When is Ashton Kutcher going to jump out and tell us we're being Punk'd?

"No se asusten. Yo sé que están buscando a Jesús, el que murió en la cruz.6 No está aquí; volvió a vivir, como lo había anunciado." Mateo 28:5-6

JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA

JESUS es lo máximo!!!

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Sounds good. Plus the hosts are two cute and funny contractors, Neil Davis (from Real Renos) and Jay Purvis. Of course, I already watch "So You Think You Can Dance" on Thursdays. Wonder if it's worth timeshifting?

Uh oh. An Australian and a Brit? Cute accents, too?! Now I might have to watch.

For this post Click Here:

(Oh, they get all fucking bitchy when "heathens" mess with the "3:16" verbiage, but it's just fine when THEY do it.)

So anyway, in this episode, there's some stupid girl, and this is supposed to be haw haw funny, but it's not, because the host spends the first minute or so preaching, and then the funny begins, and it's sort of funny, but in that sick way like when you're watching 20 trains crashing into one baby at the same time...like, there's just so much wrong with it, you just don't even know where to begin.

First, watch the video:

Okay, now, what's sick about this is:

1. That there's a "Christian" haha funny version of Punk'd called Prank 3:16, first and foremost.
2. That these people actually take those Left Behind bullshit books seriously, because, ladies, it's not even in the Bible.
3. That people who believe in Teh Rapture think it's funny to convince somebody who REALLY believes in Teh Rapture that they've been "Left Behind," possibly scarring the victim for life, since, for these people, this is eternity they're talking about.
4. That the girl starts boo-hooing and you almost hear the cash register in Tim LaHaye's ass explode when the girl moos "I think we were Left Behind!" What? "Left Behind!" Why are you capitalizing those letters, girl? "I'm not!" No, seriously, I can hear you capitalizing the letters! "Left Behind!!!!"
5. And then her friends come out all like "Hardy-har, you thought you were going to have to have buttsex with the antichrist and then go to hell! We made you question your entire faith in God and now you'll probably second guess it for the rest of your life! HAHA! YOU'VE BEEN PRANK 3:16'ED!!"

Fundamentalists are such sick people. If I've forgotten any of the ways that video is completely fucking sick, lemme know in the comments.

Seriously. Up 15 cents in one week?  This is affecting my pleasant disposition. I'm even starting to get ornary with gas station attendants.

Special Thanks to Dave Confer, West Orange High School TV Production Class, West Orange High School Administration, the Orange County Sheriffs, and of course Spencer for being such a good sport.

A video for all you RSS Readers...

So here is what I am going to do...I greatly enjoy the show Punk'd and now Punk'd is going to make its way to Windermere. I am extremely bummed that Brooks and Richard are not going to be here to take part in this. I do want to preface the videos with this...it is never my intention in embarrass anyone in front of other friends...and I will do everything I can to make sure that this doesn't happen. Prepare to get Punk'd...

About 10 minutes later, The Boy called.  Almost immediately, the phone 'binked' letting me know i had another call coming in - from The Girl.  Knowing that conversations with The Boy tend to be brief, i figured i'd finish up with him, and call her back afterwards.  Besides, i'm not good mucking around with the phone while driving*.  The 'binking' continued - seemed The Girl was impatient to talk, so i wrapped things up with The Boy and hung up.

Working the "missed calls" register, i returned the call to The Girl.  Or at least i tried.  Was aggravated when The Boy picked up. 

daisyfae:  Shit.  Sorry.  i was trying to call The Girl.

The Boy:  You've been punk'd!  We decided to both call you back at the same time to see which one of us you love more.

Yep.  The little bastard was visiting his sister.  When i called them both in succession, they decided to synchronize the callbacks to see what happened if i got calls from them both at exactly the same moment.  Since that didn't work, The Boy just kept hitting redial on his sisters phone the entire time we were chatting.

Talking with The Girl, she was jokingly resigned - "guess you love him more". 

Not really the case, though.  i simply tend to worry about him more.  For those of you who've been following along, this will come as no surprise...

_____

* i'm much better at sending e-mails from the blackberry while driving.

This is hilarious to me! Kids, this is what happens when you continuously mess up. You become a walking billboard with such a negative image.

A mugshot of the 21-year-old actress, who has been in and out of rehab after two arrests last year on drunken driving and cocaine charges, was prominently featured Friday in an advertisement attacking legislation for devices that measure a driver's blood alcohol level before their vehicle can start.

The full-page black-and-white ad appeared in USA Today on Friday and was paid for by the American Beverage Institute, a trade group that supports the interests of the alcohol industry. The ad reads "Ignition interlocks are a good idea for" above Lohan's mug shot from her July 24, 2007 arrest and "But a bad idea for us" above smaller photos of people drinking.

"The reason that we used Lindsay Lohan is because she's had multiple DUIs that have been high profile," American Beverage Institute managing director Sarah Longwell told The Associated Press. "We needed to create the distinction for the public what someone with multiple DUIs looked like versus a low blood-alcohol-level first-time offender."

And really, you don't think of any of the series' stars as major players, but between them they wield a lot of influence. Makes you wonder if they're all still tight; I mean, sure, they'll all do Seth Green's Robot Chicken every episode, but Kutcher and Topher jumped ship early so who knows? Aside: How does Seth Green get so many random people to do voices for Chicken? Wikipedia has a list. From Hulk Hogan and Stan Lee to Cee-Lo and Scarlett Johansson.

But anyway, with the outrageously cute performance Mila Kunis turned in for Sarah Marshall (the only thing stopping me from developing a huge crush is her and boyfriend Macaulay Culkin's World of Warcraft habit), she's just a cameo away from being a regular part of Judd Apatow's stable of comedy brilliance. By appearing alongside Jonah Hill and Paul Rudd and the gang, she's only a step removed from Seth Rogen, Steve Carell, Will Ferrell and therefore the rest of the Brat Pack. In my opinion, once you're in good with Jack Black and Vince Vaughn, you're in good with the only people that matter. Hell, Ben Stiller was in Anchorman, and he's done films with everybody. DeNiro, even.

Plus, Ashton Kutcher not only married into the Demi Moore/Bruce Willis power family, he's also like a big-shot producer. Sure, What Happens in Vegas looks like trash (as does Cameron Diaz most of the time. I said it.) but he's got Punk'd and Beauty and the Geek under his belt. A bit part in Reindeer Games links him to Ben Affleck and Gary Sinise, too.

Meanwhile, Topher Grace (the highlight of the series, not coincidentally) pulls in the big names. For chrissakes, he was in Ocean's 11 and 12, so there's Pitt, Clooney, Damon, Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones. He also gets Dennis Quaid from In Good Company, a big coup, and Michael Douglas from Traffic. Not a bad showing.

Danny Masterson does respectably, thanks to appearances in Face/Off (netting Cage and Travolta) and The Faculty (which had a ton of notable youngsters - Jon Stewart, Elijah Wood, Josh Hartnett, Salma Hayek, even Usher).

And for the heritage acts, Debra Jo Rupp (the mom) not only did Friends and Seinfeld, she did Big with Tom Hanks. Kurtwood Smith (Red) was in A Time to Kill with McConaughey, Sandra Bullock, L. Jack and Kevin Spacey; Dead Poets Society with Robin Williams, Ethan Hawke and that guy from Sports Night; Star Trek VI with Shatner, Nimoy, etc.; and Girl, Interrupted with Jolie, Winona Ryder and Jared Leto. And Rambo III. And Robocop. Not bad.

Not pulling their weight: Laura Prepon. I guess being a Scientologist would logically link her to Tom Cruise, though, right?

Not to mention Wilmer Valderrama was in Beauty Shop with Mr. Bacon, so he's only a degree from the man himself. And he dated Lindsay Lohan for a while. What was that about?

Anybody huge they aren't a step or two away from?
Acenate

It's interesting that they decided to make him look beaten up for the interior shots (and they go into his childhood somewhat in the story, which may be one of the reasons why), and I bet the photography was great right up to the moment when they put his face directly into the spine. Good job guys. I was trying to decide whether or not this was deliberate, like maybe they were trying to hammer home the underdog theme they seem to be trying to get across, but ... it looks dumb.

Moving on... the contents pages do little to make me excited, but a little farther on there are some really interesting and well-designed singlepage product/up-front type stuff. Even if I'm really having a hard time finding anything interesting to read, I think these pages LOOK great. They make me want to try to read them (and in some cases you really have to try, there's a thin, san-serif font used a lot in here which is kinda hard to read over the murky, grayish paper and beige or earth colored backgrounds). The product photography looks all original to the magazine, and is ok, hardly inspiring. But the designer's use of white space and breaking up the grid with dashed lines and small graphics, as well as a multitude of mostly good, smaller images combined with not too much type (just too small sometimes) really save the whole front of book.

This made me stop and look ('cos I couldn't figure out where they'd got a picture of me naked from the waist up).

One thing that strikes me about the photography in Details is the studio-lit feel of everything, even stuff that's been obviously shot outdoors. It's not bad, but I personally find it a little too sterile. Having said that, I love this shot by Nicholas Prior of a kid in a basement. The office blowjob photo is just kinda meh. Neither here nor there.

Still, I just can't get over the sense of blah that I get from this magazine. It's like the magazine equivalent of listening to a recording of office background noise - immediately recognizable, completely inoffensive, and easy to ignore. It's a single 35 year old who lives in an apartment on his own, has a black leather couch, plasma screen, a frameless black and white photo of Manhattan and drives a Nissan 350Z. It's a dentist's waiting room. It's middle-aged guys everywhere copying George Clooney's haircut circa 1997. It's beige. Know what I mean?

Not to name names but here are a few I've noticed:

Apprentice-winner-turned-realtor, Top-Model-contestant-turned-1 vs. 100-contestant, Early-Punk'd-episode-camera-hog-turned-Overweight-Most-Smartest-Model, The-Bachelor-turned-realtor, Punk'd-staffer-turned-Hiro, "Winning Beauty"-turned-Bret Michaels-wannabe-lover (come on, Megan; you're better than that!). Don't even get me started on Toccara, a loser from ANTM who's now on Celebrity Fit Club. Wait, wait - hold on a second! Don't you have to be a celebrity to be on that show? Oh. Being a loudmouth is enough? OK.

My point is I don't want to see your mugs anymore. Gracias, but no gracias.

Mimi

&!@$ Ashton Kutcher!

For those who don't know, Ashton Kutcher (the irritating, but rather dishy idiot from 'Punk'd'), has concocted a show where celebrity friends of his set up fake news stories to fool paparazzi and media agencies. The idea being to show how frivolous and stalker-ish the industry is... problem is that he is not fooling anybody.

Also, Ashton hit on another major snag that has got me thinking. The stories he produces and leaks to the press are actually not that interesting. In addition, the people he gets to act in these stories aren't that interesting or 'media worthy' either. One story, for example included Eva Longoria and Mario Lopez. Mario Lopez! WTF who the hell cares if this guy bursts into flames on Robertson Blvd? Not me. Apparently no one else does either.

The show, to me, does not appear to be that big of a hit. The stories featured actually didn't get all that much press coverage...

"There's nothing these people do that we don't know about before they get there. We know everything. Ninety percent of their lives are put together by other people. It's almost like these celebs have LoJack. It's easy to track them. "

Star mag ran a picture of Paris and her "guru," but reported that it was a stunt. "We never took it seriously," Star editor in chief Candace Trunzo tells us. "After a while, you learn what smells." Kutcher's crusade for truth won't affect Star's coverage of Kutcher and his wife, Demi Moore, Trunzo says. "He's only semi-interesting," she says. "He doesn't sell a lot of mags."

"It's a typical conceited celebrity," says a mag insider. "Live a life, man. Grow up. Go act. If a celeb has a full week, then they have way too much time on their hands."

Story courtesy of NY Daily News

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Above: Prefers the company of vaginas

Comic, actor, and writer Owen Benjamin is living in a world gone queer. That's the premise of Benjamin's new show on Crackle, Gaytown, where one average straight guy fights for acceptance in a small town full of intolerant and backwards gays. It's like that weird Travolta movie White Man's Burden where black people are bigoted and white people discriminated against. Except it's fablarious (hilarious + fabulous)! Benjamin recently answered a few of our questions about Gaytown, the place, and Gaytown, the show.

Crackle: How did you get the idea for Gaytown—had you spent a lot of time in the Castro or West Hollywood recently?

Owen Benjamin: Living in Hollywood for sure was huge. Seeing rainbows on the police cars out here definitely was inspiring.

Crackle: You had a small part in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, which was about two dudes who pretend to be gay for financial reasons. Did this movie have any bearing on your creation of Gaytown?

OB: No, that was just insanely fun. I've been thinking about doing Gaytown for years.

Crackle: How have your gay friends reacted to the show—are you afraid at all of offending them?

OB: No, gay people seem to like it the best. I didn't use the gay stereotype very much and I think a lot of them will see it as an eye opener to the straight community for what a lot of them go through. Of course some will be offended, but there are always people [who are] offended [by] everything comedic.
I'm sure "why did the chicken cross the road" wasn't very popular in the chicken community.

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Above: Gaytown, Episode One

Crackle: What is the closest you've ever come to a real-life Gaytown?

OB: West Hollywood and Chelsea [in NYC]. But neither of those places are anything like Gaytown. A main joke of Gaytown is that it's very conservative. The gay communities I know are very artistic and liberal and open. In Gaytown its as if you're in the center of Alabama but everyone is gay.

Crackle: You're a Punk'd alumnus; how would a Gay Punk'd go?

OB: Probably not very well, haha. [ed: We'd had in mind something along the lines of staged repossession of all of Perez Hilton's hair product. But whatever.]

Crackle: Legally speaking, what's it like to be straight in Gaytown? Can you get married? Are there laws against vaginal sex?

OB: There's an anti-straight ordinance that forces all men to wear fannypacks.

Crackle: IMDB says that you're in the upcoming movie The House Bunny, the story of a down-on-her-luck Playboy Bunny who teaches life lessons to a group of clueless sorority girls. Did any of this wisdom make it to you?

OB: I played Hugh Hefner's shirtless butler. I don't think my character was capable of too much wisdom, haha.

Crackle: On a scale of 1 to 10 and with as much commentary as possible, rate how much displeasure the following activities would cause if performed in a public place in Gaytown, where 1 is no displeasure and 10 is maximum
displeasure:

- Holding a 'Bette Midler Sucks' sign
7 - Don't fuck with Bette.

- Wearing clothes that don't fit right
1 - It's actually encouraged.

- Buying tickets to '10,000 B.C.'
[The movie] doesn't exist in Gaytown. It's RENT everyday all day.

- Selling NASCAR memorabilia
2 - NASCAR is actually HUGE in the gay community.

- Eating McDonald's
9 - Unless you plan on getting a no carb lettuce wrap.

Tune into C-SPOT on Crackle for a brand-new episode of Gaytown tomorrow, March 26th.

Zoom sur Pop Fiction, le nouveau show d’Ashton Kutcher, l’amoureux de Demi Moore qui nous avait déjà fait bien rire avec « Punk’d ».

Vous vous rappelez de Punk’d? L’émission mi télé-réalité mi caméra cachée d’Ashton Kutcher diffusée sur MTV. Il a fait crier et pleurer Justin Timberlake, Rihanna ou Zac Efron en montant des guet-apens pas possibles avec l’aide de leurs proches. Le but? Leur faire péter un câble, tout simplement. Et Ashton arrivait à la fin de chaque émission pour asséner un «You just got punk’d» ou «Tu t’es fait punké».

Nouveau concept avec Pop Fiction, diffusé sur la chaîne américaine E! Cette fois ce sont les paparazzi qui sont piégés par les people eux-mêmes! La semaine dernière on vous parlait de la sortie de Paris Hilton avec un vrai-faux moine bouddhiste. On pensait à une mauvaise opération de pub pour l’héritière Hilton, mais c’était en fait un segment du premier épisode de Pop Fiction, où comment tourner les paparazzi et les journaux people en dérision.

Tout comme les célébrités ont passé leur temps à se demander s’ils ne se faisaient pas «punkés» dès qu’il leur arrivait une bricole, les éditeurs de tabloïds vont désormais passer des heures à s’interroger: Avril Lavigne enceinte, info ou intox ? (intox) Paris Hilton et Benji Madden amoureux, info ou intox ? (info, de ce qu’on sait).

En attendant, le plus punk’d du moment ça reste Ashton et sa boîte de production Katalyst. Le concept de Pop Fiction ressemble étrangement à «Celebrities strike back», «les Célébrités contre-attaquent», une émission inventée et proposée à E! par feu Anna Nicole Smith il y a trois ans…

Pulling a prank is easy. There are only a few simple steps. First, think of a friend, enemy, frenemy, or group you want to make feel bad. Second, think of something to do that would absolutely eliminate that person or group's dignity and/or crush their soul. Third, enact a plan including either bombs, children, or other celebrities (sometimes all three) to temporarily crush their soul and/or erase their dignity. Next, watch said person or group lose their dignity while reacting to this potentially horrific occurrence by bursting into tears or reacting in a manic nature. Finally, announce to your friend, enemy, frenemy or group that they've been "punk'd" or that the event that has crushed their soul indeed never occurred or that at least part of what you said wasn't true, thus sending a great sense of relief to said prankee, though never fully restoring their dignity. There, you've pranked someone. Wasn't it fun and or trendy?

Carson Palmer: Leader of Trojans, Destroyer of Spartans

While Pranking is currently trendly, some times it can go horribly awry. One of the first pranks was held way back in the time of the Trojan War (otherwise known as the 2002 GMAC Humanitarian Bowl) when the USC Trojans led by then Quarterback Carson Palmer entered the Spartan arena by occupying a wooden horse that was then left outside the Michigan State University stadium, which their opponents then mistook as a gift and brought it onto the field of battle. However, once inside the East Lansing stadium, Palmer and company ritualistically slaughtered their opponents with a precision passing attack, clock eating run game, and harrowing defense by a score of 48-3, thus winning the Trojan War...and leaving plenty of blood, pain, and humiliation in their wake.

Those Poor, Unfortunate Michiganders

Ashton Kutcher: Trendliest Hero

Indeed, while most pranks end in horrible tragedy due to the fact that they never reach that aforementioned "final step", as evidenced by the efforts of extremist religious groups like Al Qaeda and shows like "Candid Camera", one man has mastered the art of stripping people of their dignity and then giving it back to them in small pieces so that over time they may one day hope to be a shell of their former selves. That man is Ashton Kutcher. His hit show "Punk'd" shows famous people crying because their fancy cars have been smashed even though they haven't and it makes us all laugh, which is the original point of pulling the prank in the first place...and what's more trendly than coming full circle. ]]>