saw pam today.. she become prettier.. cher wee said i talk to her like wanna eat her up.. haha she my type of ger.. if she wasn't tat ger frenz.. i will.. hahaha no la know her better only..

recently work kinda sux... i dunno y.. tink there is kinda stress around.. headache ah... haizz...

"Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it."

Richard Feynman (1918 – 1988) was an American physicist and 1965 Nobel Price winner known for the path integral formulation of quantum mechanics, the theory of quantum electrodynamics, the physics of the superfluidity of supercooled liquid helium, as well as work in experimental particle physics. (And, if you understood that, please don't explain it. Rico)

Fruit Salad Gay Podcast

FruitSaladShow.com

School Daze tonight was fun and great to meet up with people who I hadn't seen for quite a while. Just sitting in the CPA made me remember good times with Haven and Black Comedy, like singing and playing the fool at both times. :) Plus the euphoria of performances, whether onstage or backstage. I do miss theatre, almost as much as I miss debate.

As we sang the school anthem and I walked down the spiral staircase, I realised how much I miss school too.

I'm rather tired now. Tomorrow calls for planning and for vision.

bro! i suddenly got this idea that actually "the air we breathe, to the toilet I just flushed, to the telly I’m watching" are juz there... It is not a mere mental construct. However, they are only mentally constructed in the way u sense/perceive them, which result in the current understandings that we have of them... So the real telly is actually not the telly that u see, hear, smell, touch, taste.

As for the moral relativism, i still think that it is very important for humans to hold certain personal values as it creates meanings for his or her existence(unless u have jump out of the illusion of existence). Do not be afraid of choosing and standing on your values juz because that there are not standard measures. We need to stand on our own values, to satisfy our irritating self-reflecting and questioning abilities. Being a moral relativist does not mean that he or she does not hold/believe in any value. It just that he or she would not see his or her values as absolute truth and judge others' values based on theirs...

Juz some thoughts that i came up with...

What this means is that my favorite poems are no longer physically in my hands.

What this means is that I'm going to be writing more, in order to get more poems physically in my grip.

Just letting whoever cares or it still there know.

पुस्तकीय ज्ञान उस वक्त काम नहीं देता जब निजी पांडित्य का प्रदर्शन आवश्यक हो| इसी प्रकार उधार का धन भी वक्त पर काम नहीं देता| अतः दोनों ही व्यर्थ हैं|

सौजन्य - चन्दामामा जुलाई १९८२

Sekian hari yang lalu aku rajin gara-gara Adey. Dia sedang rajin belajar masalah ketauhidan, menerapkannya sedikit-sedikit dalam hidup sehari-hari, termasuk kata-kata: sampaikanlah walau hanya satu ayat!

Jadi demikianlah, akhirnya aku ketularan jadi lebih baik. Ceilaaah! Trus, kali ini ceritanya aku mau cerita bahwa aku nandain! Nandain bedanya seorang aku yang lagi rajin dibanding aku yang lagi kumat malesnya.

Kalau imanku lagi naik, hidupku jadi teratuuuuuur dan tenaaaaaaang banget. Aku bangun pagi dengan segar tanpa sebab, bahagia tanpa sebab, tenang tanpa sebab. Dan itu menyebabkan seorang aku melakukan hampir semua pekerjaan dengan ikhlas dan tanpa beban. Bisa dipastikan, pekerjaan-pekerjaan apapun, termasuk pekerjaan rumah maupun pekerjaan kantor kuselesaikan dengan relatif lebih baik. Yang bagusnya lagi, sepanjang hari mood-ku baguuuus terus. Kalau ada masalah yang datang, aku cenderung menghadapinya dengan lebih kalem. Hampir tidak ada kondisi yang memaksaku berbuat masalah seperti biasanya. Temperamenku membaik drastis, dan entah mengapa aku hampir tidak pernah ngomong dengan berteriak-teriak. Nada suaraku merendah dan kondisi hatiku lebih semeleh. Damaiiiii sekali.

Kalau kondisi imanku lagi low rise buanget, keadaan jadi sebaliknya. Aku temperamental, dan hampir selalu ngomong dengan teriak-teriak. Adanya masalah sering kali bikin aku meledak tak terkendali. Bad mood rasanya ga pergi-pergi dari hatiku. Kalaupun aku lagi seneng, kesenangan hatiku lebih terpancar dengan cara yang meledak-ledak juga, kayak orang kebanyakan energi dan ga tahu musti dibuang dengan cara seperti apa kecuali membuat keramaian, nyetel lagu R&B kenceng-kenceng, ikut teriak-teriak bareng sama penyanyinya, nyubitin pipi cewe manapun yang lewat keras-keras sampai mereka kesakitan, menertawakan segala hal dengan tidak biasa. Gila! :))
Kalau diliat-liat dari perbandingan itu, memang baiknya aku segera berbenah diri kali ya... Habis aku yang males kayaknya mengerikan sekali. Tapi memang kayak begitulah aku. Seringkali bertingkah sadistis memang biasa *halah, berlebihan*, walau sebenarnya kalau ditilik-tilik, sebenarnya dalam lubuk hatiku yang paling dalam aku dasarnya baik hati loh...

Seorang aku? Segitunya? Hhh... ya ampun, terserah deh kata orang. Sahabat-sahabat baikku lah yang paling tahu aku. Orang-orang lain? Terserah deh. Kalau banyak orang menggosipkanku ya, aku anggap saja memang aku punya gen seleb kali ya, jadi banyak yang gosipin. Jangan-jangan sebentar lagi mukaku ada di tivi di acara gosip artis. Weeeek...  ^_^

Ah ya, satu saja yang ingin kubilang di sini: bahwa seorang aku masih menyadari bahwa di dalam Islam, hak seorang lelaki adalah memilih, sedangkan hak seorang perempuan adalah menolak. Dan aku meyakininya ^_^

It is impossible to study the history of wine country in the Sierra Foothills and the Delta without knowledge of the broader economic forces that have shaped the region since the mid-nineteenth century.

Years Before the Gold Rush

Until the Gold Rush, Stockton and Sacramento were natural deep water ports. The subsequent mining during the Gold Rush filled the riverbeds with debris. These cities are still deep water ports, but only because a path through the Delta is dredged.

The early economy revolved around the transport of goods to and from these regional centers. However, the population was relatively small and did not support a significant wine industry.

The Independent Miner: Impact on Wine Country

On January 24, 1848, James Marshall discovered gold in the American River. When news got out, a flood of young men raced to the region to seek their fortunes.

For a few years, miners searched streams throughout the Sierra Foothills for surface placer. It was during these early years of the Gold Rush that the romanticized notion of the self-sufficient miner emerged. The mythological independent miner is a part of California's identity to this day.

These miners had an incessant thirst for alcohol. This demand led to the birth of the Sierra Foothills Wine Country. In 1856, Swiss immigrant Adam Uhlinger planted grapes in the Shenandoah Valley. These were the original vineyards in the Sierra Foothills and were located in Amador County.

The wine industry boomed in the following years to satisfy the need for alcohol amongst the miners. Despite the unhospitable soils, rugged entrepeneurs continued to seek out new locations to grow grapes and make wine.

Early vineyards were also planted to the north of Uhlinger's original vines in the more elevated El Dorado County. In 1860, Fossati-Lombardo was the first winery established in the newly incorporated town of El Dorado.

At the height of the Gold Rush, there were over 100 wineries in the Sierra Foothills. All evidence points to Zinfandel as the primary varietal at the time. Wines were extremely rustic, naturally very alcoholic and often fortified.

Industrial Mining: Impact on Wine Country

After the surface placer was discovered and mined, large-scale operations took over. The idea of independent miners striking their fortunes is largely a misnomer. It was true for the first few years, but as with any major business opportunity in a free market society, capital was rapidly pooled to profit from it. The Pacific Stock Exchange was the epicenter of concentrating the capital needed to undertake these massive operations.

Entire rivers were diverted with wooden flumes in an effort to scour the dry riverbeds for gold. The scale of these operations was monumental.

The mining industry also began to delve deep into the earth through the practice of hydraulicking. Hydraulicking was the process of literally blasting away mountainsides with pressurized water. This tactic had immediate as well as long-lasting implications for region's wine country, environoment and economy.

To this day, there are man-made canyons that are hundreds of feet deep in the Sierra Foothills from this process. Debris washed downstream to the Delta and caused massive flooding and devastation at the time. They also formed a base of silt which is partly responsible for the current region's remarkable productivity. However, the immediate economic benefits were felt in the emerging metropolis of San Francisco.

The industrial and real estate fortunes of San Francisco were tied not only to the actual gold of the Sierra Foothills, but also the frenzy created by gold fever. A handful of wealthy San Franciscans owned factories located south of Market Street that produced the machinery needed for hydraulicking. They also owned much of the real estate north of Market Street. They completed their highly profitable cycle by using newspapers and magazines to advertise the potential for vast riches to anyone who moved to the area.

Large numbers of people moved to San Francisco and the surrounding areas to claim their piece of the windfall. The population increase sky-rocketed their land values and provided an abundant and cheap labor force to extract more gold. The burgeoning San Francisco skyline was a direct result of the inverted skyscrapers that were the mines in the Sierra Foothills.

The gold from these mines literally financed this urban prosperity. It was unbelievably lucrative for a select few. The immediate collateral effects of the whole process were the devastated farmlands (including wine country) in the Delta. Flooding was so common that the region became a shallow extension of the San Francisco Bay for much of the year. Ships could barely navigate the mud-choked waters of the once pristine Bay.

Environmental Implications and the End of Hydraulicking

Forests were cut down with alarming efficiency to build flumes to divert rivers. Because almost all the trees surrounding the rivers and creeks in the Sierra Foothills were cut down, the banks were not properly supported. This contributed to the regular inundations downstream. In one exceptionally bad year, the newly elected mayor of Sacramento had to travel by boat to his inauguration.

The majority of the trees in the Tahoe area today are less than 150 years old. The old-growth was decimated during the Gold Rush.

Huge amounts of debris from constant hydraulicking filled riverbeds and caused flooding in Delta farmlands that worsened every year. Viticultural production in Lodi was adversely affected during these years.

This boom cycle continued until January 7, 1884 when Judge Lorenzo Sawyer of the Ninth Circuit Court outlawed the practice of hydraulicking. He declared that the impact of hydraulicking on the natural environment was undeniable. Political pressure from agricultural interests in the Delta and the Central Valley was also a factor. However, the most powerful objection to hydraulicking came from the U.S. Navy. They could barely reach Mare Island Naval Base through the clogged waterways.

The Bust, Prohibition, and Post-Prohibition Years

One of the defining periods in California's history had ended and the economic repurcussions were massive. The town of Fiddletown is an example of the impact of the mining bust. Once a vibrant trading center, the population dwindled significantly after Judge Sawyer's ruling.

Because wine country in the Sierra Foothills was isolated from the rest of the state, planted vineyards in the region largely avoided the devastation caused by the Phylloxera Louse at the end of the nineteenth century. Because of this, there are some exceptionally old vines still alive in the foothills today.

However, this isolation coupled with the disintigration of the local market for wine (no more miners) had a severe impact on the wine industry. When Prohibition became law, only the Fossati-Lombardo Winery retained its bond to produce wine for local churches. The wine industry in the Sierra Foothills fell even further into oblivion in the decades immediately following the repeal of Prohibition. Even Fossati-Lombardo Winery was forced to shut its doors.

The Delta weathered these years more successfully. In the years after the Gold Rush, many of the growers in Lodi began to form wine producing co-ops to deal with the changing times. These arrangements were largely successful for several decades.

After Prohibition was enacted, Lodi Wine Country continued to produce grapes for home winemakers through the Volstead Act. Heads of household were legally allowed to make a limited amount of wine for personal consumption. The proximity of logistical routes to Lodi made the business quite profitable.

The Flame Tokay and Zinfandel varietals were shipped all over the country, often east of the Rocky Mountains. Cesare Mondavi (father of Robert and Peter) came to Lodi from Northern Italy in the 1920s. He began his career in the wine industry by shipping grapes to the East Coast during Prohibition.

The Renaissance Wine Country in the Delta and Sierra Foothills

By the 1950s, 7 major Lodi co-ops encompassed more than 600 independent growers. However, problems with this business model began to arise. All the co-ops except East-Side were eventually bought by major wine production and distribution corporations. This is the basis for the current domination of big business in Lodi Wine Country. The region has only partly emerged from the jug wine era. Lodi is instrumental in producing grapes for White Zinfandel. That being said, there are many high-quality, limited-quanity wines from the AVA.

Wine production in Clarksburg began in 1968 when Warren and Chris Bogle planted 20 acres of vineyards in the region. The AVA's wine industry has grown considerably since then and currently has a reputation for producing some of the best Chenin Blanc in the United States.

Greg Boeger bought the old Fossati-Lombardo Winery in 1973 and established the first Post-Prohibition Winery in the Sierra Foothills. Since then, the region has steadily grown, and has recently planted a significant amount of Rhone and Cal-Italian varietals. Zinfandel remains the region's specialty.

The Sierra Foothills and Delta have played an extremely important role in shaping modern California. Although these regions are often thought of as peripheral, they are largely responsible for the population and financial foundation that the Golden State rests on today.

About The Author Benjamin Bicais lives in the Napa Valley and is the webmaster of http://www.california-wine-tours-and-accessories.com.

不甘心让你太沉重了~
为了一个不甘心让自己辛苦值得吗？
其实没有什么东西是不甘心的，
就算真的是有这样的感觉，又如何呢？能改变一切吗？

不甘心是一股气，
一股怨气~

人常常会以不甘心来表达自己所面对的不公平对待~
宁可说不甘心也不愿说是自己不服气，
因为如果说不服气的话会让人觉得是自己不对，是自己忘不了，
而把不服气说成不甘心就不同咯~
自己顿时变成受害者，受到同情~

不甘心与不服气只是各别不同的说法罢了~

-Buddha

I love this particular quote because it's true; we create our own reality for the most part. Accepting this as a responsibility is a huge part of being happy. You are responsible for your own happiness. Seriously. When you put your happiness in the hands of other people or on other things, you abandon this responsibility and this fails to work at least 75% of the time.

I'd like to go on a tangent for a second and talk about "The secret". First, I'd like to say that it's a great little motivation book except for a whole bunch of quotes taken out of context, as well as false science used to validate certain points, taking advantage of the fact that most readers don't know anything about quantum physics. Anyway, the book basically states the same thing as I have in the previous paragraph only it claims you are also responsible for other people as well. It says you create your own reality, as I have, but goes on to pretty well say that it's your fault you were abused as a child or that your husband beats you, etc. because you have brought that negativity to you through "The power of thought". It makes me sick to think of how shitty that probably made some people feel. If you have been the victim of violence, it is definately not your fault. You are responsible for your OWN actions, not those of some cowardly idiot who derives satisfaction from making other people feel small. ANYWAY...The Secret is not all bad, but it's not all true either. A great post on "the secret" and the law of attraction can be found here.

Positive thinking is awesome, don't get me wrong but sitting there and thinking and letting "the secret" take care of everything is NOT being responsible for your own reality. Sorry. Soooo...now that i've taken all your magic pixie dust away, I'm choosing to be informative for a while.

Taking Charge

Throughout my life I have encountered many obstacles which most people could not even dream about, but I have also overcome those obstacles. This is my method.

Step one: Be thankful for the things you already have in order. Chances are, things aren't as bad as they seem. If you have to, make a list of all the great things in your life if it makes you feel good. Corny, but some people find having it on paper to be really helpful.

Step two: Acceptance. There are some things you can change, and some things you can't. You certainly cannot change the past. Regret is so useless and so negative. I have trouble with this one sometimes but I try my best. Remember, it's what you do in the present.

Step three: Patients. This is one thing I am not known well for. When i want something done or changed I want it that very instant. This sometimes motivates me to take action but a lot of the time I get frustrated when I can immediately create the change I want. Baby steps are essential to success. MAKE A LIST. I cannot even describe the infinite power of lists. Write down the things you want to change then break each item down, which I will cover in step four.

Step four: Action! When I am figuring out what is the best course of action for a given problem or situation I like to write it all down. This is how I do it. Example: lets pretend you are unsatisfied with a current job or relationship and are wondering how to change things you might break it down like this:

What is the problem?

What am I doing to change it?

Is this working for me?

If not, what else could I do?

When I show friends this method a lot of times their answer to the second question is nothing. It's silly to complain about something when you're not doing anything to help it. However, most times a complaint is an invitation for somebody else to fix it. The reality is only YOU can change your life.

That's pretty well it, I guess. No fairy dust, just responsibility. Own your problems and you will overcome them.

"No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path."

-Buddha

Golden Rules For Writers - Things you need to know before you begin.

Rules govern everything we do in life; even if those rules are of the unwritten kind we abide by them and expect other people to do the same. Why should writing be any different? It shouldn’t be and it isn’t. The following rules are the basis for good writing. If anyone tries to tell you that rules are made to be broken, remember that you have to learn those rules before you try to bend them or break them otherwise you are just being sloppy, not radical.

The following rules are essential if you want people to take you seriously.

Be yourself
Know your subject
Be interested
Punctuate proudly
Respect the apostrophe
Get great grammar
Spell well
Keep to the point
Read and revise
Sleep on it
Pay attention to detail

Be yourself

Write from the heart or the head or the gut, depending upon the type of writing you are doing. You can let your heart pour passion into a love letter but your head is better for the contents of a business letter and the gut feeling should never be ignored. Never try to imitate somebody else’s style, no matter how much you might admire it, you will always appear fake. Find your own unique style, your own voice.

Know Your Subject

Write on topics you know about. Although that sounds obvious you don’t have to look very far to find masses of people publishing articles when it is clear that they have very little idea about their subject matter. This type of writing appears thin, limp and unconvincing even to the untrained eye. You should aim for writing which has substance; a rounded, healthy thing with a life of its own. If, for some reason, you are obliged to write about a topic which is alien to you, make the effort to research it. If you can’t get to the library, there is always the internet. There is no excuse for ignorance. There is no excuse for trying to foist a poorly researched article on your readers. Do you want your readers to point you out as someone who does not know what s/he is talking about?

Be interested

Write about things which interest you. If you are not interested in your subject matter, you have little hope of catching the interest of your reader. If you are in a situation where you simply have to write about a subject which holds no real interest for you, try at least to find an original angle; this could stimulate you as well as your reader. If you cannot spark even faint interest in your subject, your writing will be flat and boring.

Punctuate proudly

Don’t be one of those people who pretend they don’t think punctuation matters: it does. Ask your self this: if these people really believe that, why do they bother to punctuate at all? Why don’t they just write on and on without any dots or commas? That, surely, is more logical than putting in dots and commas in the wrong places. The truth is, they are too lazy to learn the rules of punctuation and think they can get away with this by brushing punctuation off as unimportant. Punctuation has had a very bad time over the last forty years or so but I believe it is about to undergo a revival. These things go in cycles and it seems that punctuation is about to have its day at last. Correct punctuation could be the new black. If you don’t believe this, how do you explain why so many thousands of people bought "Eats, Shoots & Leaves"? Even if you have no interest in creating elegant prose, you should learn about punctuation . Without it your writing will at best be difficult to read and at worst not make sense. You will be left wondering why people are laughing at your serious work.

Respect the apostrophe

I know, I know, this is part of punctuation. I happen to think that apostrophes have spent so long being either ignored or abused they now deserve a mention of their own. I can cope quite well with commas and full stops appearing in the wrong place but an incorrectly inserted apostrophe makes me see red. Why do so many people insist on using the apostrophe when they clearly have no idea of its function? Beats me. An improperly placed apostrophe is to writing what a huge, ugly wart is to the nose on a beautiful face. Cruel people will point and laugh at you. You think I am exaggerating? If I am part of a minority on this point, why did so many people buy "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" that it became Book of the Year? Perhaps they thought it was a story about a panda.

Get great grammar

The rules of grammar are not difficult. In the olden days even little kids were taught grammar at school. Like mathematical tables, grammar is no longer treated as an important subject. Most people can get through life without missing the tables which were once memorised by every child who ever went to school. People now have electronic calculators to do their mathematical thinking for them but nothing has replaced the need to understand basic grammar. Please don’t make the mistake of relying on the "grammar check" on your word processor: I am not saying that this tool is entirely without merit but, if you do not know the rules yourself, you can create hilarious results by going along with the recommendations of your word processing package. Another good thing about the rules of grammar is that they don’t keep changing so, once you learn the rules, they will stand you in good stead for the whole of your writing career. Along with punctuation, it is grammar which determines whether or not your writing makes sense. If you don’t know the rules, you will not know if your writing makes sense but other people will, believe me. (Back to pointing and laughing again.)

Spell well

You need to be able to spell in order to write properly. If punctuation is the putty in your windows, spelling is the bricks out of which your house is built. If you don’t have bricks, you cannot build yourself a house. You will probably find this hard to believe but spelling used to be taught in schools in the olden days. Nowadays most people who write do so on a word processor with a spell check function. It is apparent that many of these people do not bother to use their spell checker. This sort of laziness cannot be excused. At the same time, you should not rely entirely on the spell checker: it is only a machine trying to guess what word you have scrambled. If you are not sure about a word, look it up in a dictionary: it never hurts to know the correct meaning of words as well as the correct spelling. Never forget that spell check will take your words out of context: if you type "He sold his soul to Santa", you can’t blame the spell checker for not knowing your really meant "Satan". People would snigger cruelly if you failed to correct this.

Keep to the point

Never make the mistake of padding out your writing with unnecessary or irrelevant details. Keep to the subject announced in your title, after all, the title is probably what attracted the reader in the first place. If the body of your work does not relate to the expectation aroused by the title, the reader will feel tricked and nobody likes that feeling - your reader will move on to read somebody s/he can trust. Do not attempt to pad out your writing with unnecessary words: inserting a few adverbs or adjectives to boost the word-count never works and makes the article difficult to read. Keep it simple, whether people are reading for pleasure or enlightenment, they will not appreciate lumpy prose and they are not reading your work to marvel at your cleverness or your vocabulary. If you run out of things to say before your work is the length you wish to achieve, you are writing on the wrong subject or from the wrong angle.

Read and revise

Boring but essential. However much we enjoy the writing process, reading the end product over and over and making changes is not what we want to be doing. We would rather be starting the next article which is bubbling up in our brains but we have to read, re-read, revise and revise again. It is easy to make mistakes particularly if you have written something over a long period . If you do not correct your mistakes before publication, you will lose the trust of your audience. (I never got over the fact that one of my favourite authors accidentally changed the date of birth of a main character half way through a novel. How could I ever believe in his people if they had moveable birthdays?) If you were a carpenter, you would not offer your customer an unfinished piece of furniture. If you were a tailor you would not offer your customer an unpressed garment. The author should not dream of offering the reader an unpolished piece of writing.

Sleep on it

Don’t be in a rush to publish your work the minute it is finished. Let it rest. If it is ready for publication, it will still be ready tomorrow but, if it is not quite ready, you will have given yourself a chance to make a final amendment. This is particularly relevant when you are writing shorter things. If you have spent months redrafting a novel, you are likely to know if you have satisfactorily completed the final draft but it is easy to knock out and send off short items such as articles or letters and then regret our haste. There is always scope for improvement and what looks like a work of art in the evening glow, might not appear so well in the cold morning light.

Pay attention to detail

If you do not pay attention to detail, you will not discover your errors and there will be plenty of people out there who will be delighted to pick out and highlight the smallest error. Some people just can’t help themselves: it is the way they are made (the way I react when a menu offers me a choice of "Salad’s" - salad’s what?). Other people are just waiting to see you trip yourself up. Don’t give them the satisfaction: get things right before they start pointing and you will have the last laugh. If you have realised that this paragraph is number eleven of my top ten and are already laughing - Well Done! If you did not notice - see what I mean?

About The Author This is one of a series of articles about working from home and writing published by the author, Elaine Currie, BA(Hons) at http://www.huntingvenus.com/ livesupport@huntingvenus.com

I once heard the story of a grown bear that lived in a cage and traveled with a circus ever since he was a small cub. The bear spent everyday of his life pacing back and forth in his cage while countless spectators looked on. When the bear’s keepers were not looking some of the spectators would poke the bear with sharp sticks or would throw pieces of food filled with broken glass into the cage. When the great bear would eat what he thought was a wonderful treat, the broken glass would cut the inside of his throat and stomach.

One day a wealthy animal-lover visited the circus and saw the harmful acts committed against the bear. Because he felt great compassion for animals he approached the circus about purchasing the bear. He explained that he would take the bear and place him in a large open area. In this area the bear would have cool pools of water to play in and lush grassy fields to run. The circus agreed to sell the bear to the man and set up a delivery date.

When the day arrived for the bear to be delivered everyone was anxious to see what would happen when the door of the cage was opened for the first time. To everyone’s amazement, when the cage was opened, the bear did what he spent every day of his life doing. He simply paced back and forth the length of the cage. The bear didn’t even seem to care that the cage door was open. Finally, the bear’s keepers got the bear outside the cage and rolled it away. What they saw next shocked everyone.

The bear looked around at his new beautiful home. He looked at the cool pools of water and the lush green pastures. Then to everyone’s surprise and disappointment, the bear began his pacing. Back and forth he would go – as in an imaginary cage. Eventually he had to be put to sleep because he could not function in his beautiful new home.

I hope and pray that you are not living a life like the bear described above. I heard a quote recently that went something like this, “Don’t let your past dictate who you are, but do let it influence who you become.” It is a well-known fact: Life is not always fair. Therefore, I am of the opinion that when life turns up the heat what you F.O.C.U.S. on helps you make it through the day a winner. My good friend, Robert Mallon, explains it this way, “The longer we look at God the smaller our obstacles become. The longer we look at the obstacles the smaller God becomes. The question is whether we want a BIG God or a big enemy. It is just a matter of perspective.”

When life becomes unfair what do you focus on? The principles below are basic, but will powerfully help you when you are struggling to keep a positive outlook.

F - Fun. Set yourself a goal to have fun every day. Make it intentional. Put it on your calendar. Do whatever it takes – just have fun.

O – Organized. When life becomes unfair we can begin to let things pile up. Things like emails and phone calls to reply to, deadlines at work, laundry, yard work, etc. In other words, a cluttered life will bring about a cluttered mind. Or is that the other way around? Either way, as much as possible, keep your day-to-day activities as organized as possible.

C - Care for others. One of the best ways to forget how much you are hurting is to focus on how you can help others. Getting your eyes off yourself, and on to how you can help others, will boost your positive outlook on life.

U – You. When you are going through tough times it is very important to keep a good diet, workout routine, and sleep habits. This will help keep your mind clear and your energy up. Remember, God loves you and He does not make junk.

S – Successes. Not only should you plan to have fun everyday, but also you should plan to succeed. You might have to tell yourself to be on the lookout for successes in your day, but when you have one, (even a little one) celebrate. A recent rollerblading trip was an example of this in my life. My goal was to “blade” around this paved course (up and down, left and right) without falling. I looked like an elephant on skates, but when I made it to the finish line I was ecstatic! I accomplished my goal and lived to tell about it.

Life is not always fair. Deaths, sickness, career changes, and struggles are going to occur. Just remember to keep your focus and to hold tight to the hand of God. When times are tough, He will carry you to the end.

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www.jeffearlywine.com

About The Author Jeff Earlywine began his ministry career while working on his undergraduate Business degree. His experiences have led him to work in many difference areas that have all benefited the local church. CONSULTANT - Jeff has spent the last fifteen years consulting with hundreds of different organizations all across the nation. Serving as a consultant at The Injoy Group challenged him to be his best while he worked with the best. Jeff has assisted many ministries in Vision Casting, Strategic Planning, and Future Planning. EXECUTIVE PASTOR - Jeff’s unofficial title was, “Pastor of Organization,” and by this title you might know this is his greatest skill. That skill gave him the passion to organize many different ministries in the local church. That skill also developed a volunteer staff capable of growing each of these ministries. He did this by equipping them to fulfill their God-given potential. Jeff’s passion is to come along side the leader and help him to identify and develop his dream, organize the needs of that dream, and then to train and equip leaders to fulfill that dream. jeff@atlantayfc.org

That night, we held hands, and spun around and around and around. The moon was so envious of us, of what we shared. The music finally stopped though. And, like all things, so did we.

That night, you told me that you'd never heard a more beautiful melody. I made sure that they played it when we buried you. I promise.

As with all hero/villain films, ideas of good and evil and their relationship are always involved to some extent or another.  But "The Dark Knight" takes a very different path and approach to the portrayal of evil than its other super-hero predessecors (beyond a mere quantitative path i.e. there's just simply more evil!). We witness this from the moment the Joker enters the screen.  Pause for a moment to consider how the "typical" hero vs. villain story progresses (my good friend Nathan helped me see this point).  There is always a back story on the villain that often starts with him being a decent guy, even moral, but due to some tragic event, has been pushed over the edge and now has one diabolical end whether it's revenge or money to fund his "today the city, tomorrow THE WORLD!!" plan.  The point is that villains always have an objective and a reason why they turn to evil to achieve it and it usually involves bitterness towards the system.  

However, as we quickly realize while viewing "The Dark Knight", the Joker has no story, no self-serving goal per se in terms of power, money, etc.  He comes in wreaking havoc from the start.  He is a complete personification of anarchy, evil, and chaos.  In the words of Alfred the Butler "...some men just want to watch the world burn."  And burn it does while the Joker is at large.  

An interesting point to note is the way in which he tells the stories regarding his grinning scars.  He never tells the same story twice; what could've been a window into his madness is not granted to us for we are left wondering if it's the first story or any of the stories that's actually true.  There is nothing objective about the Joker.  Even what could be called his "plan" is ultimately to show that it is only the perception of order and goodness that keeps people living their lives as if there's order and goodness.  He is anarchy.  He truly believes, and even declares that after someone like him succeeds, "people will eat each other".  And he seeks to prove that hypothesis with an experiment of the most brutal forms.  He rigs two ferries with bombs giving each boat the detonator to the bomb on the other ship.  The choice is simple: at midnight I, the Joker, will blow both of you up, but if one of you pushes the button and explodes the other before then, I will spare you.  Of course, the citizens won't do it and the Joker soon after gets arrested, not killed, but arrested... again.  There is no closure, no dramatic demise of the villain (compare the "end" of the Joker to the end of Sauron in Lord of the Rings).  He leaves the movie hanging upside down, cackling with delight. He would be arrested, but again, what kind of closure is that?  What's to stop him from slipping another cell phone bomb into a neighbor and blowing himself free again?  Nothing.  My friend Nathan had more insight when he said that the implication was that evil doesn't have a really have a good reason to be here, it just is.  The most good can do against evil is win a temporary battle against it, but not the war.  

With the Joker at least out of the way in person, the film moves on to the redemption.  And this is where a less-than-hopeful and fulfilling redemption is seen.  Previously, I noted the "typical" portrayal of villains. Harvey Dent, who later becomes Two Face, embodies this story.  He was the gleaming knight of Gotham that was going to be the "hero with a face" according to Batman.  But when the fifty-fifty chance of salvation coming to him or Rachel as they sit among wired oil cans falls in his favor, and Rachel, his love, perishes, he concludes once and for all that the universe is amoral and the only morality is chance.  For the remainder of his life, he lives under this pretense as he seeks revenge for Rachel's death.  He ultimately falls physically soon after he falls morally (somewhat a picture of us in terms of our nature).  The moments following Harvey/Two Face's death can be likened to the moments after the Fall of Adam and Eve.  Were the truth to be let out, that the seemingly perfect Harvey Dent himself fell to the madness and evil of the Joker, what hope would be left in humanity?  Similarly, what hope in humanity was left after the Fall of Man? None.  The Biblical Story of Redemption is one that proclaims that all hope put in man either individually or collectively, is void.  It is only through the external grace of God in his Son Jesus Christ that any of that former hope can be restored.  

Unfortunately for the characters in "The Dark Knight", this is not the redemption that is in store, for this is largely a Godless story.  No, the redemption that finally emerges is fundamentally a lie.  Batman takes on the sins and responsibility of Two Face in order that the citizens of Gotham may continue to believe that Harvey Dent died a martyr for the cause of justice and morality.  In the closing words of Batman, he says something to the effect of, "Sometimes, the truth isn't enough, and people need to have their faith rewarded."  I won't go into the issue of the faith and reason exclusivity here, for that is another issue entirely and would break off my point in this post, but ponder the redemption put forth here.  This is the closest thing to a Christ figure one in a Godless world can acquire.  Evil is real, too real at times, and the only way to redeem it is to ensure that good wins, even it involves making up a complete scam.  Sometimes, a few people must work outside the rules in order to maintain them.  People must have their faith in the goodness of man rewarded at all costs, even if their depravity is blatant. 

I loved this movie because it so masterfully put forth redemption from the lens of the Godless.  There will always be a passion for good to conquer evil; it is the eschatological yearning that all humans, craving the ultimate resolution of the universe, possess.  The Dark Knight tries to portray this resolution, and unfortunately, leaves one hanging upside down next to the Joker.

Sources of Thought:  Conversations with Sean Hails and Nathan Knapp

I also suprise that I actually cry.. yeah.. I cry.. they manage to make me cry.. I will never forget it.. and I will also find it hard even to forgive them.. I can't I really can't.. my patience is already over the limit.. I already lost my rational thinking.. the bad images.. start to appear and playing around in my mind again.. and again.. I just wish.. and I just wish.. if there is no law and sanity..  just wish..

I remember my friends said.. I wish that we can kill them but I don't want them to die.. is it possible? Yeah kill them but.. they will not die.. scary huh.. impossible and unbelievable.. yeah.. I just wish if killing is the solution.. why am I keep on saying about killing people.. gosh.. I must have been carried away too much with my mind.. my hatred have actually take over my body n mind.. Ya Allah.. Subhanallah.. nauzubillah.. astagfirullah alhazim..

emmm.. ahhhh.. yeah.. I hope I will recover.. my body and my mind.. I just want to get away from all this.. fly away somewhere.. disappear and be happy and laugh all day.. forget whatever happen.. forget the sadness the paint.. the hate.. yeah.. if only it's that easy.. only if that will be so simple and quick..

I'm okay now for a moment.. but.. I'll wait for tomorrow.. we'll see the meeting what it will be.. what it's become.. and what will happen.. I wish Allah bring me happiness and goodness..

My feeling: I would like to confront them one by one and shout to them with all my heart.. I wish I have the strength.. I have all the support that I need..

"I'm looking out for you and you don't even know it," a thought filled my drifting mind as I sat a few feet away from the pair. I knew they didn't view me as their protector. They were focused on other things. The difference in awareness became clear as they looked back at me from branches high up in the tree. From my state of awareness, I was able to protect them because I could prevent something they couldn't see coming. I wasn't better, nor worse, just had a bigger lense on that issue. And I had their welfare in my mind, in my heart.

"Who said that?" I asked, realizing that at the same time the voice was mine, it was that of someone else addressing me.

"Your angel."

"Do you have a name?"

"Michael," came a reply.

We conversed about a couple of questions that had been pressing down on me and while we talked, a fluidlike energy flowed through me like a piece fitting itself into a partially completed puzzle.

Right then, I understood that when I know something from the depth of my core, that knowing, that energy becomes part of me. Thoughts come and go but knowing is from the inside. It can get lost, forgotten, doubted. My consciousness is what I know and at the same time, who I am. At that moment, the knowing that I, like those sparrows, was being cared for by a bigger awareness came back home and filled in an emptiness, energizing me. I am not my thoughts, my beliefs, my feelings. I'm my ever-changing realizations. My understanding, my remembering. My knowing.

A lightbulb turned on and in an instant, I'd become different.

I was wrong. At lunch today, in the car, I fell apart. I had been holding it in since this morning when my son told me he wished he was dead. The Crohn's disease, the social isolation, the uncertainty of life has caused him to be anxious, depressed, and inclined to hurt himself.

This has happened more than once. And at 3 a.m. this morning, we were sitting on the bed crying together. Granted, he is sick. He says he has terrible insomnia and cannot sleep. I have been distracted by my own selfish dramas. Neither of us are doing well. But I decided right then, I had to do something. It was really hard to leave him and just go to work today.

He has tried two different antidepressants himself ... both with ill effects. I called the doctor and he advised that we take him to the hospital, which is what I was afraid of. They may admit him. And if that saves his life, he may hate me forever. But he'll be alive.

I feel like I am drowning in an emotinal whirlpool... and the last thing I was going to grab was a bottle of pills. But I've tried everything else. I've been crying every day for two weeks now. I have a lot of reasons to cry, but I can't solve anything that way.

I have no illusions that the pill I took is going to make me "happy"... or even help me for weeks. But I had to do something. I have to be able to think clearly, and look past my own sadness for a solution to this. I am not going to lose my son. No matter what I have to do. Even grown up. set an example, and follow my own doctor's instructions. I just hope it helps.

It's obvious to me I am not doing much better than he is. And I can't help him that way.

Episode 1 : ARE WE SO IMMUNE TO THESE THINGS AT BENGALURU?

I think this was some two weeks back. It was just after I put my son into sleep around 10 in the morning on a saturday. I was about to get back to my kitchen work, when I heard some honks in variety. Lot many times I see the traffic clog on our road, but this time it was different. People were loosing patience at the backside  and this generally happens if there is any accident and people are still figuring out what to be done next and the whole road gets arranged with the flowing vehicles.

Some three four Autos and a new Scorpio were parked almost infront of our gate and a lady was arguing with the auto driver2. This was because the Scorpio hit the Auto1 and Auto driver2 was arguing heavily with the lady demanding her to pay some Rs 250/- for the damage caused(a dent on the right side just above the tire). The Auto driver1 was almost keeping silent listening to the conversation that was happening between Auto Driver 2 and the lady. The fun was both of them didn't understand each other's language but still the auto driver 2 'managing to speak in Hindi' and the lady was trying really hard to say few words in 'kannada'..

Finally one 'Gentelman' came from the backside(one of the vehicle owners whose vehicle was also struck in the traffic jam) and tried to resolve this issue by negotiating some middle price. Auto driver continues to demand for 250 and the lady resenting to pay it completely. Finally the lady suggests to go to a near by police station and have the maamla solved. Auto Driver1 gets alerted and says, Why police for all these, we can solve it here.. The lady continues her argument and the set of people are watching the tamasha without actually doing anything.. And more and more people are getting added to the crowd with some curiosity!!

Finally I, having known both the languages entered the scene and requested them to clear up the traffic as soon as possible since the honking sound was becoming too terrible. Auto driver 2 says "Had she requested instead of raising her voice, they would have considered forgiving the whole act but her demand is what irked them".. The Lady says, she is powerful and owns 4 autos and the damage(dent) caused by the accident will not even cost 100 bugs so they better accept 100 bugs and push away. She was even saying that she is capable of influencing the people at police station so that they punish the Auto guys and teach them the lesson. Auto driver kept on talking about her rudeness.

Finally I had to spend few of kannada words and few hindi words to end the negotiation and 100 bugs closed the deal. Show came to and end and people spreaded out thus clearing out the traffic.

I wonder if the whole episode triggered any thoughts in you? I kept thinking about the whole episode while I was entering into the kitchen. These are the points.....

1> Can the whole situation be handled in a better way?

2> Does Auto driver ganging up help in better negotiations? Why did Auto Driver 2 came in for that point?

3> Why was that woman so confident(rude?) though it was her mistake?

4> Should I have minded my own business?

5> Why does people just stand and watch the whole episode without doing anything or just minding their own business??

Episode 2 : WHY WAS IT SO?

This is a total different episode which happened just yesteday. We went to Fresh @ Indiranagar for some Vegetable shopping. I was holding my son in one hand and trying to tear the polythene(Those transparent ones which are kept rounded and we can tear how much ever we need) to fill the vegetables into it. A couple came and the lady insisted to pull out the polythene there. The guy just waited for me to finish it. I over heard the lady saying, "She(referring me) was struggling to pull that out, why did you not help her(i.e me) to get those "?..

By then My husband joined us and we continued shopping without much difficulty. The above episode kept me thinking and these are the points to ponder.

1> Was there a better way to take out the cover instead of single handedly trying to tear it?

2> Are woman more courteous?

3> Didn't that person realise that I was struggling to pull that out? or was he interested to pick few for them instead so he was waiting for me to finish it?

4> What would I have done if I were in his place? (Definitely would want to help the person but sometimes takes time to think whether to help or not)

5> Was that person hesitating to offer me the help?

I guess we enjoy reading such simple daily life stories.. Please feel free to share any interesting episodes which most of us can relate to.

--Veena