A number of top-notch scholars have already moved in this direction. For example, the authors of Divided by Faith contend that racial segregation is maintained less by intentional racism than by sins of omission.  People are so absorbed with attaining the good social and spiritual life for their own selves, families, churches, and communities that their "brothers and sisters" on the other side of racial and class boundaries are left to be their own keepers. Religion, which could bring people together across race and class divisions, may in practice reinforce segregation.

Rev. Rob Johnson pastors a church that sits on a dividing boundary of race and class in Youngstown. He sees segregation and its effects daily, including during Sunday morning worship. Below, he invites us to consider visions of heaven, for many a real place and for others a metaphorical one. Anthropologists tell us that views from outside and afar, including visions of heaven, reveal what we cannot see from the perspectives of our own class, race, gender, and so on.  What can our imaginings of heaven reveal about our social places and experiences here on earth? Are our visions of heaven as segregated as our lives?

Rev. Rob Johnson:

While the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s statement that "Sunday morning is the most segregated hour of the week" is still prophetic and true, what is happening now is not what most concerns me.  It's what is going to happen in the future.  In the Christian Bible, Matthew 25:32 tells us that all nations will stand before Jesus's throne.  Revelation 7:9 is even more precise: "a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb." For Christians, our destiny is bound up in eternal Sunday morning with every tribe, every language, every people, every race.

In his song "Thugz Mansion," rap artist Tupac Shakur asked, "Where do niggaz go when we die?"

"Nobody cares, seen the politicians ban us
They'd rather see us locked in chains, please explain
why they can't stand us, is there a way for me to change?
Or am I just a victim of things I did to maintain?.
...Just think of all the people that you knew in the past
that passed on, they in heaven, found peace at last
Picture a place that they exist, together
There has to be a place better than this, heaven
So right before I sleep, dear God, what I'm askin'
Remember this face, save me a place, in thug's mansion

Ain't no place I'd rather be
Chillin' with homies and family ...
... Chromed out mansion in paradise
In the sky"

For Tupac, being segregated by race and economics in this life has direct implications for eternal life.  Heaven is a good place, a peaceful place, where family and friends live together forever.  As a place of forgiveness and grace, heaven is a place where even thugs can "kick it." However, Tupac's "thug's mansion" is segregated.

Many White Christians may bristle at the idea of heaven being segregated.  A recent CNN.com story regarding interracial churches quoted Theodore Brelsford:"[White church members would] say, ‘Can't we just get along without talking about race all the time?  Can't we just be Christians?'"  And yet, the same article observes:  "integrated churches are rare because attending one is like tiptoeing through a racial minefield.  Just like in society, racial tensions in the church can erupt over everything from sharing power to interracial dating."  In the past, the American Protestant community has been a sad exemplar of a segregated heaven. Most notably, Episcopalians, Methodists, Presbyterians, and Baptists have either splintered or divided over race issues at some point in their histories.  If this is the example that Christianity offers, what was Tupac supposed to think about heaven?

Research by Curtiss Paul DeYoung, professor of Reconciliation Studies at Bethel University, shows that "only about 5 percent of the nation's churches are racially integrated, and half of them are in the process of becoming all-black or all-white." If this is our example, then what are Christians teaching our children?

Paul Gordiejew, with guest Rev. Rob Johnson

History lesson aside,  a CNN article announced that Chicago has released a statement indicating that they are looking into creating a school for social victims, more specifically motivated by the recent incline in bad performance by the teenage homosexual demographic. Apparently because these teens are skipping school more and not applying themselves due to social pressure, public officials in Chicago are recommending solutions to the problem so that it doesn't get worse. Their answer is The School for Social Justice Pride Campus. A public school set aside specifically for those who have been victimized and want a second option. While many are saying this is just a public school for Homosexuals, the officials stated that it would be open to anyone. This is probably due to the fact that the government cannot ask the students about their sexual orientation.

I'll be totally honest. This sounds a lot like the seeds of segregation to me. There are differences. One being that the public school's target is not exactly at Homosexuals. They are allowing anyone to join it. However, everyone knows that it is being motivated by the recent increase in bad performance by the homosexual teen population. They even mentioned in the article that the idea was motivated by the crisis. So, regardless, it will be considered a Homosexual school. Second, it isn't forced segregation. Which, lets be honest, is a big difference. However, how long until this becomes forced segregation? In our cultural climate, I doubt that would ever happen. But I wouldn't be surprised if the issue became serious enough that the government thought about it. They are already thinking about optional segregation. The question we really need to ask ourselves is segregation coming back and in a new "secretized" form? Or is this just the governments way of safeguard the persecuted? It definitely raises the question of what to do as a society when these issues of mass vicitimization arise. Should we push heavy tolerance education through our schools, media, etc? Or should we just use other methods such as segregation.

The bottom line is that the Chicago officials are presenting a certain form of segergation. Maybe we can call it "secret" segregation where we aren't officially picking a group of people to segregate, but in reality (under the table if you will) we are. I openly recognize that this issue is a serious one that society should figure out, but that is the real problem. Trying to come up with a solution. Segregation is a solution, but it could lead to other problems. Personally I am for educating society through schools and media by promoting tolerance to all groups. I think if we can try to educate society about tolerance we are really emphasizing what America is really about.

The School for Social Justice Pride Campus, which officials say will not be exclusive to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students, is aimed at being safe and welcoming for any student looking for another school option, said Josh Edelman, executive officer in the Chicago Public Schools' Office of New Schools.

"It is not going to be a 'gay high school,' but yes, in a way, it is meant to target kids who feel they have been victims of bullying for their sexual orientation or perceived orientation," Edelman said.

According to a recent study, gay and lesbian students are three times more likely to skip school because of safety issues, 86% report verbal abuse, 44% report physical harassment, and 22% have been physically assaulted.

My gut feeling is that separating gays kids from straight kids will only increase homophobia, as it will lead to an "us vs. them" mentality. In my own experience, the best way to get others to deal with their homophobia is by allowing them to see that there is really nothing to be scared of or threatened by. If these young adults aren't allowed to see real life examples of what it means to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender, how will they ever come to understand that differences should be celebrated, not attacked or made invisible. And, really, shouldn't all modern schools be "gay-friendly?"

While I was never physically attacked in school, I was certainly verbally attacked on several occasions. When those incidents happened, I immediately told my parents, who in turn marched down to the principal's office and demanded action. Although the Christian school obviously didn't condone alternative lifestyles, they were also very strict about teasing and verbal abuse among their students.

I wonder if this approach might not be a better solution than separating children based on their sexual or gender preferences. Perhaps if public schools took a more direct approach in addressing the harassment and teaching equality in the classrooms, the verbal and physical abuse would decline. Perhaps students on both sides of the issue would learn that in the real world, we can't shelter them from homophobia or homosexuals, so they are going to have to grow up and deal with it.

Or we can just stick gay kids back in the "closet" by building separate learning institutions.

Source

This is a question that I have been asked in more than one way by the majority population.  For undergrad, I attended a majority white university.  Big surprise.  For grad school, the same thing.  For those of you in the workforce, I'm sure you too have to deal with the same thing: being one of very few black people, or minorities in general, in any given situation, be it sitting in the classroom, or heading to the break room to warm up lunch.

Thoughts about this come up without outside prompting.  I know I have stopped myself a few times as I feel myself congregating with or gravitating to people simply because they are black.  Sometimes I find myself wanting to fight this urge, mostly in an effort to expand my social circle and learn to be comfortable with others.  Forgive me, as I grew up in an all black and Latino town, and went to an all black and Latino high school.  Anyway, I am always intrigued when asked by a classmate or colleague of mine, what it is that makes black folks "stick together" so to speak.

Sometimes this question it carries with it a connotation of "Damn, black people stay segregating themselves."  This has got to be my favorite.  When I walk into my classroom of 100 students, and about 10 of the students are black, and scattered randomly throughout the room, I don't ask myself "Damn why are all the white people sitting together?"  When you make up the majority, it is likely that you'll end up sitting next to someone that looks like you.

So why is there beef when I want to save 6 seats for my friends?  Its probably because we stick out like sore thumbs:  All the chocolate and caramel folks lined up in a row.  People assume that we do this because we are trying to keep them out, but why can't we just be trying to get in where we fit in?  What's wrong with me trying to be comfortable?

I think the issue comes up because people in any given majority don't have to think about being a part of that majority.  When people all around you are ::insert any group distinction here:: just like you, you don't have to think about fitting in, because you just do.

People are too sensitive sometimes.  My wanting to sit with my black friends has less to do with me not wanting to sitting next you, and more to do with me wanting to sit with my friends.  I mean, can I live?

Proponents believe that dividing boys and girls into separate classrooms allows educators to adapt teaching styles to gender specific needs. Those against it, believe that the children should not be segregated in the classrooms. Read the story here.

The discussion is occurring in Columbia. Field Elementary separates its fourth and fifth grade classrooms between boys and girls.

Other related articles

• School to try same-sex recess - Aug. 23, 2006
• ACLU worried about Field - Sep. 13, 2006
• Single-sex classrooms explored-Oct. 26, 2006
• Same-sex classroom unnecessary-Opinion-Dec. 22, 2006

-Danielle Boenisch

Pollsters Debate 'Bradley Effect' - Election Seen as Test of Theory That Black Candidates' Leads in Polls Aren't Real

Now, poll-watchers are asking whether that could be skewing the numbers as Democrat Barack Obama, the first African American presidential nominee, moves ahead of Republican John McCain. Most experts say they do not believe that the phenomenon, known as the "Bradley effect," is at work in this election.

The phenomenon got its name a generation ago, after former Los Angeles mayor Tom Bradley (D), an African American, lost the 1982 gubernatorial race in California despite leading his white opponent in the polls on the eve of the election. Some experts suspected at the time that a portion of white voters, reluctant to appear biased, had essentially lied to pollsters about which candidate they were supporting.

Race is the issue that the majority of Americans should have come to terms with long ago. By ‘long ago’ I refer to the past 30 years. With the education system, advertising, and media homogenization of race, race should be less a factor in decision-making. The white subconscious still harbors visions from their parent’s bias, media portrayals, and general skewed perception.

Issue of Race Creeps Into Campaign

Racism rocks Presidential campaign

John McCain and George Wallace

Civil Rights Icon Links McCain to 60's Segregationist

Improved polling also may have helped produce more accurate predictions in contests such as Harold E. Ford Jr.'s losing race in 2006 for a Tennessee Senate seat and Deval L. Patrick's successful run for Massachusetts governor that year.

Dawson, however, remains skeptical about the willingness of whites to vote for a black candidate -- and the ability of polling to capture that reluctance -- in a high-profile, racially charged presidential election.

"We're talking about different levels," he said. "President is different than mayor of Chicago."

Experts agree that it is often difficult to fully tease out the extent to which race plays a factor in voting decisions. People can be reluctant to talk about their racial attitudes, and plenty of reasons -- party, age, experience, political philosophy -- can explain why voters may support or oppose a black candidate.

Still, there is little reason today, some experts contend, for people answering public opinion polls to hide their true intentions.

"For people to lie, there generally has to be a stigma attached to telling the truth," said Andrew Kohut, president of the Pew Research Center. "There is none affiliated with saying, 'I'm voting for Hillary' or 'I'm voting for McCain.' "

There were, before this weekend, few race-related clashes during the general election campaign. One took place in Missouri on July 31, when Obama issued something of a preemptive strike: "What they're going to try to do is make you scared of me. You know: 'He's not patriotic enough. He's got a funny name.' You know, 'He doesn't look like all those other presidents on the dollar bills.' "

McCain campaign manager Rick Davis quickly charged that Obama "played the race card, and he played it from the bottom of the deck" -- a line the campaign has used when it felt that Obama, far from being a victim, was seeking to turn the race issue to his advantage.

During the second presidential debate, McCain offhandedly referred to Obama as "that one," a term that black commentators and others seized on as racially derogatory. Again, the McCain campaign suggested that its hands were tied: It cannot say anything negative without being accused of racism. Nicolle Wallace, a senior strategist for McCain, was later quoted as saying that complaints about the remark showed that the Obama campaign was "again proving to be the fussiest campaign in American history."

What the pollsters are not featuring is:

Do Blacks and Hispanics Get Along?

The country's two largest and most powerful minority groups also disagree on other issues that strike close to the heart of many blacks and Hispanics, though these differences are generally modest. Notably, blacks are more likely to say the situation for African Americans is worse today than it was five or even 10 years ago. Nearly half of all blacks also say immigrants reduce job opportunities for blacks, while fewer than four-in-10 Hispanics agree

Hispanics More Likely to Say Groups Do Not Get Along

The survey found that overwhelming majorities of both blacks and Hispanics have favorable views of each other. Fully three-quarters of all blacks (77%) have a very or somewhat favorable view of Latinos, while 79% of Hispanics have a similarly positive view of blacks. (Three-quarters of all whites also have an approving view of Hispanics and a slightly larger percentage expressed a favorable opinion of blacks.)

U.S. Hispanic Population Surpasses 45 Million Now 15 Percent of Total

Race and Ethnicity

Facts on Institutional Racism in US health care system

Valuable insight fround in this PEW Research interview with Todd Gitlin, Professor of Journalism and Sociology, Columbia University : Six years after Barack Obama Sr. and Stanley Ann Dunham married in Hawaii, U.S. News railed against the Supreme Court interracial marriage decision in Loving v. Virginia, 1967.² I owe that discovery to historian Rick Perlstein. The South Carolina state constitution of 1895 prohibited, and I quote, "marriage of a white person with a negro or mulatto or a person who shall have one-eighth or more of negro blood." That provision was not repealed until 1998.

In the early 1960s, after a period of removal from the public domain, evangelicals began to move into politics in order to beat back what they saw as the expulsion of God from the public domain -- [including] the school prayer decision and others of the Warren court. Later in the decade, there was "white flight" from schools that had been ordered to integrate. This gave an institutional base, white-only schools, to what was on its way to becoming Jerry Falwell's Moral Majority.

.... What kind of a country is this? What is our moral core? Who deserves standing? And attached to that, which elites deserve power and how do you get into one? The populism of today's right is very far from the populism of the 1890s: the regulate-the-railroad, cheap-money, free-silver, small-farmer's populism -- that in some of its moments, tried to cross the color line that was hardening in the South. Today's culture war pits what Saul Alinsky called the have-a-little-want-more people against those who have less. And the party of resentment, obviously, has capitalized on that and is devoted to it and I think requires it. This faux populism -- the populism of Lou Dobbs and Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity and company -- is a populism whose hallmark is exclusion. It entails, among other things, reduction of the franchise. What is this if not a culture war between two stories of America: of who is properly an American and what the country stands for. Is it an embodiment of democratic possibility or a rollback? 

If racism has not really changed, but just found a better place to hide, will it decide if we are the United States of America or Divided States of America?  BossKitty has felt for a very long time that racism is the ugly by-product of low self esteem.  The cultural evolution of America has shifted dysfunctional symptoms. White guilt has not helped reduce racism, it just shifted.  It should no longer be accepted that your personal lot in life is a direct result of your ethnicity.  Poorly educated whites have resented the favor of compensation granted to blacks, in response to an 'apartide' American history.  Like Germany after WWI, where resentment was exploited and maneuvered to blame economic woes on Jews.  Hitler needed a scapegoat.  Poorly educated whites blame their economic woes or unemployment on blacks and hispanics. They demonstrate fear and anger by making blacks or hispanics accountable for their own failures.  They need a scapegoat.  The most common fear is crime, unemployment and low self-esteem.  The most common cause, educational bias in this country. Why Don't Schools Address Racism?

American past & present, The Ascent Of Racism

PBS documentary offers insight, RACE, SCIENCE AND SOCIAL POLICY

The Nizkor Project, Academic Racism & 'Race Science'

The RaceSci Website is a resource for scholars and students interested in the history of "race" in science, medicine, and technology. RaceSci is dedicated to encouraging critical, anti-racist and interdisciplinary approaches to our understanding of the production and uses of "race" as a concept within the history of science. Instead of assuming race as a natural category that science then uncovers, this site assembles scholarly works that look at how cultural processes of racialization have profoundly shaped knowledge about humanness, health, and even our understanding of "nature" itself. The aim of RaceSci is to serve as a catalyst and support for the increased critical study of "race" and science amongst students and researchers by bringing together in a common forum the interdisciplinary English-language literature on the topic, with a particular strength in U.S. history. In addition, RaceSci tracks the continuing history of "race" in contemporary science and its reporting in the media.

Religious education has too often added the need to identify evil, in human form. Race is the easiest tool for religions to use.  The paltry two centuries America has had to define itself, has failed on the one cause it used to create itself. "Liberty and Justice for all".  .

"He made from one, every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth" (Acts 17:26).

Is this for real? Talk about vicious and divisive campaigns. Are we seeing the same kind of 1960s segregation? No wonder McCain opposed MLK Jr Day.

Which country is McCain putting first? A segregated US?

In addition to these horrific and dangerous shout-outs, which some fear could be a call-to-action, the questions coming from these town hall formats had nothing to do with the economy, nothing to do with the issues, but rather were expressions of fear of a Barack Obama president, fear that we would have an "Arab," "a Muslim" or even worse "a domestic terrorist" in the white house. This fear, courtesy of John McCain himself , is currently being promoted in his attack ads against Barack Obama. These attack ads were developed to introduce a connection between Barack Obama and 60's radical Bill Ayers and the clearly untrue notion this relationship implies that Obama might be a domestic terrorist himself. Everyone, including McCain himself knows that this is patently false, and McCain has stated so.

I do not believe that McCain himself thinks for one minute that Barack Obama has a terrorist bone in his body, but McCain was clearly generating a fear of Barack Obama, even if it means misleading the American people.

Careful what you wish for, Sen. McCain, because you just got it.

John McCain has now had to awkwardly back peddle, to the boos in his crowd, he has had to say that Barack Obama is "a Christian and a decent family man."  This environment of anger, hate and fear from the McCain rallies had not been challenged, until the national response, through media, polls and other statements have expressed concern over the danger of allowing such rhetoric to continue, forcing McCain to ask his supporters for calm.

And just now, as I am writing this post, it was announced that Rep. John Lewis said "What I am seeing reminds me too much of another destructive period in American history in the not so distant past" when George Wallace "created the climate and conditions" which provoked hate.

Barack Obama responded that he does not believe that John McCain is promoting the policies of George Wallace and that to his credit John McCain himself has spoken out at his own rallies to calm the hateful rhetoric of his supporters. Obama did continue to say, however, that Sarah Palin's should revoke her remarks that Barack Obama "pals around with terrorists," a notion that John McCain has had to rebuke himself.

Several republican spokesmen were on the air just a moments ago continuing to state that Barack Obama was palling around with terrorists, even after McCain himself has stated that this is not true.

This latest, very latest back and forth between camps has, at the very least, shown an undisciplined republican party, where some spokesmen are saying the Obama did pal around with terrorists, while John McCain himself is saying that this is not so.

As tough as times r... We truly r blessed

Nancy is volunteering again with Big Brothers Big Sisters in Dallas. Four hours a month, she meets up with her "little brother". Today she found herself in one of the "rougher" parts of Dallas, the only white girl driving around in her clunky car, waiting to hear back from the BBBS supervisor. We talked briefly earlier this evening. She was somewhere between annoyed and pissed-off. She had to reschedule their meeting four times and was now just waiting in a pharmacy parking lot. It was getting dark and she was getting upset.

I've visited Dallas a handful of times. Both my sisters live there now. Something I'd never imagined would happen. There are some wonderful things about this city, but I'd never live there. One of the things I find a little uncomfortable about being in Dallas is that segregation is really quite alive and well. Black people live in this neighborhood, white people in this one, and Latinos in this other one.

Not to say that San Francisco isn't segregated. Downtown it feels a lot more mixed-up...and the City is smaller...so it's less noticeable, at least centrally. Of course, there's the other story: that living expenses in San Francisco are so expensive that Latino and Black people simply live in Oakland.

I could spend days analyzing these conditions, but what I'm really getting at here is that I'm proud of my sister.

She got herself out of her comfort zone, the place she "belongs" and into another family. And doing so made her grateful.

I'm starting to think, with all my phantom illnesses lately, that I might just be able to learn from this...

I have a few "older" students in an introductory class. By "older" I mean people who could be my parents, or older. I love them. Besides having excellent writing skills, they bring so much to the class discussions. These are folks who have sacrificed much in their lives, and are now returning to school in the ultimate delayed gratification scenario. Once, I had such a student share that she didn't care if she never went to work in her field because she just wanted the satisfaction of having the degree.

Anyway, one of my current students, an African American lady, shared that the last time she was in school her high school was segregated, and she found this new experience of sitting in a college classroom different and exciting. Wow! She lamented her impression of the youth around her wasting the opportunity to get an education, so she decided to pave the way. I hope she is successful, not in the classroom -- it's obvious to me that she will, but in the environment where she is trying to foster a desire for an education. She's certainly a fantastic example to the students in her class.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that. I figure, there's too much bad news on TV -- I better report on something cool. That, and I have to figure out how to get her to share her story openly in the class.

That is all. Have a nice day. :)

Sedan är det ju sällan så att man bara ser för eller nackdelar, men om man skall se till just segregationsfrågan tror jag alla tjänar på att ha blandat boende eftersom det kan minska fördommar åt alla håll. Är man kompis med folk i höghus har man trevliga erfarenheter att relatera till och har likaså om man känner någon som bor i villa.

   "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere" (King 968). Unjust laws are undeniably wrong because they are unfair to everbody. The are unfair because they give the illusion that not every human is created equal. As a people, we must hold the statement, "We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal," as stated by former President of the United States of America, Thomas Jefferson, to be true. However, as a people, we must also respect it and keep it in our minds daily. We must allow it to influence our way of living our daily lives, because "it is a vital [component] in our fight [against discrimination and for peace] and brotherhood" (King 970).

   Throughout "Letter from Birmingham Jail," the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. fights against the unfairness of segregation laws as they convince people that they're more important than those being segregated. King attempts to reinforce President Jefferson's statement that all people are created equal. He calls for "progressive change on the subject of segregation versus [equality] and brotherhood in the community" (King 969).

   Wherever there is injustice, there are unjust laws. Unjust laws must be overridden. To make this happen, everybody must join in the fight to break the cycle of injustice. This is because injustice in one location always influences the treatment of people somewhere else. Only when the cycle of injustice is suspended will there be a permanent status of community equality. In order for a stable status of community equality to be established, as well as to make firm the truth that all people are truly equal, segregation must come to an end. Therefore, it is imperative that at the first moment, the entirety of each community band together to get rid of injustices such as segregation. This must happen completely non-violently, however, because non-violent approaches are the only way to win our fight. Lastly, as long as there is a firm status of equality, we will not need to enforce consequences for injustices as injustices will be non-existent.

BEST GROUP BLOG: MuslimMatters.org!

We received a 'special mention' or something last year, but this year we must win, insha'Allah. New look, new writers, new competitions - a whole new MM!

Ijtema.net is not really a group 'blog', plus we have our own plans for blogosphere domination, insha'Allah. So I'd rather peeps nominate MM (if you even care about my opinion, that is!).

---

They have a BEST FEMALE BLOG category, which I think my dearest sister, Organica (previously known as Organic Muslimah) should totally win. Vote Organica!

But the description for that category irks me somewhat:

"The woman's voice in Islam is equal to the man's, and in the Islamsphere we seek to make sure the female perspective is highlighted and given its rightful due. Which Muslim woman's blog has done the most to explore the role that women play within Islam and society?"

If the woman's voice is equal to the man's, why isn't there a BEST MALE BLOG?

I think it's time we began to phase out such examples of "positive" gender discrimination; at least in the blogosphere where it is not necessary. I have not been made aware of any intentional efforts to suppress the female blogging community, that would require us to then "push back". In fact, suppression of the free media comes across as pretty gender neutral: both authoritarian, and so-called "democratic" governments don't wish for their failings to be publicised; whether it be by men or women. How enlightened of them!

In fact, many women rely on blogging as an avenue to openly share the opinions that are being ignored by those in charge of their own communities. BC going out of their way to specifically highlight the female voice in this manner, whilst not balancing it out with the male voice, comes across as apologetic: "Look: Islam does not oppress woman!". We don't need to go there, IMO.

Each gender has a special and unique insight to offer society; thus providing a separate category for "best male", "best female", and "best writer", full stop, would be the most natural way to recognise the diverse talents of the blogging Ummah, without having to go so far as to make 'political' statements, that seemingly aim to placate the ignorant masses, who don't accept us anyway.

Okay, so maybe I've just made a mountain out of a molehill... but as a female, Muslim blogger, I don't actually appreciate being singled out like I'm part of some special breed, raised only to prove how progressive Islam can be. If anything, Muslims are the ones showing Islam up, not the other way around; pushing people away from the deen with our idiotic, yet very human, behaviour.

Oh you who believe! Stand back, step off, remove the frilly bows, and shiny wrapping paper - and let Islam prove itself.

(Oh, and if you're wondering: I do plan to forward this post onto BC; not much point complaining otherwise, eh?)

This video clip is from a forum that was put on by The New Yorker magazine. It's making the rounds on the Internet, and it should.

If the Youtube video isn't working, you can go this link:
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1827871374/bctid1842741065

Hat tip to the Huffington Post for this.

Här kan du hitta hela listan och i SvD kan du rösta på om du tycker att staten ska ta över skolan igen.

I grew all over the city of Chicago. I was born at Cook County Hospital in 1948. My mother came out of a family of five; she was raised up around 43^rd and Vincennes. My mother graduated from Forestville. I was raised, up until I was 7 years old, with my mother, in that area. After I was taken as a ward of the state in the 1950s I was raised all over Chicago. My favorite part is the South Side. I lived in 3 or 4 different places on the South Side. I consider myself a South Sider.

Where was your favorite place on the South Side?

That was in my first foster home, that was the Chatham community, around 71^st and Wabash. I had this particular case worker, his name was Mr. Kent – I guess he’s still haunting me right now because I still want to go in to social work, I guess that’s something he’s always left an impression on me because he seemed like a decent human being. He was the only case worker I ever had, and I was very fortunate because a lot of people can’t say that they had only one case worker during the time they were in foster homes. I was in foster homes from the time I was 7 until I was 17 years old, that’s when I ran away, that’s when I thought I was grown.

I lived on 71^st and Wabash, with people that were totally strangers, the Smith family, and their relatives. They took me in just like I was their own, and it was a nice neighborhood. That was one of the most memorable foster homes and the one I really missed out of all the other ones I was in. This was really when I realized what Christmas was. Really. I knew about Christmas and all this stuff but I didn’t get gifts, that was not in the picture. First foster home I got there October, Christmas rolls around and there’s this big Christmas tree –ah that brings back emotion. Under this Christmas tree there were a lot of boxes, a bicycle, and I learned that all that stuff up under that tree was mine. It was mine. From all their family, everyone gave me something, a toy, something that I could use. That was cool. 

I had my own bed, which I never had in my life. Pajamas. Had to wash up, I mean this was like from the ghetto, the slum, to where I moved on up. This was the first time I was treated and felt like a child. Before then I roamed the streets, I had to, I started from the time I was 3 or 4 years old. From the age I was able to walk and talk I roamed the streets. I stole, I stole food, I didn’t know nothing about milk, I didn’t know nothing about candy. I was illiterate, I’d never been to school. My mother’s priority was her mate. Her whole life centered on her mate. The child was just there, but her main focus was a man. That’s what I disliked about her for many years. She would do anything for her mate, bend over backwards. That bonding between child and parent never occurred. My mother had what they called the Baby Blues. She had the baby but she was not connected with me, at all. It’s just these past 10 years that I forgave my mother. I grew through my 20s, 30s where I hated my mother, and I told everybody she was dead.

I was moved around because people weren’t qualified to keep me. I didn’t know this; I found this out later. They had a thing about pulling you out of homes at the middle of the night, it could be night, daytime, 1 2 o’clock in the morning. It happened to me several times. I was in many 10, 11 foster homes. I was put out of one, another I ran away from.

When I was getting up there 11, 12 something like that, and I was living way out on 113^th and Laflin, what they call Morgan Park. And me being an inner city boy, that was the sticks. I still call it the sticks. It was a Christian family, retired people in their 60s. They were doing what you call the good deed, saving the children. They were sincere, but these people used to get on my nerves. I tried to get along with them, but anyway. It really put a damper on my childhood because due to religion.

When they first took me they said they had to save me, because my mother was heathen and I was a bastard child. I can’t tell you how many times I was called a bastard child. (Laugh) What used to get me was, they never met my mother, they’re going by hearsay. They kept sending me to church, I was at church seven days a week, even during school. First we started in Church of God in Christ, which was what you call Sanctified. It is a larger organization. Then we went to a Baptist church because they got upset with the members of the other church. And I had to work their backyard like it was a farm, and matter of fact in Momence they had a farm, and during the summertime I worked there.

They said I was a heathen, they couldn’t get the heathenness out of me so I ran away, and it was in the dead of winter and I realized that was stupid. Here it the dead of winter, I’m sittin’ there, in the corner of a building, ain’t nothing blockin’ off the winter, and the first thing that comes to my mind: “There’s that warm bed, with all these blankets. I went home, I stayed in that place about two more hours. They didn’t spare the rod, they whupped my ass. And the next day they called my case worker. There was no saving me, there main goal was to save me, save me soul. They thought I was cursed, evil, I was an evil child. There goal was to make me a Christian. And I guess I didn’t meet their… What I’m saying is I understood what they were trying to do. They said I was a child of the devil by me being a bastard child. Plus I was evil, and I was tainted, so they was trying to cleanse me, through the church. It worked for a while, I went to church and all like that, but the first chance I got the chance to do what I wanted to do I did it anyway.

I got introduced to gangs when I stayed at a foster home on 65^th and Sangamon, in Englewood. I had 3 foster brothers, they ranged in age from 15 to 19, all of them older than me, and they all belonged to the Egyptian Cobras. On the quiet side, the mother and father didn’t know nothing about it. I had a taste of hands on domestic violence in that foster  home. The mother was always being abused, but she would only take so much. Sometimes when she felt like she was being hit for something she didn’t deserve she would kick ass. (Laugh) The guy worked for the steel mill, hard drinker, hard man, he always seemed so miserable. I remember he just seemed unhappy. He would never smile, and he would always argue with his wife. And he’d take that extra drink and hit her, and while he would do that, his own three songs would jump on his and kick his ass. I found out later the neighbors complained. That’s what got me out of that house. Either out of spite or sympathy, somebody called on me. And to this day I look at it like thank you for calling. I believe that’s how I got out.

Of all the homes I was in, the one I stayed the longest in was my last one. That was on 6709 Kimbark, in Woodlawn. Went to Wadsworth, on South University. Middle class, strictly TWO when I moved in the neighborhood. Whites were gradually moving out, but this was middle class. The apartments were 3 or 4 bedrooms, what we called the poor folks lived in kitchenettes with 2 or 3 rooms. It was all mixed. I lived there with Mr. and Mrs. Womack. They reminded me of Ozzie and Harriet! (Laugh) Stay home mom, the father had his own independent moving company, two trucks. 

That was when I began feeling my muster, as they say. That was the heyday. I was about 15, and that was the day over there. I was three blocks away from Jeff Fort and his clan. You would never know how much power he had. The influence when he opened up his mouth. See, the Blackstone Rangers were already established at this point, they are recruiting on the South Side, and I’m living in the base. So I’m telling my parents that I’m getting threatened, with the gang stuff. Like, ‘either you join or…’ I’m not a gangbanger. I’m a lover, I’m a reader of books. So going back and forth to school, all the sudden I start going to meetings after school. I wasn’t old enough to get into Fort’s gang so I was put in a group called the Kings. Everybody under 16 was called the Kings. I was reluctant, I thought it was pointless, and I didn’t like violence in the first place.

The main meetings would be, you would never guess where. (Laugh) They were in a church. I forgot the name but it’s still standing there on 64^th and Kenwood. It had a youth center in the basement, and that’s where we met. First we had roll call, then the next thing on the agenda was who didn’t pay their dues. Twenty five cents, every week or whenever we met, it all depended. It wasn’t like a regular thing, the word would get around there was a meeting and you’d know where it was at and what time it was at.

If someone wanted to be initiated into the club, what they would do was put you in the center of the floor, pick the five toughest guys, and they called it a Beat Down, a Kick Ass. You got five guys, frustrated and taking their anger out on you, and they’d really be beatin’ your ass. And if you knew what to do you’d fold up and hit the ground. Cover the vital parts.

There was what you call the Main 21. That meeting was separate, not for what you’d called regular street members. They were the ones that actually ran and organized operations, The interesting thing about the Blackstone Rangers that I experienced was what they did, I was actually there, I witnessed, was what they did to 63^rd Street. Jeff Fort wanted to take over 63^rd Street, from Stony Island all the way down to past Cottage Grove. At that time there was no business on that strip that was owned by black people. That was his banner, but what he did was extort the businesses. He had a hit squad, and they would go into stores – these places that for years were owned by Jewish people: clothing stores, A&P, Hi&Lo – and he would exhort the Jewish businessmen to pay for protection, and they understood what he meant about pay for protection. To emphasis his point he might break the windows and say, “See, this is what we’re talking about.” After Jeff Fort got through with 63^rd street it never was the same. And that could have been to certain rich people’s advantage. 

The people in cahoots with him were white. His main man, his main behind the scenes guy, the guy with the money and influence, was an insurance mogul. Him and Jeff Fort were like that. [holds up one finger] A lot of people didn’t know that there were white people, from Hyde Park and the Gold Coast, behind Jeff Fort. For whatever purposes, for betterment or for the annihilation of certain people in the community.

We participated mainly in gang fights, in the middle of the night. Whatever, we use to go around to Hyde Park, beat people up, beat white people up, beat gangbangers up. We fought with knives, clubs, whatever, only a few people might have a gun. I carried a .22 because I was small, people had a tendency to pick on me. Kids play dangerous games with other kids, they seriously do. I don’t know if I ever actually killed anybody, but people that did me wrong, I shot them.

What really made me sick was the last time I had to participate in a fight, when I saw 70, 80 people beatin’ on 2 people. I don’t know if you understand that kind of sight. Everybody’s trying to get a lick in. And it just made me sick. That’s when I decided to run away from home, because I kept trying to tell my foster parents that I ain’t into gangs. But they’d say, “No, that’s just kids stuff,” I suppose that’s what some parents still say today. Gangs is not kids stuff.

OK, I’m thinking this; it’s my third year in high school, gangbanging ain’t going no where, pretty soon they’ll have me out there selling dope or elsewhere I’ll be involved shooting somebody. It seemed like no end. Either dead or jail, so my smart ass joined the Army. I had a guardian sign for me.

Viet Nam’s escalating, where you afraid of having to go over there?

No, I was very silly and immature at the time. Thing about it was, my rationalization was that I’m getting shot at here and ain’t being paid, so why don’t I go in the military, put this street knowledge to use in the military and get paid for it at the same time? And then maybe learn something and get a fresh start in my life.

When I went into the service I was up under the illusion that all military personnel, everyone in service of their country, that we were all equal. I really did believe that, I didn’t think the color of skin was an issue. I didn’t get involved with all that until I went into the service. I learned a lot about me and human nature, and I didn’t really know what I felt about white people. Me being a Northerner, going into the service at 17 and a half, and being trained in a Southern, a SOUTHERN region. I mean rural. I took my boot camp at Fort Campbell in Kentucky and Tennessee. I was straight off the streets of Chicago. I saw this line, I never really experienced it when I was in Chicago we had what you call… at that time black neighborhoods had everything. What I mean by everything is that, it may have been owned by Jewish people, or white people and stuff like that, but we had everything in our community.

I went into the service and ran into all this racial tension, I mean the Southern version I never knew nothing about. Jim Crow. I only knew what I heard and read in the papers, I never knew nothing about segregation, never knew nothing about this line until I went into the service. I never knew that white was white and black was black until I was in the military. I was on leave, a couple times I was almost arrested for looking at a white woman. That was normal up here in Chicago; you could look, glance, and nobody’d really raise hell.  

I was in boot camp for about 16 weeks and I got into five fights, with white people and two blacks. When I took basic training, the majority of the military personnel were white. The ones in authority were white. Now the drill instructors, some were black. And there was one guy who was my squad commander, I couldn’t stand him. His name was Parker, raised and born on the West Side. He had no problem calling me a “fucking dirty ass nigger” every chance he got. Actually we had a fight. I actually invited him outside, I don’t know why I did it, he whupped my ass in two minutes. Man I was so wet behind the ears, it was ridiculous!

But this Northern attitude, raised in the city, in the different parts I was raised in, I was taught this thing that no white people got the right to call me nigger like that. I didn’t realize that some people were raised with the ideology that, well, you a nigger. (Laugh) So I got into a couple fights, got disciplined, and applied for what they call a hardship discharge because I volunteered and my whole thought of the military was really off track, it really was not what I expected to be. I did attempt to adapt and all like that but I had a block about people calling me out my name, calling me nigger and all that other stuff. I was put in the stockades several times, and then I turn around and did stockade duty. They refused to let me out, they did. I mean I did everything as a silly person I could, I did everything opposite of what I was told to do.

But one thing I did exceed in, I did learn the basics about fighting. I excelled in that. Military combat readiness, I excelled in that. And I excelled in weaponry. I don’t know why but I was an expert sharpshooter: 45, M14, and the M60. That was a bad weapon. After boot camp I went to AIT, that’s what your MOS is; you take a battery of tests to see what you are more fit at, to see what they can skill you in. I got light weapons infantry since I was good at weapons. I wouldn’t brag on it now. I tried to join the airborne, I tried. Went through training, broke both my legs, that killed that. My MOS, that’s your military occupation status, was light weapons infantry; I was assigned to 173^rd Airborne infantry. And that’s where I met a lot of guys who came from Vietnam, who told me the horror stories – because the closest I got to Vietnam was Hawaii – they told me some real horror stories about Viet Nam. 

Do you remember where you were and what you were doing when you heard the news about Martin Luther King?

I was (laugh) I was in town. I was in Augusta, Georgia. On an unauthorized leave, in town. I was hanging out with some of my prostitute friends, and we were making money turning tricks, I was helping introduce people and stuff like that, a lot of people don’t know that on military bases the best source of money is prostitution. So we were in town and when I heard about it we were all sitting up in a hotel room drinking, getting high, smoking red bud. Never will forget that, that’s some highly potent marijuana.

That’s some good shit.

Definitely. This was Georgia’s version of red bud. We were playing music, and someone came into the room and told us what happened so we turned on the news. I decided it was time for me to go back to base and face the music, so I returned to base and got confined to quarters until further notice. And then the alert came out and we was called to post. That meant go into combat mode. My company went to Washington DC.

They already set up barricades. It was somewhere around the area of the Pentagon. No, somewhere around the Lincoln Memorial. All I know it was in DC, in the Capital area. They already set up barricades and we were posted, and like there was us and there was them. There was a fence, you know them horse barricades. They don’t cross here, we don’t cross there. People would spit on us, blacks, whites, everything like that. It was a mixture of whites and black. There were more whites, but they all blended in together for one purpose. It didn’t matter about color; race was becoming blurry to me. I just said, “What am I doing on this side?” (Laugh)

What were your orders?

First thing they said was to keep calm, keep order, and keep the civilians concentrated in a certain area. No matter what, under no circumstances were we to use unnecessary force unless we felt our personal safety was in jeopardy. But any means to keep them over there, keep them in one group, do so. Thing about it is, our rifles were not loaded, we had fixed bayonets but the shield was on them. But if anyone crossed the line they were the enemy, treat them as such. A couple tried it and they got beat down, clubbed, kicked whatever. Some people took that authority and used it to their advantage, took out whatever aggression. A couple people came up to me and hit me and spit in my face, I pushed them back. Where I got into trouble was that I just walked away from my post. What happened was, we were on duty, four on / four off. When it was time for my four on I didn’t go back.

I was near a truck, smoking a cigarette, and when it was time for me to report back to my post I didn’t go. I took my bayonet off, matter of fact there were quite a few of us who didn’t actually move. Some went back and some didn’t. I was told, “You are under orders, now go back to your station.” I went through motions like I was going back, but I stopped, I said I’m not doing it, because like you asking me to fight the people I’m in the military to protect. My sergeant said I snapped, I don’t know if I snapped or not, I just told him I refused to go back. So they arrested me and when we got relieved and when we went back to Fort Benning I was put in the stockade for disobeying orders.

Why did you do this? Were there political reasons, social reasons? What going through your head?

Social, political, and personal. I was fed up with the Army. I was disillusioned about a lot of things, about the military, and about the United States government. What I mean by disillusioned is that I’m here keeping these people back at the same time there’s people over in Vietnam dying. They wasn’t telling you certain things in the news, but we in the inner circle knew what was going on, the body count and all like that. What they say on the news is one thing and what you know in the inside scoop is another thing. And when I say I was disillusioned by the military, I was under the impression that the military was one big happy family. I’m in the Army, I’m a solider. Why is this man still calling me boy? I couldn’t grasp that. Here we are on the base and you keep calling me boy. That was that Southern mentality. And when I saw some of these black people going along with this shuffling and kissing ass shit, that totally pissed me off.

The ball started rolling there. I became obsessed with anti-authority. When I seen someone just using authority I rebelled. Ended up on assault and all like that. After I got out of the stockade I went in to the city, talking crazy about Malcolm X and rights, and how these white people in the military were screwing over me, and next thing you know I got into it with a white soldier, and I was charged with assault and battery. It wasn’t on the base, it happened in town, in Augusta. I was still in the military, but by me doing it on civilian ground they threw me to the wolves, that’s term they would use instead of giving me a court marshal they let the civilians have me. So the civilians charged me with a felony. And I was places in a felony prison. In Georgia. They called it the Big House, that’s one of the ones they built back in the 19^th century; the old old school ones with a plantation mentality. I got sentenced to two years in prison. I didn’t serve all that time, but I learned a lot from being there. One thing the theory goes about rehab, it rehabbed me. Cause I never intended or have been in that kind of trouble again. I don’t have the intention of being locked up like that again, I wouldn’t advise that to anybody. 

now we demand a chance to do things for ourselves

we’re tired of beating our heads against the wall

and working for someone else

          - james brown

When I came back to Chicago in 1969 I looked at different organizations. By the consensus of the public I was militant. Totally militant. I would say it was ‘us against them.’ I went totally Black Panther. I never was a member of the Black Panther Party; but I was an advocate of the Black Panther Party. I was one of the guys that would go to meetings, volunteer to hand out pamphlets, pass out food and stuff like that. I was really into their beliefs, their causes and stuff like that. The Black Panthers was the thing fighting for the rights of black people.  

The group I was affiliated with, we had a branch on 43^rd and Indiana. Like a little branch office, a storefront. What we would do was, we would have a meeting every Thursday, discuss issues, political issues, community issues, and then go out and help people, and spread the word. Hit certain corners, stand there and pass out literature, and we’d go to schools and serve breakfast. Everyday. Mollison, that’s the school I went to. It would be at about 7. The kids would get up early so we’d have to get up early. We did it at King’s Community Center, on 46^th, before the kids went to school. We pushed for the breakfast program at that particular school, because that’s what the Black Panther Party was doing at the time, pushing for programs to feed, at least the kids in school. In fact, they were the main force behind why it exists now, they got a lot to do with that. It began in California, and it spread out with that food program.

Where you afraid of getting arrested again in Chicago, going to jail for working with the Panthers?

I was working on it! I was hoping to get locked up, to earn my stripes, in other words, earn my scratches. Yes I got locked up at marches and protests. Downtown and 35^th street. Got locked up, dragged out, beat up; sometimes they use to raid our meetings and just lock us up. I had bad experience with police officers. When they go out and you know, see me with this Black Panther thing on, a button, they really give me the 3^rd degree, (laugh) Call me all out by my name and throw me against the wall. And I just say, “Why you got to do all that?” (Laugh) A lot of weekends I ended up in jail. Association with the Panthers, yeah, but I don’t know if you know they had this law here in Chicago, during the ‘60s there was this unwritten law in the Chicago Police Department that if you looked suspicious – being Black you were suspicious, even in your own neighborhood – they would stop and frisk you. In your own community. Because by authority they could do this.

But by the time I got back to Chicago, to me the movement had reached it peak and was declining. Like yesterdays news. There were still some diehards, but it was just a handful of us. It was a handful against the nation, the system. What really put the nail in the coffin was when Fred Hampton died. I think the sole purpose was to discourage, it was already known among certain elite groups that it was a set up. You go to meeting, the person standing beside you was an informant, sometimes those was the ones that yelled the loudest, or the quietest. Whatever cover fit them best.

And there were a lot of militants not just doing this for community service and all like that, but you had a lot of people that just hated authority period. There were some people there that actually joined to do harm, to do violence, to kill people, especially white people. There’s always a dark side. And so things started falling apart. I was going my own way by then anyway because some people around me started talking crazy, they started using drugs, talking about dealing drugs – just certain people I was involved with – gun smuggling, and killing.

Black Power was interesting because it made it seem like all the power was in the hands of a certain dominant group, white people, whatever you wanna call it. Black people do have power as well, all human beings do, to a certain extent. But I got into that power when James Brown put out that record. What turned me about that was when James Brown came out with “Say It Loud – I’m Black and I‘m Proud.” That woke me up.

There was a side that meant BLACK power. But there was another faction that said power to all the people, that was the group I got into and kept up with.

(Laugh) What is Black Power? That’s my feelings: What is Black Power?

You got all these human rights, allegedly, here in the United States, you have the rights to either co-operate or not co-operate. You got the right to take opportunity or whatever. You have the knowledge of where you are and where you wanna go, and where you can go. And you have the knowledge to deal with the consequences. If you not aware of the consequences, shame on you. (Laugh) As my children would say, “That’s on you.” (Laugh)

Genre: Historical Fiction

Age Level: 14 and up

# of Pages: 229 p.

RAC Book: Yes

Sylvia Patterson lives in Little Rock, Arkansas in the year 1957. The big issue in her town is the new order to integrate their schools. Her older brother, Reggie, wants to be one of the lucky chosen few but due to his short temper he is not selected. Sylvia, on the other hand, is a smart level headed girl who has been chosen for the list of students to get interviewed for the integration. The students who are selected to integrate are not allowed to attend any school functions or belong to any school clubs, but many feel it is still important since they are making huge steps for future generations. As Sylvia gets closer to the imminent first day of school several acts of violence and prejudice begin to convince her that maybe she should just return to her own school.

The pressures put on these students before they ever entered the white school in Little Rock are discussed and explained in a way that any student can understand how these students must have felt going into this situation. Sylvia and her family deal with many acts of injustice and violence in this town and still want to believe and hope for a better life in the future. The actual incidents at Little Rock during the integration are not discussed as much as the events leading up to it, but the story really accents what those students had to go through and the courage they felt to even approach that white school. Students studying this time period will get a broader perspective of these students than they could ever get in a history book.

Onward...

Well as most of you know I am living full time. Doing so has really affected change in my life on a scale I could never have imagined. Most of it seems to be within myself. Like the way I think and the way I feel about everything really. I want to understand myself as well as others like me.  Why do I have these thoughts and very real feelings? I know it is not just me who is thinking about some of things I am going to discuss. I have 3 close TS friends living full time who I have discussed things with and will discuss further for sure. I hope I can communicate these as openly and honestly without sounding elite, disrespectful or mean. This is definitely NOT a blog intended to do so in any way.  I do not think myself better than everyone else. I'm as flawed as the rest of humanity.  If you cannot respect these feelings and thoughts maturely I suggest you go elsewhere.

I feel these topics are all to often dismissed as only hurtful. Too many people in the TG community are not willing to deal with these subjects in a mature fashion. They want to sweep the subject under the carpet and forget about it. Accusations of elitism or purposeful flaming always seem to follow these topics. Is it really so difficult for the TG community to deal with these subjects openly, honestly and respectfully? We will never evolve fully until everyone can discuss EVERY painful or TABOO subject without the fear of reprisals.The art of discussion and debate seems to have been lost long ago. Flame wars, fear and anger seem to have replaced them.

The topics I have been thinking about most and discussing with other transwomen are:

• Living in Stealth Mode
• TG Segregation of groups (CD, TV ,TS, ?)

Both of these topics can easily be blogs by themselves and there are some out there, but I want to have them together for a reason. They are tightly related, yet highly controversial and they occupy my thoughts a great deal lately.

NOTE: I cannot speak for or too the feelings and thoughts of Transmen because I do not know any.

Segregation of Groups

This is a very sensitive and painful subject for sure. I AM NOT suggesting or condoning the idea that the TG community needs to split up.  Anyone who attended IFGE this past April will remember a particular speaker's opinions on the matter. It caused quite a stir on both sides of the fence. In fact it pissed a lot of people off. I was pretty much dumbfounded by the speaker's points. But I am a very open minded person. At least I tried to understand why this speaker felt the way they did. In some ways I do understand now. Even thought I may not agree with her on some of the views, I am not going to crucify her over them. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinions. And trying to understand why people have those opinions is very difficult sometimes. But without trying too understand each other how can we possibly come together when we need to? How can we ever succeed if we keep bashing peoples heads in for having an opinion? Attacking anyone for their ideas or onions will NEVER accomplish anything.

I want to bring this down to a personal level.  I understand I am opening up myself up to some immature hurtful, backlash. I'm fine with that. But be prepared for me to bite back. I have admittedly pulled myself away from CD and TV friends. I don't seem to enjoy hanging out with them as much as I used to for a few seemingly selfish reasons. This is not a new feeling. It has actually been there since my very first public venture out in to the world. I do not do this out of meanness or some elite position in anyway. I am serious.... I am not trying to hurt peoples feelings. But it is how I and other transwomen feel.

I have always felt out of place in many ways in groups of CDs and TVs. Being with them immediately makes me a CD or TV in the eyes of the people around us at the time. I really don't want to or like being perceived or thought of in that way.  I just want to be seen and treated like a woman.  It does not matter how "normal, average Jane" a transwoman dresses or acts in such company, we often get labeled anyway. This is not conjecture on my part either, this is based on real life experience in these situations over almost 2 years.

People make lots of assumptions about others by the company they keep and they are often very wrong and often hurtful though it might not seem so.

The simple fact is we really have little in common as far the labels are concerned. The CDs and TVs I know are wonderful, nice people and we have been good for each other and had fun times. I hope that we can still enjoy each other's company on occasion. But the simplest way I can explain it is that I am a woman and they desire to dress like women. I know this over simplifies things but it really is a basic truth. It is not that I don't like CDs or TVs (we all are at one point and some of them are my friends). It is that we don't really talk about the same things, do the same things or experience life the same way. Other transwomen have said this to me too.

So now I wonder why I am feeling this way and why are the other transwomen too? Am I and other transwomen just burned out and strongly desire to move to other things in life?

A big gotchya with CDs and TV's that are even somewhat closeted, is they may not be able to easily maintain close and honest friendships with a transwomen without some serious restrictions on that friendship. I know I may never be able to hang at their house, meet their friends and family or go out somewhere other than a safe club or area for the basic fact that doing so may out that person on a detrimentally grand scale. And conversely it may unintentionally out the TS woman herself if she is living stealth. I don't want that to happen to anyone that is not ready to be outed.

This may be flawed thinking but it is all I have to go on right now and I have been there.

So to generalize again... we are NOT the same. There are indeed similarities between all TG people. But enfemme for a CD or TV is a much different world. It is not my world or most other TS woman's that I know. For many CD and TV it is all about the thrill of being dressed and out enfemme, being seen and the enfemme experience. When the night is over, so are they. My goal is to enjoy life as the woman I am and to blend in to that world as best I possible can most of the time.  I am me 24-7. When the night is over, I am still me.

So many transpeople expend so much emotional and physical energy just to become who they are some may not want these feelings of restriction in their lives. I don't. We have been trying to overcome them far too long. Maybe it is selfish, but dose anyone really enjoy being in situations that make them feel uncomfortable or out of place? Can you honestly say you will regularly put yourself in situations that make you feel uncomfortable? I think not. This dose not just apply to people who happen to be TG either. So why should any TG person be penalized for these feelings by the TG community? This is NOT an elitist position as I know people will say it is. There is always a time and a place for us to come together and "represent". But it does not have to be a constant in our daily lives.

As I write this I realize there really is so much more to this line of thought, the differences and feelings we all have. How can anyone put it all down fairly and concisely in such a short commentary? Heck someone should write a book!

Living in Stealth Mode

I truly understand why so many TS women drop off the radar. Many of the reasons I just pointed out in "Segregation" may influence this decision and there are surely many more. I have several TS friends that are living in deep stealth and some that are planning to as their transition progresses. I myself have been turning this over in my head for a while now as are two of my good friends. Stealth seems in many ways the holy grail of transition. Whether it is possible or not is not as important. But honestly since I started living full time I have had many thoughts and feelings that I cannot explain. Some are even controversial subjects in the TG community.

What does probably every transwoman want?
To live her life to the fullest without the nag and labels of life getting in her way or dragging her down... To live her life without having to deal with the BS that being a transwoman can bring on top of all the other BS in everyone's lives. Segregating herself from the rest of the TG community is a really powerful and effective way to live in stealth.

By the time a Transwoman does transition her entire life and being, she is probably very tired emotionally, socially, financially and even spiritually. She is ready for a break so she can just move on with her life without the burden she has carried for so very long.  Without all the noise! Too be totally honest I may very well drop of the radar within the next year. As the hormones have greater affect on my body and mind I want to just fade into the fabric of society. I am now planning for FFS next year to help me do that even better. It has been my dream all my life to live as my true self and to be seen and known only as a woman without question. Almost every transwoman I have ever talked to at length has said the same thing.

Honestly too, not all transfolk can safely or successfully live out in the open. They may only ever sneak out at TG or GLBT conferences on occasion if at all. It is likely better they live in deep stealth. I could probably come up with dozens of solid reasons but I will just mention a few: personal safety, career opportunities, family, personal health. Think about these in geographic or social terms and you too can understand If you try. It is not hard to figure out what might and does happen to a woman if she were outed in a less than accepting community, career or trade.

Is that so wrong? We choose many things in life but we did not choose to be a TG or transsexual,  if we choose to live in stealth to hide that fact it is not wrong nor is it anyone else's place to say that it is.

Conclusion

So what of activism or just being out there for our TG family... to fight the good fight to further our cause? Being stealth does not help anyone?

This is one of those things I read and hear from so many TG that are way out and fighting for the causes that chaps my ass. This is where the stealthy, non-stealthy, CDs, TVs, etc. clash. Some who are out there will openly dis those living in stealth. And some in stealth will do the same. Like it or not we are all one big family there is no need to dis anyone, unless they are just an ass to begin with. We can have both. We can have stealthy transwomen and transmen and we can have the open supporters, fighters and the activists. All the infighting and tension just within the TG community is proof in my mind that we all still do not understand each other very well.

If and probably when I and my friends do drop off the radar we can be just as big an asset and help for the GLBT community as one who is on the front lines. Not everyone has the ability, drive or charisma to be an effective leader, catalyst for change or respected representative of our community. Some choose to be open like I have been since I started this journey. Some are forced into it by circumstance, but that does not mean they have to stay out there. An neither do I if I choose. Those living stealth can contribute significantly with financial contributions, quiet support at home, work or other. They can even openly support the community without compromising their own lives in stealth. The power of blogging and public journals is amazing and you can maintain complete anonymity doing it.  We can all, stealthy or not, support each other in our own way.

No matter what we do with our lives or the choices we make we should never abandon anyone. You may not know our names or where we are, but we will always be here. I hope everyone will understand that. I also hope that we can all agree to disagree without lashing out at each other.