish in passing.

all of that said, i think korea is the coolest place ever.  cooler than anywhere i have ever been.  i'm glad i'm here, seeing and doing all of this crazy stuff.

interesting fact i learned from a coworker:  adult koreans who understand english do not like the word crazy.  like, if you're being funny, i might say "ha ha, you're crazy", or if a kid is being hyperactive, you might call their behavior crazy, but if i said that to a korean, they would be offended because they think lunatic-who-belongs-in-an-asylum.  crazy, isn't it?

I felt like i was the only one sitting there thinking this is the worst thing i have ever seen/heard in my life. it was really bad...it was 2 hours and 15 minutes of BAD. What was worse was all these parents sitting around me just loving it. It was awful I wanted to shove a pen in my ear to stop the out of tune'ness invading my ear drums.

I realized that all these people had the parent disease which I am glad to say I don't. Only parents could think that noise was any good.

I'd like to think (and I will for as long as I can hold out) that I will never catch the parent disease even when i become a parent. There's encouraging your kid and then there's a point where you have to stop and let them discover they suck on their own.

One pro i will say about something like this if you don't have the parent disease but must still attend...it actually is rather funny how bad it is. The hard part is laughing without people noticing, I had a hard time with that. And the saving grace for my own experience was some kid during the song he was singing in the choir just up and hurled not only on himself but others around him. it was priceless. like something from out of the movies as a cheap laugh. seriously. he just all of a sudden mid song puked. he got the girl in front of him which i'm sure was wearing her "nice dress", he got the kid beside him who was wearing a nice white dress shirt, he got himself and he was also wearing a white shirt and a few other people via the splatter as it hit the ground. It was good, dont' get me wrong but definitely not worth sitting there for 2 hours and 15 minutes wishing you were watching grass grow.

This experience gives me ear splitting RAGE

~deafly RAGING

Meat and I start out what seems to be a normal night. Get dinner at the D, drink some margs, walk to the game. The whole time I'm getting excited to heckle what I believe to be the worst fans ever to emerge from a city that resembles my last dump. As we are walking we can hear a lot of other Avalanche fans expressing the same feelings that we have.

The game starts and is SOP is in effect......get some beers. As we walk to our section we notice that we are completely surrounded by douche bags in red. This can't be good I think to myself. Avs score one and take the early lead. This gives us ample room to talk shit. Shortly after, the lead was taken away, we wouldn't get it back for the rest of the game. I resort to third grade behaviour at this point. Meeting up with a friend and his dad resulted in shots and more beer........I am now a little more cocked. I realize I cannot stand these plugs sitting around me. Its like all the crap that didn't even play hockey growing up because their parents thought they might get hurt, yet somehow they are huge hockey fans. Douche! Plug! I start chriping.......as we all know how I love to do that. I raise a scene such that the usher has to scold me. I calm down for a few and am right back at it.

Well, the game ends with unfavorable results and I start going at it real hard at this point. So much that I put 2 and 2 together and realize I have beer in my hand and there are douche bags all around me, so I pour the remaining contents onto one of their heads. He didn't really like that too much, neither did the entire section. Ground zero douche tries diving after me through Meat. Meat grabs him quickly and puts him in a headlock. Meanwhile I am laughing my ass off shoving what seems like 10 people off of me. Basically a fucking melee of red coming after 2 guys that find the entire scene hysterical. Some chick does manage to elbow me in the face, makes me laugh harder and infuriates her more. HAHA! This goes on for a little while before the usher decides to step in and give us and escort outta there. Probably a good thing. I run into a few people I know, Colorado is small, I haven't grown up a bit.

Night wasn't over yet, I had managed to throw up on one of the statues off of Spear in front of the convention center while peeing and waving at traffic. Also managed to walk home the 2.5 miles somehow. Puked again in the comfort of my own home.

Evil JoJo,

I took you in knowing that you had some problems. Your foster Mom told me about the electrocution thing, but you've been pretty good about cords since you got here. You shit on my head the night before a funeral (you had worms, but that's no excuse!) and I still let you live in my house. Most people would say that's pretty generous.

I can't have any kind of living plants in the house because you EAT THEM. Not broccoli or carrots or asparagus, but roses and tulips and carnations are just tasty! You eat tampon wrappers, cigarette package cellophane, raw chicken if I turn my back for more than 3 seconds, bugs, stickers, peanut M&Ms and dust balls. Oh, and entire rolls of toilet paper. And then you make a show out of vomiting just when I've climbed into bed. You, my little ninja, learned to push my buttons early on.

Also, I totally busted you on top of the fridge the other night eating Meow Mix through the hole you scratched in the bag. Now all extra food has to go into the storage space because there's no other kitteh-proof space for it. I need all my cabinet room, bitch.

You consistently shovel the sugar out of the sugar bowl and all over the kitchen floor - the counter is not your sandbox! You spend so much time digging around in your litter-igloo in the middle of the night that every time I clean the pan, I am convinced that a tunnel to China will be under there. Why, then, must you tamper with the most precious of my morning rituals - the making of the first cup of coffee? You know you don't eat until after I've gone in the fridge for the half-and-half, why delay me by making me SWEEP first thing in the morning?

This isn't college, I shouldn't have to wear flip-flops in my own house to avoid stepping in something nasty or having a sugary-coating on my soles every morning.

Baby Kitty,

You know you are my uncontested favorite, but Princess, we need to talk.

You do not own the bathroom. I've never been very shy, I can strip, sneeze and pee in front of almost anyone, but the owl-eyed examination you give me from your chaise sink makes me a tad uncomfortable.

I'd also like to remind you that I am allowed to close the door while attending to my toiletries. You must choose to be either inside or outside of the bathroom before I get into the shower. There is no changing your mind halfway through, so spend some time shedding on the towels and please stop ramming the door with your HEAD when it's locked. I can't afford a vet bill because you gave yourself a concussion when you heard the toilet flush and realized you weren't there to witness it, and I'm also not getting out of the shower to open the door because the steam has offended your delicate sensibilities.

I know you're beautiful, you know you're beautiful, everyone knows you're the prettiest pussy around, but hairballs of the kind which you leave for me are not cool. On the floor on my side of the bed in the early morning hours? Not cool. In the bathroom in front of the toilet - not cool. Here's a compromise - you eat your anti-hairball goo and I'll clean up any hairballs not in major apartment thru-ways.

Also, please learn to tell time. Dinner is served after it is dark outside. If I go into the kitchen at noon to make a sandwich, it does not mean that it is gooshy food time. If I go into the kitchen at 1:30 to get a drink, it is still not gooshy food time. If you need a clock, just follow your sister onto the counter whle she's doing the sugar bowl thing and you should be able to see it just fine.

But if I could give you one bit of motherly advice, it would be something that I've been told many, many times over the years - whining is not attractive, so knock it off.

A quick note to both of you - PACE YOURSELVES! The dry food is ALWAYS out, fat kids. The gooshy food is served at 8am and 7pm. Just because you remember that the dry food is there, doesn't mean that it's gone when you go on your next spaced-out trip hunting imaginary bugs. No need to gorge yourself, honestly. We're not a concentration camp, nor are you Somalian orphans. Also, only dogs eat puke. C'mon now, you're better than that.

To your credit, you're both wonderful snugglers and your sweetness warms my heart in the fleeting moments that I get to experience it. You have full run of the house, more food than you could eat in a lifetime and enough fuzzy-jingly-dangly-feathery toys to stock a Petco, so lets all try to get along. I'm fine with you walking on my face at 2am on your shortcut across the bed. I've resigned myself to a life covered in cat hair and filled with meering. You have personal perches I made to let you watch the neighborhood goings-on, and as much as I've wanted to, I've never put you in a sweater. I restrict my pettins to cheeks-and-chin only and am fluent in twitchy-tail. I like to think I'm a pretty good mom.

In consideration of the aforementioned complaints, it is expected that you will amend your behavior and act like ladies from this point forward. I'd really like to stop carrying a gun and I bet you'd enjoy walking through the house without having to shake your paws off.

Love,

Mom

people in japan make millions a year doing hardly anything. also, they drink so much they puke. its a vicious, but envious circle.

link thieved from lao-ocean-girl (a much more interesting, comprehensive, and useful blog about korea everything. also, i cant say i dont visit frequently in hope of a new pic of everyones favourite topless dane),

Time: one and one half hours

Temperature: 97 degrees

I am tagging along with Brianna to her hot yoga class. Please keep in mind that I have never done yoga in any type of communal setting before, and I am not very flexible. This has disaster written all over it. It starts at 5:45 (just two short hours from now) and I just ate some oatmeal. I have a feeling that this was a particularly bad idea because what happens if I puke? Another thing about oatmeal- how can something with the most disgusting consistency taste so delicious?

Update: Hot yoga was amazing. I feel incredible, and the oatmeal stayed in my stomach. It was hot as hell in there- I was sweating like crazy- but something about the heat made me really limber. I guess that's what it is supposed to do, so I was pleased I didn't look like a complete fool. I caught on to the poses fairly quickly. The only one I couldn't get was the eagle. I don't get what you are supposed to do with your hands. I think I may be a yoga convert if I can find a place that's a bit cheaper.

Note: the tree pose is my absolute favorite.

Yesterday I had two different events that I entertained at.  A Spring Kickoff for a Garden and Nursery and then a First Communion party.  The Spring Kickoff was four hours of balloon twisting followed by an hour break before another two hours.  As I drove to the four hour event I began feeling noxious and knew something wasn't right.  I have never had to take a break mid party and for the first time in eight years, I stopped for a good 10 minutes and walked out to my car to take a breather.  I felt that at any moment a child was going to request for me to make a some sort of balloon creation and I would follow up with a response that began with projectile vomit flying out of my mouth all over the child.  I can promise that I wouldn't be asked back for next years spring kick off, that's for sure.

I fought my way through the event feeling worst than I have ever felt while entertaining.  I don't know if anyone knew it, but I faked fun the whole time.

On to the next party.  It started at six pm and by the time I arrived, the stomach cramps, headaches, and dizziness had taken on a whole new level.  I pushed through it regardless of the fact that at this party the children were actually climbing on me.  Literally climbing on my back and shoulders while I twisted balloons for children.  On one hand I was thankful that they had a couch for me to sit back on since I felt like ass while I twisted balloons, but on the other, it gave the children the impression that I love having them climb on my head as if I were their uncle.

As I left the second party I began to shiver uncontrollably and if the stomach cramps, headache, and cottonmouth didn't alert me to the problem that certainly did.  By the time I had gotten home and taken my temp I was at 102 degrees.  Not that having a temperature is weird for people or anything, but for the first time in my adult life, I had a fever.  Seriously.  I have been sick dozens upon dozens of time, but never a fever.  My wife panicked since she had never seen me with anything above a 98 degree temp.

After a rough night of little sleep and horrific stomach pains, I decided to go ahead and head out to Great America today.  Bad decision.  A word of advice, never ride the Iron Wolf roller coaster while nursing a headache.  For what I thought would be a great day at the park, I ended up riding a couple of rides, picking up my discounted season pass (nerd, I know) and calling it a day.  I don't know if it was the rides today or the fact that I though eating fried chicken, potato salad, and a hot dog was a good idea.

The weirdest part of the last two days is that I am sick of balloons, which doesn't bode well since I am a balloon entertainer.  I don't know if it was the twisting sick thing or if I have hit a wall, but this weekend made me seriously rethink the whole "I want to exclusively be a balloon guy for a living" mentality.

Hopefully that feeling will go away once I feel better since my next night of balloon fun is Tuesday night.

I filled that sucker over half full it was gross...  that was only one time of getting sick..

about every few minutes I was fightin to make it to the potty..  icky!!!  Thanks to the peeps who cleaned up the trash can for me...  that was nasty..  now my muscles hurt.  I want cuddles.

Time: Two hours

Holy God- this was amazing. I have never been so awful at anything in my life, but it sure was fun. Randomly, the trapeze school is in a Jordan's Furniture. If you are not familiar with this establishment, it is the most bizarre chain of furniture stores you could imagine. At various locations, they have such things as: motion rides/movies, Mardi Gras, Boston scenes made out of jellybeans (seriously- Make Way for Ducklings!) and lighted water shows choreographed to music. The one in Reading has the trapeze school (and the jellybeans and the water show.)

So you walk in and the trapeze set up is right there by the front door. It was much narrower than I had imagined, but there were nets and harnesses. You get into this tight belt (like a corset- I swear my waist decreased by three inches) and then you climb up three flights of stairs to the top of the platform. They put two safety ropes on you, you hold on to a bar on the side with one hand and grab the trapeze with the other, then move your other hand to the trapeze, they yell "Hup!" (that's what it sounds like anyway) and you do a small jump and fly off the platform.

When you are in the air, you may feel like you are going to throw up. This is not a good idea because there are people sitting at tables nearby eating ice cream and watching you. You swing back and forth and try to get your legs up on the bar so you can dangle, but it is much harder than it looks. Amy did it the first time, Brianna the second, and I did it on the third. I had no idea how much abs come into play with this activity, but it has certainly inspired me to work on mine. Brianna and Amy advanced to the catch portion of the lesson- they got to let go of the trapeze and try to be caught by this guy. Brianna succeeded twice, Amy once, and I didn't get that far because I didn't do so well with the trapeze. I did get my legs up so I could hang, but that's as far as I got (and frankly, the idea of hurtling through the air for this guy that is like 5'3" to catch me didn't really excite me.)

Anyway, you should do this because it is awesome. And you can see Wally the Green Monster eat a Yankees player.

are you bi? -No

are you straight? -No

then what are you? -I'm just slutty....

HAHA! thanks for the quote dean... haha

FRIDAY = half day off reloaded! = social rest day (almost)... haha

my last "half day off" for this month for my NS that i am clearing... haha... and i thought it wld be nice to have my social rest day =D haha

well... almost... haha... it didn't last... lalala

it started off well.. some alone time shopping at heeren -> wisma -> ngee ann -> shaw centre -> bugis street -> esplanade -> suntec

omg... haha... just a thought though... haha.. how do pple shop at bugis street?!?! like how? wow.. it is like so hard... small messy shops with a heck load of people squeezing thru and the temperature in the "street tent" is just SOOO hot... and i am referring to it literally! gosh! haha

sweat ... so much... haha

but my 'social rest' bit soooo didn't last... haha..

instead.. i totally accepted my friend's invite to club with him and his friends at that... hmm... 'underground' club i so speak of on my last entry... haha!

but the problem was that i sweat so much while shopping at bugis street i afraid i was stinking when i meet my friends.. haha... i was so desprete.. haha.. i ran from suntec to citylink to raffles city trying to hunt down a perfume shop! haha!

but all were closing =/

HA! but being brilliant me... i rmbr that 7 eleven sells this body wipe from birore or something... haha... and when i left the train station.. i saw a 7-11 and OMG... haha SO HAPPY! haha... and i found the product... haha... and i went to the restrooms and start wiping myself all over with this antibacterial plus instant freshening product! haha ...

actually after using the product... my skin ard my body felt SOOOO smoooooth.... haaaaaa

and yes that was why i took so long from the station to the club.. haha

NO CAMERA>>>>> NOOOOOO!!!!!

hahaha .. omg.. i was so stupid... thinking that i don't need a camera during my social rest day... omg... haha...

and also to think it was alright to dress like crap during my social rest day... haha...

OMG! i sooo regret hahaha... i mean like cos' i didn't dress properly or bring my camera... i paid for it when i went to club! haha

my dressing SUCKED - nuff' said... and without my camera i can't photos of my friends and myself... and one of my friend's camera battery was dying! haha... so can't take too! haha so sad... and the photos he took of me... SUCKED... i look FUGLY in those photos... stupid but needed flash...haha... so sad... haha.. hope he censors my face in that pic on his blog (if he post it that is)... haha

but this are the photos taken with my RAZR V9 =)

(can u see thru all that noise? ahha)

SATURDAY! my friend who is leaving for Brunei next week!

TO yong chang: LIAR!!!!!

my friend is like gonna get posted to brunei for his national service and stuff.. how cool is that! haha... well his pay there that is hahaha!

and i gotta to hang out with him just before he leaves Singapore
(well almost... cos' u are such a liar yong chang... haha... and i know u are reading this! hahahhaa... joking joking haha! )

SO the day was split like two parts.... the first part was my choice.... the second is his choice... haha

for me... i wanted to used that time to drop by newurbanmale.com (OMG! i actually shopped there? ahaha!) to return like a bag that i didn't like for ... hmm... reasons (?) haha... but they have no refund policy!!! WTF... omg... they only allowed me to exchange to something else... like omg! i hated it!

so like they forced me to buy like more stuff from them... and the bag being awkwardly priced at 69.90... i had to get like two tees to cover that price PLUS i had to top it up with actual cash.. like omg... so i wld be spending like $110 at newurbanmale.com ??
.... wow... like gosh... i am now forced to do that...

and I AM SOO BROKE! boo!

P.S. read the receipt ..... haha... damn funny! haha... the grammar totally suck (check out the second sentence.. haha... not that i am good at grammar either! .... haha

the second part of the day yong chang and me when to the National Library... haha

he wanted to get this book by this particular author... haha.. and i thought of getting my book to teach me CSS haha... but i didn't get it... cos' he was telling me to use dreamweaver instead! haha!  -i.e. i didn't get anything at the library... ahha

P.S. YES! i am trying to learn this CSS thing .. haha... and i wanna make my own BLOG SKIN! heeee! -SO WATCH OUT FOR IT! HAHA!
any tips or hints? email me at sebastian@sebastianho.com =D

the day ended with us dropping by a concert at ngee ann city plaza... haha... it was some environmental concert... haha
...does this make up for my lack of attendance at the the Aids Awareness Event @ cine?? hahaha!

oh yea... and coincidentally i got an email stating that earth day is soon! like april 22! haha

there was suppose to be a part 4... hmm... ZOUK TEE PARTY! haha...

so SAD so SAD! i didn't go !!!

stupid newurbanmale!!!! made me spend so much money just to return a bag... damn... and made me SOOO broke... that i can't afford for zouk's tee party =/ ... sigh... sad right? -must financially recuperate haha

MISC!

ASIAN FOOD! haha... its been so long since i ate asian food (excluding in-camp food!) haha

and i tried this thai restaurant... quite amazing! haha! so so good

evidence!! i ain't lying abt it! haha!!

THE ABOVE WAS AT THIS THAI RESTURANT @ SIXTH AVENUE.... totally awesome! hahha

=D

OKAY BUT!!!! TOTALLY DIFFERENT AT FOOD REPUBLIC @ SUNTEC

i decided to try my luck again with asian food AT:

FOOD REPUBLIC @ SUNTEC!

and OMG.... it looked like vomit!! SEE:

so gross right?!?! they actually expect pple to put THAT?? in their mouth? gosh! ekkk!

on other news! haha...my friend always think i healthily... haha ... NOT! haha.. just had this TODAY! =D hahahaha

SUPER COW! in search of (insert you know who) ?? haha!

sabby out!

... was listening to Paris Hilton! HAHAHAH! like OMG! what happen to me right? hahaha

Last night I had to go to The Church and put a few things on the bulletin board for Primary because the pictures of the kids didn't take up nearly as much space as I thought they would. Mr. B asked me very nicely if we could please go home yet. I told him we would head home as soon we went to w.a.l.m.a.r.t and I picked up cat food, lysol, and PAM. While in said store, Mr. B sat calmly and quietly in the cart, occasionally asking if I got "the list stuff" yet so we could go home.

"Let's PLEASE be Homies, Momma." he said softly.

I relented (because that place is just a disaster and a mess and was super crowded!) and we checked out with our stuff and made our way to the car.

"Are you hungry?" I asked.

"Yes, Momma." he replied. "I would like cereal for dinner please."

"Sorry, buddy" I said, "Daddy said we aren't allowed to eat cereal for dinner anymore. It's not healthy. How about a bean burrito?"

"Ok," he said.

I ran to Taco Bell, grabbed two bean burritos without onions, drove home, unloaded the bags and we sat down to eat.

"My beans are yucky, Momma." Mr. B informed me.

Thinking he just wanted to eat mine, I let him take a bite to see they were the same.

"Yours is yummy, Momma. May I please eat more?"

"Eat two more bites of yours and then you can have more of mine." I told him.

He obeyed. I shared the rest of mine and we got ready for bed. All he wanted to do was sit on my lap, so we went into my bedroom and sat in the rocking chair for a little bit. Anyone who knows my son knows that he doesn't just want to sit on anyone's lap for long, so I suspected that he wasn't feeling well. That feeling was confirmed when he fell asleep on my lap a few moments later.

Not wanting this rare and tender moment to pass, I just sat there and held him for a few minutes. My baby. My big boy. My son.

Mr. B coughed. The coughed again. Then he started to choke a little. I lifted up his head and out spewed half of the dinner he ate. And let me tell ya, bean burritos don't smell so great after they've been ruminating around in a young boy's stomach for a few minutes.

Still half asleep, I tried to stand Mr. B up to keep us from stepping in the PUKE, and he came to enough to stand there and look around and say, "What is all that stuff, Momma? It's stinky."

Then he started to cough again. And then he started to PUKE so more. I lifted him up by the arms in an attempt to swing him into our bathroom, which only ended in PUKE being spewed on the door, cabinet, floor, and around the bottom of the toilet. Mr. B stood looking down into the toilet water and managed to spit ONE BEAN into the water. ONE BEAN when my whole room looked as though someone had exploded in it.

Now, I have never, NEVER, cleaned up PUKE before. Spit-up, bird poop, stinky diapers, dog throw up, lots of other gross things I have dealt with. But not PUKE. It stinks! It's nasty! It's just gross!!!

I had to strip Mr. B down to his chonies and get clean jammies on him. Then he rinsed his mouth out, brushed his teeth, and climbed into his own bed with his very own PUKE bowl resting next to him. And then came the hard part. If it wasn't for her, I don't know what I would have done to get the smell out of the carpet.

It took me 8 teakettles of water and 16 towels to clean up the entire mess so my room didn't smell like PUKE anymore. I looked kinda like this girl, but I was stepping on towels and sopping up boiling hot water.

I did discover something, though. If I used a dry, dark towel and put it on the boiling water right after I poured it, I could step on it and write my initials and other shapes on the towel (until I had to keep stepping to keep soaking up the PUKE water).

When Gila Man called from work to see what I was up to, he got quite an earfull. We finally just laughed about it and reminded each other about how there's a first time for EVERYTHING. Even PUKE.

But you can bet your bottom we're having cereal for dinner tonight.

I'm about to relate a story attributed to an anonymous source. As journalism class and The Wire taught us, be wary. The girl that told me this might be a compulsive liar, or I might be a compulsive liar, so be wary. Also, I make unwarranted disparaging remarks about Nairobi, for which I apologize in advance.

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Friend X: i had a very umm sobering experience last night
Allan: ?
Friend X: and im gonna try to avoid going out at least untill next weekend when my ex is here visitig
i was wasted really wasted
and a cabbie took advantage of that
he literally threw me out of the cab and on to the pavement and took off with my wallet and phone in there
Sent at 7:24 PM on Monday
Friend X: im covered in bruises and found blood in my hair and am pretty much terrified
Allan: omg
Friend X: yeah.
Allan: what is this, nairobi?
Friend X: exactly
my roommate came home today
and i said jenn i think i need a hug
and was completely serious
i just started crying
kinda a wreck
and in drinking too much ive been puking all day
which is sucky in general but it hurts too cuz im so bruised up
apparently someone found the wallet and called wcities today
i met up with them in the mission (while trying not to puke on the bus)
and got it back but he took all 100 in cash which i expected
but every penny too
and my muni pass
nairobi.
Allan: where did he pick you up?
Friend X: in front of kilowatt
Allan: wow that makes it mission relevant. can i put your story on my blog if i promise not to call you a hater?
Friend X: yeah if you just say " a friend of mine"
or name changed
Allan: i just think the public has a right to know it's fuckin nairobi out there.
guard your kidneys bitches!
Friend X: no kidding
im honestly wondering if i should go to a dr to make sure i dont have a concussion or anything
plus i feel like an idiot
and i was blackout drunk which is bad
and i dont remember a significant portion of my night
but i do remember what happened and how terrifying it was
Allan: yeah i'd grab a checkup
Sent at 7:35 PM on Monday
Friend X: i have a lump on my temple from where i hit my head
and am super bruised all over

So if you get blotto at Kilowatt or anywhere else, hold on to your organs.

Link to Kilowatt.

Link to more crime-related Mission Mission coverage.

Link to post in which I call somebody a hater.

Photo: stoney taxi view by jfredericksen