Avery is a decorated veteran of the Korean war whiling away a quiet life in rural America with that most constant of companions: his dog, the eponymous Red.  One morning, the old friends drive down to an idyllic spot where the woods meet a beautiful lake for a little fishing.  Avery sets his rig down and casts his bait into the calm waters; Red settles in contentedly beside him.  It’s just another easy-going day for the pair until three teenagers looking for trouble happen upon them.  With the cold barrel of a hunting rifle to his temple, Avery bites his tongue, acquiesces with their demands; he offers up his beat-up old truck and hands over what little money he has, but it’s not enough to satisfy their sneering arrogance.  Danny McCormack, leader of the pack and elder brother to the hesitant Harold, turns the gun on Red and gut-shots the poor dog before stalking off to spend his hard day’s earnings on a sit-down dinner, leaving a stricken Avery to pick up the bloody pieces.

What begins as a contemplative countryside portrait becomes a more pointedly emotional character study of an apparently powerless old man trying to cope with the callous barbarities of contemporary society, but it’s not long before co-directors Lucky McKee and Trygve Diesen demonstrate their preparedness to undermine the audience’s expectations a second time: Avery, you see, buries his dog with a grunt and a frown, putting his grief aside to deal more directly with the murderous youths.  Red becomes something akin to a revenge thriller; one old man with a heartfelt vendetta versus three little pigs and the institutions that shelter them.  Initially, all Avery wants is for them to take responsibility for their actions, but the very reasonable recompense this well-liked, peaceful store-owner seeks is met with nothing more substantial than polite indifference and the odd empty apology.  Robert Englund and Tom Sizemore as the teenagers’ fathers shrug off his accusations, and the DA doesn’t think Avery’s case is worth the trouble it would take to prosecute.  Things seem to be looking up when a friend brings in a local TV journalist to cover the story but even her human-interest pieces aren’t enough to bring out the truth.  In the end, Avery feels he has no choice except to take the task upon himself.

The story gets going quickly and wraps up with a satisfying bang, but Red’s pacing suffers some as Avery bangs his head against the wall trying to do the right thing without succumbing to the vengeful insistence of the proud army man he once was.  There’s some uneven work through the second act, too, particularly from Kim Dickens as the intrepid reporter, whose three-year deployment in the Deadwood desert as an abused prostitute come lesbian brothel-operator seems more natural in comparison; Stephen Susco’s script doesn’t give her much to work with, but she can’t convince even on the sole count of her one-note role.  More damningly, there’s no chemistry between her and Cox despite the screen-time they share, the end result of which being that the pivotal secrets Avery reveals to her character ring hollow.  Sizemore is similarly one-dimensional as the ultimate villain of the piece, but he gives his shallow character arc the usual poor man’s Michael Madsen, which is to say he frowns quite well.  Cox, too, stumbles on a few of his lines, most notably outside the courthouse when he snaps at the Santa-shaped sheriff.

The cast are otherwise well equipped – young Noel Fisher of The Riches is just shy of scene-stealing as anarchic dog-slaughterer Danny – but it’s lucky, in the end, that so much of Red relies on Cox, whose efforts ably support the meandering narrative.  Although his performance is too underplayed to be a powerhouse, Cox gives everything away while overtly betraying nothing; his finest moment, in Red at the least, is when Danny’s father throws a chance at redemption back at Avery.  A revelatory shot captures the eventual bubbling-over of his embitterment: as the old man makes to leave, Sizemore’s character stops him in his tracks and the frame splits an extreme close-up of Avery in half, the better to see the patience in his age-worn face positively twisting into an astringent grimace.  The mise-en-scene casts Avery as every bit the Two Face the audience has been waiting to see, and when he finally lets loose, the horrific results are suitably gratifying, if a little throwback.

The cult horror-movie calibre of the two directors works well enough for Red on the rare occasion the script calls for such expertise, but Lucky McKee – who took on the adaptation of the Jack Ketchum novel and nearly saw out principal photography before abandoning the project without explanation – and Trygve Diesen are smart enough to stay out of the way and let Cox carry the narrative.  While the climactic showdown lacks in vital physicality and there are some missing continuity shots that recall the film’s troubled production, their work is assured enough that their decidedly seedy filmographies are sure to improve.

Red suffers from a script from The Grudge screenwriter Stephen Susco, whose dialogue here tends towards monologue and whose grasp on pacing seems strangely saggy, but the human tale of the novel that inspired his work is authentic enough to shine through.  Avery’s tragic history, however, is misguided in either iteration of Ketchum’s story – a blunt instrument that undermines much of the subtlety of his hurt and the anger it encourages.  Nonetheless, six months in development hell, two directors and a flat script hardly matter in the wake of Brian Cox’s compelling performance.  He, alone – and despite a few foibles, he’s certainly not – is more than enough of a reason to see Red.

The Blog About Movies: When did you get started in acting?
William Mapother: I briefly took a class right after college, but my real training started in 1997 when I attended a two-year school in Santa Monica.

tBAM: When did you know you wanted to act?
WM: In 1995 I lived for a while in NYC and took a class with Ann Jackson. Acting proved to be more fun and challenging than I'd ever imagined. I was hooked.

tBAM: How is filming for tv different than filming a movie?
WM: TV is very fast. Actors typically get only one or two takes. The emphasis is on getting it shot. Movies usually offer a bit more time to explore the scene.

tBAM: Alright, this is something I've always been curious about. The Grudge is one of the scariest films, I've seen. And I've been wondering; does it creep you out to watch The Grudge, or is it different since you were apart of filming?
WM: I was creeped out watching it, without a doubt. Except my scenes. During those I was noting only how I could've improved them (!).

tBAM: How does filming in Japan compare to filming in the US? Is there a huge difference, or none at all?
WM: The set was quieter and calmer, I thought, than the average U.S. set. Also, actors in Japan are treated as just another member of the crew, I was told. No trailers or special treatment..

tBAM: What is your favorite project that you've worked on?
WM: I've been lucky enough to like them all, and that's no joke. On every project I've found something to be very grateful for: material, co-stars, lessons learned, friendships made, etc. I'm very fortunate to love what I do.

tBAM: What has been your toughest challenge as an actor?
WM: Waiting for a job. I really enjoy acting, so having to wait to do it is darn difficult.

tBAM: What elements make a good movie, in your opinion?
WM: I'd answer as I think most people would: a good story, believable characters, a strong point-of-view from the director, and well-executed technical elements.

tBAM: What do you think is the largest flaw with the film industry?
WM: The sheer cost of making a movie. Everything suffers because of it.

tBAM: You tend to play a lot of dark and violent characters, including the allegedly violent character of Ethan Rom. So, how do you play these characters, when you're such a nice guy?
WM: Like many actors, I imagine myself in circumstances in which I would act that way, e.g., if someone I cared for or was protecting were threatened or harmed. The trick is belief. The actor has to buy into the imaginary circumstances.

tBAM: Like I said you play a lot of dark and violent characters, but is there a point that you would stop at? Is there a role you wouldn't take?
WM: If I felt that I couldn't justify the character's actions to myself, or that the show was reducing him to simply a story element.

tBAM: And just because I have to mention Lost. With the recent releases of the Sex and the City, and the X-Files movies; do you think Lost will ever be made into a movie?
WM: I can't tell you what will happen on the next ep, and you want me to predict three years into the future?? If I had to bet, I'd lay money that when it's done, it's done. (Then again, we're talking about Lost.)

tBAM: On the Series Finale, they could all end up stuck on the island, again and then maybe they could make a movie a year after the Finale. I can see it now, Lost: We Want to Leave!!! That joke was very lame. I'm leaving that off the record. It never happened.
WM: But it DID happen. Very funny.

tBAM: I saw the trailer for The Burrowers, and it looks very interesting, so I have to ask about that. What can you tell us about The Burrowers?
WM: It's a horror-western set in the 1870's. Ranchers go in search of kidnapped settlers. Horror ensues.

tBAM: Have you got to watch the film yet?
WM: Not yet. I will at Screamfest in LA in a couple weeks. I'm looking forward to it. Very good script and cast.

tBAM: Do you have any advice for aspiring actors?
WM: Learn your craft. Develop a technique. I studied the Meisner Technique and I wouldn't be an actor without it.

tBAM: You just finished a successful run in Glengarry Glen Ross. So, what are you doing next?
WM: I'm attached to a few films which are awaiting funding, and I'm waiting to hear back, as always, about a few projects. It never fails: As soon as I think I'll have some free time: Jobs fall from the sky.

tBAM: And last but not least, do you have any final comments?
WM: Thank you for watching. Without you, none of us would work. And we all know it. Finally, my official site/blog is williammapother.blogspot.com Thank you!

-------------

We here at the blog want to thank William for taking the time to do an interview with us! We couldn't have been more thrilled to interview him. It really was an honor!

For more information and news about William and his upcoming projects check out his blog.

Passengers is a supernatural thriller directed by Rodrigo García (Things You Can Tell Just By Looking At Her) and written by Ronnie Christensen (10.5). It stars Anne Hathaway (Get Smart), Patrick Wilson (Lakeview Terrace), Clea DuVall (The Grudge), David Morse (Disturbia), Dianne Wiest (Dan In Real Life) and Andre Braugher (The Andromeda Strain) among others.

It tells the story of Claire, a young therapist who's assigned to a group of plane crash survivors, when weird stuff starts happening. I think it looks pretty cool, but the supernatural thriller genre has provided many disappointments, especially when the time comes to explain stuff. The film will come out in the US on October 24th but people in Greece and Spain can already go see it. If any of you already have, please share your thoughts in the comments.

So as a consolation to the friend who issued the challenge (who just had a birthday, so I need to do something special), I'm going to try my Nick Hornby High Fidelity best to make a Top Ten Songs I'm Obsessed With Right This Minute--the songs that, for whatever reason, I just can't stop listening to this week (and I'm only giving the downloads to her, so the rest of you will have to go out and find these gems on your own).

10.  "Impossible Germany"--Wilco (Album: Sky Blue Sky) 

I have no idea why I love this song so much. All I know is that when I listen to it, I'm in a good mood. And some days, that's really all I need to know. But I also know that this song has some amazing guitar work, and some days, that's all I really need to know as well.

I'm a relative late-comer to Wilco, although I've been aware of them since they were formed in the mid-'90s from the ashes of Uncle Tupelo. And frontman Jeff Tweedy and I grew up in towns that are an hour apart and have a teeny-tiny, so-infinitesimally-small-that-it-doesn't-really-exist connection to each other that's a long story for another post. Anyway, Wilco = awesome, and I'm glad I finally came around to them.

9.    "Euro-Trash Girl"--Cracker (Album: Kerosene Hat)

I'd forgotten that this song even existed until a friend (the other friend who was dared to put together a Top Ten of All Time list, actually) reminded me. I think I heard this song on the radio so much in 1993 that once its popularity faded away, my memories of it faded as well. But I probably appreciate "Euro-Trash Girl" even more now than I did then. I don't know if that says something about the song or something about me.

"Euro-Trash Girl", about what sounds like the craziest European backpacking trip ever, is just awesome from start to finish. Personal highlights for me are the guitar solo (listen at about 5:40) and the lines "Called my mom from a pay phone/Said I'm down to my last/She said "I sent you to college"/"Now go call your dad." Just terrific.

8.   "All I Need"--Radiohead (album: In Rainbows)

I've waxed enthusiastic about In Rainbows before, and I still can't stop listening to it. In fact, it's nearly impossible for me to choose a favorite song from this disk because it's practically flawless from start to finish. But today, "All I Need" is the winner. Today. Tomorrow, something else perhaps. 

"All I Need" is one of those songs that I put in the category of "Songs You Think Are Gonna Be Love Songs But Turn Out to Be Something Very, Very Different" (the two best songs in this category being The Police's "Every Breath You Take" and Elvis Costello's "I Want You"). "All I Need" is a beautifully sad song that builds to an even more beautiful, crashing climax. And I'm a sucker for a beautiful, crashing climax.

7.    "Train in Vain"--The Clash (album: London Calling)

Perhaps one of the most upbeat songs ever written about getting dissed by someone you love, "Train in Vain" is one of the songs on this list that would probably make my all-time Top Ten list. I've loved this song since I was a kid, and I love it so much that I even gave it a role in my first-novel-that-will-probably-never-exist-anywhere-other-than-my-computer's-hard-drive.

One thing in particular that I love about this song is that the drum beat actually sounds like a train chugging down the tracks, and I just think that's cool. And the drum track is the backing loop to another song I was obsessed with for a time--Garbage's "Stupid Girl" (a song I was obsessed with for reasons that should be obvious, given the title). And I think that's cool, too.

6.   "On Your Side"--Pete Yorn (album: musicforthemorningafter)

For me, trying to choose a favorite Pete Yorn song is like trying to choose between my favorite kinds of ice cream--it just sort of depends on what I'm in the mood for at the time. But "On Your Side" is a song I always come back to.

Some songs evoke memories or landscapes, and "On Your Side" always evokes clouds and rain for me because the first time I heard this song was on a rainy day. I can listen to this song when the sun is out, but somehow the song doesn't have the same effect on me (and I can listen to the live version of this song at almost any time and not be moved in quite the same way as I am when I hear the recorded version-weird).

5.    "Two Step"--Dave Matthews Band w/Tim Reynolds and Bela Fleck (Worcester's Centrum Center, Worcester, MA, December 7, 1998)

Please--you knew I wasn't going to get through this list without including at least a few DMB songs, right?

If I showed up at a DMB show and found out that they would be playing the same song over and over for three hours, I would vote for "Two Step." And if I could go back in time to witness one version of this song, I would vote for this version.

This "Two Step" is so good I hardly know where to start. I love the fact that the mix is such that you can hear the crowd singing along. And a definite highlight of this sixteen-minute-plus behemoth is the guitar/banjo duel between Tim Reynolds and Bela Fleck that begins at about the 7:30 mark.

But if you're in a rush and can't listen to the entire song, then listen to about the last six minutes or so. I can't even begin to know how to describe them--they just fall into that category of ineffable music moments that have to be experienced to be understood. I'll just say that the first time I listened to this version of "Two Step," I thought those last six minutes were going to take my head clean off, they're that good. And then at the end, Dave just calmly says "Thank you very much" as if he has no idea that he and his band and his guests have just totally fucked everyone up.

4.    "The Grudge"--Tool (album: Lateralus)

Man, I love me some Tool. And I want to emphasize that "The Grudge" is currently my favorite Tool song, which is sort of like saying that "My second child is currently my favorite child." Because all of Tool's angry little children are good, but the "The Grudge" is the one that's showing up the most on my iPod at the present moment.

This song, which opens Lateralus, is so musically and lyrically phenomenal that most of the time I forget that there are twelve other songs on this album (And what songs! "Schism." "Parabola." "Ticks and Leeches." This album is just a freaking beast.). And if you've ever held a grudge against someone, the kind of grudge that slowly eats you alive, you'll be convinced that Maynard James Keenan is looking into your soul.

3.    "It's a Lie"--Fiction Plane (album: Left Side of the Brain)

Fiction Plane is one of those bands that was pretty much screwed from the beginning, because even though they started out as a four-piece band, they eventually evolved into a three-piece and lead singer/guitarist Joe Sumner assumed the role of lead singer/bassist. While their mere evolution wouldn't be enough in and of itself to doom a band, in this case, Joe Sumner is the son of Gordon Sumner, aka Sting, who was also the lead singer/bassist of a little band that you may have heard of. I don't know if Joe's familial connections are what's keeping Fiction Plane from reaching critical mass or not, but I'm guessing that some people can't get past the relationship. Plus, Joe Sumner happens to look and sound a lot like Sting (Some people don't agree with me on this. These people are wrong.), which probably doesn't help matters much.

I'll be honest--part of the reason I like "It's a Lie" is that it's a bit filthy. Sample lyrics: "Wish I could tell you I'm a better guy/That love is all around/And only real men cry/But all I wanna do is jump your bones/Slam dance all night to the music of your moans. So we're not exactly in "Every Breath You Take" territory here. Actually, I can think of a few relationships I had back in the '90s that would have gone a lot better had the guys in question gotten the previous sentiments out on the table right when we first met--stories that are perhaps best left for another time.

And whether or not he sounds like Sting, I have to admire Joe Sumner's use of "jump your bones" in a song released in 2007. I don't think I've heard that phrase since college, and I'm assuming all parties involved were very, very drunk at the time. 

2.    "American Baby Intro"--Dave Matthews Band (Verizon Wireless Amphitheater, Charlotte, NC, September 19, 2007)

I hate to be one of those DMB fans who always says stuff like "Dude, you so had to be there to appreciate this version of the song." But, Dude, you kind of had to be there to appreciate this version of "American Baby Intro." And I was.

"American Baby Intro" is a neat little summation of what people both like and hate about DMB. The song has almost no lyrics (She said a hundred times/She said a thousand times/Yeah...) and is rarely followed live by the song that it is an introduction to. And this particular version of the song was the longest ever played at that time (nearly twelve minutes), while the version of the song on Stand Up clocks in at just over two minutes--so, yes, they jammed it out to nearly six times its original length. The song, on its face, is so worthless that even some of the DMB hardcore can't stand to hear it live.

But on this particular night in Charlotte, "ABI" was the first song of the encore to one of the best concerts I'd ever seen, hands down. I have a theory that if early on in the show, you can see Dave, Boyd, and Carter looking at each other like they want to rip each other to shreds, then you're in for an intense DMB experience. And on this night, the three of them kept exchanging looks that clearly said, to me, anyway, "Bring it, motherfucker." The show was wall-to-wall intense, with a setlist to match (seriously, add in "#41" and "Grey Street" and I probably would have peed myself right there in front of everyone). By the time "ABI" came around, the band was on fire and so was the crowd.

This "ABI" rises and then slows, and then rises and slows again (thus making it the perfect workout song--I'm just saying). The first rise culminates in a heavy metal scream from Dave (at about 3:27) that was truly one of the most bizarre things I'd ever seen (his mouth was open so wide that I thought his jaw was going to unhinge and then swing around and swallow the rest of his head--that's the only way I know how to describe it). And by the time the second rise climaxed, I felt as though my feet had left the ground several times, carried on the swirl of the music. This occasion was the only time that I can recall feeling literally lifted by music, and I was exhausted by the end of the song. The only thing that even comes close to ruining this version of "ABI" for me is the guy on the tape who keeps yelling "#41!" the whole time. I truly hope someone punched him in the face, because that's what I would have done had he been sitting anywhere in my vicinity.

So I fully expect that almost no one will get my love for this version of this particular song unless they were in Charlotte that night (and the friend who dared me to put together my all-time Top Ten was, so the song has nice memories on another level as well). I can only hope my description has done the atmosphere that night just a little bit of justice.

1.    "Loving Wings"--Dave Matthews Band (Saratoga Performing Arts Center, Saratoga, NY, August 27, 2003)

This song is really two songs in one. The first four minutes is a beautiful little love song with a hypnotic little guitar part repeating in the background. The next five minutes, however, build into an amazing instrumental jam featuring drummer Carter Beauford and late saxophonist LeRoi Moore at their absolute best (and I can't help but feel a little pain when hearing this song, knowing that Roi will never play it again). "Loving Wings" is one of those songs that makes me appreciate the amazing level of musicianship in this band.

Unfortunately, this song has never been recorded, so the only versions are from live shows. Which means that no version of this song exists that doesn't have thousands of drunk people in the background screaming "Wooo!" and "I love you, Dave!"  Try to block that out and enjoy the ride that is "Loving Wings."

Bonus Track (because every good playlist deserves a bonus track): "Spilt Needles"--The Shins (album:Wincing the Night Away)

This song has many memorable lines, but my favorites are: It's like I'm perched on the the handlebars/Of a blind man's bike. I swear I feel this way at least once a day, but no one has ever quite put that feeling into words so eloquently.

There are some films that fail so badly that you really can't remember much about them. I was once drunk on a flight to Tokyo and watched The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and actually didn't understand a single scene, character or event. I asked the woman next to me, who was also voluntarily watching, if she had a clue what was happening, and she shrugged and started ordering gin and tonics. We both got trashed. The third Pirates of the Carribbean was the same - I've attempted to watch it 3 or 4 times, but my efforts to extract any plot or logic have been in vain. One Missed Call falls into the same category as these two - a bunch of stuff happens and then it ends.

I used to quite like Ed Burns, after Confidence was a sleeper underdog that it highly watchable. But I can't imagine why he would have participated in this at all.  Plotwise, it's a cripplingly slow, illogical teen drama, that employs all the cliches we've come to expected from poorly-written, hacked-together J-horror. It has the classic gags:

- Inexplicably pissed-off scary girl at the center of the whole thing.
- The detective with the implausible interest in a bizarre case.
- The unexplained 'chain of death' (a la The Grudge or The Ring).

But whereas The Grudge was just plain ridiculous while scary (don't the neighbors get suspicious about that house?), and we all marveled at Samara's calendar-scheduling capabilities in The Ring, this stinker wouldn't scare a 5-year old and there's no reason at all for any parts of the plot. There's even some very, very strange scene where a burned corpse in an A/C duct comes to life and scares the living bejesus out of the hero character. In what should have been a pivotal bowel-emptying revelation, I was wondering why nobody in the building noticed the burning smell coming through the A/C. If this happened in my house, my wife would have me changing the filters every five Goddamned minutes and I would be like "It's notthe filters, it must be a corpse that's been cremated in the bathroom wall" and she'd be like "change it, change it NOW."

I feel like I've not provided a very detailed review but I'm not kidding when I say I don't remember much. There's a complete spoiler here and even that doesn't make any sense. Oh, and the foreshadowing is so labored that even my better half said "why do they keep showing that" (in between reading a book and polishing her nails because she was so bored). I turned to her at one point and asked if the J-horror stereotypes made her afraid of young Asian girls in case they try to come back in the afterlife. She looked at me strangely and went back to reading and polishing.

Speaking of which, it's a sure sign you've been to too many torture museums when you look out the window of the plane, see the propellers start up, and imagine what a mess it would make if a Soviet soldier or Nazi policeman forced someone into it. It could happen. Hell, it probably did happen. That was likely detailed in the parts of all the museums where I finally and inevitably decide I've seen enough photographs of bloated dead bodies and head for the nearest exit.

Anywho, I flew from Latvia to Lithuania and Lithuania to Italy this morning in the pre-dawn hours. I am really not a morning person, so this was harder on me than I'm making it sound. Plus, the Baltics and their hostel-dwelling homeless got their head cold/flu claws into me, and I'm fighting something that's making my throat sore and my ears hurt and my shoulders ache and my skin sensitive. And my ears hurt. Did I mention that? Ah, yes I did. (something tells me this blog is not going to be as sharp as some of the others...)

However, despite the seemingly mundane circumstances of getting the hell out of Dodge, there were still many puzzles presented as I bid my adieu. For instance, the announcements by the airline staff in “English.” I first got an earful of this on the flight from Warsaw to Vilnius. It was as if I were to construct a sentence of the ten words I know in Italian and string them together with a babble of sound that I think kind of sounds like the language.

“Signore e signori blahblahBLAHblahBLAHBLAHblah BIGLIETTO blah blah AUTOBUS PREGO SCUZI blah blah blah blah GRAZI!” In Poland, that means you're fluent.

Anyway, I don't understand a word of any of them, but I imagine that Polish, Lithuanian, and Latvian are spoken very, very rapidly . I base this hypothesis upon their slander of my mother tongue: Fast, slurred, and incomprehensible. It's as if Bullwinkle's Boris and Natasha got jobs as auctioneers.

Meanwhile, I've had two weird (one was more alarming than weird, actually) run-ins with old ladies in the last few days. I'd be open to your input here (particularly advice on how to avoid future-such incidents):

1. Lost in Riga with backpack in tow and searching for my boondocks hotel. I had been wandering suburban streets for about fifteen minutes. I turned the corner and came upon three goats tied to one another (and struggling in a three-way goat tug-of-war) on the sidewalk. One was eating some grass in the area between the street and sidewalk, and on the other side of the sidewalk was a school playground where children were playing. All was normal but for the bondage goat menage a trois.

   It was so gosh darn weird, that I put down my messenger bag and began rifling through in search of my camera. Then I noticed a shadow fall on me, and looked up to see a 110-year old woman – straight out of Grimm's Fairy Tales. But the kicker was, she was looking at me as though I'd just stepped off a spaceship. Seriously, I could not have been a bigger oddity had I been dressed as a member of Kiss and levitating three feet off the ground with fire coming out of my eyeballs. Here I thought these goats (and their ancient caretaker) were a sight to behold, but it seems – as always – the joke was on me. Stranger in a strange land, for sure.

2. Then, late this morning in Rome, I was marching down the street in search of my hostel (notice a common theme? Alas, it's true, a lot of time is spent looking for stuff – mentally, physically, metaphysically – and great weight is carried while these searches occur. Hmmmm...). Anyway, I'm tramping down the street minding my own business, and I jump about a foot as my mind tries to process the sight of this older woman coming at me with her mouth open like she's going to bite my messenger bag (that I carry in front). Seriously, this scared the living SH*T out of me. I cannot accurately convey how truly alarming a sight this was. It was a massive adrenaline punch, and I felt immediately poised to start running. It was so random and bizarre, and it totally brought to mind imagery from that movie “The Grudge”. Her mouth seemed so BLACK. This photo is not quite as scary: http://www.allmoviephoto.com/photo/2004_the_grudge_011_big.html Then she screamed at me in Italian until I got far enough away that I couldn't hear it anymore. Probably a good thing I don't really speak Italian, or this might give me bad dreams or something???

Seriously though, when has THAT ever happened to you????

Do you think when we die all the answers to these WTF moments are cleared up?

Speaking of WTF, on the back of my seat on the first flight was this cartoon picture of two pilots saluting. They were both overweight, one notably so. The fat one (it amused me that they took the care to give them both love handles) had a Hitler-esque (Hitler in need of a trim shall we say) mustache and was holding an ice cream cone with three scoops in the hand that wasn't saluting. The thinner, younger-looking one was holding an apple, but staring at the ice cream. Wha.....?????

To the left, it said a bunch of stuff I don't understand in Latvian or Lithuanian or the like. I will say, my favorite words (I jotted them down) were nesunegaluotu (do you think that means 'glutton'?) and papasakok (I just like saying that).

This raises many possible interpretations. I posit to you a few of my own, but seeing before you the picture, feel free to share your own:

• Ice cream makes you fat

• Lithuanians have apples, but gelato (like the Italians have) is better

• Hitler liked ice cream. A lot.

• You, passenger, are in back hungry, while we – the pilots – are in front gorging

• We salute you, but we also salute the four food groups – minus meat (unless you count my pudgy coworker here)

• I would kill this guy with just an apple to get my hands on his ice cream

• Ain't dadaism grand?

Oh, and I finally figured out how to get soap out of the Lithuanian soap dispensers – they're like MILKING A COW (funny that this should NOT occur to me, as I have exactly zero cow milking experience). Actually, everywhere you go, there are little mysteries to figure out like turning on the lights, flushing the toilets, and getting to the soap. In America, so much is automated. In Europe, it's like an IQ test. You do things like pulverize a bar of soap in the spirit of an organ grinder's monkey - Germany, utilize a “soap on a pole” (like soap on a rope, but on a big metal nail thing) – France, and, as previously mentioned, work an udder.

I remember when I was working as a banking consultant I went to this one credit union where they had all this hand washing propaganda in the bathroom about how there are more germs on your hands than there are people in London. And about how some horrifyingly low amount of people wash their hands after using the bathroom (and it's DEFINITELY lower in these parts - people crap on a cookie sheet and go out and get themselves a Big Mac without pause), and – most importantly – that's how you get sick.

Basically, that credit union gave me Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that afternoon. The whole bathroom was one big scare tactic – and it worked. On me, anyway. I still do all of it:

1. Soap up and scrub for at least 30 seconds

2. If you have any rings, take them off or slide them around and get under them with the soap.

3. Rinse with hot water

4. Don't touch anything once you're clean! Hang onto your paper towel when you're done drying and use it to open the door to get out.

#4 poses a particular challenge in a land of heated hand dryers and the “infinity towel”. That's when (I suspect) there's like three feet of towel turning over and over everyone uses it. I thought these things went extinct in the 1980s along with the Dorothy Hamil haircut and Nehru jackets, but apparently they were just shipped to Italy and Minneapolis.

In those circumstances, I dry my hands on my pants and use my elbows to open the doors. I'm like a veritable Christy Brown.

However, perhaps the most unusual thing I saw on my way out of the Baltics was a beautiful, happy, laughing little girl on plane. In stark contrast to her parents, she was friendly and sweet and full of smiles. Their younger child was an angry little man, so they plopped her out in the aisle while they attended to him, and as I was in the row behind them, she promptly gravitated my way. I mixed up some Emergen-C in front of her eyes like it was a magic trick. She looked at me with as much wonderment as the goat lady, Only a lot friendlier.

I have all these different colored pens in my bag, and I got them out and she was coloring with me (I was in the aisle seat). At one point, her mother got up, looked at us, made a face, and then just sat back down. I'll throw down that any American (British? Australian? Irish? Swiss? Scottish? German? Canadian? etc. etc.) mother would chat and be slightly friendly to a woman entertaining the child she'd tossed in the aisle. Maybe at least smile?

Anyway, whatever with her. I was just hoping to leave a positive impression on the next generation so maybe they can learn to be a little less cold.

Thus, I hope my re-education efforts don't cause any trouble. Hopefully that little girl isn't thrown in the gulag wherever she's going.. At two and-a-half or three years old, she's too young to have been fully programmed with the official sneer, or maybe just doesn't understand yet that smiling is illegal in the Balkans? ;)

What a strange world, my friends...

But nothing I will figure out tonight or while feeling so whipped. Ciao bellas and bellos! Sleep tight and wish me luck fighting off this cold!!!

]]> http://achildoffate84.wordpress.com/?p=38 Mon, 15 Sep 2008 07:28:38 +0000 eurytrophy8447 http://achildoffate84.fr.wordpress.com/2008/09/15/why-dennis-why/ [/caption]

Ang sakit ng ulo ko, nahihilo, para akong na-knocked out ni pacman. Kumakarambola ang bilugan kong tiyan. Masusuka ata ako, nanlalabo ang paningin ko, ang daming muta. Bumangon ako sa aking pagkakahimlay. Saka ko naalala, c "DENNIS TRILLO" ang may kasalanan. Why Dennis? Why?

Sa simula, nag tatawanan pa kami, tumatawa sa mga jokes na walang sense. Natablan ako ng kakornihan. Nalaman ko na ung "Agalub Tae!" ni Joey deLeon sa kanta nyang "Itaktak Mo" ay "Eat Bulaga" pala pag binaligtad mo ung mga letra. How cruel! Nagsising-along sa mga kanta ng N73 ng tropa ko kahit YoW-YoW TugpaK-TugpaK ung tugtog. Nag-eevolve naba ako? Hindi ito maaari. I can't believe it! I'm not emo, I'm just broken. Pakshet. Nilalantakan ung kaawa-awa naming pulutan na anu nga ba un? ung .. ung.. Cornick!. Poota, un pala ang dahilan sa phenomenal changes ko! Ang corny eh. Haha. Pero wala ito kumpara sa ginawa ni Dennis Trillo sa'kin. Anak ng starfish na kulay pink!(Patrick), naisahan niya ko.

"Tsang galang buhay yan! iinom-inom d naman kaya!" yan ang sabi ng nanay ko sa'kin nung unang beses akong umuwi na bangag at gumagapang sa daan na parang sa "The Grudge". Nakakatakot di ba?! Naholdap na rin ako sa daan dahil nagpumilit akong umuwi ng gabi, nakuha yung relos ko, pati ung N2100 cellphone ko, uso p naman yun nung panahon n yun wala na akong pang text sa mga "clanm8s", buti na lang kakatapos ko lang sa good time kaya ubos na ang pera ko pagkaholdap niya sakin at buti na lang di niya ko sinaksak. Ang laki p namang kitchen knife nun!

Potek talaga! May mga pagkakataon ding napapadpad ako sa mga beerhouse na malapit sa bahay namin bago umuwi. Si Berna, short for Bernadette siya ang GRO na umalalay sakin nung isang beses na nakauwi akong basag sa katinuan. Hinihipuan yung pwet ko! Tinatantya yata kung may pera pa sa wallet yung ineeskortan niya. Kala niya huh! Kaya humihipo na rin ako. Malay natin makadale ako sa esquinitang madilim. Kaso downpayment daw muna. Bayarang babae nga, kala mo mayroong "Pay as you order" na plaka na naksabit sa suso. Haay.

Si Dennis talaga sa una lang masarap. Pagkagising mo, 'di lang masakit ang ulo mo, basag pa bulsa mo. Napapaisip tuloy ako kung bakit marami ang lumalaklak para sa sakit ng ulo. Mahirap na nga ang buhay, pinagtutuunan pa ang pag-inom ng alak. Eh bakit kaya di ko itanong sa sarili ko? Ewan.

Tuwing linggo sa lugar namin, nag aayos ang mga kababaihan ng mga bangko't bangkita at isang maliit na lamesa. 'Kala mo may bible study, yun pala, para yun sa mga asawa nilang lalaklak lang. Ang sarap naman ng buhay. May future ka! Take note, linggo pa yun. 'Di na lang sila magsimba para mapatawad ng Itaas.

Sabi nila nakakawala daw ng problema ang pag-inom. Ano naman sa'kin?!! Eh pagkawala ng epekto ng alkohol sa utak mo, maaaning ka nanaman sa kakaisip ng lintik na problemang yan. Pinoy talaga, ang hilig sa short time. Dapat siguro magkaroon ng longevity ang mga hangarin natin sa buhay at least may direction yung path ng mga ginagawa natin, if all else fails, okay lang, mabilis kang babangon. Sana yung problema parang alak na nakakasakit ng ulo pero mawawala rin pagkalipas ng mga oras at pagsisisihan mo sa kung anong dahilan.

Ika nga ng tropa kong si Adel, "Sa alak lang nakukumpleto ang magtotropa.." siguro yun ang encouraging sa pag-iinom. Sa inuman lang kasi nagiging boka ang tao, kahit gaano ka katigas. Bonding, kwento dito, Drama doon, nag-oopen ng problema, iiyak, nagbobokahan, nag-aasaran, naglolokohan, may napag-titripan, nagkakapikunan, nagkakapatawaran. Ang ganda ng interaction between you and your co-drinkers. Wag lang sumobra, dapat maintain moderation. Sa kalasingan madalas nagmumula ang karamihan sa mga krimen at aksidente. Hinay-hinay lang tsong!

Haay alak. Funny may it seemed, parang blessing in disguise. Eh umiinom ako eh, pano sa mga hindi? Hmm.. bhala sila. Tagay na. Hinayupak!

I'm out!

So we retired to bed, with "raunch" on the mind. We begin to rustle in bed and then I kid you not- the bed begins to squeak and make the same crackling noise the chic makes in The Grudge- like a gurgling scratch from the back of one's throat. Freaked us out a bit...but then again we all know that studies show teens are very charged after a horror movie. I sure acted like a teen.

Wallpaper High Quality Widescreen 1920x1200

The Tattooist Review

Reviewed by Nyquill of The Gutter

Now I’m a big fan of tattoos and when I heard of this movie I was really interested in seeing how this movie would work on 2 of my most beloved subjects, horror and tattoos.

Of course my expectations are never too high and when I saw that the movie starred the guy from Roswell, I knew I was in trouble. Have you guys ever seen that dude run? It’s fucking hilarious, it’s like his feet a fighting to touch the ground or something and his hips are too heavy. So anyway he is a tattoo artist that specializes in healing tattoos. Even though everyone tells him its bullshit he is pretty keen on his craft. While at a convention he sees this Samoan cutie at a table and goes after her. Now let me stop there and tell you that this guy is not your ordinary bad ass tattoo artist that never wears shirts and rides badass bikes and dig chicks that fight. No this guy is a green drink, no alcohol, wheat grass eating, tattooed hippy guy that has a knack for stealing peoples ideas to make him famous. So he follows the girl back to a tent to witness an actual tattooing Samoan style going on right there. So what does our little vegan ink man do, he steals one of there tools of course.

            Now this movie involves a vengeful spirit who is awaken after the tool is taken and that puts me in a pang brothers type of mind to wonder ok so what happened to this thing in the past to piss it off and how long do we have to wait for a body to show up hidden somewhere. Romance ensues between the two and our buddy takes residences in a local shop to continue his craft and runs a cross a brother and sister who soon get tainted tattoos and suffer ink filled deaths from our spirit that seems to...um...Tattoo them to death. Now maybe that would be bad ass If the spirit had a like a huge tattoo gun and like tattooed their eyeballs and shit, but no all this thing does is hop on top of you and tap his stick on you and believe me it’s not sexy. There is some hidden secret, a body is found and blah blah blah movie over kisses and stuff. Not at all scary and I though it had potential to be a lot more disgusting. I believe you can wait for it to hit the movie stations on cable.

5/10

His next film was a remake of the Craven borefest The Hills Have Eyes, which was overtly graphic for the sake of being graphic while being just as boring as the original. This says nothing of its originality, of which there is almost none, falling into an inescapable vortex of cheap horror cliches. The final twenty minutes are ridiculously predictable, and I left the theater wondering what the fuck I just watched.

His next film as a writer was P2, which I never saw. This is a good thing, as it doesn't seem to be anything more than your run-of-the-mill Hollywood suspense-thriller. After that comes this year's South Korean remake, Mirrors, doomed to fail because it's a remake of an Asian horror film. Just because The Ring was successful does not give every fucking big-name horror director carte blanche to adapt every Asian horror film into a shitty one-off American adaptation. The Grudge sucked, Dark Water sucked,and Pulse definitely sucked, so what makes you think this won't suck? 'Cause Jack Bauer is in it?

Alexandre Aja is lucky in that he made one successful horror film (albeit a shitty successful horror film). Instead, however, of making more successful horror films that are actually good, he's selling out by making cheap remakes of classics that also suck, remakes of Asian horror films that are rarely good, and really, really, really, really, really, really shitty retarded suspense-thrillers. His next movie is Piranha 3-D. Here's hoping it's a comedy.

Mr. Aja, please stop making shitty horror films. The French are dominating the genre, and you're sticking out like a black man at a Klan rally. Have some God damned dignity and make something truly inspiring to horror fans everywhere. You've exhibited a slow and steady decline, so...well, so I guess you're like most horror directors. Heh. No one can ever top their first.

Fun note: Aja holds membership in the Splat Pack, "a collection of filmmakers who, since 2002, have brought about a renaissance of horror film." Of those on the list, the only who is worth a damn is Neil Marshall, 'cause, well, Dog Soldiers and The Descent fucking ruled.

The Grudge
The Grudge 2

Pulse

The Eye

Shutter

These US movies aren't as good as I expected to be, but I ain't saying they are all terrible.

Released: August 8th
Genre: Drama
Rating: R
Trailer: Click here

The Film - Avery Allan Ludlow (played by Brian Cox), a Korean War vet with a tragic past, lives alone in a small town, where he runs the local hardware store. Av’s only companion is a 14 year-old ginger-haired dog, aptly named Red by Av’s late wife. One day, Av and Red are enjoying a placid outing at their favorite fishing spot when three boys and a shotgun come along. In an instant, Av’s lifelong friend is gone, the victim of a cruel, senseless act. Devastated, Av determines to find out who the boys are and why they did it. Helped by a local reporter (played by Kim Dickens), Av tries to expose the truth, but his efforts are ignored by authorities and mocked by the teenagers. The boys’ parents, a rich local businessman (played by Tom Sizemore) and, across town, a hardscrabble laborer (played by Robert Englund) and his wife (played by Amanda Plummer), are just as determined to keep Av down. But, faithful to the memory of his best friend, Av single-mindedly presses for justice-with or without the law on his side.

The Verdict - Initially I'm surprised. Despite the fact that the screenplay for Red has been written by the same writer of The Grudge and that it's based on the best selling book by Jack Ketchmum, there seems to be a distinct cheapness about the film; that gives the impression that Red would be better off reincarnating itself as a small TV Series rather then an Indy feature, as you will be able to tell just from watching the trailer.

But regardless of my nitpickery; Red's tale of vengeance, un-rest and blood soaked anguish really stands out against other films that carry similar stalker/vigilante type narratives; Hitcher, No Country For Old Men. Even more so with the perfectly cast Brian Cox; 25th Hour, portraying the victimized and mad justice seeking Avery Allan Ludlow, who is struggling to come to terms with the tragic and unprovoked loss of his only companion; his beloved dog Red, resulting in some grizzly repercussions for all those responsible.

Truly an emotional roller coaster of a journey, crawling through death,pain and revenge. Red is the full vendetta package. I highly recommend you check this one out, if not for the story then for Brian Cox's flawless performances.

- A

[dailymotion id=xfhnn]

Video Clip : The Grudge

Singer : Tool

We love movies. The dark theater (minus the jackass texting 3 rows in front of you). The box of Milk Duds. The drink that's way too big, but you're going to finish the damn thing anyways, because you paid $5.00 for it. The previews... ahh, the previews. Allowing yourself to leave the world behind and be swept away for 2 hours by the vision of a truly great filmmaker. Trying to figure out the ending long before you should even be worried about that. Analyzing the plots and subplots. Reaching sometimes further than we should to try to find the applicability to our own lives.

For us, film is truly one of the greatest art forms. As you should all know by now, art is kind of a big deal to us. And, there's nothing better than the first time you see a great film, except for maybe the second or third time. Losing yourself in the art of film is an experience like none other. These experiences often leave such an impression that we're left remembering the exact days or specific events that are connected to the watching of them. Kyle first saw the movie Fight Club on 7/25/99. He remembers clearly the ecstasy he met as the last scene unfolded, and the musical genius of the Pixies merged with the cinematic genius of David Fincher. Ben can relive the fear he felt the night he saw The Exorcist. The darkness of the night. The pouring Texas rain. How not 10 minutes after the film ended, the power was cut in his apartment, and he was left to sit on the floor in the dark for the next 3 hours. It was one of the only times in his life where he genuinely felt the effects of a scary movie. Of course, the thunderstorm and the lack of electricity helped out quite a bit.

Have we made our point? We really love movies.

As fantastic and wonderful as these great movies, nay films, can be, there is a darker side. As it says in the Bible (or maybe it's Star Wars), you can't have good without evil. You can't have light without darkness. You can't have great without terrible. We desperately wish this wasn't the case with cinema.

Bad movies are ruining America. They're lowering people's expectations, tastes and IQ's. They're bastardizing a wonderful art form. They're making us question the future of the human race. (Yes, we know we can be a little dramatic, but we wait until we're tired and angry to write these posts. Somehow, it just feels right.)

And now, for your enjoyment, awareness, and education we'll list our most hated movies. We'll tell you why we hate them. We might even spoil the endings so that you're not even tempted to see them. Just don't ask us to tell you which one is worse than the others. They all suck.

Ben's Most Hated Movies:

Titanic

At one point the highest grossing movie ever. Is it still? Don't know. Don't care. All I know is that whenever I would hear that ungodly Celine Dion song I wanted to down a bottle of cyanide. This, to my recollection, was the first moment in my life that I refused to take part in something that the main-stream was thoroughly enjoying. I refused to go see the film. I'm sorry to say now that I eventually caved and ended up watching the movie on a date. Stupid girls. I've always regretted it. How much I would enjoy being able to say today that "I've never seen Titanic." I won't make that mistake again. (See Harry Potter) Titanic = bad dialogue, pointless nudity, some of the worst one-liners of our generation (you're not the effing king of the world), Leonardo DiCaprio's worst acting gig ever (and yet, the one that catapulted him to a certain level of super stardom), a great example of a film that's only "great" because enough money was thrown at it, and ammunition for all guys, everywhere, against women... She let go!

Not to mention... you did know, going into this movie, that everyone was going to die, right? It's the freaking Titanic.

Cross Dressing Comedies
Big Momma's House (1&2), Nutty Professor (1&2), White Chicks, The Hot Chick, Mrs. Doubtfire, Norbit, Madea's Family Reunion

Have I forgotten any? I'm sure I have. It's pretty satisfying to be able to kill 9 horrible movies with one stone, though. Since when did a man in a dress become instant comedy? The worst of it, in my eyes, is the volume of black comedians subjected to these rolls. If I were Al Sharpton, I would spend a little less time worrying about the "racism" of people like Don Imus and a little more time worrying about the degradation that occurs in the black community when thousands of people gather around a screen and laugh at black men in dresses.

I don't even know where to start here. Isn't it universally accepted that this is the bottom of the barrel? These aren't movies. They certainly aren't comedy. These are bad Laffy Taffy jokes, at best. Putting on a dress, and frequently a fat suit, doesn't equal funny. Funny equals funny. Can you have comedy with cross dressing? Sure. There are truly comedic moments in the history of film and television that involve cross dressing - namely, Monty Python and Arrested Development. But these moments are funny because of the great writing, great acting, great comedy, not because some dude is wearing a dress. Putting a guy in a dress, filming him, and then expecting laughter is not only insulting to my intelligence, it's ruining America.

And, if you're laughing at them, then so are you.

"Scary" Movies
Blair Witch Project, The Ring 2, The Grudge (1&2), Boogeyman, Dark Water, Saw 1-25, Hostel, Captivity, and on and on and on...

I do kind of feel like I'm cheating by including two genres on my list, but it is really hard to narrow this down. You'll also notice that I didn't include the first Ring. That's because I actually enjoyed that one. But, then again, that was before the cinematic saturation of young Asian girl "horror".

To be fair, the Saw franchise could probably carry this thing alone, but the tragedy is how eager we are to shell out our money to sit through these so called "scary movies". I think The Grudge is literally the same 10 minute scene shot at different angles and replayed 10 times. I can remember sitting in the theater during Blair Witch... laughing. It really was an amusing film to me. Some would probably credit it with opening new doors for film makers, or something idiotic like that, but the only thing that I give this movie credit for was conning millions of dollars out of our pockets. I do believe the first Saw had some of the worst acting I've ever seen in my life delivered by none other than the Dread Pirate Roberts (Cary Elwes) "You BASTARD!" Again... quite laughable. Captivity was actually nominated for 3 Razzies: Worst Actress, Worst Director, and Worst Excuse for a Horror Movie. It was then nominated for a Teen Choice Award for Choice Movie Actress: Horror/Thriller. See what these films are doing to the rising generation?

I see the same principle here as the comedies. Show us something stupid, expect us to laugh. Show us something gruesome, expect us to be scared. No plot necessary, don't worry about good dialogue, just be sure to kill a lot of people and make it as bloody as possible. If there's a young girl with a lot of dark hair covering her face... all the better.

Kyle's Most Hated Movies:

Pearl Harbor

I've only walked out of the theater during one movie in my entire life. Those of you who know me know I'm not a prude, so it wasn't due to excessive violence, language, coolness, cigarette smoking, etc. I didn't walk out because it was merely boring, as I enjoy a good nap as much as the next guy. I walked out because this movie was so lame, so offensively sappy, so inappropriately far away from what it should have been that I just couldn't stand it any longer. I'll give you a hint, there's an entire song in the Trey Parker/Matt Stone film Team America devoted to this movie's awfulness.

That's right, it's Pearl Harbor. Ugh.

My hatred for Michael Bay began with this absolute abortion of a film. First of all, Ben Affleck sucks. He's not good to watch in any role, let alone a romantic hero role. That was my first hint, before I'd even seen the movie, that it was going to be terrible.

Second of all, in a three-hour movie, how can only half an hour be devoted to the actual events of Pearl Harbor? Is the story of that fateful day so boring and lame that it just begs for a drawn out, painfully dull love story? And to make it a love triangle? Gag me with a freaking spoon. The real story of Pearl Harbor and its lasting impact is so interesting and powerful that it's a shame we saw so little of it. It's as if someone wrote a terribly boring love story/period piece, and then realized that people would pay to see it if the story was set around the Japanese attack on the Oahu harbor. The actual Pearl Harbor elements feel tacked on and superfluous, and they should be anything but.

Finally, I just really, really hate Ben Affleck. I feel justified in making that my first and last argument. He sometimes redeems himself in his buddy Kevin Smith's flicks, but he doesn't do it enough.

Holy crap, I really hate that movie. To this day, I've only seen the first and last half hour bits. That's more than enough.

Epic/Date/Scary/Superhero/Disaster Movie (Also, Meet the Spartans)

There's nothing inherently wrong with spoof movies. I'm a huge fan Monty Python, Mel Brooks and even David Zucker's earlier stuff. Flicks like the Life of Brian, Young Frankenstein and Airplane! are silly, full of references and extreme performances. But the thing is, they're also riotously funny, and they've become modern cinematic classics.

Today's spoof movies are a different animal altogether. Lazy, unfunny and uninspired, this newest wave of Naked Gun-wannabes can be seen as only aiming for one goal: striving for the lowest common denominator in taste, intelligence, and unfortunately, humor. I'm ashamed to admit that I've seen more than one of these terrible, awful films. I've spoken with my local clergy, and I feel that I've been absolved of these sins, but the painful memory remains.

I don't even want to talk about these anymore. I'll only advise you that, if you see any movie, regardless of specific title, that reminds you of one of these, run for the hills. That is, unless it came out before 1980, of course. (I know a previous post argued against such a mentality, but in this case, it's warranted!)

RENT

Here's the description I found on imdb.com:

Based on Puccini's 'La Boheme', 'Rent' tells the story of one year in the life of friends living the Bohemian life in modern day East Village, New York City, 1989-1990. Among the group are our narrator, nerdy love-struck filmmaker Mark Cohen; the object of Mark's affection, his former girlfriend, Maureen Johnson; Maureen's Harvard-educated public interest lawyer and lesbian lover Joanne Jefferson; Mark's roommate, HIV-positive musician and former junkie, Roger Davis; Roger's new girlfriend, the HIV-positive drug addicted S&M dancer, Mimi Marquez; their former roommate, HIV-positive computer genius Tom Collins; Collins' HIV-positive drag queen street musician/lover Angel; and Benjamin Coffin III, a former member of the group who married for money and has since become their landlord and the opposite of everything they stand for. Shows how much changes or doesn't change in the 525,600 minutes that make up a year.

I don't want to talk about that movie anymore. Couldn't hate it more.

And that's our (relatively) brief and very incomplete list. We'd like to thank all the good movies out there to give us something against which to compare these terrible, terrible pieces of garbage. We'll be back soon with yet another tirade against Things That Are Ruining America.

-b&k

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<><

><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<><

Después de “The Ring”, “The Grudge”, “Premonición”, "Llamada Perdida” y “The Eye”, nos faltaba el remake de la película tailandesa de terror “Shutter”, un discreto film del año 2004, que se pudo ver en España en 2006.

Con un argumento bastante similar a “The Ring”, no aportaba muchos más méritos que un final que al menos sorprendía por su originalidad, y que contenía una cierta gracia.

Para los que no hayan visto la tailandesa, este es el argumento de la versión U.S.A. 

-

Una pareja recién casada tiene que trasladarse a vivir a Tokio. Allí observan que las fotografías que realizan son veladas por la presencia de un fantasma. El fantasma, claro está, comienza a acosarles.

El estreno en España es mañana 11 de Abril.

Cuando la veamos (que seguro que la vemos, porque el remake es remake, pero el morbo es el morbo, y con su punto de masoquismo), ya la comentaremos.

Para ver ficha, trailers y demás, pinchad aquí

Swanson   

15.- Psycho: para empezar la sola idea de hacer una nueva versión de esa película fue malo, malisisisimo. Y para terminar, la película no me gusto del todo. Es básicamente la misma versión a color y con otros actores.

14.- The Omen: ni siquiera me he atrevido a verla.

13.- The Hitcher: se estreno en unos pocos cines y paso sin pena ni gloria.

12.- Black Christmas: no la he visto.

11.- Thirt13en Ghosts: No he visto la original, pero el remake se me hizo bueno.

10.- Sisters: no sabia que ya la habían estrenado.

9.- The Grudge 1 & 2: Si vez solo la primera se hace buena y entretenida, si logras ver la versión japonesa, pues… es muy superior. The Grudge 2 fue basura.

8.- One Missed Call: chingados, tengo ganas de verla y me quitan la ilusión.

7.- Halloween: ni Zombie se salvo.

6.- The Wicker Man: He escuchado que es muy mala.

5.- Pulse: No se me hizo del todo mala, esta entretenida, pero es que si la comparamos con la original se queda corta. Aparte de que pasarla al ambiente universitario le resto puntos.

4.- The Ring 2: Culpome de escoger y aburrir a varios de mis amigos con esta película.

3.- The Fog: maldita película, no tiene nada bueno, aburrida, tediosa, mala.

2.- Dark Water: no estoy de acuerdo, me gusto este remake.

1.- When a Stranger Calls: no la he visto.

Esta bien visto que cuando se quiere hacer un buen o al menos digno remake, se hace, se puede lograr y nos pueden entregar un buen producto. Cuando se quiere cagar también la cagan a lo grande.

Y aun faltan Shutter, Day of the Dead, A Tale of  Two Sisters, Piranha, Friday the 13, son de los que me acuerdo.